I Can't Let Go

by Chenell Parker

  “Hell no Val. I’m not feeling him right now,” Kimora said as she tried to walk away.

  “Come here and stop being childish man,” Tino said as he pulled her into the room and locked the door once his mother left.

  “That’s what I’m supposed to do. I’m a child, remember?” Kimora snapped, throwing his words from earlier right back at him.

  “I’m sorry about that but I was mad,” Tino said as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

  “Okay, well, I’m mad now and I’m not fucking with you no more,” Kimora said as she tried to push him away.

  “Who was that nigga who was all up in your face?” Tino asked.

  “He probably would have been my man by now if you hadn’t sent Val to interrupt,” Kimora fussed as she pulled away from him.

  “Fuck that nigga!” Tino snapped as he pulled her back and pressed his lips up to hers.

  Kimora was shocked but she didn’t try to stop him. When he slipped his tongue into her mouth, Kimora wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back. Tino palmed her ass as he walked them over to the bed in the room that was once his. Kimora gasped when he pushed her down on the bed and climbed in between her legs. She was nervous and she now regretted asking him to kiss her earlier that day. She didn’t know if she was ready to lose her virginity just yet.

  “Tino, wait,” Kimora said as she put her hand on his chest to stop him. “I’m not ready.”

  “I’m not ready either,” he replied as he pecked her lips again.

  When he kissed down her body, Kimora closed her eyes and enjoyed the feel of his soft lips on her exposed flesh. When he pulled her bikini bottoms off, her eyes popped open and she tried to scoot away.

  “Relax and stop running,” Tino said as he spread her legs wide.

  “Oh shit,” Kimora moaned when his tongue lightly touched her clit.

  She arched her back and grabbed the back of his head. She rotated her hips as his tongue moved up and down her honeypot. Tino’s head was moving from side to side rapidly as Kimora bit her bottom lip to keep from crying out in ecstasy. Her body was feeling things that she’d never felt before and she realized just how horrible Bryson’s oral sex game really was. Tino was a beast and Kimora could no longer keep quiet. Tino was moaning just as much as she was and he seemed to be enjoying pleasing her. When he pushed her legs up on each side of her head, Kimora didn’t even realize that she was so flexible. Tino was eating her up like he was trying to prove a point and she was enjoying every minute of it.

  “Ughh! Fuck!” Kimora yelled when he started working his tongue in and out of her vaginal hole. Kimora felt high and she hadn’t had anything to drink or smoke. She was on a natural high and she had never felt so good in her life.

  “Tell that nigga to move the fuck around,” Tino growled once he came up for air.

  His face and beard were wet with her juices and he looked even sexier than he did before. Kimora nodded her head, too spent to even reply. She watched as Tino sat up on his knees, elevating her bottom half with him. Kimora gripped the sheets tight as he began to devour her once again. After a few minutes, he flipped her over onto her stomach and pushed her face into the mattress. Kimora had the perfect arch in her back as he slowly started licking her from behind.

  “Oh shit,” Kimora hissed when he started running his tongue around her anal hole. His tongue stiffened as he tongued her asshole while working his fingers inside of her. Before long, his entire face was buried in her ass as his fingers worked in and out of her kitty. Kimora was no longer moaning. She was screaming and begging him not to stop. She lost count of how many times she came but the clock on the wall let her know that he had been at it for almost thirty minutes. Tino alternated positions and ended with her sitting on his face. When he was finally done, Kimora was too spent to move. He laughed at her sprawled out on his bed as he walked into the bathroom and got a towel. After cleaning her up, Tino went into the bathroom to get himself together. His beard was soaking wet, so he grabbed some of the liquid soap that his mother kept in the cabinet and washed his entire face.

  “The fuck is really going on. Got a nigga out here eating ass and everything now. I’m trippin’ hard as fuck,” Tino chastised himself as he looked at his reflection in the mirror. That was a first for him but he would be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy it. Kimora was doing something to him and he couldn’t figure out what it was. He wasn’t opposed to oral sex but he would probably never get into heaven with some of the shit that he’d just done to her. Still, he didn’t regret it and he was ready to do it again. Miko would probably kill him if she knew what he’d just done, but he couldn’t help it. Kimora was slipping away from him and he couldn’t let that happen. He still kept his word because he didn’t have sex with her. The shit was getting harder but he knew that it was gonna be worth it.

  Once he was done in the bathroom, he walked back into the room and saw Kimora sitting on the side of the bed. She had put her bottoms back on but she was just staring off into space.

  “I better get back downstairs before Autumn starts looking for me,” Kimora said as she stood up.

  “Stay away from that nigga Kimora and I’m serious,” Tino said as he looked down at her.

  “No,” Kimora replied.

  “No? The fuck you mean, no!” he yelled angrily.

  “Just what I said. You got a girl and I can’t ask you to stay away from her. Don’t expect what you’re not willing to give,” Kimora replied, reminding him of how wise she was for her age.

  “Whenever I’m around you, I will,” Tino said.

  “Yeah, right.” Kimora frowned skeptically.

  “I will, I promise. I’ll respect you and I need you to do the same. Just wait for me Kimora, please,” Tino begged.

  “Wait for what?” Kimora asked him.

  “Wait for me to come get you. I want you and I don’t want nobody else to have you. Them lil niggas ain’t shit. Whatever you need, I got you,” Tino swore.

  “You’re confusing me Santino,” Kimora said, letting him know that she was upset or annoyed. That was the only time that she called him by his full name.

  “I’m not trying to confuse you, baby, but I need you to wait for me. Promise me,” he said.

  Kimora felt like shit but she didn’t know why. Tino wasn’t her man but the guilt from what she’d done with Bryson earlier was eating at her. It was a wet, sloppy mess compared to what Tino had just done but it still happened.

  “Promise me Kimora,” Tino said again, pulling her away from her thoughts.

  “I promise,” Kimora replied, making him visibly relax. She decided that her one slip up with Bryson was going with her to the grave. Tino smiled as he walked closer to her. He grabbed both sides of her face and just stared at her for a while. He made her feel weird but he was holding her face in his hands, making it hard to look away. She loved him and that scared the hell out of her. She was in love with another woman’s man and that was a recipe for disaster.

  “Give me a kiss,” Tino said as he bent down and pressed his lips to hers. He and Kimora engaged in a passionate kiss that he never wanted to end. When she pulled away, he pecked her lips again before walking to the door.

  As soon as they headed downstairs, they heard all the loud music and people in the backyard. As soon as Tino and Kimora stepped outside, he saw his cousin, Ramon, laughing and pointing them out to Venus and Bryson. Ramon was laughing hard but Bryson and Venus looked pissed. She got up from her seat and started walking over to them. Tino was keeping his word, so he started walking in the opposite direction. He was on a mission. He wanted to know who the lil nigga was that Kimora was talking to and who he came there with. More than likely, one of his cousins had invited him and he wanted to make sure that it never happened again. Tino scanned the backyard until his eyes landed on exactly who he was looking for. He was heated when he followed the man’s line of vision and saw that he was staring at Kimora. They had foam all over the place but that didn’t stop Tino from w
alking a little faster. Val smiled when she saw him heading her way, but he didn’t look too happy. When she saw what he was focused on, she grabbed his arm to stop him.

  “Relax Santino. This is you and Kimora’s day. No bullshit; not today,” Val said.

  “I just want to know who invited his ass,” Tino fumed.

  “Never mind that baby. Go eat and enjoy your guests,” Val said as she kissed his cheek to calm him down. She’d seen the other man flirting with Kimora all day and she knew that’s what had her son so upset. Val knew that Tino really liked Kimora but she didn’t know what he was doing. He and Kimora were always doing something together but he was still with Venus.

  “Let’s smoke something cousin,” Dirty said as he and Ronald walked over to him with a blunt. Tino took the blunt that was being offered and took a long pull. He could tell that Venus was in her feelings but he didn’t give a fuck. She was sitting over there talking to Bryson and Ramon but the frown on her face said it all.

  After a few more hours of partying, Val came out of the house rolling a cart with a huge three-tier cake on it. Most of the foam had disappeared and Ced was using a hose to get rid of the rest. Val yelled for Tino and Kimora to come over as everyone stood around singing happy birthday to them. She had both their names on the cake and that was something else that Venus was going to cry about.

  “Okay guys, make a wish and blow out the candles!” Val yelled as she looked at Tino and Kimora.

  “You already know what I’m wishing for and you better make it come true,” Tino whispered as he looked over at Kimora. One more year, he thought, as they blew out the candles together.

  K imora sat there and listened as her father ranted and raved about everything under the sun. Her little brother, Al, looked pissed as their mother rubbed her temples, probably ready to fake yet another headache to shut her husband up.

  “You’re gonna stay here and ruin your life,” Alvin argued as he looked over at Kimora.

  “Okay and it’s my life to ruin,” Kimora flippantly replied.

  “It was bad enough that you were running around with that juvenile delinquent, Princeton. Now, you’ve gone even further and started running around with the Mexican cartel,” Alvin said, making her laugh. He was always referring to Tino and his family as the cartel but they were far from it. From the first day they met, her father decided that he didn’t like him but Tino didn’t care.

  “Tino is not a part of a cartel. Who even told you that?” Kimora snickered.

  “I don’t find a damn thing funny about that. You and I both know that there are only two ways out of that lifestyle. I can’t believe that you’re willing to throw your life away behind that low life and he’s not even your boyfriend. You need to pack your stuff and move to Indiana right with us,” Alvin demanded.

  After years of making idle threats, her father had finally made good on his word. He accepted a job in Carmel, Indiana as a detective and he was ecstatic. The pay was great and he was ready for a change. Kimora could tell that her mother didn’t really want to go but she was being a good wife and following her husband’s lead. Al cried when he found out but he really didn’t have a choice in the matter. He was still a minor and their father would have never let him stay with Kimiko like he was begging him to.

  “I’m sorry daddy but I don’t want to move somewhere where I don’t know anything or anybody. Besides, I’m in school now,” Kimora reminded him. She was one year shy of getting her associate degree in paralegal studies and she was thinking hard about going back for her bachelors. Once she looked over all the programs that the college was offering, that was the only one that intrigued her.

  “They have schools in Indiana Ki-Ki. Stop making excuses,” Alvin fussed.

  “I’m not making any excuses. I just don’t want to go,” Kimora replied. She was a few hours away from her eighteenth birthday, so there was nothing that he could do about it.

  “Fine but I’d like to know where you plan to live. This house is going on the market, so you better hurry up and figure it out,” Alvin warned.

  “I can stay with Miko or Prince,” Kimora replied.

  “You’re just determined to throw your life away, aren’t you? After all that I’ve tried to do for you and this is the thanks I get. Don’t call me when shit gets bad for you. I offered you a way out but you’re too stupid to take it,” Alvin fumed.

  “That’s enough! All this damn bickering has given me a headache,” Renita said as she continued to massage her temples.

  “Fuck it then. We’ll be out of here in two weeks. You can just consider yourself homeless if shit doesn’t work out like you want it to,” Alvin barked as he grabbed his keys from the counter and walked out of the front door. Kimora loved her father dearly but he was one of the most selfish people that she’d ever encountered. If it wasn’t about him, he didn’t care.

  “Man, I don’t want to move to no Indiana. I’ve never even heard of Carmel before,” Al complained.

  “Let’s just keep an open mind about this Albert. You never know, we might grow to love it,” Nita said as she smiled at her youngest child.

  “I can’t wait until I’m old enough to move out!” Al yelled angrily. He wasn’t trying to hear anything that his mother was saying. He jumped up from his chair and stormed to his bedroom, slamming the door behind him.

  “Are you sure about staying here Kimora? You know how much I worry about you and Kimiko. It’s only gonna be worse since we’ll be living so far away,” Nita said.

  “I’ll be fine ma. Getting away from your husband is all the motivation I need to finish school and find a good job,” Kimora replied as she read a message that Prince had just sent her. He was almost there and she couldn’t wait to leave.

  “Let me go talk to your brother. This move is gonna be so hard on him,” Nita sighed as she stood to her feet. It was gonna be hard on her too but she would make do. She worked for herself doing medical coding and billing and she could do that from anywhere as long as she had a computer.

  “I’m about to go by Prince. I’m not in the mood to be arguing with your husband all night,” Kimora replied.

  “I’m proud of you, Kimora. Your father is always so busy dwelling on the negative things that he rarely takes the time out to focus of what y’all are doing right,” Nita said.

  “Thanks Ma and I promise to come visit you as often as I can,” Kimora swore.

  “I know you will baby. And I know that I’m a little early but happy eighteenth.” Nita smiled.

  “Thanks. I’ll see you later,” Kimora said as she kissed her cheek and headed for the front door. Her timing was perfect because Prince had just pulled up when she walked outside.

  “What’s up sis?” Prince spoke when she got into the car.

  “Nothing.” Kimora shrugged as she pulled on her seatbelt.

  “The fuck is wrong with you?” Prince questioned, seeing that she wasn’t her normal happy self.

  “Same shit different day,” Kimora replied as she took a few minutes to tell him what was up.

  “Damn man, that nigga was really serious about leaving New Orleans,” Prince laughed.

  “He was with his selfish ass. I feel so bad for Al and my mama. She’s acting like it’s cool but I know her. All her family is here and I know she don’t wanna leave. He doesn’t give a fuck though. As long as he’s happy, that’s all that matters to him.” Kimora frowned. Her mother’s parents and all her siblings lived in New Orleans. They were very close and she knew that it was going to be hard on them all.

  “I’m surprised Nita ain’t leave that nigga yet. I’m sorry for my bluntness but your pops is a real fuckboy. Nigga bitch and whine more than a female,” Prince noted.

  “And that’s exactly why I’m not going with them. I’ll be homeless first,” Kimora replied.

  “Never that my baby. I’ll call the leasing office Monday and see about getting a two bedroom. I have to get my lil freak to do me some more check stubs but I got you sis, always,” Prince a
ssured her as he pulled up to his complex.

  “I need a drink,” Kimora said as soon as they walked inside.

  Prince kept a few bottles of Malibu there for her and she poured some in a glass. She usually mixed it with Pineapple juice but she drank it straight that time. She needed a buzz and she was hoping that she got one soon. Kimora was sulking and she wasn’t in the mood to do anything else.

  “Come on Ki-Ki bruh, damn. You got less than an hour before your eighteenth birthday and you’re depressing me. I don’t even know why you’re stressing. You know I got you,” Prince assured her.

  “I know you do. I’m good. Where are my gifts?” Kimora asked as she sat up in the bed excitedly.

  “You got forty-one minutes,” Prince smirked.

  “Boy bye. You know Tino’s disgusting ass will be calling or pulling up at twelve on the dot,” Kimora replied.