Indulge

by Liv Morris

  “Oh god! Jacob!” I scream. I feel my orgasm building inside me. I move Thor faster and rub harder. As my muscles tighten with the intensity of Thor and my touch, I come all over. The orgasm takes me away as I take out Thor and put him in my mouth. I move Thor in and out of my mouth. I push him all the way in and imagine deep throating Jacob. I start playing with myself again. Damn I need Jacob. I need him to make me feel like a woman; to make me feel whole.

  *****

  With each day that passes, I grow increasingly impatient thinking about when I’ll see Jacob again. I let out an appreciative sigh, thinking about each night with Thor while thinking about Jacob. My cheeks get pink and I start laughing quietly to myself.

  I stand in my kitchen preparing dinner when Heather and Lucas come in. Lucas gives me a hug and looks up at me, “Mama! Aunt Heather took me to the park and we played Frisbee and we ran around. It was so fun!”

  I put down the wooden spoon and set it aside. I get down on my knees and give my precious son a kiss on the forehead. “Sweetie I’m so glad. Can you go wash up and get ready for dinner?”

  “Yes Mama.” Lucas throws his little arms around my neck, “you’re the best Mama in the whole world,” he whispers in my ear.

  “You’re the best son in the whole world.” I squeeze his tiny body to mine and never want to let go.

  “Okay Mama! Let me go!” He wiggles out of my arms and runs to the bathroom.

  I get up and start stirring the pasta. “Thanks again Heather. I appreciate it. It’s almost the end of the year and I’m just so busy getting everything set up for meetings and planning the end-of-the-year party.”

  Heather sits down and plays with her phone. I notice her silence but don’t say anything. “Why did you go see Jacob?”

  Crap, I think. Still stirring the pasta.

  “Francesca texted me and said that you went into his office and yelled at him?”

  “I didn’t yell, I just called him a few names.” I turn around and look at her. “I just want you to be happy. I’m your older sister and I want to protect you.”

  “Ugh I know A but I need to figure this out for myself. I’m twenty-six years old. You don’t always have to protect me.”

  A tear falls from my eye. I know she’s right but how can I not want to protect the second most important person in my life. I hate seeing her sad and broken. She’s too talented to feel this way. The feeling of pain and failure runs through me. I’m supposed to be caring for her and ensuring that no one hurts her. That’s the role of an older sister. We only have each other since our parents are in Florida.

  Heather walks over to me and rests her head on my shoulder, “I love you big sis.”

  “Love you too little sis.”

  Dinner is ready and we enjoy the pasta with bread, broccoli and chicken. Lucas is happy tonight. My little guy keeps talking about the park and how he wants to travel the world.

  “Lucas sweetie why do you want to go to Florida?” Heather and I look at one another as we laugh.

  “Mama I mean Disney! I want to go on the rides. I want to meet Mickey and all of my favorite characters! Come on mama can we go please!”

  “Yeah A, can we go? Please!”

  I shake my head, “Yes sure no problem. I’ll pull money from the sky and we can all go and have fun!”

  Heather and Lucas high five each other; my family is something special.

  I help Lucas get into bed and he looks at me, “Mama?”

  I push his hair to the side, “Yes baby?”

  “When are you going to be happy?”

  I’m taken aback from his question. Can he see how lonely I am? How I wish I had someone holding me through the night and telling me they love me? “Lucas honey. Mama’s so happy because she has you and Aunt Heather. You two are my world and we’ll always be together.”

  Lucas sits up and blinks his eyes a few times before talking. “But Mama. You are beautiful.” He touches my cheek with his little hand. “I want to see my Mama smile.”

  I try not to break down in front of my six year old son. I clench my butt cheeks and count to ten in my head. “I love you baby boy. Mama loves you so much.” I bring him into my arms and hold him there for a while. This moment is our moment - our perfect moment.

  After putting Lucas in bed, I decide it’s time to go for a run and clear my head. I put on my shorts, a tank top and sneakers. I stretch a little and then grab my iPod. I put in my ear buds, pick out my workout playlist and head out. I start running and breathing in the night air. “Tearin’ Up My Heart” by N’Sync rings through my ear. “Of course this song comes on,” I mutter.

  I keep running. I shake out thoughts of Jacob. Focus on running, Abigail.

  I make a left turn into the park. I keep running but more of Jacob comes to my mind. His face and voice plays through my mind. I slow down and put my hands on my head. Trying to catch my breath I start walking. I see a bench and make my way over. I sit down and look at the crystal clear lake. The calm water allows me to breathe in and out. I feel better. After a few minutes, I get up from the bench and start walking back home.

  I make it back without any problems. Heather and Lucas are asleep so I’m quiet as I walk upstairs.

  Bath time.

  I walk into my bathroom, turn on the water, pour some bath salts and strip off my sweaty clothes. I get my phone and pick “How’s It Going to Be” by Third Eye Blind. I turn off the water and step into the tub.

  I feel my muscles relaxing and lean my head back. I listen to the words and start to cry.

  “Ugh why am I being such a girl?” I wipe my tears when my phone starts to go off. I reach over to grab it when I see a text message from a number I don’t recognize. “What?” Puzzled, I open the message.

  Unknown: I hope you are well.

  “What?” I quickly send a response.

  Me: Thanks but who is this?

  Unknown: Ms. Anderson. I’m insulted and a bit hurt that you don’t know who this is.

  My pulse quickens when I sit up in the tub. Holy shit. Jacob Green is texting me! Why is he texting me? I try to steady my breathing but can’t stop the quivering breaths. “I can do this,” I whisper to myself.

  Me: Ah, Jacob Greene now why are you texting me?

  Jacob: Feeling feisty tonight Ms. Anderson?

  I can’t believe he has the nerve to sit there and text me. Why am I giving him the time and day? Palm to face, “Because you want this, Abigail,” I whisper. It is true. I do like that he is texting me but I don’t want to be his newest play thing.

  Me: How can I help you Mr. Greene?

  Jacob: Just wondering how you’re doing Ms. Anderson.

  Me: Well I was enjoying a nice and quiet bath until I was rudely interrupted.

  Jacob: Oh. My apologies. Please, don’t let me keep you from your bath. I hope the water is nice and warm enough for that beautiful body of yours.

  My hand flies up to my mouth and a slight tingling runs through my body. With a groan, I find the courage to text him back.

  Me: Well I guess that’s for me to know and you to never find out.

  Jacob: I beg to differ.

  Me: What do you mean?

  Jacob: I know I’m on your mind Ms. Anderson.

  Me: You’re so full of yourself. I’m going to bed. Good night!

  Jacob: Well, I hope you sleep well. Good night and sweet dreams beautiful.

  Oh. Fuck. My. Life.

  I put my phone away and lower myself into the tub. My head is pounding from the little game with Jacob. Why did he text me? I lean my head against the shower wall and play with the loofa in the water. I can’t process much at this point as I close my eyes tightly and remember the pain of being alone.

  Ryan.

  I lift my head out of the water and shake my head. I can’t think about Ryan anymore. He’s in my past and I deserve to move on and be happy. I lift up the drain stopper in the tub and slowly get out. I grab my towel and wrap it around myself. I head back to my bedroom an
d change into my pink cotton shorts and a plain black shirt. I get under my covers and my mind goes off the deep end again. I quickly sit up on my bed and text Heather.

  Me: Are you up?

  Heather: Yeah, just watching TV. What’s up?

  Me: Can you come up to my room?

  I wait for her response and am about to text her again when I hear footsteps close by. The door opens and Heather pops her head in, “You alright?”

  I shake my head. “I need your advice.”

  Heather comes into my room and sits on my bed. “Is it boy problems?”

  I laugh. “Kind of and let me know if you think I’m crazy.”

  “Shoot.”

  “So Jacob texted me and I texted him back and he’s all I think about! What the hell do I do?”

  Heather covers her mouth and falls on my bed laughing. She sits back up and grabs my hands. “This is so great! Okay, okay. So you have to play it cool. Jacob Greene is used to always getting what he wants so play the game hard!”

  “What? What game? And you’re not mad?”

  “The love game, Abigail. Don’t make it so easy. Let him chase you! If he texts you, wait a little bit before texting him. Play hard to get!” Heather’s excitement throws me back. She takes my hand, “Yeah it sucks that you’re falling for my ex boss but I’ll give anything to see you happy again A.”

  “Thanks Heather.” We hug and it feels better knowing she’s on my side.

  “Plus, I heard he fucks like a God!”

  I fall back on my pillows and grab one to put over my face. I let out a yell and shake my head. Why is dating so hard? Heather lifts the pillow from my face and smiles. “I can do this, right?”

  “Oh yes you can and you will!”

  Chapter 7

  Jacob

  I’ve been working countless hours and traveling to and from California to finalize a few contracts. Things have been busy but good. Everything seems to be coming together and with these contracts, the company will be bringing in another ten million.

  California was fun and it was nice to get away from everyone so I can clear my head. Madison has been texting me every day telling me how sorry she was and how much she missed me. I called my cell phone provider and had my number changed. Dealing with Madison was something I couldn’t handle anymore. No more flings or hookups. Women are fucking crazy.

  I get my things together and double-check my hotel room to make sure I have everything. My car brings me to the airport and I board without any issues. I put in my ear buds and let the music take me away.

  My plane lands just before midnight; Gary gathers my things as I get in the back of the SUV. I turn my phone back on and read the hundreds of emails. My head starts pounding. I text Logan and let him know I’m back and to follow-up with me tomorrow. I put my phone away and lean my head back on the headrest. I close my eyes and start to steady my breathing. I think about Abigail and wonder what she’s doing. I have her information and I want to call her but I stop before I can press send on my phone.

  I make it back home and pour a glass of scotch. I turn on the television, prop my feet on the coffee table and lean back. A hand strokes my arm and I look over to my right.

  Katherine.

  “Hi sweetheart.”

  She shows me her amazing smile that always makes me grow weak. “How are you, Jacob?”

  “I’m fine.” I reach over to her and squeeze her hand. “I miss you.”

  “I miss you too, but you need to keep trying.”

  I look at her and I’m a little lost. “What do you mean?”

  “You’ll see.” She leans in and gives me a kiss on my cheek. “Just be patient.”

  And then she’s gone. I open and close my eyes a few times. I think about talking to Logan about this but a part of me stops. This is okay, I’m not going crazy. I finish my drink and turn off the television. I check the locks on my door and turn off the lights.

  Creak.

  There’s a noise from far away. I look around but do not see anything. “Huh weird,” I mumble. The kitchen lights are on. I take one last look around my loft and head to bed. My clothes come off and when my head hits the pillows I fall asleep.

  “Jacob. Are you awake?” The soft voice echoes in my ear. “Wake up baby.”

  Slowly I open my eyes.

  Madison!? What the fuck?

  I get up and stare at her, “What the hell are you doing here? How the fuck did you get in?”

  Sadness builds on her face. She is wearing a black silk robe that is tight around her body. “Jacob, I just wanted to come and say hi. We haven’t talked and I miss you.”

  “You’re crazy!” My anger is rising and I think about how insane she is being. “Did you copy my fucking key?” My fierce tone startles her and I need her to answer me. “Well?”

  Her eyes widen open and terror glazes her eyes. I burn my eyes into her but she sits there in silence. “No more fucking childish games Madison. Leave. Now!”

  She tilts her head to the side and smiles. “You don’t mean that Jacob.” Her body comes close to mine. Her lips are on my chest as she makes her way up to my lips. “Come on,” she softly speaks, “You want this. I know you do.”

  I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. I don’t want to lose my temper on her. “Madison,” I lean in to her, “Leave. I won’t ask you this again. Do you understand me?”

  Madison slightly nods her head and leaves. “I love you Jacob. You’ll see.”

  I get up to follow her out. When she is at the door, she turns around to face me. There are tears streaming down her face. I wish I’d never done this to her but at the time it seemed to be a good thing. “Good night Madison.”

  “Night,” I close the door and deadbolt it behind her and head back to bed.

  The next morning I call the maintenance crew and demand them to change the locks on all of my doors and install a security system. They assure me everything will be done in a few hours. I hang up the phone and make my way to the bathroom.

  I still can’t believe Madison came over last night. I go through my closet and pick out what to wear. I select my light gray slim fitting Armani suit with a light blue button down and a blue diagonal style tie. I slip on my silver Bulova watch and fix my hair.

  Heading to the kitchen, I grab a bottle of water and an apple. Sitting on the bar stool images of the women in my life come to me. Katherine. Audrina. Madison. These women deserve better than me and I won’t use them for my own satisfaction. With all the crap that is in my life, I have to do something right. I take a bite into my red apple. The crisp taste lingers in my mouth as I plan out my idea.

  I can’t stop thinking about Abigail and that pretty mouth of hers. No one stands up to me but she did. She didn’t have fear in her eyes. The confidence around her is evident. She’s a fighter. I want a fighter. I want someone who will show me and put me in my place. I place my apple on the counter and reflect my life. No more messing around with women. No more emotionless sex. I can’t have another Madison. I want Abigail.

  I give myself a quick check in the mirror before heading out. When I get outside, Gary opens the car door for me.

  “Thank you.”

  I slide in and pull up Heather’s contact information. I give Gary the information of where I need to go before heading to the office. After Gary starts driving, I send a text message to Logan.

  Me: Hey I’ll be late coming in. I need to do something.

  Logan: Fill me in later.

  Me: Will do

  I put my phone back in my pocket. I’m not sure about how I’ll handle this but I hope it’ll turn out well. I look out the window and see all the passing buildings and cars. The sun is out and the humidity is high today. The Columbia air is heavy. Gary has the air conditioning turned up high. I try to relax as he turns left. I look at the small houses and wonder, which is hers. Gary pulls in the driveway and puts the car in park. He gets out and comes to open my door. I get out and look at the light brown colored house. It’s
small; a one-story house with a one car garage. There’s a garden full of flowers and a tree in the front of the house.

  “Mr. Greene do you need me to do anything?”

  “Just wait here. I shouldn’t be too long.”

  I make my way to the front door and ring the doorbell. I straighten out my clothes and wipe my hands against my pants. I’m not sure what to expect or what to say. After about a minute, I ring the doorbell again. I walk away from the door to look in the window but just as I’m about to walk off the cement porch, the door opens. I quickly look up and see Heather wide eyed looking at me. Her hair is in a ponytail and she’s wearing white shorts with a black ribbed tank top.

  “Uhh Mr. Greene?”

  I walk back to the door and give her a smile. “Morning Heather. May I come in?” Without hesitation, she lets me in. I walk inside and immediately notice the pictures all over the living room. There’s a family portrait with Heather, Abigail, their parents and a little boy. I wonder who that little boy is. I look around the living room and see toys in the corner.

  “How can I help you Mr. Greene?” She asks with question and fear in her voice.

  I turn back to face her. I can see how nervous she is and I start to feel bad. I know I’ve been an asshole and I don’t deserve this chance but I want to do the right thing. “Heather can we sit down please?”

  “Sure.” She starts walking and I follow. We walk into the kitchen and I take a seat at the table. There are papers neatly stacked in the corner. I look over at the refrigerator and notice some of the pictures and drawings. One of the drawings stands out to me. It’s a little boy holding hands with two women. The handwriting is hard to read but I make it out. The woman on the left has the mommy written above her head, the little boy has the name Lucas written beneath his feet and the woman on his right has the name Aunt Heather written above her head. Abigail has a son?

  “Mr. Greene here’s some coffee.” I immediately turn to her and whisper thanks. “So I don’t want to be rude but why are you here?”

  I take a sip of the hot coffee. I smile. Heather remembers how I like my coffee. Black. I hate creamer and sugar. “Heather I apologize for this unexpected visit but I wanted to stop by and see how you are doing.”