Someone Else's Ocean

by Kate Stewart

  “Yeah.”

  “Something else bothering ya?”

  “Nope.”

  “So, this friend is nothing more? I think you pretend. I will wait here with a bottle of your banana rum,” he joked as he handed me three fresh bouquets.

  A month had passed since Ella left the island and Ian had managed to get back to the States twice. Each time he went I got a taste of missing him. Wanting to believe it was good exercise for my heart, I spent my days alone venturing out of my house, keeping dinner dates with Jasmine. I’d even graced her infamous wine bar again, got drunk off my ass and ended up dancing until the wee hours of the morning. I may have accidentally slipped up that night and borrowed Jasmine’s phone to FaceTime my soon to be ex non-boyfriend.

  He appeared on screen with a scowl. It was, after all, two o’clock in the morning.

  “What in the hell are you doing, Koti?”

  “Just wanted to check in with you, crocky.”

  “It’s late.”

  “Or early, don’t be such a pessimist.”

  He groaned as I tilted the phone down giving him an ample shot of my cleavage. “Try to use your nice words, I might be in the midst of missing you and you’re going to fuck it all up.”

  He grinned then as he sat up in bed. “I might be missing you too. A little. But I have to say there are perks of sleeping in my own bed.”

  “Yeah, like what?”

  “I don’t get slapped in the head every night.”

  “That’s active dreaming, totally unintentional.”

  “I don’t have a dog trying to lick my balls in the morning.”

  “That’s not her fault, they look a lot more fun than they are.”

  He lifted a brow. “I’ll grant you that.”

  Ziggy Marley sang “Drive” over the radio as I stood and swayed my hips.

  “So, I take it Jasmine finally talked you into another night out.”

  “Are you proud of me?”

  His smile had me melting on the spot I was swaying in. “Very.”

  “Well, I didn’t do it so you would be proud of me. Believe it or not, I love to dance.”

  “Then we should dance together.”

  Stopping my hips, I stood at a nearby stool at the bar. “You dance?”

  “God, you act like I’m the Grinch.”

  “If the Whoville hat fits.”

  He shook his head, giving me that dead stare I’d grown to love.

  “I’ll be back in four days. I’m trying to tie some things up here.”

  It wasn’t my place to ask what things, so I didn’t. “K. See you then. Night.”

  There was a pause on his end as his eyes swept my face, the silence conveying more than we were allowed. “Night, beauty.”

  Ian’s bag was left abandoned on the porch as he pressed me against my back door taking turns between nipping and biting at my neck.

  “This dress, damn,” he said as I smiled against his kiss.

  “You like it?”

  “I hope you aren’t wearing this out.”

  My deep red backless sundress dipped so low you could see the divot at the top of my ass. My tits were bared on either side by a thin strip of material. Tilting my head back, I gasped as he discovered I wasn’t wearing a thing underneath.

  “You better not be wearing this out of the house.”

  “Chill out, Dad.”

  He turned me then lifted my dress and proceeded to redden my ass with his palm as I laughed. He pulled me into his arms and lifted me so I was cradled to his chest. “You look beautiful.”

  Ignoring the sting of tears, I slid my palm down his stubble-covered jaw. “You need a shave.”

  Rubbing his chin against my skin, I moaned as he made his intentions known. I would be covered in his beard rash by the time he was finished.

  “Such an animal.”

  I began to sign.

  Fuck me, Ian.

  His eyes bulged. “Where did you learn that?”

  “Your precious informational channel—YouTube. And don’t get thinking I’m back online. It’s not happening.”

  “Damn, you got my hopes up, I was thinking maybe you had plugged back in and joined the land of the living.”

  “Never.”

  “Who doesn’t have a smartphone in this day and age? It’s baffling.”

  “Me.”

  “You.” He threw me on my bed and began to undress. The man was in amazing shape and my body started to flutter with anticipation.

  “Pull your dress up and spread your legs.”

  I didn’t hesitate a second.

  “Show me more.”

  I reached between my legs and did his bidding.

  “Hold it there.”

  “Ian… hurry.”

  “Not this time,” he said with slow piercing gray eyes.

  Once he’d shed his shoes, he tugged at the clasp on his watch. In his slacks, I moaned as he kept his darkening gaze on me. I loved it when he wore a suit home. Something about him in dress attire did it for me.

  “Are you wet?”

  “Come find out.”

  “Show me,” he said, leaning against my dresser and slipping off his shoes.

  “Please,” I begged, dipping my fingers in my center, so he could hear that I was ready. His cock jumped in his pants.

  His eyes trailed down my body and jumped to meet mine. “I’ll never tire of you, ever.”

  “I missed you. Please, please, Ian. I want you.”

  He was still partially clothed and driving me out of my mind with his control. His hair was combed neatly and gelled. He looked so sophisticated, so well put together—dashing—I could only imagine the fantasies of his students and felt a pang of jealousy as the idea struck.

  I began to writhe on the bed, a completely different woman than I was before he’d become my lover. Never in a million years could I have dreamed of having the appetite I did then. Not every time was painful, but I would risk it every day for the slightest feel of him. It was hopeless, I was addicted to him and hopelessly in love.

  “Say it again.”

  “I want you.”

  “Again.”

  “I fucking want you,” I said as he remained where he stood. “Please.”

  When he didn’t move, I sat up. “What are you doing?”

  “Again.”

  “I want you.”

  “Again.”

  Anger began to surface. “What are you doing?”

  “Again.”

  “Go to hell.”

  Moving to the edge of the bed, he stopped me from my retreat as tears sprang to my eyes.

  “Fine,” I sighed as my tears fell. “I need you, happy?”

  “No,” he said before kissing me within an inch of my life. When he pulled away, I was emotionally raw.

  “Damnit, Ian, this wasn’t supposed to happen.”

  He nodded. “I know.”

  “This isn’t good, is it?”

  “No, but you aren’t alone.”

  I ripped his hair as he tilted my neck and bit and sucked until I was begging again.

  I unzipped his pants freeing his cock, pumping it between us.

  “Every time I see you, I feel so relieved. Like I’d been living in some sort of dream and then I come back and you’re here,” he put my hand over his chest, “and I can breathe again.”

  Emotion bounced between us as he slid into me, stretching me full while my throat burned with emotion. When we’d both come, he pulled me to his chest as the room began to darken with the setting sun.

  “This is the best I’ve ever felt,” he whispered, “ever.”

  “You’re my first, Ian.”

  He paused his movements. “What?”

  “You’re the first man I’ve ever had this sort of connection with.” I sat up and looked back at him with a smile. “You’re the first man I’ve ever felt this way for. I never got this far with anyone because… you know. I just couldn’t, so you’re my first.”

  Hi
s eyes searched mine before he slowly pushed inside me again. Words failed us as we moved in sync, our hearts pounding out the words we weren’t allowed to utter. We broke in a breathless mess and he pulled me against his chest, his heart hammering against my ear as I ran my nails down his skin.

  “How was Ella?”

  “I didn’t get to see her, she’s in Washington for the next week.”

  “Oh?”

  “Yeah,” he whispered. “Would you be terribly pissed off if I slept?”

  “No, of course not.”

  “I was so busy getting things sorted I didn’t get much done and this drunk crazy lady managed to call me on the one night I managed a few winks.”

  “Sorry.”

  “I loved watching you dance. It was…” he swallowed, “it was good.”

  “Good?”

  “For lack of a better word. I’m sleep deprived, remember?”

  I kissed his chest and pulled away. “Room’s all yours.”

  He pulled me back and kissed me soundly. “Sit tight for a bit, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  Seconds later his breathing deepened and for a solid day, he slept.

  I GREETED MY NEW RENTERS with a smile as they exited the cab both wrinkled and exhausted from a day of travel.

  The husband pulled the sleeping little boy from his car seat as he roused wrapping his chubby arms around his father’s neck. “Come on, buddy.”

  The baby glanced around, his beautiful green eyes meeting mine before he buried his head into his father’s neck. “Come on, Noble, can you say hi to the lady?”

  I waved at him and he giggled as his father extended a hand. “You must be Koti, nice to meet you. I’m Cameron and this is my wife, Abbie.”

  Abbie greeted me with a warm smile. “Nice to meet you. Wow, this place is truly beautiful.”

  “I’m hoping the surprise was a good one?” I’d been planning the trip with her husband for the past few weeks.

  “I still can’t believe he pulled this off,” she said, glancing back at her family with love-soaked eyes. “We, uh, didn’t really get to have a honeymoon. I got sick on our first try.”

  “Morning sickness?”

  “Yes, it’s the worst. Do you have children?”

  “No,” I said, staring at their beautiful little boy who wore a T-shirt that read Woo King.

  “No kids yet, someday?”

  Someday?

  “Well, my little man was definitely worth it,” Abbie said, kissing his hand before she scoured the rental with a smile.

  Pangs of envy hit in that moment as Cameron leaned in and kissed his son on the forehead. “Ready to go swimming, buddy?”

  He nodded and nestled further into his father’s arms.

  Realization struck, even with all the families I’d checked into rentals over the past year, it was the first time in my life I wished for a family of my own. My own baby boy with eyes the color of his father’s.

  Shocked at my personal admission, I walked the beautiful family through their beach house. Abbie ambled with me as Cameron chased Noble through the expansive living room. “Noble, stop. Don’t touch that, buddy. Why you little…” he picked the baby up easily and tossed him up over his head, catching him as he squealed. “Gain, Dada, gain!”

  Abbie took a step out onto the long back porch where she was met with the sight of thousands of miles of expansive ocean.

  “You can get to the beach from the first level,” I said as she looked back at her husband with utter love. Abbie’s excitement was infectious. “This is incredible, baby!” She yelled to Cameron who answered back with a pride-filled grin. “Happy you love it, babe.”

  I chimed in. “You won’t get used to the view and that’s a good thing.”

  “I just can’t believe we’re here,” she smiled. “I didn’t realize how much we needed this.”

  “You’ll be a new woman by the time you leave. Cameron’s scheduled a massage for you in a few hours, there is a week’s worth of groceries in the fridge. He’s also opted for concierge service and a driver for the length of your stay. My number is in the book on the table.” Abbie stood, eyes glistening, her smile growing with every word I spoke.

  “Happy?”

  “Ecstatic.”

  “Awesome. There are two keys to the house on the foyer table. And please don’t hesitate to call if you need anything.”

  Cameron joined us standing by Abbie’s side with a newly animated little boy wiggling in his arms.

  “Thank you so much, Koti, I couldn’t have pulled this off without you.”

  “You’re welcome and welcome to St. Thomas.”

  I left the smiling family with a new kind of ache in my chest. I was just about to head back to the office when Jasmine called.

  “Hey buddy, did you get the Bledsoe’s checked in?”

  “Yep, all set.”

  “We’re done for the day if you want to knock off.”

  “Are you sure?” I asked with a smile.

  “Yes girl, go play with Ian. But just keep your phone on for calls. I have a date tonight.”

  “Really? With who?”

  She paused. “Jasmine, with who?”

  “Toby. Am I crazy?”

  “Of course not, I kind of figured that was going to happen.”

  “Really, you see us together? He’s so…”

  “Bold? Confident? Perfect for you?”

  “If you thought that, why didn’t you say something?”

  “I wanted you two to figure it out for yourselves.”

  I pulled up to a stoplight where a Jeep, the same style as mine waited with me. I glanced over to see I had the attention of the passengers, a group of teenage guys.

  “Let’s just hope he doesn’t come out in an apron or want me to R. Kelly his ass.”

  “What?”

  “Pee on him or some freaky shit.”

  The guys burst into laughter as I hung my head. “You just embarrassed me at a stoplight,” I hissed as I smashed onto the gas the minute the light changed.

  It was all I remembered aside from the crunch of metal.

  IGNORING MY PHONE, I RAN through my list of lectures and made notes. Looking around the expansive beach house, I basked in the serenity of Koti’s bubble. As soon as she got home, I was going to cook her my favorite meal and spend the night making her moan. I wasn’t taking a single fucking minute of our time together for granted. After making sure I had everything I needed I glanced at the clock. She would be home any minute. Warmth spread as I thought of the way she’d woken me up that morning, her lips wrapped around my cock before she lifted herself to sink on top of me. We didn’t utter a word, just reveled in the connection as I pulled her to me so we were chest to chest, hearts pounding as she slowly rode me until we had no choice but to break the silence with words of praise.

  There was something to be said about the sex we had, but the connection we shared was what made it so fucking incredible. Koti was a safe haven, and I drank with greed from her never-ending fountain of beauty and warmth. There was always an understanding in her eyes, kindness of her words. Our relationship was effortless, she was a relatable friend and an incredible lover. She gave and gave, and I took without hesitation because even though at the heart of it, I felt selfish, I felt like she too was thriving on letting me have my way. Anything else would have been unacceptable, I knew that I cared too much about her to hurt her. If I felt for one second over the last month we shared that she had suffered in any way, I wouldn’t have returned to St. Thomas. There was no benefit in making her confess she needed me the night before, but my desire to know if the feeling was mutual was too much.

  Because I needed her too, and as dangerous as it was to get that admission, I didn’t feel so alone in my ache and maybe, just maybe, my confession that I needed her the same would be enough for us for the moment.

  My phone vibrated again, and I picked it up to see a local area code.

  “Hello.”

  “Ian, it’s
Jasmine.”

  My heart sank as every nerve in my body fired. “No, oh fuck, is she all right?”

  “She’s been in an accident. Some asshole t-boned her at a light but thankfully he wasn’t going that fast. She’s got a rash from the airbag, but she’s okay. I’m bringing her home now. She just didn’t want you to worry.”

  “Why didn’t she call me?”

  The silence confirmed my worst fear. “She had an attack?”

  “Yes,” Jasmine confirmed with a whisper, “and it was nasty. They gave her some meds and she’s a little loopy.”

  “Okay.”

  “Just don’t walk on eggshells, okay, or she’ll know I told you.”

  “I won’t.”

  “Ian, at some point you aren’t going to be there, right?”

  Pressing my lips together I tried to push away the burn in my chest. “Right.”

  “I hope you know what you’re doing.”

  On the defensive but feeling like a bastard, I answered. “I don’t want to hurt her.”

  “But you’re going to. And if I’m being honest, I think you already are.”

  Pacing the floor, I let out a sigh of relief when the front door opened. Koti appeared with a small red rash on the side of her nose and a larger stretch of it covering her chin.

  “So today sucked,” she said with a laugh. “I’m slightly medicated.”

  In an instant, she was in my arms. “I’m so sorry.” I pulled away.

  “I’m totally fine. Airbags fucking hurt though just so you know, stay as far away from the wheel when you drive as you possibly can. I feel like I got punched by a heavyweight.”

  “That bad?”

  “Not on Vicodin and Xanax,” she said with a laugh. “I’m feeling pretty damn loose, professor, tonight might be a good time to experiment.”

  I rolled my eyes.

  “Look at you, rolling your eyes. I do remember you grounding your daughter for that.”

  “Are you okay, really?”

  She paused when she read my expression. “She told you, didn’t she? That asshole.”

  “Why can’t I know?”

  “Why should you know?” She ran her hands through her longer blonde hair. She’d been growing it out since I’d arrived at the island. I hadn’t told her, but I loved it that length. I hadn’t told her I loved a lot of things. “Because I’m the man waiting for you, that’s why.”