Wizard for Hire

by Obert Skye

  Ozzy kept walking.

  “Okay, yes. The long robe looks cooler, but is being a wizard just about the looks?”

  Ozzy kept quiet.

  “Anyhow,” Rin said. “There are a few more things I would like to say about our quest.”

  “You mean our quest to lead you back to town?”

  “No, the quest to find your relatives. You know, sometimes the answers we seek are more painful than the longing we feel.”

  Ozzy didn’t reply.

  “I read that on a billboard,” Rin finally said. “Not that I wouldn’t have known it without the billboard. Something that people don’t think about is just how wise wizards are. Quarfelt is filled with sage advice and wise souls.”

  “I’ve always thought wizards were really smart.”

  “Thanks, Ozzy. My point is, your relatives disappeared for a reason. It might not be a good reason, or a happy reason, but some brushstroke of reality painted them into a mystery—and not all mysteries end up well.”

  “I understand,” Ozzy said. “Can I ask you something?”

  “Of course.”

  “I don’t know anybody’s life besides mine. To me, reality is a deep dark that I have to fight every day to make something beautiful and safe. But always, when the night comes and my brain whirrs, the black comes back. I know that the answer to this quest might be sordid and heavy, but I think knowing will make the rest of my life more hopeful and the darkness less intense.”

  “Wow, that could be on a billboard. Your family must really miss your aunt and uncle.”

  The sorrow Ozzy felt from the absence of his parents made it too difficult to keep talking. Rin said a few more things, but eventually they arrived at a point in the forest where Rin knew where he was and how to get home the rest of the way by himself.

  “You got it from here?” Ozzy asked.

  “Got it. Thanks again, and I’ll see your bird tomorrow at two?”

  “I’ll probably be there as well.”

  “Good. Then I’m going home to work on the magic right now.”

  Rin walked off and Ozzy immediately turned and went back the direction he had just come.

  From the Tapes of Dr. Emmitt Toffy: Subject #3

  Timsby

  The weather in New York was mild, like a tepid soup with no seasoning. The zoo was filled with people who were interested in not being indoors at the moment—families with strollers, elderly couples with walkers, and everybody in between. The crowds were larger than usual due to the fact that today was the first day the new polar bear cub, named Winnie, would be on display. The community, it appeared, was itching to set their eyes on the young wonder.

  Everyone crowded around the large outdoor display staring at the mother as she played with her cub. The oohs and aahs of the audience were audible and loud. Children pointed, parents smiled, and the zoo employees looked on as if they had personally had something to do with the birth of the bear.

  A low wall surrounded the polar bear display. Behind the wall was a long line of shrubs, and on the other side of the shrubs was a shallow moat that kept everyone just the right distance from the mother polar bear and her newborn baby.

  Timsby had come to the zoo with his wife. They were both taking the day off to see the cub, and had walked hand in hand through the zoo gates, hand in hand through the zoo, and hand and hand as they stared at Winnie.

  But the handholding stopped when Timsby let go and pushed his way through the crowd to the wall.

  “Honey?” his wife called out. “Where are you going?”

  Timsby walked right up to the wall and in one smooth motion vaulted over it. The crowd’s oohs and ahhhs changed to ohhs and noos. Timsby pushed his way through the scratchy shrubs.

  “Get back from there, sir!” one of the zookeepers yelled.

  But it was too late. Timsby leaped down into the shallow moat. His splashing caused the mother polar bear to take notice. The zookeepers panicked as Timsby’s wife screamed.

  Timsby stood up in the water and began to walk toward the bears.

  Before he could get to them, four zookeepers entered the enclosure from the door. Two began to distract the mother bear while the other two successfully grabbed Timsby.

  Miraculously he was hauled out without further injury or incident. He was taken to the police station two miles away and questioned for an hour.

  Timsby had never done anything like that. He was a prominent member of the community with ties to multiple charities and associations. He was on no medication and had never been treated for any instability. He also had no recollection of—or excuse for—what he had done.

  He was released into his wife’s care and given a court date, then eventually fined and ordered to perform community service.

  “So what is this place?” Clark asked. “It smells funny.”

  “You can’t smell, I thought.”

  “No, I can’t, but it looks like it smells funny.”

  “It’s McDonald’s, and it looks that way because we’re hiding behind the dumpster. I’m sure it’s nice inside.”

  “Have you been in there?”

  “No, but there’s a coupon in the ORVG for a half-price Big Mac.”

  “What’s that?”

  “I’m not sure.”

  “Still, half off is hard to ignore. Why don’t we go inside?”

  “I told the wizard you’d meet him out here. Besides, I still need to make sure it’s not a trap.”

  “Wow. Who do you think you are, Oz?”

  “I’m not saying that I’m important enough to set a trap for, but I can’t be too careful. What if Rin’s just an undercover cop?”

  “Then why hasn’t he already arrested you? Trust me . . . he seems like a wizard. That man couldn’t be anything else. Can you picture him as a dentist?”

  “Not really.”

  “What is a dentist, anyway?” Clark asked.

  “They work on people’s teeth.”

  “What a weird species you all are.”

  “I wonder if Rin will even show up.”

  “You thinking he just used you for that free Eggy Oinker?”

  “I hope not,” Ozzy said.

  “You’re still not convinced that wizards are real, are you?” Clark asked.

  “I don’t know. What I need is for him to find my parents so that I can ask them those kinds of stupid questions.”

  The white compact car they had seen before pulled into the parking lot. It had two doors and a blue stripe that ran all the way around it. Rin was driving. He spotted Ozzy and pulled into an empty parking space next to the dumpster.

  “Hello,” he hollered though the open car window. “You both showed up.”

  Rin turned off his car and stepped out.

  “I wasn’t sure if you would. I even brought some birdseed in case it was just me and the bird.”

  Clark was flattered.

  “He can’t eat,” Ozzy informed him.

  “I can chew.”

  “Good. Now, let’s sit down so I can tell you what I’ve found.”

  The three of them moved to the McDonald’s outdoor patio. Ozzy was so excited by the possibility of what Rin may have found he couldn’t sit down. He stood next to the table and bounced on his toes.

  “First off, did you know that your aunt and uncle lived in New York right before they moved here?”

  “Yes,” Ozzy said.

  “And that he was an inventor and scientist and she was a psychologist?”

  “Yes. I think I told you all of that,” Ozzy said and begin to feel a little less excited.

  “Well, look at this.” Rin pulled out a piece of white paper from his bag. It was a picture of Ozzy’s parents when they were young and still in New York.

  “Wow,” Ozzy said in awe.

  He ha
d seen a lot of pictures of his mom and dad. There had been a few different photo albums inside boxes at the cloaked house and there were other framed pictures sitting on the fireplace mantel. But Ozzy had never seen the picture Rin was holding.

  “Where did you get this?”

  “Conjured it up.”

  “From where?”

  “It was taken by the university your mother and father worked at just before you were born.”

  Ozzy tried not to look shocked at what Rin had said. Clark didn’t try at all.

  “Uh-oh,” the bird said.

  Ozzy backed up, trying to decide if he should bolt.

  “Listen,” Rin said. “I’m not going to chase after you if you run, but before you do, I just want to ask you a couple of questions.”

  Rin’s sincere expression helped Ozzy decide to at least hear him out.

  “It appears that a while ago, Emmitt and Mia Toffy mysteriously left their home in New York—and nobody has heard from them since. There was some investigation done in the New York area, but no clues were found as to their whereabouts. It seems that the only person in the world who knows where they went is you.”

  The color from Ozzy’s face disappeared and a new pale took its place.

  “You also said that they’ve been missing for more than seven years,” Rin continued. “If that’s the case, have you been living by yourself all of these years?”

  Ozzy could feel his emotions beginning to push up into the pale. This was not at all how he had envisioned this meeting going.

  “Listen,” Clark spoke up. “You don’t know anything. I mean, you obviously know a lot, but that doesn’t mean you can just go saying things.”

  “Is it true?” Rin asked. “Have you been living alone since you were six?”

  “Seven,” Ozzy said softly.

  “I am so sorry.”

  “You should be, digging your beak into someone else’s family business,” Clark squawked.

  “So how old are you now?” Rin asked.

  “Fourteen, I think.”

  “Wow. This is a moment when even a wizard’s wisdom is inadequate.”

  Ozzy was shocked, but he was equally surprised by the rush of relief he felt knowing that someone else knew the truth.

  “How does a seven-year-old survive on his own?”

  “I had no choice. I didn’t know what else to do. It wasn’t easy or fun, and I don’t remember all of it now, but I do remember the terrifying feeling of being alone and scared and desperate. Actually, it wasn’t until I discovered Clark that I began to have any semblance of comfort.”

  “Birds make excellent companions,” Clark said.

  Ozzy tapped Clark on his head affectionately. “What are you going to do? Are you going to turn me in?”

  “For what?” the wizard asked. “I don’t see anyone who needs to be turned in—I see a resourceful person who has survived something incredible. You are more than you imagine and no less than remarkable. Here’s what we’re going to do. We’re going to find your parents. The only thing I ask is that from this point we are completely honest with one another.”

  “Deal.”

  “You must know, Ozzy, that to a wizard honesty is everything. And if we have to lie, we couch it in a riddle.”

  “Fine,” Clark said. “If we’re all confessing, I want you to know that I think that trash can over there is nice looking.”

  The trash can Clark was talking about was a big red metal one with a face painted on it. Ozzy shook his head with embarrassment.

  “Sorry—Clark sort of gets funny crushes on anything bird-related—or made of metal.”

  “‘Sort of’?” Clark said with disgust. “This could be a grown-up relationship.”

  “It’s a trash can.”

  “Don’t tell me who to love.”

  “You two really are lucky to have each other,” Rin said. “You’re like siblings.”

  “I’m older,” Clark pointed out. “I was built before Ozzy was even born.”

  Ozzy tapped Clark on the head once more. Rin smiled at the exchange and then let his expression grow somber.

  “Listen, Ozzy, I feel like now would be a good time to remind you of what I said yesterday. You know . . . the answer we might find could be something less than what you want. But with all you’ve survived, I think you understand that what lies ahead could end up with you being smothered in hurt.”

  “It’s still an answer, and from there anything’s possible.”

  “Well then, let me return to my cauldron and give these things a chance to simmer. By tomorrow I’ll know where we must step next.”

  “And you promise you’re not just setting me up to turn me in?”

  Rin looked deathly serious.

  “Quarfelt has taught me more than I can ever convey, but there is a loyalty that comes with fighting for the right thing. Our quest is as noble as almost any I have ever journeyed on. I might be a wizard that you look up to, but I am your companion now, and I won’t rest until you have the answer you so desperately seek. Also, I kind of have this thing against helping the police too much.”

  “Thank you.”

  “There will still be a charge, of course, but I’ll bill you by the quest and not by the hour.”

  “Fair enough.”

  “I prefer people say, ‘More than fair,’” Rin said.

  “Well then, that’s more than fair.”

  “Hey,” Clark said seriously, still staring at the painted trash can, “you know, I’m surprising myself, but I think I might be ready for a real relationship.”

  “Stop thinking about that trash can,” Ozzy pleaded.

  “Let’s meet up tomorrow,” Rin said. “Four o’clock at Bites. I know it’s not Thursday, but I think that’s a safe place to meet.”

  “I’ll be there,” Ozzy said. “Wait—were we going to get something to eat?”

  They went inside and Rin taught Ozzy how to order off the McDonald’s secret menu. To Ozzy, it seemed like something only a wizard would know. They both got ­sausage McMuffins with three patties and hash browns sprinkled with cheese. To finish off the teaching moment, Rin let Ozzy pay for it all to show him how currency worked.

  Then, to make Clark happy, they took their food back outside and ate it on the table next to the trash can.

  Ozzy wrestled with new feelings the entire hike home. It was exhilarating to know that Labyrinth was on his side. Not everyone had a wizard in their corner. It was scary to think that they might find answers, but the deepest dark came when Ozzy let hope creep into his soul. He knew all too well that some things, no matter how hard one hopes, never come to pass.

  “You okay?” Clark asked as they entered the cloaked house.

  “Fine. Actually, better than fine. The charger should work now.”

  Ozzy moved through the boxes and climbed the starry staircase up to his attic room. He popped open the round window on the dormer and climbed out onto the crooked overgrown roof to retrieve the charger. Ozzy had left it in a spot that would receive the most sun.

  “Well?” Clark asked, having flown up from the outside.

  “One hundred percent charged.”

  Ozzy climbed back in the window and sat on his bed. The afternoon sun spilled its wares in through the window and lit up the dark walls of the attic bedroom nicely.

  Ozzy pulled the tablet out from under his bed and plugged it into the portable charger.

  “How long do we wait?”

  “How about now?”

  He turned the computer tablet on and it came to life like a futuristic piece of machinery in the home of a woodland elf. The glow from the screen caused Clark to smile.

  “I like this thing.”

  “No cheating on the trash can,” Ozzy joked.

  Ozzy opened the browser and typed in
<
br />   Bird pictures

  It took a moment, but then, like a rainbow bursting into the room, thousands of bird pictures filled the screen.

  Clark’s small eyes bulged.

  “Wow. You’ve got to buy a printer so we can print some of those out and hang them in my room.”

  “You have a room?”

  “Yeah—the downstairs. Which I’ve been meaning to talk to you about. Are we just going to leave things in boxes forever? Your parents probably didn’t move all those in here just to leave them sitting around.”

  Talk of boxes reminded Ozzy of Clark asking once about how all the things in the cloaked house had actually gotten there. He quickly typed in

  Moving company Otter Rock Oregon

  Two different names came up:

  U-Haul Storage and Moving

  Doyle and Sons Moving

  “Somebody had to deliver all of these boxes,” Ozzy said. “Maybe one of these places has a record of my parents moving here.”

  “Um, that was my idea, remember.”

  Ozzy clicked on the link for the U-Haul store and saw that it had only been open for three years.

  “U-Haul’s out.”

  He went to the Doyle and Sons website next. On the landing page in big letters it read:

  Established in 1970

  Ozzy wrote down the name and phone number for the business. Then he shifted his search to his parents. He typed in their names and pressed Enter. A few more entries popped up than at school.

  “There must be a different filter out here.”

  “I have no idea what that means,” Clark admitted.

  “It means you can see more birds and do a more thorough search. Look at this.”

  Ozzy pointed to a mention of his mother in a book about psychology. It also had a quote from her.

  “There is more to the human mind than synapses and contemplation. There are switches that exist, switches that can change emotions, thoughts, and even actions. Once we establish those connections, we can control ourselves in ways we never thought possible. Compulsive behavior will be a thing of the past.”