Night Sky

by Jolene Perry

  “Good.” I squeeze her waist again. “Maybe next time I could help you in the shower.”

  She pulls away shaking her head, but she’s smiling. “Then it wouldn’t be spontaneous.”

  “I don’t think I’d care if it was spontaneous or not.” I let myself grin as wide as I want.

  “You’re shameless, Jay.” She bends forward to kiss the top of my head.

  I hear the door of the house open and close. I look around Sky to see Mom through the glass. She pauses when she sees us, then heads for her room.

  “Your Mom needs you.” She leans down and kisses me.

  I part my lips for more, but she’s already backed away. “Can I see you tomorrow?” I ask.

  “I’m…” She frowns. “I’m busy tomorrow.”

  “All day?” Do I seem desperate?

  “Not all day, but I’m not sure for how long and…” She’s mumbling—something she never does. She looks away, and I suddenly feel shut out of whatever’s going on tomorrow.

  “Hey, is everything okay?” I touch her cheek lightly to get her to look at me. It takes a second before she lets her eyes reach mine. It’s so unlike her.

  “It’s stuff that’s going on at home…a clan meeting. I can’t be there in person so they’re going to patch me in via speakerphone. It’s just hard being so far away from everything.” She stands up, letting out a long breath.

  I feel like I’m not helping her as much as I should. “Sky, I…” Wait a minute. “Does this have something to do with your brother?” I’ve been meaning to ask her about him since our trip to Red Rock.

  “Kind of…it’s just clan stuff. I’m part of the group, so I should be involved.” It seems like she’s trying too hard…but why? “My brother is supposed to be involved, but he doesn’t always show up.”

  I’m not sure what to say. How do I call her on it? Because I don’t think she’s telling the truth.

  “Your mom needs you, Jay. Call me later if you want, but don’t leave your mom until you know that she’s okay.” She stands up with the soft, liquid movement that’s just part of Sky.

  Maybe she’ll tell me tomorrow. Maybe it’s just stuff that’s important to her as a clan member, but might not make sense to me.

  Mom walks back through the living room into the kitchen. She’s changed into her workout pants and a t-shirt. Not a good sign for whatever passed between her and Dad.

  The problem with helping Mom is that it makes me angry with Dad. It’s really hard to help someone when you’re mad at the person who is the cause of that pain. Especially when that person has hurt you, too.

  Sky disappears out the gate. Thanks Dad for ruining a perfectly good afternoon. I know I need to help Mom, but I’m just tired. I take longer in the shower than I need to and when the hot water starts to run out, I know I’ve run out of excuses.

  Mom is sitting on the couch. The TV is on, but I don’t think she’s actually watching it. Her face is flat and her eyes are vacant.

  “Didn’t go well?” I ask, sitting next to her.

  “It’s just so…” She looks empty, resigned. “It’s just that I never thought this would be something your dad and I would ever have to deal with.”

  Me neither. “Did he say anything about coming home?” Why am I so hopeful? Right now, I can’t stand the guy.

  Mom wipes away her tears and takes a breath. I’m a jerk for even asking. “No, he just wants to see you. I told him you have a swim meet this week. I’m gonna skip it so he can go to this one.”

  “That’s ridiculous! I don’t want…” But I can’t finish the sentence. I want them both to be there, but why torture Mom with this? And it sucks too because she’s here doing the daily stuff, but Dad is the one who gets to come to the meet. This will be the second meet Mom’s missed ever. The only other one she didn’t attend was when she had pneumonia and couldn’t get out of bed. But I guess at least Dad wants to come. That’s something, right?

  “I don’t want to be around your dad right now. Will it be okay if I’m not there?” Her large brown eyes meet mine.

  “It’s okay, Mom. Whatever’s easiest for you.” It sucks seeing Mom such a mess.

  “I’m sorry about all of this.” She blinks a few times and has to wipe more tears from her eyes.

  “You shouldn’t be. Dad should be sorry about all of this. He still hasn’t even returned my call.” I need a punching bag. Seeing Mom cry like this hits a nerve inside of me that makes me want to act out my frustration. He loves her! How could he do this to her?

  “I’m sure you have plans with Sky. Why don’t you…?”

  “Why don’t we watch a movie, Mom, or go for a swim or something?” It suddenly feels like I’ll let Sky down if I don’t take care of Mom. And I’d be a real jerk if I just walked out leaving her crying and everything.

  Mom offers a faint smile while leaning her head on my shoulder. “Thank you, Jameson.”

  “No problem.” But really it’s sort of crazy that I’m suddenly in the position where I’m the one who has to take care of my mom.

  ***

  It’s Sunday afternoon. I still haven’t heard from Sky. I didn’t expect to, since her conference call with the clan is today, but it still sucks. We had this amazing night in the pool and she slept over. But it’s like I haven’t had the chance to hang out with her since.

  The backyard gate opens and Sarah walks through. Not Sky. I’m lying on the far side of the pool. Her light brown hair spins around as she turns to close the gate. She hasn’t noticed me yet. Sarah, so familiar, yet such a stranger…who now resides in a weird place in my heart. I know I still haven’t thought about her the way I should—the way that would make sure I’m past her…over her. Her petite frame walks in short athletic steps, and she bites her lower lip nervously before raising her hand to knock on my door.

  “I’m out here.” I sit up.

  “Oh!” She spins around. “Hey, Jamesy.”

  “What’s up?” Sarah hasn’t just stopped by since…well it’s been a long time.

  “Checkin’ on ya, that’s all.” Her smile is bright. Her dimples show even from here.

  “I’m alright.”

  She walks around the edge of the pool. It feels wrong, or weird that we’re alone together. She’s with someone, and I’m with someone. I thought that me dating Sky, not that she has Eric, would make our friendship easier. But it hasn’t, not really. I’m not even sure what to say to her.

  “Thanks for going on the double date on Friday.” She sits on the low chair next to me resting her elbows on her knees.

  Oh, right. I almost forgot. It feels a million miles away after how I spent the rest of that night. “Yeah.” My eyes drift over Sarah. She’s in a tank and shorts. On her, it’s cute. On Sky…well, cute isn’t the word I’d use to describe anything about Sky.

  “Sky’s really nice. She followed me to the restroom.”

  Oh, right. Sky wanted me to talk to Sarah about Eric’s roaming hands. “Are you happy with Eric?”

  “Yeah.” Her smile is a little too wide, and her answer is a little too quick.

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yeah, I’m sure.” There’s an edge to her voice that makes me think she’s hiding something, but I don’t know how to call her on it.

  We’re silent, and I let myself relax into my chair. Well, Sky, I did my part.

  “So you and Sky are close.” Her eyes are intent.

  “Yes.” But I don’t want to tell her how close we are. It’s like a betrayal of trust or something. Telling one girl you like another girl—it feels like something that just isn’t done.

  “That’s it? That’s all you’re going to say?” She kicks my calf with her foot. She’s trying to tease, but her body looks—too straight, too tense—for teasing.

  “She’s the most straight-up, honest person I know.” And that’s the simple truth. What’s funny is that I always used to think that mystery was erotic, but it isn’t. Mystery is terrifying. Honesty is erotic. Sky is�
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  “And that’s good?” She’s chewing on her lower lip again.

  “Scary as hell at first.” I laugh. “But yeah, it’s nice. We always know where we stand. I can tell her what I’m thinking, even if she doesn’t want to hear it, and she does the same.”

  “Maybe I should try that.” Sarah’s head tilts off to the side.

  “Everyone should.” If my parents would, maybe they’d be able to get their crap together. Though, I don’t know everything that’s passed between them.

  Sarah’s phone beeps in her pocket. “Gotta run.”

  “You shouldn’t have to jump every time he calls, or texts, or whatever.” Is this what Sky meant about Eric?

  “And what do you do when Sky calls?” she asks, getting to her feet.

  She has me there. “Point taken.”

  “Thanks for worrying about me,” she says, walking away. “It’s sweet.”

  Sweet…sweet? I don’t know what to do with that word. Is it a friend word? I’m not sure. Why did I listen to Sky and talk to Sarah? I want things to be smoothed out, normal, good…not sweet.

  With Sarah gone, I sit up and check my phone to make sure I haven’t missed any messages or texts from Sky. I haven’t. Man, that sucks. I stand up and dive to bottom of the pool—where none of this will matter for a while.

  SEVENTEEN

  It’s eleven o’clock on Sunday night.

  I should be sleeping, but Sky still hasn’t called. I’m afraid to call her. Even though we have this honesty thing, I still feel like there’s a lot about her I don’t know. It might be the simple fact that she grew up in a different world than I did. I’m not sure.

  I hear a soft knock on my glass door and I leap out of bed. When I slide the door open, I see Sky’s standing in the darkness. I’ve never seen her look so small.

  “I’m sorry, you were probably sleeping and…” I hear her sniff once and not even thinking about it, I pull her into my arms pressing her to my chest.

  “I was lying here waiting for you to call.” I’m so glad it’s the truth.

  “Can I come in?”

  I stand back and close the door behind her. Her eyes are red and swollen.

  “What happened to you?” I ask. My hand reaches out to touch the edge of her face. Knowing that Sky was crying scares me. She’s always so strong. All I want to do is pull her to me and hold her there. I don’t know what else to do.

  “It’s just that I was hours on the phone in a meeting where I really should have been present. There’s so much fighting going on right now. It’s just too expensive to go all that way when I was just there over break.” She sounds low, defeated. And I understand absolutely nothing about what’s going on.

  “Come on.” I take her hand and climb into bed with her.

  She immediately rests her head on my chest. I will never, ever get tired of this. I’m helping…I’m supporting…I’m doing something, right? Only she’s so upset, that it feels like I’m not helping her at all. “Do you want to talk about it?”

  “I really can’t…I shouldn’t…”

  “What about honesty?” I tease and then I realize that was probably not the right thing to say. “I’m sorry, Sky, just ignore me.”

  Fortunately, she does ignore my comment. “I just can’t talk about it. Not about the specifics. It involves too many people.” She lets out a sigh. “It was just one of those times when my mistakes were thrown back in my face in the most horrible way possible. They accused me of things I would never do in a million years. Yet even after all that, I still miss being home.” Her arm slides around my side and she scoots even closer. “It’s a hard thing to reconcile.”

  “I want to do something to help you through this.” It’s ripping me apart that anyone would make her feel this way. I wonder if it has anything to do with Gunnar, or if it’s a completely different situation—maybe it has something to do with her brother. All I know is I just can’t bring myself to ask Sky about it. If she wants to tell me herself, she will.

  She gives me a whispery laugh. “You are doing something. I’ve come to you in the middle of the night, and I’m crying all over you and your bed.” She sniffs again.

  “I’m glad you’re here.” I have no idea what Mom will say in the morning—but right now I don’t care. I reach over, turn off the lamp and run my hand up and down her back. Please let her still be here when I wake up.

  ***

  My phone buzzes next to my head. I set the alarm to wake me up for school. I’m annoyed until…I remember that Sky slept over last night. I roll over, and she’s still sleeping next to me. She looks absolutely gorgeous. Her hair is scattered over her face and her pillow. Her breathing is slow and deep. As much as I want to take her in my arms and kiss her, I don’t. She’s so beautiful like this.

  “I love you, Sky,” I whisper. I stop my hand before it touches her face. I know shouldn’t wake her. She’s got to be exhausted and could use the extra sleep.

  I slide up and out of bed as quietly as I can. Okay, this morning is officially the first day that I really, really, wish I didn’t have to go to school. But they’re picky about absences around sporting events so I know I need to go—the swim meet’s coming up. But I stand there, staring at Sky in my bed, undecided. Logic wins. I slide on jeans and a t-shirt. Now I’m fighting the desire to lie with her and wake her up, just so we can share that moment, too. But again, I can’t do it. I tiptoe out of my room.

  “Jameson,” Mom calls out, the minute I reach the kitchen. She’s on a stool with a bowl of cereal in front of her that she’s not eating.

  “Shhh…” I put my finger to my lips. I can tell by the expression on her face it probably wasn’t the best response.

  “We talked about this.” She sits back on her stool, her eyes boring holes in the side of my head.

  I open the fridge to look for the orange juice bottle.

  “I thought I was clear when I said I didn’t want any girls sleeping over.” Mom’s voice is a stern level of tired frustration.

  “She’s not just any girl.” I stand up, triumphant at finding the bottle of orange juice. “And you weren’t at all clear. You just said you were worried.”

  Mom says nothing. Instead, she rubs her forehead.

  I’m being a jerk, and I know it. I move to stand closer to Mom. “I don’t know what happened. I know there was a clan meeting or something going on back home. Last night, she knocked on my door in tears at just after eleven. I couldn’t just kick her out and tell her to go back to her grandparents’ place.”

  The scowl on Mom’s face turns into a faint smile.

  Honesty wins out, yet again.

  “Don’t make a habit of it and…”

  “I’m sure you feel the need to say something about sex, but I already know the drill. We’re not having sex, so you don’t have to say anything, and we can both be spared the embarrassment.” Or some of the embarrassment… I walk through the kitchen, keeping my eyes off hers. “I gotta get to school.”

  “I’ll see you later, Jameson.”

  I step out the door, and let out a breath. Thankfully, the confrontation with Mom is over. But now I’m second-guessing my whole morning. Was it good that I left Sky there? Was it bad that I left her there to wake up alone? I have no idea. Maybe I should have woken her up. I need to get in my car before I make myself crazy.

  My school day consists of me checking my phone every chance I get to see if Sky tried to reach me. My phone is silent. My head is screaming.

  ***

  At the end of the school day, I still haven’t heard from Sky, so I send her a text.

  SORRY I JUST LEFT, DIDN’T WANT TO DISTURB. ARE YOU OK?

  I get a text back a few seconds later, just before I have to ditch my phone for swim practice.

  I’M GRT. SEE U AFTR SCHL

  I let out a deep breath. She’ll see me after school. We’re good. We’re okay. I show up to the pool and learn that the girls’ team is taking the day off. Day off? And guess what the
boys’ team is doing? Working on endurance. Which means my limbs will be rubbery by the time I head for home. Perfect. At least it will provide me with a good distraction until I can see Sky again.

  ***

  I hear laughter in the backyard when I come through the gate. Mom, Sky and Sarah are all in my backyard together…and they’re laughing. Please let it not be about me.

  “There he is!” Mom yells, waving from the table.

  I manage to wave back. But I’m sort of baffled by the whole thing.

  “You okay?” Sarah teases.

  Sky stands up and walks toward me. I seem to be frozen in place.

  “We’re all fine,” Sky says, her voice quiet.

  Now that she’s standing next to me, my body starts to relax. Her smile helps, too. I reach out and touch the hair around her face. She leans into my touch, closing her eyes.

  “There are other people here.” Sky’s voice comes out in that barely-there whisper she does so well. She swallows as her eyes open, meeting mine.

  “Sky, they both know we’re together.” I can’t take my eyes off her. A flash of Sky—sleeping in my bed, hair splayed out around my pillow—hits me hard. I lean down to kiss her, but she turns her head and I only catch her cheek.

  “Okay, okay.” Mom’s voice carries across the yard.

  I put an arm around Sky and walk to the table. Mom looks better than I’ve seen her since Dad left. Maybe it’s worth it, having them all in one spot.

  “How did the boys’ team do today?” Sarah laughs as I sit down.

  I keep a leg on either side of the bench and my arm around Sky. “Well, I guess you can say after that practice, my body’s no longer working right.” I laugh.

  “The girls’ coach has this thing about resting up before a meet.” Sarah smiles smugly.

  “The guys’ coach has the opposite approach. We’ll see how tomorrow goes.” This is weird, but nice. We’re all here, and I haven’t burst into flames. I’m just thrilled to still be touching Sky.

  “When’s your meet?” Sky turns to me, putting our faces so close together I have to concentrate on her words…and my response.