Something Forever

by M. Clarke

  I shifted my eyes to the half-empty glass. “It’s never too late to party by myself.” I slid the drink closer after I took a seat across from them. “So, how was dinner?” I took a sip.

  “Dinner was interesting,” Jenna said, glancing at Max with pursed lips. Max must have done something that I would have done. I’d bet he made sure Jenna’s partner was fully aware that Jenna was his.

  “I’m sure it was.” I twitched my brows, twirling the cup to hear the sound of iced cubes hitting each other. Then it became awkwardly silent. I cleared my throat. “So...are you all set for the wedding?” I glanced from Max to Jenna.

  “Getting there,” Jenna said. “Your mom is fantastic. The wedding invitations have been mailed. She’s already made a lot of appointments for me. I have my final fitting for my dress next week. I’m glad she’s taking care of so many things for me. I’ve only had to answer her questions like ‘What color? How many? What design?’ I’ve been so sick that it was nice to have your mom take care of so many of the details.”

  “Yeah. Mom’s great, but don’t let her push you around. She’s good at getting things her way.”

  “Most moms are. Though it would have been nice to have my mom help me with decisions for the wedding, I’m better off without her help. She would have driven me crazy. Your mom, on the other hand, has been giving me advice but accepting our decisions. My mom wanted to fly down and help me, but I told her that I had all the right connections from your parents.”

  “That’s good.” I nodded.

  “Have you spoken to Becky yet?” Max asked. That came out of nowhere.

  I looked away. “She won’t talk to me.”

  “You going to sulk in your apartment, or are you going to do something about it? If you wait too long, it might be harder to fix it.”

  Max was always looking after me and giving me words of wisdom. I guess that was what big brothers felt like they had to do. I nodded to let him know I heard him.

  “If you love her, then don’t let the past get in the way. The past is just that...the past. Fix what is now to have a better future,” Max added.

  “I know. Becca won’t see me, so I need your help.” I stared at Jenna. Her eyes opened wider. Was she finally glad I was going to do something about it?

  “I thought you would never ask,” Jenna said happily. “What’s the plan?”

  “I’m not sure. It will have to be something she wouldn’t expect.”

  After we came up with a plan, they went to Max’s place. Though I was comfortably sulking, it was good to see Jenna and Max. It was great to have family support. I was glad Jenna was willing to help me out. Most women stuck to themselves and blamed the fight on the men.

  Chapter 17

  Jenna

  “I now pronounce you husband and wife. Ladies and gentlemen, introducing Mr. and Mrs. Keith Hunt,” the pastor announced.

  The clapping sounds echoed inside of the church as Keith and Nicole walked down the aisle. Nicole’s white dress swayed with her steps. She looked stunning with just the right amount of makeup and her hair up with loose, curly strands along the side.

  All of the bridesmaids and groomsmen followed the wedding couple after the ring bearer and the flower girl. On my way, my eyes shifted to my right, knowing exactly where Max sat. It didn’t matter how many times he winked at me, it always felt like the first time, melting me to my core. I wanted to be in his arms—but the beautiful décor of flowers on every other pew and the lace that dangled along side by side distracted me—and I couldn’t wait for our wedding day.

  After we were announced at the reception, we all took our seats. Since we didn’t seat in a traditional style, I was able to sit with Max. Pale lavender linen covered the tables, and on top were clear vases with white and pink flowers. On each setting was a party favor—a little white box with a lavender bow that tied the box together. The box was printed with a picture of Nicole and Keith, and inside were assorted chocolates.

  “Did I tell you how beautiful you look?” Max brushed his lips against my ear.

  “I believe not enough.” My lips curled into a crooked smile as I sliced the salmon into bite size pieces. I was craving steak, but I decided to feed my baby salmon instead since it had Omega 3. I read that it was good for the baby’s development.

  Max let out a soft chuckle and gave me a slice of his steak. He must have seen me drooling over his. “The lavender dress looks great on you, and you can’t even tell that you’re pregnant. But you look beautiful in any color...actually, I’d prefer them off you.”

  “Would you now, Mr. Knight?” I took a sip of my water.

  Max nodded after taking a bite of mixed vegetables. Pressing into my ear so only I could hear, he said, “Anywhere and anytime. It’s my pleasure to take care of my wife to be. I’ll be your slave. I can do as you will, but be warned...I will give you pleasure beyond what you can handle.”

  Holy Max! His words were hot enough, but when I felt his hand slide up to my clit from the front slit of the dress, I almost choked on my water.

  “You better watch it, Mr. Knight, I might just end up getting under the table and taking you on.” I couldn’t believe I had said that, but I was having so much fun flirting with Max that I couldn’t help myself. And the fact that he made it so easy, it came out natural for me. I also knew Max loved this new side of me. He claimed he was the cause of the new Jenna, and I would let him know every time that he was right.

  Max jerked a little when I glided my hand, which was already resting on his thigh, to his crotch. “Okay.” He guided my hand out on the table. “I think we’d better stop or I’m going to have to cover myself if I need to get up.”

  I couldn’t help but laugh, except there was a side of me that felt guilty for being so happy. Becky was sitting with her matched up groomsman at a table adjacent to us. I wondered why she was sitting there. Surely Nicole would have sat us together. This only made me wonder if she asked Nicole to seat us at different tables.

  Becky was getting tired of me asking her questions about Matthew. It was like talking to a wall when that conversation came up. Knowing how stubborn Becky could be, I already understood I wasn’t going to win this one. Matthew and I had already conceived a plan. It had to be something sneaky. Something Jenna, the old me, wouldn’t have done for sure.

  “I’m so glad you’re feeling better these days,” Max said, placing broccoli on my plate.

  “Me too.” I was just grateful that it hadn’t lasted that long. I’d read that morning sickness lasted during the entire pregnancy for some women. How awful.

  Max held my hand underneath the table. “It hurt me to see you like that. I wanted to take it away for you. And if I could have taken your place, I would have.”

  I knew he would; that was the way my Max was. My wants and needs were always first. Giving him a warm smile was my reply to thank him. “Max, stop giving me your food. I’m not that hungry. You need to eat, too.”

  Max chuckled. “Sorry. I can’t help it. You’re eating for two. I can’t wait to see your stomach grow.”

  When Max had told me he would be there for me, I never knew to what extent. I’d had a glimpse of his promise in action when he was there for me during the hardest time of my morning sickness. Although I never doubted him, he confirmed his commitment at that moment, and continued to confirm it with every new experience and every roadblock. Actions were always louder than words, and Max’s actions were very loud.

  After the father-daughter and mother-son dance, it was time for all of the groomsmen and bridesmaids to dance. Max growled softly when Andy took my hand.

  “Have fun with Mandy,” Max whispered quickly before I was whisked away.

  I looked over my shoulder and mouthed, “Be a good boy.”

  Max gave me a shy, adorable grin.

  That silly, funny, adorable, hot Max...how he turned me on.

  Andy was a perfect gentleman the whole slow dance, but I would be too if I had someone staring at me the way Max w
as staring at Andy. I couldn’t help but smile. Every time I looked at Max, he would wink and blow me a kiss. I was just glad he didn’t come and cut in to exchange places with Andy.

  The wedding and the reception went smoothly, without a hitch. The planning and organizing paid off. Nicole had done a fabulous job, along with her helpers, including myself. Being overly fatigued, I decided to leave earlier than I had planned. Since Kate promised to look after Becky and take her home, Max and I left the party.

  Becky

  I walked out of my bedroom and saw Jenna sitting on the sofa, folding her laundry. She had gone to Max’s place last night from the reception, so I figured she would stay today as well. “Jenna? You’re home.”

  “I came home an hour ago,” she replied.

  I headed toward her, wondering if she’d come home because of me or if she’d had a fight with Max.

  “What did you do for lunch?” Jenna asked as she continued to fold her laundry. “I called to see if you wanted to have lunch with me, but you didn’t answer your phone, text, or email.”

  “Oh.” I plopped down next to her on the coach. “I went out to eat.”

  “With Matthew?” Jenna’s tone got a bit too excited. She even stopped to look at me.

  “Nope. With Tanner.” I started folding a towel from her basket.

  “Tanner?”

  “You forgot his name already. Tanner, my groomsman partner.”

  “Oh.” Jenna sounded very disappointed. “Did you have a nice lunch with him?”

  “I did. He’s very sweet. I like him a lot. I like hanging out with him. He’s so funny, too. When I’m with him, he makes me forget my worries. Did you know he has a place in Paris? He told me that if I ever visited there, I could stay at his place.”

  Jenna gave me a smile, but it was only half of it. “That’s great, but what about Matthew?”

  “I told you that we’re done.” I took a deep breath to keep myself from tearing up. Changing the subject, like I always did whenever Matthew came up, I asked, “Nicole’s wedding was beautiful, wasn’t it?”

  “Yes,” she agreed. “Did you stay till the end?”

  “Yes, pretty much.”

  I changed the subject again and hoped Jenna would stay off the topic of Matthew. “I can tell you’re feeling better. Your cheeks are glowing and you’re eating more. I’m so relieved for you.”

  “Thank you.” Jenna picked up her phone to text. “Do you have plans for dinner tonight?”

  “No.”

  “Good.” Jenna texted again, then slid her phone to the side of her so I couldn’t see whom she was texting. “Dinner will be on me.” After closing her eyes, she opened them again. I knew when she opened her mouth many questions would be pouring out. She had every right to ask. This was going to affect our entire circle of friendship. I wasn’t ready to answer them a week ago, but now I was. “You’re going to be at my wedding, right? It’s a little over a month away.”

  “Of course. I wouldn’t miss it for anything.” I smiled to reassure her.

  “Matthew will be there.”

  “I know.” I looked away. “Don’t worry. I’m sure by then Matthew will have moved on, if not already, and we will all be fine.”

  Jenna took a deep sigh. “Matthew loves you and you love him.”

  Oh God! This was too hard. Talking about Matthew only made me miss him more; the wall I built to try to forget him was crumbling down. “Jenna,” I swallowed, desperately trying to hold back my tears, “Matthew hurt me. You should have seen the look on his face. It’s etched so deeply in my mind that that is the only thing I see.”

  “I understand, I really do, but you have to understand he was in shock. You knew about his past already and how much he was hurting. Then you came along. You were the only person he wanted to have a relationship with. I know he tried to call you. I know he tried to see you.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Matthew told you?”

  “No. Max did. Matthew is hurting a lot, too.”

  There was a part of me that felt good that he was, but that didn’t mean a thing. “He walked out on me.” I paused. “I can’t do this, Jenna. You know my record with guys. I just added Matthew to my list.” When I stood up, the towel I was supposed to be folding dropped right down to the basket. Not wanting to show Jenna my tears, I headed for my room.

  “Becky.” Jenna froze me in place when her tone didn’t sound as sweet as usual. I turned to see her standing. “You know damn well that Matthew does not belong on that list. People have their own way of dealing with things. I’ve always respected your ways even when I disagreed with them. You need to hear Matthew out. He at least deserves that. Then you can make up your mind.”

  “Okay,” I sighed. I knew she was right, but I only said that to get her off my back. Jenna had no idea how much I missed him and ached for him. Not a second went by that I didn’t think of him and wish he was there with me.

  “Okay?” Jenna sounded surprise.

  “Okay.”

  She grabbed her purse and started walking toward the door. Her laundry was still spread out on the sofa.

  “Where are you going?” I asked. She was acting strange. “It’s almost dinner time. Are you trying to tell me I should follow you now?”

  Jenna ignored me and opened the door. I froze. My heart took a dive right out of my chest at the first sight of Matthew’s body. Unable to look him in the eye, I turned away. When I heard the door close, I knew Jenna had left. That sneaky girl. I didn’t know she was capable of such treachery.

  From that one-second glimpse of Matthew, my stomach fluttered in the familiar way it always did when I saw him. This made the ache even more painful. He looked so tired and worn, I wondered if he was lacking sleep like me.

  “You can at least say hello to an old friend,” Matthew said, heading to the dining area. He pulled out a chair and sat in the same position as when I had done a lap dance for him. Recalling that incident made me laugh inside, but I would not let that affect me.

  “Hi. What are you doing here?” My tone was cold, but I didn’t care.

  “You wouldn’t take my phone calls, answer the door, or even text me back, so I had to reach out to my last resource.”

  “Consider your last resource no longer your resource for anything. After the stunt she just pulled, she’s no longer my friend,” I snapped, though I didn’t mean a word I said.

  “You don’t mean that.” Matthew leaned forward. He was a distance away, but I jerked back, thinking he was coming for me, and I bumped into the doorframe.

  Ignoring him, I changed the subject. “It was nice of you to stop by, but I’m busy right now.”

  “You’re lying and we need to talk. I’m not leaving until you hear me out,” he said sternly. I knew he meant it by the look on his face. “Come sit next to me and let’s talk like mature adults.”

  I narrowed my eyes at him, not liking his comment. I knew I was being stubborn, but this was the only way I knew how to deal with problems. Running away had always been the easiest way out. “Fine. But I’ll stand here.”

  “Okay.” Matthew nodded. “I’ll go first. Why didn’t you take my phone calls?”

  “Because there is nothing to talk about. We were broken the minute you walked out the door.”

  “I told you that I needed space. I didn’t say we were done. Don’t put your words in my mouth, Becca.”

  For some reason, my anger grew. I could feel it boiling inside of me with every breath. “You thought I knew that my friend killed your precious Tessa and that I kept that secret from you,” I huffed. I couldn’t tame my emotions any longer; the hurt and anger were pouring out. “You blamed me for her death. You walked out on me even knowing how devastated I would feel.” Oh shit! Tears were coming.

  “Asking you was a natural question, and I didn’t blame you for her death. Why would you think that?”

  The pain was too much, and I couldn’t hold back the tears any longer. “It was the way you looked at me. And then it was
the way you wouldn’t look at me. It was the way you said her name, and the way you said mine. It’s what you believe in...friends don’t let friends drive drunk. How could you even want me after what’s happened? What I did? You could have been with her. You would have been married by now, living happily ever after. I can’t believe—” I stopped. The words had flowed out of me so fast, I had allowed myself to be vulnerable for that second, but no more.

  Matthew rushed to me and placed his hands on either side of the door. I had nowhere to go as he prisoned me like before. Oh God! I was going to lose it. Feeling dizzy from his proximity, I turned my head away.

  “Becca,” Matthew gripped my arms. “Look at me.” When I refused, his voice got louder. “Look at me!”

  Tears flowed against my will when I did. Seeing his eyes red and teary pained me, too. “Damn you, Becca. Stop punishing yourself. This isn’t your fault.” Matthew pulled me to his chest. The smell of him intoxicated me to the point I wanted him. It took every ounce of will power in me to stop myself from kissing him when his lips inched toward mine.

  Though Matthew’s grip was too strong, I managed to create a space between us. Wiping my tears, I said, “It doesn’t matter if it’s my fault or not. Every time I look at you, I see her. You and I will never be the same. Her death came between us. Her death is fate telling us that we don’t belong together.”

  “I’m so sorry that I hurt you. I was in shock. You can’t blame me for being in shock, Becca. If the roles were reversed, you would have been the same way. And you’re very wrong. Tessa’s death opened the road for our paths to cross. Don’t think of it as a negative thing. Fate screwed me once before, but it made up for it when I met you. My heart was empty and you filled it up with hope. You are the reason I found love again. You’re the lighthouse to my storm. You’re my beacon that brought me home. You can stand there and tell me how wrong I am, but I’m not giving up on us. I’m not going to let you go that easily, Becca. I love you, and I know you love me, too.”

  Oh God! What could I say after that? I wanted to tell him that I felt the same. However, I loved him so much that I would rather push him away. When he walked out on me, he’d crushed me. I felt a constant stabbing ache in my heart that never stopped bleeding. Now that I felt the raw ache of what it was like to lose him, I didn’t know if I could go through it again. “You’re wrong, Matthew. In fact, I have a date tonight. So I think you should leave. He’ll be here any minute.”