A Father In The Making

by Carolyne Aarsen

  “And what do you suggest?”

  Dr. Schuler laid out the papers he had taken with him and leaned his elbows on the desk. “Could you have a look at these? Tell me if you recognize anything in them.”

  Though the pictures were crudely drawn, Mia had seen enough of Nico’s drawings to recognize what he was trying to portray. The first paper was covered with orange and red flames and in the middle of them stood a stick figure of a man wearing a black cowboy hat, a feather stuck in the band. The cowboy stood beside a smaller figure. The next picture beside it was of the same man, riding a horse. The man wore the same cowboy hat. Another picture showed, what Mia guessed, was the same stick figure. He stood by a horse, again, but a little boy rode the horse. Another picture depicted the same thing.

  “Is there anything, other than the ubiquitous man with the black cowboy hat with the feather, that you notice about these pictures?” Dr. Schuler was saying.

  Mia stifled a yawn as her eyes flicked over the pictures but she couldn’t find what Dr. Schuler wanted her to see. “Sorry. My brain isn’t working properly today.”

  “I’m sure it’s had enough to think about. I just thought you might see something I might have missed. But I wanted you to notice two things. The man has all his features—face, eyes, nose mouth and hair. The little boy only has eyes. No mouth.”

  “Indicative of his lack of speech,” Mia guessed.

  “I would guess the same. And you can see that in each picture it seems to me the little boy is looking at the man. Is he familiar to you in any way?”

  Mia slowly released her breath through pursed lips, thinking of Nico’s actions of this morning. “A man named Nate rescued Nico from the fire. He’s the foster brother of the man whose ranch I’m living on. He’s a horse trainer and he’s only passing through.”

  Dr. Schuler tapped his fingers on his desk, as if thinking. “You sound concerned.”

  “I am concerned about my son’s attachment to him,” Mia said, looking at the other pictures Dr. Schuler had brought along. All of Nate and Nico and horses. “This morning, before we came here, I found him with Nate in the barn. Nico doesn’t form attachments quickly, so yes, it concerns me. It took him months to get over Al’s defection. I can’t afford to let him get attached to someone who will be leaving within the next couple of weeks.”

  “I understand. However, your son seems to have formed a strong connection to him and to his horses. I am presuming the connection with Nate started with the rescue from the fire. Now we just need to figure out how we can use it to help your son. So this is something you will have to deal with.”

  All that Dr. Schuler said reinforced Mia’s own concerns about Nate, but it didn’t negate the reality of Nico’s connection to him.

  “So what’s next?” she asked.

  “Another visit, obviously. We’ll have to set up some type of schedule. This will take time and patience to deal with. As for the man in the pictures, is he trustworthy?”

  The man had put his own life on the line to save Nico and Josh. He and Denny seemed to have a close relationship. Any of Mia’s concerns about Nate and Nico were not because of Nate’s character. But because of his circumstances.

  “I believe he is,” Mia said.

  “Would you consider working with him and Nico. Possibly some supervised visits?”

  “He lives at the same place we do. His brother owns the ranch we’re staying at.”

  “Then having him spend some time with you and Nico might be a possibility. He might be able to draw Nico out somehow. As well, given that Nico seems drawn to his horses, that could be another point of connection that you and this man could work with.”

  “We can figure out all we want,” Mia said, “but if Nate isn’t willing to help out, then we’re no further ahead.”

  “If he’s not, then we’ll have to explore other avenues. Maybe the horses that also feature prominently in each picture could be a vehicle for his recovery. But for now, this man seems to be an important point of connection.” Dr. Schuler leaned forward. “I fully understand your concerns and under any other circumstance I would feel the same. But to me Nico’s mutism is wound up with this man. If, somehow, you could work with him and Nico, as well as his horses, we might see a breakthrough.

  “If we can even simply establish a connection with Nico and the horses that might be enough to mitigate any concerns that might come up when this man, Nate, leaves. How do you feel about that?”

  “I’m still not comfortable, but of course, I’ll do anything for Nico.”

  “Of course you would,” Dr. Schuler said with a smile as he leaned back in his leather chair. “You strike me as a loving and caring mother.”

  Grace started squawking and Mia jiggled the stroller to settle her down.

  “One thing for next time—I would like to spend some time with you one-on-one during the next visit. You’ve been through just as much as the boys.”

  Mia waved off his concern as she turned the stroller around to check on the girls. “I’m fine. I just need to get through the next few weeks.”

  Dr. Schuler gave her a thoughtful look, as if trying to see into her soul.

  “Really. I’m okay,” she insisted.

  “The offer stands. Think about it.”

  “Thanks, but I’ll be fine.” She got up and slung the diaper bag over her shoulder. Thankfully, Grace had settled again.

  “Stop at the reception area,” Dr. Schuler said. “I’m fully booked up for next week, but hopefully you can get in after that. From there on we can set a weekly visiting schedule.”

  “Sure. Thanks so much for seeing me today. I appreciate you taking my son on such short notice.”

  “I look forward to seeing what we can do for him.” Dr. Schuler got up and walked around the desk to the door to open it for her. “This is temporary. You need to know that. We can help your son. I am hoping this Nate man will be willing to help.”

  Mia’s thoughts ticked back to the conversation she had just had with Nate this morning. How she had asked him to stay away from her son. Now Dr. Schuler was suggeting she ask for his help?

  She thought of Nico and shook her head. One step at a time. For now, get home. Then you can figure out how to deal with this.

  Chapter Six

  “And how have you been feeling, Jeff?” Evangeline asked as she passed him a bowl of salad.

  “I’m fine,” Jeff said.

  “You may be, but you’re still a little hoarse.” Angie glanced at Jeff sitting beside her at the long, wooden table in Denny’s kitchen. Mia and her children took up one end, the adults the other. The full table reminded Nate of the dinners at the Norquests’. Lots of people and shared jokes, laughter and conversation.

  Jeff just grinned at her as he heaped a generous helping of spinach salad on his plate. “A little hoarse? And here I figured you thought of me as a little puppy. Chasing after you.”

  Everyone groaned at that awful joke.

  “We’re thankful you and Nate could do what you did,” Denny said. “And glad you both could join us for dinner. Our way of showing our appreciation.”

  “I know I can’t thank you enough,” Mia said quietly from her spot at the end of the table. “You and Nate.”

  Though she mentioned him as well, Nate didn’t get a look like the adoring one Angie bestowed on Jeff.

  “I understand you’re out of your home, too,” Angie said, turning to Evangeline. “When will you be able to open the store?”

  “The insurance company will be done with their investigation tomorrow so I’m guessing in the next few days,” Evangeline said. “I just wish Mia was having an easier time dealing with her insurance company.”

  “You get the service you pay for,” Mia said, though Nate heard the frustration in her voice.

  “No
w that you and Jeff are here,” Evangeline was saying, “what do you think about having book club here instead of at the store? We’ll have to move the date by about a week, but would that work?”

  “Sounds good to me. I love coming out here,” Angie said.

  “You could come, too, Nate,” Evangeline said, drawing him into the conversation. “I know you read the book. I saw you taking it out to the barn this morning.”

  Nate shrugged her comment off but out of the corner of his eye caught Mia’s surprised look. Yes, I’m literate, he wanted to say. “I’ll think about it. If I’m still around.” So much depended on Tango’s recovery.

  “And how was your visit at the therapist, Mia?” Denny took another helping of casserole, passing it on to Nate. He waved it off and passed it on to Jeff, who seemed to be enjoying everything that came his way.

  Nate chanced a quick glance at the clock.

  In spite of Jeff and Angie’s company, dinner had been one tense ordeal he just wanted over. When Mia had come into the kitchen to see him there, her face fell. Then, when Nico had come to his side and leaned against him again, her eyes grew hard.

  Wasn’t difficult to imagine what ran through her head. He eased Nico away, tried to make his excuses and leave, but both Evangeline and Denny had insisted he stay.

  He knew it would look ungracious to refuse, so he stayed. But all through the meal he felt far too aware of Mia and Nico sitting across from him and the tension coiling her as tight as a filly.

  “For a first appointment, it went pretty good,” Mia continued, wiping some food off Grace’s face. Jennifer was reaching out to Josh, who was laughing at her. “Nico drew a whole bunch of pictures. He did a great job.” The look she gave her son created an unwelcome ache in Nate’s heart. She managed to make each of her kids feel important and loved. His mother couldn’t even do that with one kid.

  “Did you want to show us your pictures?” Evangeline asked.

  Nico shook his head, but then, to his surprise, looked over at Nate, his dark eyes intent. As if seeking something from him.

  Sorry, buddy. Your mom doesn’t want me near you and I don’t blame her.

  Nate wiped his mouth with the napkin. Time to go. “May I be excused?” he asked, picking up his plate.

  “Of course, but we’re not quite done.” Denny pointed at the large book lying on the buffet against the wall of the kitchen.

  Of course. Every evening after supper, Denny’s family read the Bible and prayed. Nate felt foolish. Though he had been reading the Bible himself, he’d forgotten about this particular Norquest family ritual. So he sat down again, folded his arms over his chest, and while trying not to look at Mia, waited for everyone else to finish their dinner.

  When everyone was done Denny set the Bible on the table and glanced around. “Evangeline and I have been reading from Romans,” he said. “So I’ll just carry on, if that’s okay with our guests.”

  His question was purely rhetorical. No one said anything so he opened the Bible to the bookmark, cleared his throat and began.

  “‘In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness,’” he read. “‘We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.’”

  Nate’s heart stilled as the words hooked into his heart. God works for the good of those who love Him.

  He remembered Denny’s mother saying those words to him as he sat, staring out over the ranch after telling her what he’d had to deal with at the hands of his stepfather. How she told him that if we trust in God, nothing in our life was wasted. He didn’t believe her, but over time, as he fell into the rhythm of life on the Norquest ranch, he wondered if God hadn’t used the circumstances of his life to bring him here.

  Then the Norquests died and Denny got married and then divorced. The ranch was sold and Nate was on his own again with the bitter reminder of what happens when you let people too close.

  A movement in the corner of his eye caught his attention. Mia had lifted her hand, pressing her fingers against her lips, furrowing her brows, as if she, too, was trying to figure out how God would work everything for her good. One of the twins, “Dimples,” squawked and Mia immediately reached over and smoothed her hand over the little girl’s head, an unconscious gesture.

  Then, as if she sensed his attention, she looked over. He saw uncertainty in her expression and worry, and for a moment he wished he could ease all that away.

  You’re not that guy, he reminded himself. You don’t know how to take care of kids and she doesn’t want you around hers.

  With a start Nate realized Denny had finished reading. He looked down and folded his hands, aware of the next step, promising himself, and God, that this time he would pay attention.

  “Dear Lord,” Denny prayed, “Thank You for this meal and that we could be here around this table safe and healthy. We continue to pray for Mia and her family. We ask that You will watch over them and restore them back to their home. Be with all of us who are searching for home. May we know that only in You, who works for our good, can we find our true home. Amen.”

  Nate kept his head bowed a moment longer, wondering if Denny was alluding to him with that last sentence. Nate knew he had drifted far from the faith introduced to him by his foster family. But he also knew the years he’d spent drifting around were an unspoken searching for a place he felt he could belong.

  But not yet, he told himself. Not yet. He had goals he wanted to meet. Things he wanted to do.

  Prove to your stepfather that you can actually amount to something?

  Nate dismissed the pernicious thought as he got up from the table. His stepfather was dead and he didn’t have to prove anything to anyone. He gathered up his and Denny’s plates, and brought them to the sink where Evangeline was already working.

  “Would you mind if I excuse myself?” Nate asked. “I want to check on my horses.”

  “They okay?” Evangeline asked. “I thought you spent most of the day with them.”

  “Yeah. But...” His excuse fizzled off as he looked over at Mia, who was watching him as if she was trying to figure him out. He held her gaze for a split second longer than he should have, feeling once again that faint quiver of attraction.

  He turned back to Evangeline, who gave him an arch smile. “Of course. You go check on your horses. And you’ll have to join us again for supper tomorrow.”

  Nate doubted he would. Hamburgers and pizza in Hartley Creek was probably on the menu until he could leave. And the sooner that happened, the better.

  He slipped his cowboy boots on and stepped outside into the cool evening air. The sun was setting behind the mountains, pulling the warmth of the day with it. He took a long, deep breath, as if easing out the restlessness he could never completely shake and walked over to the barn. He just wanted to be around less complicated mammals. His horses didn’t need anything.

  He grabbed the book he’d been reading, the book club book that Evangeline had given him, settled onto a bale and made an attempt at reading. But he caught his eyes drifting off the page as his mind slipped back to Mia. Nico.

  His own situation.

  Though he understood why Mia didn’t want him around Nico, it still created an edge of stress. He liked the little guy and felt sorry for him. He would have liked to help him, though he wasn’t sure how.

  Tango nickered, and Nate got up to see if he was okay.

  His horse stood in the corner of the stall, his head down, obviously in pain. Nate stepped into the stall and walked toward his horse.

  “Hey, guy. I’m sorry. If I’d paid attention I
might have seen that camper before he cut us off,” he said quietly and gently running his hands over Tango’s leg, checking the injury. “I know you count on me and I let you down. But I’ll help you get better and then we’re out of here,” he murmured. He gave Tango a final pat and stepped out of the pen.

  Then startled as he saw Mia standing in the doorway.

  She held a few pieces of paper in front of her, one corner of her mouth tucked between her teeth. The overhead light of the barn made her hair shine, made her eyes look larger and luminous.

  Doe eyes, he thought, then dismissed the fanciful notion.

  “Do you have a few minutes?” she asked.

  “Minutes I’ve got lots of. You need some?” he asked, adding his own attempt at a grin. He seldom felt uncomfortable around women, but Mia put him on edge.

  She held up the papers. “Nico drew these at our appointment with the therapist. I’d like your take on them.”

  Nate took the papers, puzzled as to what she hoped he could contribute. A chill fingered down his neck as understanding dawned.

  “Something tells me that I’m the guy in these pictures,” he said, flipping through them again.

  Mia simply nodded.

  “What is this supposed to mean?”

  “Dr. Schuler thinks it shows a strong connection with Nico.” Mia paused, pressing her thumbs together.

  Nate handed her back the sheaf of papers. “I’m sorry, but there’s nothing I can do about that. I promised you I would stay away from him and I will.”

  Mia bit her lip again as she took the pictures from him. “I realize that,” she said, “and I appreciate it, but Dr. Schuler thinks...he thinks...that we should capitalize on this attachment.”

  Nate frowned at her. “What do you mean capitalize?”

  Mia dropped down on the bale Nate had vacated a few moments ago, pressing the papers against her blouse. “He suggested that I talk to you about spending time with Nico. Spending time with Nico and your horses,” she corrected. “He said that often horses are used in therapy situations. I know Denny doesn’t have the time, and Dr. Schuler didn’t think it would be as effective if it wasn’t you working with Nico and horses.”