The Way We Were

by Sinéad Moriarty

  Pippa handed her a glass of champagne. ‘Drink that. It’ll help with your nerves. Now, as I said to you on the phone, it’s just six friends for dinner. No pressure and no fuss.’

  Alice knocked back the champagne. David came out to them, carrying another glass.

  ‘Ah, I see Pippa’s ahead of me. Here, you might need another.’ David handed Alice the glass and kissed her warmly on the cheek. ‘I know it’s difficult for you, but we’re so glad you came. It is important for you to get out a bit and … well …’

  ‘Move on?’

  ‘No!’ David was flustered. ‘I don’t mean that … I just want to make sure you’re all right and I … Well, I can only imagine how difficult it is for you and the girls. I miss Ben awfully myself.’ He looked down at his shoes.

  Alice put the two glasses on the side-table and hugged him.

  ‘Stop it.’ Pippa flapped about beside them. ‘No tears tonight. For goodness’ sake, David, we’re supposed to be cheering Alice up.’

  ‘Sorry.’ David wiped his eyes while Pippa dabbed delicately at Alice’s with a tissue, making sure not to ruin her make-up.

  ‘There,’ she said. ‘Now, you two, no more crying. Deep breaths.’

  David smiled at his wife and regained his composure. ‘Has Pippa told you who’s here? It’s just us, you, of course, my sister Ruby, her husband Norman and our neighbour, Dan.’

  ‘Dan?’ Alice frowned. ‘Oh, God, is this a blind date? Are you setting me up? Guys, come on!’

  ‘No!’ David assured her.

  ‘Absolutely not, darling,’ Pippa said. ‘Dan moved in next door a few months ago. He seems awfully nice. He’s a self-made chap, very dynamic, very successful and good fun. We wanted to invite him and thought it would be a good way to make up numbers.’

  ‘And you’re sitting beside me so I’ll look after you,’ David said, leading Alice into the vast drawing room.

  Alice was introduced and gave Dan a cursory glance. She was embarrassed and annoyed. She didn’t want to be partnered with someone, even if it was just to ‘make up numbers’. What the hell was wrong with uneven numbers anyway? Why did people always feel they had to have a round number at dinner parties?

  They sat down and David was wonderful, keeping the conversation going and being incredibly attentive to Alice. After the starter and a large glass of white wine, she began to relax. Dan had been talking to Ruby most of the time and it was only when the main course arrived that he turned to Alice.

  ‘So, what’s your story then, Alice?’ he asked, his eyes smiling at her.

  Alice felt David freeze beside her. ‘Well, my husband got blown up by a landmine in Eritrea eighteen months ago. So I’m a widow with two daughters. That’s my story.’

  Dan didn’t flinch. He looked directly into her eyes. Alice noticed how blue they were. ‘Well, that makes an interesting change from “I’m a lawyer” or “I’m an accountant.” ’

  Alice laughed. She hadn’t meant to, but it was the way he said it. He was so relaxed, not awkward at all. She’d expected him to blush or stutter or apologize or just be mortified, but he wasn’t and she liked it. It was refreshing. ‘What about you, Dan?’

  ‘My wife left ten years ago and moved to Argentina with her tennis coach. I’ve got one daughter who’s twenty-three.’

  ‘Did she take your daughter with her?’

  Dan’s jaw set. ‘No, just a lot of my money.’

  ‘Gosh, that’s cold.’

  Dan grinned. ‘I can think of a lot of other ways to describe it, but cold is more polite.’

  Alice decided to be direct too. ‘Did you ever meet anyone else?’

  A slow smile spread across Dan’s face. ‘Oh, a few, but none that I became attached to.’

  Alice felt something in her stomach. A flutter? A twitter? Some kind of movement that she hadn’t felt in a long time. She smiled back at Dan. She liked him. She liked his honesty. She liked his eyes and she liked his smile too. ‘Do you think you’re too choosy?’ she asked.

  ‘No. I’m old enough to know what I like and young enough not to settle for second best.’

  Alice laughed. ‘I like that.’

  ‘So what do you do when you’re not being a mum?’

  ‘I’m a GP.’

  Dan raised an eyebrow. ‘Good-looking and smart. I like that.’

  ‘You?’

  ‘I’m in property.’

  ‘Sounds vague.’

  ‘I buy rundown buildings – hotels, office blocks, that kind of thing – do them up and sell them on.’

  ‘Do you buy all over the world or just the UK?’

  ‘All over. I’ve just bought an apartment block in New York. How do you manage to juggle work and be Mum?’

  Alice was surprised by this. No man had ever asked her how she did it all. ‘I just do. I don’t know if I’m doing a very good job, I just muddle through each day, I guess.’

  ‘I remember when my wife left, how difficult it was trying to keep my eye on Stella and work. It’s not easy. I admire you.’

  Alice was warming to Dan. He got it. ‘I admire you too. Being a single dad can’t be easy.’

  ‘I got lucky with Stella. She’s fantastic.’

  ‘I hope my girls turn out all right. It’s been hard on them.’

  Dan lowered his voice. ‘It’s hard on you too. How are you doing?’

  Alice felt comfortable with him. His wife had left him alone with a child. He knew what it was like. She didn’t pretend. ‘I have good days and bad days. More good than bad now, thank God. The girls are still shattered, but they’ve definitely been less fragile in the last few months.’

  ‘Don’t worry. They’ll be okay. Kids are amazingly resilient. Stella went a bit wobbly at first, but then she got through it and she’s really great now.’

  ‘What does she do?’

  ‘She works in an art gallery. She was never very good at school – then again, neither was I. But she’s doing well and enjoying it.’

  Alice nodded. ‘That’s all I want, for the girls to be happy. Jools, my seventeen-year-old, isn’t academic and I do worry about her.’

  ‘What’s she good at? What does she like doing?’

  ‘She’s obsessed with art and fashion.’

  ‘Then send her to art college or help her get a job in the art world. Parents get obsessed with their kids going to university. You have to let them follow their passions, or they’ll be miserable. Stella wasn’t cut out for the academic life, so I let that ambition go and we talked about what she’d be happy to get up and do every day. Turns out it’s being around artists and art exhibitions. And she’s bloody good at it too, so it was definitely the best choice.’

  Alice thought this over. It was true that she and Ben had always wanted the girls to go to university. It was their dream for them. But it wasn’t Jools’s dream. Dan was right: happiness should come first. Maybe Jools should go to art college and follow her passion.

  Alice smiled. ‘She picked out my outfit tonight.’

  Dan drank Alice in with his eyes. ‘She has very good taste.’

  They were interrupted by Norman asking Dan about a big new hotel his company had just bought in central London. Dan told them about his plans for the revamp and Alice sat back watching him. He was very animated when he talked about work, full of energy and life. Alice felt more alive just by sitting close to him.

  When they were having coffee, Dan leant in towards her. ‘Do you do many house calls as a GP?’ he asked.

  ‘Not many, but some.’

  ‘If I called and asked you to come to my house because I had a very serious issue, would you come?’ He smiled.

  ‘Probably not.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Too soon.’

  Dan shook his head. ‘It’s all about baby steps, Alice. I remember from my own experience that everything seems very daunting, but once you dip your toe in the water, it’s less so.’

  ‘Coming out tonight was a big step for me.’

 
; ‘How’s it going?’

  Alice smiled. ‘Pretty well, actually.’

  ‘So how about another step. How about coffee?’

  Alice paused. She liked him. He was nice and he knew what it was like to lose someone you love. He wasn’t pushy, just encouraging. She felt safe with him. It was strange: she didn’t know him but she felt very comfortable in his company. And, if she was being honest, she found him very attractive.

  ‘I’ll throw in a muffin too,’ he said with a smile.

  ‘Okay.’

  ‘Where do you work?’

  ‘West Kensington.’

  ‘How about tomorrow, at one, the Royal George Hotel?’

  Alice felt a bit flustered. Tomorrow? It was a bit soon.

  Dan placed his hand gently on her arm. ‘If we don’t make an arrangement to meet now, you’ll start to overthink it and say no. It’s just a coffee, Alice.’

  Alice took a deep breath and said, ‘Tomorrow at one.’

  The next day, Kevin commented on what she was wearing. She’d got changed three times and opted for a plain black dress with a chunky necklace and very high heels that flattered her legs. ‘You look nice. I haven’t seen you wear heels in ages. How was last night?’

  ‘Fine, nothing special,’ Alice said, keen to avoid a conversation about it. She didn’t want to admit she was going for coffee with a strange man. She was hassled about it and had decided to cancel when she woke up, but she didn’t have Dan’s number and she didn’t want to have to call Pippa for it because then it would become a ‘thing’. And it most certainly was not a ‘thing’. She’d just go and meet him, stay for ten minutes and make it clear she wasn’t ready for any of this. It was too soon. It felt wrong. She felt guilty but also, surprisingly, excited and nervous. No, it was too soon. She was being silly. She was just flattered by the attention. She’d go because it was rude not to turn up, but that was it.

  The ten-minute walk from the surgery to the hotel felt like ten hours. Alice dragged her feet and kept berating herself for having agreed to it at all. Her shoes hurt and her feet throbbed. By the time she turned the corner to the hotel, she was in a grump. This whole thing was ridiculous.

  But when she reached the hotel, the uniformed doorman opened the door for her and she was immediately greeted by the manager. ‘Dr Gregory?’ he asked. ‘Mr Penfold is waiting for you in the morning room. Please follow me.’

  Alice was taken aback. Forgetting her sore feet, she followed the manager through the marble foyer into a lovely bright room, tastefully decorated in pale blue and cream. Dan was standing at the window, talking on his phone. He turned to her and mouthed, ‘Sorry!’

  The manager led Alice to a table that was set for two with lunch. In fact, it looked like lunch for a small army – there was a large variety of dishes, more than the two of them could possibly eat.

  As Dan wrapped up his phone call, Alice studied him. He was attractive in a rugged, sexy kind of way. Very different from Ben’s tall, handsome good looks. Dan was smaller, stockier, but very fit and healthy-looking. His hair was grey but cut into a short manly style. Just as she remembered from the night before, he radiated energy and dynamism.

  He snapped his phone shut and walked over to her, kissing her gently on the cheek. ‘I’m sorry about that. One of our hotels had a flood and the manager is not handling it well. How are you?’

  Alice had been so distracted by the food, the setting and Dan that she’d forgotten her nerves. ‘I’m fine, thank you, but we seem to have very different definitions of coffee.’

  Dan grinned. ‘I didn’t know what you liked, so I ordered plenty.’

  ‘I take it this is one of your hotels?’

  ‘Yes. Do you like it?’

  ‘It’s lovely. I’ve passed it lots of times but there was always scaffolding up. Have you just finished doing it up?’

  ‘Three weeks ago,’ Dan said proudly.

  ‘You’ve done a wonderful job. It was very rundown before and now it’s stunning.’

  ‘Thank you, I’m really glad you like it.’

  Dan sat down beside Alice and poured her some water. It was nice. It was comfortable. Alice smiled inwardly. She felt like an individual for the first time in so long. She wasn’t a mum or a doctor – worrying about the girls, work, finances, timetables or patients – she was a woman being spoilt by a man, and it felt really, really nice.

  Dan was in the middle of telling Alice about his hilarious childhood growing up in the East End when her phone rang. It was Kevin.

  ‘Where are you? It’s two thirty. There are three patients waiting for you.’

  ‘Oh, my God!’ Alice looked at her watch. ‘I’m on my way.’

  She stood up and grabbed her coat and bag. ‘I have to run. I had no idea it was so late. I was … I was …’

  ‘Having a good time?’ Dan suggested, helping her into her coat.

  Alice smiled. ‘Yes. I was having a lovely time. Thank you.’

  ‘It was my pleasure. I had a nice time too. Lenny, my driver, will run you back to your surgery.’

  ‘No, it’s fine.’

  Dan put his hands on her shoulders and leant in from behind. ‘I insist. I kept you here so it’s my fault you’re late.’

  Alice could smell his aftershave and felt the slight stubble of his chin on her cheek and his breath in her ear. Her heart began to race. She felt her body coming back to life. She bent her head to stop Dan seeing her blush. She felt like a teenager. It was so silly … and yet very real.

  Dan led her out of a side door, where a black Mercedes with tinted windows and a uniformed driver were waiting. He kissed her cheek. ‘I really enjoyed today. May I call you?’

  Alice was going to say no – it was too soon – but she stopped herself. She wanted to see Dan again. She had really enjoyed being with him. It was fun and kind of exciting. It was lovely to be treated and looked after. She’d been drowning under responsibility and decision-making for so long.

  She kissed his cheek and whispered, ‘Yes.’

  Ben: June 2014

  Declan wiped the sweat from Ben’s face with a cool cloth. He gently lifted his head and tried to get him to drink some water, but Ben retched and spat it out.

  ‘Come on, Ben, you have to drink a little,’ Declan pleaded.

  ‘I’m trying but I just – Oh, nooo.’ Ben tried to hobble to the corner of the tent but the chain prevented him. He grabbed a bowl, closing his eyes with shame and mortification, and crouched over it, his insides falling into it. ‘I’m sorry, mate,’ he said. ‘It’s out of my control.’ Sweat was pouring down his face.

  Declan patted him on the back. ‘It’s nothing. Let me deal with it.’

  Declan took the stinking bowl and shouted for the guard, Nebay, who flung back the tent flap and glared at them. Declan shoved the putrid bowl in his face. ‘We need to be unchained. Ben has to get outside to shit and I need to get fluids to hydrate him.’

  Nebay shouted, ‘No outside.’

  ‘He’s sick, you stupid dickhead. I need to get medicine.’ Declan pointed to the tent where they operated and kept the medicine.

  ‘No outside.’ Nebay cocked his gun and pointed it at Declan.

  Declan gestured at the bowl. ‘What the hell am I supposed to do with this?’

  ‘You stay.’

  ‘I want to speak to Awate,’ Declan said.

  They heard a shuffling and Eyob appeared at the door. Taking in the scene, he shook his head. ‘Awate is sleeping. You stay here.’

  ‘For Christ’s sake, he’s sick, Eyob. He’s sick – he can’t shit in here all night.’

  Eyob shrugged. ‘You shut up. You no shout me.’

  ‘For God’s sake,’ Declan said, losing his temper. ‘You can’t treat Ben like this after all he’s done for you lot and your families.’

  ‘You shut up!’ Eyob shoved his gun into Declan’s face.

  ‘Stop, please. Stop,’ Ben croaked.

  Declan was shaking with rage and Ben was terrified he was
going to attack Eyob. ‘Declan, it’s okay.’

  ‘No, it fucking isn’t.’ Declan’s eyes glistened with tears. ‘They can’t treat you like this.’

  ‘You can go, Eyob, it’s fine,’ Ben said.

  ‘You shut up now,’ Eyob warned Declan, and retreated from the stench of the tent.

  ‘Bastards,’ Declan spat.

  ‘It’s okay, don’t get … Ooooh …’ Ben soiled himself.

  Declan cleaned him up, using the water jug they had and a T-shirt.

  ‘I’m so sorry. This is above and beyond,’ Ben said, as sweat dripped down his face and body.

  Declan rolled him onto the clean side of the mattress. ‘Hey, I’ve seen a lot worse than this.’

  ‘It’s humiliating,’ Ben said.

  ‘They’re treating you like an animal and I’m going to see Awate tomorrow, Ben. This is not okay.’

  ‘No, it really isn’t. You’re right, we have to make a stand. Oh, God …’

  Ben was ill all night, and by the next morning they had no clean clothes, both mattresses were badly soiled and the tent stank.

  When Yonas came to unchain them and bring them their breakfast, he was shocked by what he found. Declan filled him in as best he could and Yonas helped Declan to carry Ben to the operating tent. Ben was weak and had a high temperature.

  Declan washed him properly and set him down on a clean sheet with a large bucket by his side. He tried to get him to drink some water but, again, Ben couldn’t hold anything down.

  Declan stayed by his side, cleaning him up and changing his sheet every few hours. Ben was getting weaker by the minute.

  ‘If the surgery doesn’t work out, you’d make a damn good nurse,’ Ben muttered.

  ‘I wiped an arse or two in my early days, but yours is an ugly sight.’

  ‘At least it’s not hairy like yours.’

  ‘I’ve had no complaints about my arse.’

  ‘Alice always said she liked mine. She said it was pert.’

  ‘Alice needs to go to Specsavers.’

  ‘Alice has impeccable taste.’

  ‘I can’t wait to meet Alice and compare notes on sharing a room with you.’

  ‘You’ll love her, she’s –’

  ‘Gorgeous, smart, funny, kind and thoughtful. Yeah, I know, you’ve only told me a trillion times.’