Wizard for Hire

by Obert Skye

  “I haven’t harmed anyone.”

  “Excellent. There will be no blabbery. Now, spill the beans before the pig lands.”

  “Is that wizard talk?”

  “No, I ordered the pork omelet. I love breakfast at every meal. That’s something unique to wizards. There’s a property to eggs that helps our intuitiveness.”

  “Really?”

  “Of course. Wizards don’t make a habit of lying. Now tell me, who are you searching for?”

  Ozzy looked around again to make sure the conversation was still private.

  “I’m looking for my aunt and uncle. They disappeared about seven years ago.”

  “Interesting. And your parents don’t know where they are?”

  “No,” Ozzy lied. “They’ve tried to find them but failed. That’s why I’m hoping a wizard might be able to help. I haven’t told them because I don’t want to get their hopes up.”

  “High hopes are a wizard’s creed. That and ‘Undo unto others as you would have others undo to you.’”

  The waitress was back to drop off Rin’s pork omelet.

  “Enchanting,” Rin said as he gazed at it.

  “Thanks,” the waitress said. “I’ll tell the cook. What about you, young man? Can I get you something to eat?”

  The look and smell of the omelet was mesmerizing.

  “I’ll have one of those,” Ozzy said pointing to Rin’s meal.

  “You got it.”

  The waitress walked off and Rin stared proudly at Ozzy.

  “You passed the test.”

  “There was a test?”

  “Yes, and you passed with broom-flying colors. The act of ordering breakfast for dinner is quite wizardly and not just some random happenstance. You would fit in well in Quarfelt.”

  “Quarfelt?”

  “It’s where . . . well, we should wait for that. Let’s focus on you. Tell me more about this missing uncle and aunt.”

  “Their names are Emmitt and Mia Toffy.”

  Rin stopped eating and took out a pen and reading glasses from the front pocket of his robe. He put the glasses on and stole Ozzy’s napkin to write on.

  “Emmitt and Mia Toffy. Excellent.”

  Seeing Rin put on glasses made Ozzy feel even more at ease. Harry Potter had sported specs and he was a wizard.

  “What can you tell me about them?”

  “Well, they were probably in their early thirties when they . . . disappeared. They were both doctors and were living around here.”

  “Their address?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Interesting. In Quarfelt there are no addresses. Just markers.”

  “I wouldn’t know.”

  “Well-worded . . . Wait, I don’t think you’ve given me your name.”

  “Sorry, it’s Ozzy. O-Z-Z-Y.”

  “No need to explain things to me. I have the sight of a wizard. I saw the spelling before you told me.”

  “That’s impressive.”

  “And your last name?” Rin asked.

  “It’s Toffy, like my uncle and aunt.”

  “Like the candy?”

  “No, just a Y and no Es.”

  “Oh. T-O-F-F-Y.”

  “Right.”

  Rin corrected the misspelling on his napkin.

  “Is there any reason why your aunt and uncle would have disappeared? I mean, maybe they want to be lost.”

  “No.”

  “Okay, then I’ll find them.”

  “You will?”

  “Sure. This is what I do. You might be surprised, but reality is no place for a wizard. I’m underappreciated and underutilized here. You would think that the world would put me to work, but they’re all afraid of my power.”

  “So have you always lived here?”

  Rin laughed as if Ozzy was a little kid with no knowledge as to how the world actually worked.

  “No.”

  Ozzy’s omelet came and the wizard and his client spent a few minutes devouring their soft omelets filled with bits of caramelized pork.

  “This is amazing,” Ozzy said.

  “Yeah, it’s called the Eggy Oinker. I’m not a big fan of the name.”

  “I agree.”

  Once they were finished, the waitress took their empty plates and refilled their glasses.

  “So how does this work?” Ozzy said as soon as she was gone. “Does it take a long time? Do I pay you now? Do I help?”

  “No, no, and yes, but not in that order.”

  “So it doesn’t take a long time, I don’t have to pay you now, and you don’t need my help?” Ozzy guessed.

  “No—it could take a long time, I need some money up front, and I might need your help.”

  “That’s no, yes, no.”

  “It’d make sense if you were a wizard.”

  “So how much up front?”

  “Let’s just have you pay for this meal.”

  “Okay.”

  “Then I’ll disappear for a while and when the quest is complete, you’ll hear from me.”

  “How?”

  “Do you have a phone?”

  “No.”

  “An owl?”

  “No.”

  “It would really help if you had an owl.”

  “I might have something even better,” Ozzy said.

  “I’m listening,” the wizard said with a smile.

  Ozzy looked around and then reached inside his hoodie pocket and carefully pulled out Clark.

  “Whoa,” Rin said, leaning in to examine Clark closely.

  Clark was on the table, shielded by Ozzy’s arms so that nobody else could see him. Clark spread his wings and fluttered his tin tail. He cocked his head to both sides and then tapped the table with his gold beak.

  “Is that one of those drone things?”

  “No, this is Clark.”

  “Is he remote-controlled?”

  “No, I am not,” Clark said. “You’d think a wizard would know that.”

  Rin looked excited.

  “You’d think so, but you, my friend are a surprise and most definitely not an owl.”

  “Those mice eaters? I’m a raven.”

  “And he thinks for himself?” Rin asked.

  “Yes, I do.”

  “You are much more wizard than I gave you credit for, Ozzy.”

  “That’s what he wishes,” Clark said. “But he’s having a difficult time figuring out his ability.”

  “It’ll surface eventually,” Rin said, never taking his eyes off Clark.

  “Do we have a deal?” Ozzy asked. “I’ll pay for your meal and you’ll find my aunt and uncle. We can communicate through Clark.”

  “How will he know where I am?”

  “He’s an excellent tracker. We can set up places for him to meet you.”

  “I like this. Let’s have him meet with me behind the McDonald’s tomorrow at two. I should know more then.”

  “Okay. Either my bird or both of us will be there.”

  The waitress was coming back over, so Ozzy scooted Clark off the table and onto the bench with his arm.

  “Will there be anything else, Rin?” she asked.

  “No, not today. But, as always, let me leave you with some advice.”

  “Of course,” the waitress said, fully accustomed to Rin’s ways.

  “If tomorrow you find happiness, don’t forget the sorrow that brought you there.”

  “I won’t.”

  “More than fair. My work is done here. The boy will get the check.”

  Rin scooted over to get out of the booth. He stood up and Ozzy was reminded of just how tall he was. The wizard was at least six foot three and the off-white robe he wore looked shorter than most any respectable wiza
rd would be caught dead in. His shoes were well-worn red high-tops with writing all over them. Rin waved his arms over the table and then departed.

  The waitress left the check on the table and Ozzy put some money down on top of it.

  “Is fifty dollars a good tip?” he asked Clark.

  “Seems a little cheap.”

  Ozzy left some more.

  As soon as he was out of the restaurant and back in the safety of the trees, Clark came out of his pocket and flew alongside.

  “So,” Clark said. “Your thoughts?”

  “I’m not sure. He sort of seems like a wizard. I think it just feels good to know that someone else might be looking for my parents.”

  “You know what else would feel good?”

  Ozzy shook his head.

  “If you got a charger and we could go back and watch some movies on that tablet.”

  “That would be good.”

  Ozzy made his way to Volts and bought a more expensive charger that used solar energy to store power.

  Clark was beyond excited by the purchase. Not only would he get to watch bird movies but there would now be another piece of equipment like him at the cloaked house.

  “Three against one.”

  “Three?”

  “Me, the charger, and the cassette player all feed off the sun.”

  “And you guys are against me?”

  “It’s a figure of beak.”

  “Right.”

  They left the streets of Otter Rock and let the forest swallow them up completely.

  By the time Ozzy and Clark returned to the cloaked house, it was dusk, too dark outside to use the charger. Ozzy needed to light four candles just to make sure there was enough light to keep Clark charged. They sat on the porch staring up at the few visible stars.

  “So do you think Mr. Wizard will find your parents?”

  “I don’t know. He seems a little off.”

  “He’s a wizard. They’re all nuts.”

  “Have you met one before?” Ozzy asked.

  “No, but based on him that’s a pretty good assumption. I’m actually just trying to say things that I think will help you feel better.”

  Their thoughts were interrupted by the sound of something thrashing around in the forest. Both Ozzy and Clark’s heads jerked around to look towards the noise.

  “Blow out the light,” Clark whispered.

  Ozzy did.

  “I don’t see anything,” he whispered.

  “Is it one of those deer things?”

  “It could be a fox,” Ozzy said. “Or some other animal. Come on.”

  Ozzy moved down the porch steps and toward the trees. Pressing his body up against a tall oak, he listened for any noise. They could hear some more thrashing and grunting.

  “Animals,” Clark said. “They have no sense of propriety or proper behavior. Do you know I once saw a fox defecating into the stream? Come on, that’s disgusting.”

  “Shhh.”

  Ozzy knew it could be an animal. After all, the forest was filled with them. But tonight felt different. His guard was up due to his current circumstances.

  “Listen,” Clark said. “I—”

  “What?”

  Clark, out of juice, shut down. The day hadn’t been sunny enough to keep him charged any longer. He dropped from Ozzy’s shoulder and fell to the ground. The boy quickly picked him up and put him in his hoodie pocket.

  There was something thrashing in the dark, followed by a strange voice swearing. It wasn’t an unfamiliar voice—just strange.

  “Labyrinth?”

  Ozzy moved closer to the swearing. Ten steps later he could see Rin kicking at some moss and trying to find the shoe that had come off. Ozzy stayed back at a safe distance and spoke.

  “Rin? What are you doing here?”

  The wizard jumped. “Ozzy—you scared the spell out of me. I got tangled up in this brush and fell down. Now I can’t find my shoe.”

  “Sorry, but what are you doing here? How did you know I’d be out here?”

  “A wizard knows all. Also, I followed you from the restaurant. Sorry if that’s weird, but a person doesn’t meet a boy with a talking metal bird every day.”

  “You followed us?” Ozzy said.

  “Yeah, before becoming a wizard I was an Eagle Scout.”

  “I have no idea what that is.”

  “It’s something my mom earned for me. What it means is that not only can I sew and make toy cars, I can find my way in the woods. Which, by the way, is a helpful skill for wizards. You’d be surprised how many times it’s up to me to guide my wizard pals through Quarfelt.”

  Ozzy looked around at the dark night.

  “I’m not really sure how I feel about you being here. If my parents find out, you’ll be in trouble.”

  “Right. I understand. The idea seemed good on paper, but in execution it has its flaws.”

  “I don’t think it looks good on paper or in execution.”

  “Ah, there it is.” Rin located his shoe and slipped it onto his foot. “You have to understand, as a wizard you can’t be too careful. Those boys at Walmart would love to trick me into believing in metal birds and then making a fool out of myself.”

  “What actually happened at Walmart? It must have been horrible.”

  “I don’t want to talk about it.”

  “That’s fine. But you should go.”

  “Okay—to be honest, when I started following you, I thought you’d walk to some place on the outskirts of town. But then you just kept walking and walking. I considered turning around a few times but I wasn’t sure I’d find my way back. Now, though, I know I’d better wait for daylight before I try to get back. Do you mind if I just sleep here on the ground until things light up?”

  “How about I lead you back?”

  “Even better.”

  Ozzy circled around Rin until he was a good ten feet in front of him.

  “Come on, follow me.”

  “How can you see in this dark?”

  “Easy. I grew up in it.”

  “That’s a great ability.”

  “Really? I guess I’ve never thought of it that way.”

  They started walking, Ozzy always keeping ten steps ahead of the wizard.

  “And you live out here?”

  “That’s not important.”

  “Really? Because I think it is. Are you sure you’re not a wizard?”

  “Pretty sure.”

  “Listen, if your family is out here doing something illegal, like making moonshine or fireworks, I want no part of it.”

  “We’re not.”

  “Then why?”

  “Again—it’s not important.”

  “Fine, fine. Then answer me this: does the reason you live out here have anything to do with your aunt and uncle disappearing?”

  Ozzy stopped. Rin did the same.

  “They were last seen in this area.”

  “Interesting. In Quarfelt we always consider the last spot anyone is seen as sacred. So this is sacred ground.”

  “It’s also the stuff of nightmares,” Ozzy said, beginning to walk again. “And what is Quarfelt?”

  “Most people aren’t ready to hear about it, but since you live like a wizard, I feel I can trust you. Quarfelt is a place not far from here where all wizards live.”

  “Really? Like an apartment building?”

  Rin laughed. “No, not at all. It an entire land that fits neatly in the cracks and shadows of reality. It’s right around you and me now. We just can’t see it because our minds are cloudy.”

  “Like Hogwarts?” Ozzy asked with some enthusiasm.

  “I suppose,” Rin said, “if that helps you understand. It’s a remarkable place, a breeding ground for wizards, and I was fortunate
to spend almost ten years there.”

  “What brought you back?”

  “It was time,” Rin said with a sense of finality and pain.

  “Time for what?”

  “I don’t think this is the place to discuss it,” Rin said, trying to keep up.

  “I think that the forest where you followed me is the perfect place to discuss it.”

  “Fine. Something bad happened in Quarfelt. Let’s just say that I didn’t finish a quest of great importance. And so now I’m here.”

  “Will you be able to finish my quest?”

  “Of course. This is reality.”

  “How do you get to Quarfelt?”

  “When the time is right you just see it. One day, I was working on computers in my garage and suddenly there it was—an unknown silhouette of mountains and forest right outside my home. I stepped into the foggy image and my life changed forever.”

  “Were you trapped in there?”

  “No, once you step in, you have no desire to be anywhere else. It was as if I had struggled my whole life to know my purpose and in an instant, not only did I know, but I was engaged in achieving it.”

  “Brilliant,” Ozzy whispered.

  “Well put. Quarfelt is brilliant.”

  Rin stumbled and quickly regained his footing.

  “You walk this far every time you come to town?”

  “Yes,” Ozzy said, turning his head to look back at Rin.

  “Is there a road to your house somewhere?”

  “That’s not important.”

  “I think it is, because if there isn’t, how do you get groceries or anything else to your place?”

  “We manage.”

  “Wow. Would you like me to do a spell of stone and rubble? Maybe get you a nice path from your house to . . . anywhere?”

  “No. Please don’t.”

  “Fine—just know that I’m capable of it.”

  “Okay. So . . . will you ever go back to Quarfelt?”

  “I hope so. As a wizard, it’s my home. But I have things to finish here.”

  “Like what?”

  “Who knows? Clear communication is not something wizards excel at.”

  The two kept walking. Rin stumbled again.

  “This is one of the reasons why I wear a short robe,” he said. “Have you ever tried walking through a forest—or the valley of death and light—in a long robe? Just awful. It’s like a cape; it’s no good in an epic battle. Sure, there are some traditional wizards who refuse to go short, but to me it makes much more sense.”