Indulge

by Liv Morris

  “No. I’ll go with you,” she finally says with a smile. I watch as her eyes slowly travel the length of my body where they come to rest on my hard dick through my pants. I can’t hide my smile. That’s what I thought. I lean over and kiss her as I let me hand trail up her shirt and grab her breast over her bra. Her hand instantly goes to my pants. Fuck, I am so horny I could do it right here in the car.

  I pull away. “Let’s get to the hotel first.”

  “I could take care of you on the way.” She leans over as I exit the parking lot. Fuck, I knew I liked her for a reason.

  She unzips my pants and takes me into her mouth. I try concentrating on the feel of her tongue, but all I can think about is that voice saying my name. Doesn’t fucking matter what I do, Samantha is still there, in my mind.

  I try to push her out of my mind as I start pumping my hips and fuck Julie’s mouth. I grit my teeth, trying not to show how fucking awful she is. I try thinking about Samantha again, trying to ignore the piercing feeling of Julie’s teeth. I could just stop her, but who the fuck cares? I’d rather have her suck my dick, then listen to all the questions she could be asking me.

  I pull on her hair to remove her from my dick once I park the car. She follows me through the lobby and we enter the elevator. She moves her body flush to mine, bringing her lips up to kiss me. I push her back a bit, and grab her hand as the elevator opens. I don’t want to kiss her. I just want to fuck. I’m fucking horny as hell, and pissed off at myself. Samantha has too much control of my thoughts.

  I close the door behind her, and grab my wallet out of my back pocket for a condom as I unzip my pants. I turn around, and she’s already kicking her jeans off. At least we are on the same page.

  “Where do you want me?” She licks her lips as she walks towards me.

  I roll the condom over my dick, then walk up to her, turn her around, and bend her over the couch. “Right here will work,” I say as I plunge into her.

  I lay on the bed in Micah and Holly’s spare bedroom, looking up at the ceiling and thinking about what I’m going to do next. My life has completely changed in a day. My heart hurts. It’s broken. I loved him as much as I could, yet it wasn’t enough. Is love ever enough when it comes to a relationship? I don’t think anyone really knows.

  The more I think about why I moved here with him, the more I realize the reasons had to do more with me than him. There had been nothing left for me in Dallas anymore. I was only there for school. My parents were divorced. My mom lives in Tulsa, Oklahoma with her current husband, lucky number 4.

  My dad also lived in Tulsa, and owned a large very well-known concrete company. He couldn’t even speak my mother’s name without his face turning red with rage. They had divorced when I was very young, so I don’t even remember how life was when our family was together, or why they even divorced. My parents never spoke of it.

  He passed away in a car wreck at the beginning of my high school senior year. When he passed away, we’d found out he had left me everything in his will, including his house, two vehicles, and his company. We were all pretty shocked about that one but after I gave it some thought, I don’t know why it had surprised me. He had never remarried, and I’m an only child.

  My dad always planned for the future and the unexpected. When he passed away, his attorney had letters he had written for me regarding the company. They informed me that he wanted me to sell it. He knew I wouldn’t want to run the business, and he had a guy that had wanted to buy it for years. He left me a name and number to contact. The attorney and I met with the man that was interested in Dad’s business. I about had a heart attack when I saw his offer for the company and all the equipment that went along with it. I told him that was way too much money, but he said that was the price he told my dad he would pay.

  My relationship with my mom was never the same. My mom and I were always close, but I was a daddy’s girl. When my dad passed away and left me everything, it put a big strain on my relationship with my mother. She thought I was too young for it and should hand it over to her. Dad’s attorney advised against that. Once I told her I was selling it, we no longer spoke. I pretty much spent my entire senior year locked in my bedroom, or just stayed at my dad’s house.

  The only thing that saved me was my best friend Courtney. We spent every waking moment together before I decided to choose a college outside of Oklahoma. I wanted as far away from my mother as possible.

  It was hard at first.

  Actually, it’s still hard.

  My thoughts drift from my parents to Jax.

  I’d met him my sophomore year in college, but we didn’t start dating until my senior year. After seeing my parents’ marriage fail, and watching all the other marriages my mother had fell apart, I didn’t feel like I was ready. Why would I want to put myself through all of that? I didn’t need anyone, and I would have rather been alone than go through different men. But from the first time we’d met at a coffee shop, to him constantly asking me out until I finally said yes, he’d never given up on me. We’d become best friends before we’d become a couple. I thought that was the right way to start out. Now, I’m not so sure.

  I try to hate him for what he did to me. But I can’t. Maybe it was me. What if I wasn’t able to love him enough like you’re supposed to? The one question I can’t stop asking is why didn’t he just break up with me before he slept with her, rather than have someone on the side? And for that matter, how many have there been? But the thing is, I knew that there was someone else. I just didn’t want to acknowledge the thought that he could treat me like I was nothing to him.

  Now I ask myself the most important question…

  Why didn’t I leave him when I thought there was another woman? There had been plenty of signs with the lack of sex and the way he ignored me while he was at home. How he would get all defensive when I would ask where he was going or what he was doing? I could ask myself a million questions, but it wouldn’t matter what answers I had. The bottom line was that he cheated and because of that, I left.

  I still haven’t cried. I just feel like the tears would be wasted. I guess that could be my first clue to how I feel about him. I don’t know if my mind is in shock or maybe in overload. I’m such an idiot.

  This evening I’d sat in the living room with Micah and Holly, and true to her word, we all sat in silence. I felt so bad for ruining their evening and told them to go on out, but Micah refused.

  I do know one thing. I came to this town for me. Not Jax. And I have found the two best friends that a girl could ask for.

  With a sigh, I roll over and close my eyes, I need to start looking for a house in St. Louis tomorrow. This town has become my home, and I’m not leaving it.

  I wake up, having gotten little rest, but on a mission. I get out of bed and walk out of the bedroom. Once in the hallway, I can hear voices coming from the kitchen.

  “We need to help her,” I hear Holly say.

  “I plan on it. You think I would let her go back over there to get her stuff alone?” Micah sounds insulted.

  I don’t feel right eavesdropping, so I clear my throat and walk in the kitchen. They both turn to look at me as I give them a small smile. “I heard you guys talking about helping me. You don’t have to go. I can do it on my own.” I don’t want to put them in the middle of this.

  “Are you crazy? Of course we are going to help you.” Micah gives me a look like I’ve lost my mind, then starts pouring everyone coffee in travel mugs.

  “What about work? Don’t you have to work today?” I take a sip of my coffee.

  “I took off half a day. I’ll go in later.” He grabs his keys off the counter and walks to the front door.

  We leave their house heading towards my old place. My heart is racing; I don’t want to see Jax. I’ve been telling myself this happened for a reason, but what if it’s too hard to move out all of my stuff? What if he begs me to stay? Worse, what if she is there and all my stuff is on the front porch?

  My mind
is asking itself so many questions that the entire car ride to Jax’s is silent. Micah is in front of us in his new, white Ford pickup truck, and Holly and I are following him in my car. I only want my clothes, shoes and personal stuff. Everything else he can do with whatever he wants. I don’t want anything that will remind me of him or us. I’m starting a new chapter of my life today, so I want everything to be new and fresh.

  As I pull up to the house, Jax is already coming to meet us outside. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. It is not any easier seeing him today than it was yesterday. I open my eyes again, and remind myself our entire relationship has been a lie and I won’t let him see how much he has hurt me.

  “Couldn’t come by yourself, Sam? Had to bring some muscles?” he says smugly, watching Micah climb out of his truck.

  “We just want to help her get her stuff without any problems.” Micah lifts his hands up in the air.

  “Yeah?” Jax rubs his chin as if he is contemplating something. I used to find that sexy, but now I find it disturbing. “Well, it’s where she left it.” He leans over a bit and gestures his hand to the front door, still looking at Micah. Micah nods, and we all follow Jax into the house. My heart is no longer pounding, and I’m actually relieved to see that more than anything, his attitude is pissing me off.

  We waste no time throwing clothes into the trunk of my car and Micah’s back seat. I want to get out of here as fast as possible so I feel like I’m running back and forth from my car to the house. Jax hasn’t said a word since we’ve entered the house. He has just sat on the end of the bed, watching the three of us load up all of my belongings.

  Holly and Micah get the last load of clothes. I grab all the letters from my dad out of the nightstand and stick them in my purse, then move to the bathroom to pack up my makeup, toiletries, and all that stuff a girl can’t live without.

  “What are you doing?”

  I spin around and my heart rate picks up. Jax is standing in the doorway of the bathroom.

  “Packing up my stuff.”

  “No, I mean what are you doing? Why are you leaving me?” He leans up against the door jam.

  I’m starting to get pissy. “Because I walked in on you having sex with someone else.”

  “But I don’t want to break up.” He smiles and it gives me goose bumps; the kind of goose bumps that scream danger. He pushes off the doorframe and starts to move toward me. I look to the hall behind him, panicking. Where are Micah and Holly?

  My heart is pounding and my skin gets clammy. “Stay right there,” I demand, putting my hands up.

  “Come on, babe, you know we’re good together. Can we just forget this ever happened?” His brown eyes are on mine, and that disturbing smile is still plastered on his face as he saunters towards me. He’s getting too close to me now, so I decide to run past him, but he catches my arm and pushes us out into the hall. He is holding my arm so tightly that I cry out.

  “Let go!” I scream. I try to pull away, but he has a death grip on my arm. “Let go of me, Jax!” I yell in his face. He’s never acted this way before, and I don’t know how far he will take it.

  That vicious smile drops off his face as he narrows his brown eyes at me. “No!” He growls. “I will not let go because you’re not leaving. You are such a little bitch, Sam. You think you can just walk away from me?” I see him lift his right hand, and I think for a second he’s going to hit me. I take both my hands and shove him, making him release my arm.

  Before he can come towards me again, Micah has him pushed up against the far wall. “Don’t ever touch her or talk to her like that again, or I will beat the fuck out of you.” Micah’s face is inches from Jax.

  Jax laughs, and it’s the most terrifying laugh I have ever heard. “You think he’s your friend?” He looks past Micah to me. “He’s not.” He looks back at Micah, who is still holding him up against the wall. “He knew I was with Bridgette the other night, but didn’t tell you.”

  Micah punches him in the face. Blood instantly starts pouring from Jax’s nose.

  “Fuck!” Jax cries out.

  I look to Holly, who’s looking at Micah, opened mouth. Then I look to Micah. “I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about, so you better quit lying.” Micah pushes Jax up against the wall one last time before he lets him go.

  “Of course you do. Slade walked into the room that night when I was with Bridgette, but told Sam I was just sleeping. Don’t tell me he didn’t tell you, Micah?” He has a cocky smile on his face as he tries to catch the blood running from his nose.

  I feel my blood start to boil. Slade knew what was going on? Why didn’t he tell me the truth? Why would he lie to me? I mean, he doesn’t know me, but still. I told him I was Jax’s girlfriend. Why would Slade let him bring another girl there? Maybe he didn’t know Jax had a girlfriend until I called. He didn’t even act like he knew Jax when I called.

  I’m so confused. Why would Slade help look for him if he knew he was there with another woman? That doesn’t make any sense. Why not just say, ‘No, he’s not here’ and leave it at that?

  I hear commotion and look up to see the guys fighting. They are lying on the ground with Micah on top of Jax. I swear I can hear bones crushing as Micah punches Jax in the face. They’re both grunting, and there’s blood on the floor beside them. Micah gets up off of Jax, but Jax stands and starts to run for Micah.

  I get in his way.

  His hands make contact on my chest as he pushes me, and I fall back, hitting my head on something sharp and getting an instant headache. There are more voices, but I can’t quite make out what they are saying.

  Everything goes black.

  When I open my eyes, I realize two things. One, I have a pounding headache, and two, the smell of cleaners fill my nose as I look around the white walls, machinery and I’m lying on a rather small, uncomfortable bed.

  I’m in a hospital.

  “Miss Hall?” I look over to see an older gray haired man in a white coat is standing next to the bed.

  “Yes?” Ow.

  I put my hand up to the back of my head, feeling a small bandage. My head is pounding so hard that it feels like it may explode.

  “I’m Doctor Mathers. How are you feeling?” He looks down at a chart, then back up at me.

  “What happened?” I rub the back of my head, gently trying to remember why I would be in a hospital.

  “From what I was told, you were pushed and fell down hitting your head. You required a few stitches, but the results came back from your CT scan and everything looks normal.”

  I nod my head as memories start to come back of the guys fighting and Jax shoving me out of his way.

  “You will experience headaches. They are going to come and go.” He starts writing something down. “If you experience dizziness, ringing of the ears, loss of concentration, or nausea, please don’t hesitate to come back.” He rips a piece of paper off of the pad and hands it to me. “I have written you a prescription for mild painkillers and some anti-nausea tablets. Take them if you need them.”

  “Thank you,” I say quietly.

  He nods his head. “I need to send in someone from administration to get all of your insurance information. I’m going to go and get the paperwork started for your release. Do you have any questions or need anything?”

  “Can you send my friend Holly in, please?” I know she must be somewhere in this hospital.

  “Of course. I’ll be back one more time to check a few things before they release you.” He stands up and walks towards the door.

  “Thank you.” I rest my head back on the bed, and take in a few deep breaths. How could I have been so wrong about Jax all of this time? He had never laid a hand on me before. I had never imagined that he would try to hit me. I take in another deep breath. My head may be pounding like a drum, but my heart is no longer broken.

  It’s free.

  What he did freed me. I no longer have to wonder what he is up to, or whether he’s lying to me. I no longer h
ave to try and please him. All I have to worry about is myself.

  Chapter Four

  I walk out of the court room with a smile on my face, even though I’m exhausted. I’ve been up since 5:30AM. I put Julie in a cab after we fucked last night. I wasn’t going to make the mistake of letting her stay the night, so I told her I had to be up early. She tried to get my number, but I told her it wouldn’t matter, reminding her that I didn’t live here. She was hurt by that, but there was no need. I wasn’t going to see her again.

  I walk into the office and sit in my chair, placing my head on the desk. I am exhausted. I tell myself all the time that I’m not going to go out, that I’m not going to drink, but I always do and I’m always paying for it the next day. That has been my life since high school, though I keep trying to remind myself that I am no longer a teenager.

  I lift my head and pick up my phone. I need to call my brother and see how things are going at the office back at home.

  “Hello?” He picks up on the second ring, sounding just as tired as I am.

  “Hey man, what’s going on? You sound hung over. Did you guys go out last night?” I place my head in my hand as I wait for him to answer.

  “Paging Dr. Leon. Dr. Leon, floor 6.”

  “What the fuck was that?” Why would my brother be at a hospital?

  “That was a nurse, paging a doctor,” he says dryly.

  “Micah, what the fuck is going on?” I’m starting to lose patience. If something is wrong, why hadn’t he already called me?

  “We are at the hospital,” he says reluctantly.

  “Why?” I start to panic. “Are you okay?”

  “Does it matter?” He sounds mad at me. What the fuck did I do?