Mr. Always & Forever

by Ashlee Price

  I was moaning, crying out, the sensations pushing through my body, “Oh God, yes, yes, fuck, fuck, fuck…”

  And with a final, monstrous force he slammed himself into me, holding steady, our bodies shaking, until at last he began to ejaculate inside me. Pulse after pulse of his hot, molten sperm began to spatter my pink, floral folds, filling me up to the brim, overloading me, and setting me over the edge. I screamed, as orgasm began to overtake me, my head throbbing and my pussy bursting, every inch of me on fire with delight as my body burned to smithereens.

  And at last, at long, long last, he pulled out of me, and collapsed on the bed next to me, the two of us sweaty and exhausted, but thrilled as hell over what we’d just done to one another.

  We lay there, panting and exhausted in the afterglow, our heads spinning, the two of us staring wide eyed at the ceiling, our thoughts likely far apart for a moment, but it didn’t matter. I was so thrilled, so astonished by what had happened inside me just then, his fluids still dripping from inside me… It had been so wonderful, and he’d pleased me so thoroughly in every way. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had such a wonderful time in bed, and the thought of it caused a smile to spread wide across my lips.

  This did not go undetected, apparently, as moments later I felt his hand reaching over to me, tenderly caressing the small of my back. He pulled me back into himself, and the two us kissed wildly for a few minutes, to the point that he was getting hard up against me yet again, and I thought we might be about getting ready for round two.

  However, he stopped just short of the mark, pulling away from me instead, and peering into my eyes. “See?” he said, grinning, “We could have stayed there at the bar for hours and it wouldn’t have been anywhere near as fun as that,” he said, and I laughed.

  “I guess you’re right,” I said, and I started just then, as he put his fingers into me once more, rubbing me gently, his own come trickling through his grip as he did so. I moaned for a few moments as the sensations continued to come, but at last I managed to get control of myself. At last, as he was still rubbing me, I said, softly, “You know… I really needed this… I just got out of a pretty bad relationship… Or, well, a relationship that had a bad ending, I guess. My partner had been unfaithful, and up to that point I’d not even suspected it… I was feeling… Well, I was feeling pretty low, honestly, and… This cheered me up…”

  “I thought it might,” he said, leaning in and kissing my breast. I smiled.

  “I guess, well… I guess we’re being pretty honest about what we’re both looking for, so… I just… I hope you don’t mind me asking so soon, but… Well, do you think we’ll end up seeing one another again, after this, I mean? I really like you, and…”

  But he stopped me short. “I don’t like to make plans,” he said, and that elated feeling in my chest came settling gently back down to earth pretty quickly. He could see the disappointment in my face, though, and added hurriedly, “I like you too… It’s just… I feel like trying to think ahead that much is a bad idea. I go to that bar a lot, so if it does happen, it does happen… I just think it’s better to wait and see how things go, than it is to try and predict the future… That’s all…”

  “Oh,” I said, clearly disappointed by his answer. It wasn’t a no, but still… I guess I’m just the sort of person who likes some stability in their life, and it sort of took away some of the hope I’d had that this could be more than just a one night stand. He seemed to take note of my defeated, expression, though, and he hurried to rectify the situation, continuing to stroke my hair, and adding a quick reassurance to what he’d said.

  “I don’t mean anything by that… It’s just how I am… That’s not to say it couldn’t happen, I just don’t want to say it will or it won’t… I do really like you, though… And that isn’t to say we can’t just make the best of this night now, and see where it goes…”

  And God, as he looked into my eyes, it was hard to find fault with his argument.

  He leaned in, and kissed me, and ran his kisses down, down, down all along my body.

  We proceeded to make long, hot love deep into the night.

  Chapter 3

  The two of us went our separate ways, much to my dissatisfaction. As much as I’d hoped that he might reconsider if I loved him good enough throughout the rest of the night, it didn’t look like I was going to have much luck in that regard, and so I would have to simply let the night in question linger on as a happy memory.

  It had been pretty damn encouraging for my self-esteem, if nothing else, after all…

  The morning after, following a night of having sex at least four times (we engaged in quite a bit of non-penetrative stuff in between, as well) I awoke to find him gone from the bed beside me. I placed my hand on the spot where he’d lain, and my eyes went to the door of the bathroom, behind which I could hear the water of the shower streaming.

  Then my eyes fell onto his jeans, discarded in the corner…

  I bit my lip, not wanting to go too far, yet my curiosity got the best of me. I crept over to the discarded pants, and slipped out his wallet. I opened it up to see what his full name was on his driver’s license, Raymond Miller. I thought probably that this one violation of his privacy was more than enough, so I resisted the temptation to inspect his billfold’s other contents, as much as it nagged at me.

  However, when I was slipping it back into place, I did happen to take note of his cell phone tucked away in the opposite pocket of his jeans, and that was one temptation I could not force myself to resist.

  I didn’t intend to spy on him, or anything like that, but I wanted to make sure he had a chance to get in touch with me again, in the hopeful event that he changed his mind about wanting to reunite later on down the road.

  I added myself to his contact list, typing in my name and number, doing my damnedest to avoid looking at the other names in his directory as I did so. Then I slid the phone back into the pocket and hurried away, fleeing the scene of the crime.

  I made my way naked back over to the bed, picking up my scattered clothes from around the room, and moving to get dressed. I’d just managed to wriggle back up into my panties, when suddenly the bathroom door had opened, and out came Ray, his perfect, naked body now dripping with water, and the temptation was entirely too powerful for me to resist.

  Still wet, he hurled me onto the bed and whipped me right back out of my panties, and the two of us went at it like hell one final time before going our separate ways.

  And God… Even if the two of us never saw one another again, I felt as though the hot, steamy memories of that night of unbridled passion would almost surely last a lifetime.

  Over the next week, I kept checking my phone desperately, hoping for any word or sign of life or interest from Ray. It actually became quite the obsession after a while, the notion that I might miss his message preoccupying me, so that no matter what I was doing I would scramble for the phone, hurrying to check my texts.

  But alas, every damn time, I found myself coming back down to earth hard as hell, disappointed, quickly giving up hope.

  He wasn’t going to text me, goddamn it… I was deluding myself, plain and simple, and I needed to get back to my life and forget about him.

  It was true, I could always go back to the bar and wait for him there, I supposed… But I thought, fuck that… If he wanted to be with me, he knew damn well how to get in touch. I wasn’t going to just wait around for him, so that he could treat me like nothing more than yet another in what I was sure was a long line of one night stands. I had far, far too much pride for that.

  That is, until I missed my period…

  My pride vanished away in pretty short order after that.

  How could this have happened? How the hell could I be pregnant with that bastard’s child? I’d been on birth control, and thought surely that had been enough. But clearly, the pill isn’t failsafe, and I had, of course, been part of the minuscule percentage of the population for whom such meth
ods of birth control failed.

  My fling with the bad boy had all but screwed me over…

  I scrambled around in my head, struggling to figure out what the hell I should do. I didn’t even consider terminating – I wasn’t sure how I felt about it, but it scared me too much to even ponder it in my head. Yet it seemed impossible that I could hope to count on Ray to raise this child with me. There was no way in hell he would ever go for it…

  Still, though, I had to at least give it a damn try. I went back to the bar where we’d met, expecting him to be there as per his word. But of course, he wasn’t there… Nor had I had the good sense to steal his phone number when I was adding myself to his phone, so I couldn’t contact him directly, either.

  My only hope at this point was to track down his physical address using the name I’d taken from his driver’s license, and pray that he was decent enough to consider taking me in after getting me knocked up.

  It had taken some digging, and I’d ended up showing up to the houses of two different Ray Millers that weren’t him before at last making it to what was presumably the right place.

  The house was a lot nicer than I might have expected…

  I rang the doorbell nervously, not sure what the hell I should expect, and when the door open, the sight that, in fact, greeted me, was one I’d expected even less than the other possibilities I’d been considering.

  “Can I help you?” asked a woman, older than myself by a few years, and instantly I felt a pang of nerves, a less than pleasant sense of realization coming over me.

  “Oh, um… Yeah, is… Ray there?” I asked, walking on eggshells, and feeling as though I might regret it just as soon as the words passed my lips.

  “He’s out,” she said flatly, looking me up and down, disgust painting her otherwise beautiful features in a manner that was markedly unflattering. “Who the hell are you?” And it was in that moment that my worst fears were realized… My eyes fell to the ring on her finger, and then to the background, where I could clearly spy a wedding photo – featuring the woman, and an unmistakably younger version of Ray.

  My mouth fell limply open, and I blinked, trying to see straight, my world feeling as though it was crashing in all around me. I stammered, a series of halting squeaks peeping up from inside me, but no words came out.

  “Excuse me?” asked my pissy host, and I looked up at her in a different light now, feeling extremely guilty, and as though I’d committed a terrible wrong against her.

  “I’m… I’m sorry,” I said, trying to think up an excuse for my presence here. “I think… I think maybe I have the wrong Ray.”

  The woman scowled at me, that pretty face of hers again looking disgusted, and when I’d turned to leave she slammed the door shut hard, happy to be rid of me.

  I realized, with horror, that I’d screwed a married man and gotten pregnant with his baby…

  I spent the rest of the day in a stupor. I didn’t sleep that night. Things felt more terrible for me than ever, and I lay in bed with my hand on my abdomen, contemplating the life growing inside me with shame and embarrassment.

  And then my phone began to vibrate, scaring the hell out of me in my present state of distraction.

  The number was unlisted, but I knew who it was instantly all the same. “Elizabeth. Why the hell were you at my house today?”

  I immediately bristled, defensive, and replied, “Why the hell didn’t you tell me you were married?” I should have opened, I supposed, with the news of my pregnancy, but I was just too damn irate about his deceit, and it was doubling up the already considerable amount of stress I was feeling as a result of this entire situation.

  “It’s not really your business, now is it?”

  “Well, excuse me, but I think it fucking might be.” I smashed the button as I pressed send, snarling at the phone, and then, just to drive my point home, I added, “It definitely is, now, because I just found out I’m fucking pregnant. That’s why I stopped by, actually, in case you still wanted to know…”

  He was silent after that.

  I waited. And waited. Tears began to well up in my eyes.

  I hadn’t imagined this going well by any means, but this had been an outright disaster.

  “Ray,” I texted, hoping to apologize, and then again, “RAY!”

  But there was no answer.

  I waited and waited, and then broke down sobbing on the bed, head buried in the pillows, my body feeling as though it was on the verge of falling to pieces.

  And suddenly, I heard a knock on my door, startling me even more than Ray’s first text had done. I sat bolt upright, alarmed, hesitant. I crept slowly to the door, certain I knew who it would be, yet not knowing at all what to expect.

  Sure enough, I opened the door to see Ray standing there, his expression unclear, but serious, to be certain. He stepped inside, and we stared at one another, trying to come up with the words.

  “Is it true?” he asked at last, and when I scowled at him, he amended, “I just mean… Well, are you completely sure it’s mine?”

  “Yes, goddammit! There hasn’t been anyone else… And I wouldn’t be telling you this if I wasn’t sure, now would I?’

  “I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry…” He waved his hands at me, trying to calm me down, and though my nostrils flared angrily at him, still visibly pissed, I managed to avoid snapping at him, and tried to keep my head. “I’m… About… Me, begin married, I… There’s something you have to understand…”

  “Oh, and what might that be?” I asked, getting riled up yet again, and I have to give him credit for remaining as calm as he did despite my almost vicious antagonism.

  “I’ve been miserable, for a long, long time… My wife drives me… Up the wall, honestly, and I just can’t take it.”

  “Of course,” I scoffed, angrier than ever. Matthew’s shifting of all blame to me when we’d broken up now came raging to the forefront in my mind, and I began to jump to the conclusion that all men were simply like this. “Of course, it’s always the woman’s fault when her man gets caught sticking his dick in places where it doesn’t belong…”

  He didn’t say anything in response to this, but gave me a harsh glare, as though to say I didn’t know what the hell I was putting my foot into, and that it would be in my best interest to listen to him before I went and spouted off something I couldn’t take back.

  “No… It isn’t always the woman’s fault… I’ve done more than my fair share of shit over the years, and I won’t pretend otherwise. But Angela, my wife, has had me under her thumb since we were dating as teenagers. She told me she was pregnant when the two of us were eighteen, which was what got me to marry her in the first place. But then she told me she’d been mistaken about it, and I was stuck with her, certain that she’d just made it up out of fear of losing me…”

  I have to admit, I faltered a little bit at this point, my argument feeling weakened, but I persisted. “Well… Well, why the hell don’t you just divorce her, then?”

  “It’s never been that simple,” he said. “She’s very manipulative… She… She has a control over me that I’ve never been able to shake. You can argue that what I do is wrong if you want to, but I do it because I have to… Because I can’t go on thinking she’s all I have to look forward to in life… I just can’t fucking take it…”

  I was silent, now, unwilling to say a word. I could no longer tell how I felt about the situation, what side of the line I stood on. I simply waited for him to continue, and he did, sure enough.

  “To be honest… I’ve actually been thinking about you, a lot, since that night… For what it’s worth, I was happier then than I had been in a long time… I actually really wanted to get in touch with you, before all this, but… Well, it just seemed too impossible to me. Like I was just asking for more pain, trying to start something that could never lead anywhere. I didn’t have the courage to go through with it. But, knowing what I do now, I… Well… I think I needed to hear it… I think I need you…”
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  I blinked at him, stunned, not having expected things to take this course at all. “Wh – what?” I asked, almost certain that I’d misheard him. He stepped closer to me, and I could feel his body heat making me sweat.

  “I know… I know that what I did was… Well, unacceptable… But I’m sorry… I really, deeply am sorry… And if you could forgive me… If you thought there was, deep down, any chance you wanted to be together, to raise our child… I would leave my wife in a heartbeat…”

  My mouth hung open, and I stammered, head spinning, not knowing what to say. I had no reason to trust a word he’d just said to me now… In fact, I had more reason than ever to distrust him, to call bullshit, and to get out of there while I could still have a hope in hell of emotionally detaching myself from him.

  After all I’d been through, it seemed like my cynicism should have won out, and I should have been spurred to kick him out right there on the spot, ejecting him from my life, and moving on with my decisions on my own.

  But I didn’t…

  For whatever reason, I believed him, and now I felt as though I needed him more than ever.

  In spite of myself, in spite of all the vitriol I’d just felt welling up inside me against him, and all the mistrust I had reason to feel against him, I found myself stepping toward him. Peering long, deep, intensely into his eyes, getting lost in them, as I had the night when the two of us had first met.

  And suddenly, almost before I could realize it, the two of us were kissing one another. Our lips melted together, our tongues pushed into one another’s cheeks, and God, it was so wonderful… Our first kiss had been terrific, but this was like another plane of delicacy entirely. I hadn’t realized just how much I’d missed him until that very moment, his flavor, his smell in my nose, everything about him.

  He put his tongue so deep down my throat that I thought I might choke on him, and as we kissed we began to stumble through the house, high on passion, all the way into my bedroom.