The Baby Interview

by Robbie Terman

  His proposal of marriage had been sincere. But when she had paused for so long, as if too revolted by the idea to speak, he'd impulsively added the words marriage of convenience.

  Her outrage at the idea hadn't startled him. He knew she wasn't the kind of woman to enter into a loveless marriage. But stupid him, he kept at it, trying to convince her it would work. What he had really intended was first to convince her to marry him and then to make her fall in love with him.

  Friendship, though, friendship was all she would agree to. And friendship, she had said, didn't make a marriage. It was clear Lucy had no feelings for him. If she did, she would have entered the marriage with friendship plus some.

  Friendship alone.

  The words echoed like song lyrics he couldn't seem to get out of his head. Lucy didn't love him. He had lost her.

  But he'd be damned if he'd lose his child, too.

  "Cole,” Lucy broke into his thoughts. “I'm not going to try and keep this child from you. We'll work something out."

  Cole nodded as he tried to keep his head level. What he really wanted to do was cry on Nanny Hilda's shoulder. But he couldn't do that. He was an adult. He hadn't cried since that time in middle school when his parents had called to say they wouldn't be attending his state debate championship because the weather in St. Bart's was just too nice to leave. He hadn't cried when he'd left Pam or when their divorce became final. But he wanted to cry now.

  "I'll have my attorney come up with a custody and child support agreement."

  Her jaw tightened and she clenched her hands. “You're bringing your attorney into this? Why, so you can use obscure legal language to cut my child out of my life?"

  How could she think that? He wanted to shout at her, to blame her, to do anything that would make him not love her.

  But in the end, all he could do was try and put himself into her shoes. He had intended to raise his child alone, without the mother. It was only natural she be worried about being cut out. “Hire an attorney, any attorney you want, to look over the papers. I'll pay for it."

  Her hands trembled. He could see it clearly, but she quickly moved them behind her back as if to hide it. Whether she was relieved or still angry, he wasn't sure.

  "Okay. Thank you. I—I guess I'll go now."

  Cole nodded, more than a little anxious to be alone with his misery. “I'll call you when I get the preliminary papers from the attorney."

  Lucy's head bobbed. She bit her lip as if to keep from sobbing and he wished he could comfort her. He knew, though, she'd never allow it.

  "I want to be involved in the pregnancy. So please let me know when you have your first doctor's appointment."

  "Okay.” She shifted from foot to foot, her head down. “So, goodbye.” Her words were soft, final.

  This time Cole shook his head. “Not goodbye. Not ever again.” They were in this together for a lifetime.

  After Lucy left, Cole sat on the couch, his mind drifting between exhilaration and sorrow. Even if she never loved him, he hoped one day Lucy could forgive him. He also hoped she would love their child as much as he already loved the small life. The last sentiment was a stupid thought. Of course Lucy would love their child. She had too much love in her heart not to. He could already imagine the way she would dote and fuss on the child the moment he or she was born.

  Just the thought of that made him grin with excitement. He wanted to share his good news with Nanny Hilda. She would be just as happy as he was.

  Before he could find her, the doorbell rang. His heartbeat quickened. Maybe it was Lucy. Maybe she had decided to marry him after all.

  He raced to the door and swung it open. His stomach lurched. It was Pam.

  Pam breezed into the house without even a greeting. She looked as dynamite as she did when he'd last seen her, wearing a Burberry dress and the pearls he'd given her on their wedding day. The sight of her had once made him salivate and of late made him swear. Today, he felt nothing.

  "Your mother redecorated,” she commented as she stepped into the living room. “She always did have abominable taste."

  "I'll be sure to tell her what you think,” he replied dryly.

  She sat on the couch and crossed her legs. “I haven't heard from you. I assume you read the contract."

  He hadn't, actually. Even when he'd thought things were over with Lucy, he couldn't bring himself to get involved with Pam again. Even if it was just for nine months. Now he didn't need to.

  "I won't need your breeding services.” He should have felt pleasure at the way her jaw dropped and her eyes blazed, but he just didn't care.

  She sprang to her feet. “We can negotiate, of course. We can take out the clause that says you'll pay for a tummy tuck and liposuction after, and—"

  "It has nothing to do with the contract,” he interrupted. He actually saw a shimmer of tears in her eyes, and he wondered what sort of trouble she'd gotten into that had driven her to this.

  "Did you sign a contract with someone else?” she demanded.

  "No."

  "Then why? You want a child too badly to give up.” She sidled to him and ran a hand down his arm. “We can make this work, Cole."

  "A woman is already pregnant with my baby."

  Pam turned as white as the furniture in the room. She sank to the couch. “Who?"

  "Her name is Lucy. We've been...” How to explain the situation? “Seeing each other. She just found out she's pregnant.” Even though it was Pam, it felt good to tell someone the news. “I'm not going through with the surrogacy."

  She swallowed once. Twice. “I see.” She stood on shaking legs. “I guess that's it, then."

  As she walked past him, he grabbed her arm. “Call my lawyer on Monday. We'll see what we can do to get you out of whatever difficulty you're in."

  Her eyes lit up. “Thank you, Cole.” She threw her arms around him.

  He didn't hug her back, just gently stepped away. For so many years, he'd been consumed by rage for this woman. Now, he just wanted to let it go. He was starting a new life, and he didn't have the energy to hold grudges from the past.

  "This is it, Pam. After this, we're over. We both need to move on."

  Her head bobbed. She opened the door to leave, and then turned around. “You'll make a great father, Cole. And I'm sorry about all the things that happened before. But we both know I would have been a terrible mother."

  She turned and left.

  He knew he'd never see her again.

  * * * *

  Lucy needed to throw up. Unfortunately, she was too nauseous to move. So she lay in bed, breathing deeply, hoping she could keep down the dry toast she'd had for breakfast. If she stayed perfectly still, she could almost believe the room wasn't spinning.

  Oh, God, if her whole pregnancy was going to be like this, maybe she should have married Cole. Why shouldn't he be miserable for nine months, too?

  When the phone rang fifteen minutes later, her stomach had calmed enough for her to pick it up. “Hello?"

  "I got it!"

  Ben's shout was loud enough for Lucy to pull the phone away from her ear. After holding it away for a few more whoops of delight, Lucy put the receiver back to her ear. “What's going on, Ben?"

  "I received early acceptance to Stanford and I got a scholarship."

  Tears welled up in Lucy's eyes and her heart pounded its applause. “Bennie, that's wonderful! Congratulations. I'm so proud of you. Tell me all about it."

  She listened for the next several minutes as Ben relayed the letter he'd received and outlined the details of the scholarship. “Your doctor friend must have written one heck of a letter of recommendation. That's nearly a full scholarship."

  "It wasn't Doctor Burke. I mean, he did write me a terrific letter of recommendation, which I'm sure helped me get in. But Cole helped me with the scholarship."

  Cole? She must have misheard. Cole hadn't mentioned a thing about being in contact with Ben. “Who?"

  "Cole,” Ben repeated. “Geez
, sis. Don't tell me you've forgotten him already.” She could hear the laughter in his voice, still high on excitement.

  "When did you talk to Cole?"

  "He's been calling ever since my accident to check up on me. When I mentioned my scholarship application, Cole said he knew people at Stanford and would call to check on it. Then today I got the letter."

  Cole had gotten Bennie his scholarship. It didn't make sense. Putting Ben through medical school was the only reason she'd even consider surrogacy. Cole knew that. Yet, he had helped make sure Ben got a scholarship, ensured she wasn't quite so desperate for money. And he had done it without telling her, without using it to his advantage.

  Her heart swelled with love for Cole, and then just as quickly withered. He didn't love her and he never would. Her hand fell to her belly. At least she would have a piece of Cole with her forever.

  "Luce, you still there?"

  "Yeah, Bennie.” She wondered if she should tell him about her pregnancy. But if she did, he'd have a thousand questions, starting with her and Cole's wedding date.

  She just wasn't ready to deal with that yet. Besides, this was Ben's day. “We have to celebrate. What day's good for you?” And please, let it not be today. Otherwise she might have to drive to Ann Arbor with her head hanging out the window like a dog.

  "Tonight, Amber and I have plans to celebrate.” He said it slowly, as if worried about her reaction. “How about next weekend? Amber and I could come down there for dinner."

  "Sounds good. I'd like the chance to get to know Amber better."

  "I'm glad. I really like her, Luce."

  "Then I'm sure I'll like her, too.” At least, she would try. Hard as it was, she knew she had to back off and let Ben grow. He couldn't stay a little boy forever.

  And when he came to town, she would tell him she was pregnant. She just needed one more week of him believing that she was his perfect, flawless older sister.

  "I've gotta go,” Ben said. “Tell Cole thanks when you see him. Bye."

  He hung up before she could tell him she wouldn't be seeing Cole. That their next association would probably be through lawyers.

  She stood up, hungry for a snack now that her nausea had passed. As she dunked one Oreo after another into a glass of milk, she could not get Cole out of her mind. Before she could talk herself out of it, she grabbed the phone and dialed his number. He answered after one ring.

  "Hi, it's me,” she said quickly, to keep herself from hanging up on him.

  "Hey."

  Lucy paused, trying to figure out what to say. “I spoke with Ben. He got the scholarship to Stanford and he said you were to thank for it. So, thank you."

  "I didn't do anything other than make a phone call. It was Ben's hard work that got him that scholarship. I'm glad it worked out. He's a good kid."

  "Yeah, he is.” She felt like she was talking to a telemarketer, not the father of her child.

  Just when the silence stretched long enough to make Lucy uncomfortable, Cole asked, “Have you made an appointment with an obstetrician yet?"

  "Thursday at three."

  "I'll be there."

  She didn't argue with him. She resigned herself to the fact that Cole would be involved in every aspect of this pregnancy. “I bought a couple of baby books, if you want to read them when I'm finished..."

  "Thanks, but if a baby book was written, I've probably already bought it."

  Of course. He'd been waiting for this day for months. Lucy wouldn't even be surprised if he told her the nursery was already made up. Or that he'd already named the child. She wondered if he'd even care that she'd always dreamed of naming her first born daughter after her mother, Lily.

  Her nausea started to rise again, and she didn't think it had anything to do with the child in her womb. The call had been a mistake. She should have just sent a thank-you note.

  "Anyway, I just wanted to thank you. For Ben. I guess I'll see you Thursday."

  "I'll be there."

  * * * *

  "Lucy, you have a visitor!"

  Lucy groaned and pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to relieve the pressure in her aching head. If it was Miriam Donovan coming to threaten her again, Lucy couldn't be held responsible for her actions.

  Her breath caught in her throat. What if it was Miriam, and Cole had told her about the baby? No doubt, then, Miriam was coming with another big check. Only this wouldn't be to buy Lucy out of Cole's life, it would be to buy Lucy's child.

  Instinctively, Lucy's hand went over her abdomen, protecting the life inside. Miriam Donovan could threaten her all she wanted, but she wasn't getting a hand on Lucy's child.

  "Lucy, did you hear me?” Lizzie's voice called back.

  Time to face the devil. “Yeah. I'm coming.” Lucy took her time walking to the front of the store. She used the time to steel herself against any possibility Miriam might throw at her.

  Her resolve was wasted when she stepped out front and found Nanny Hilda waiting for her. To her surprise, she was a bit disappointed it wasn't Miriam. She was aching to get out her aggressions.

  Nanny Hilda met Lucy halfway and wrapped her arms around her. “Cole told me,” she said as she gave Lucy a squeeze.

  Lucy looked around quickly, hoping no one had heard. She wasn't any more ready to tell her staff than she was to tell Ben. There would be just too many questions involved. When she had some good answers, then she would tell them.

  "Let's walk down to the coffee shop at the end of the complex and talk,” Lucy suggested.

  She led Nanny Hilda out the door and five stores to the right. As they stood at the counter, Lucy said to Nanny Hilda, “Don't worry. I'm not getting coffee. I already know how Cole feels about that.” She ordered a fruit smoothie.

  Nanny Hilda ordered a decaf coffee, and then they sat at a table waiting for their order. “I didn't come here to check up on you or make sure you're not drinking caffeine."

  "Then why are you here?"

  "I thought you should know you broke my boy's heart."

  [Back to Table of Contents]

  Chapter Eleven

  "How exactly did I break Cole's heart?” Bitterness forced its way into Lucy's words. “By refusing his marriage of convenience? Or was it because I intend to be involved in my child's life? Is he worried the child won't have his name, that he or she will be a Chaple instead of a Donovan? Oh, no. What will the folks at the country club think?"

  Lucy winced when she was done with her angry diatribe. She hadn't intended to go off on Nanny Hilda like that. And she probably should have saved the country club attack for the inevitable confrontation with Miriam.

  Nanny Hilda just tilted her head and smiled. She didn't disagree with any of Lucy's claims, or try to defend him. She said three simple words.

  "Cole loves you."

  It took several sips of her fruit smoothie and a significant intake of air before Lucy could respond to Nanny Hilda's claims. Cole in love with her? The idea would have been laughable, if it didn't tear off another piece of her already battered heart. Men in love didn't offer marriages of convenience.

  "I think you've misinterpreted the situation,” she told Nanny Hilda. “Cole isn't in love with me. All he wants is the baby. This was his plan all along."

  Nanny Hilda let out a loud harrumph. “I believe his plan was to use a doctor and a laboratory."

  Lucy felt her cheeks heat. She looked down at her drink, too embarrassed to face Nanny Hilda's all-too-knowing gaze. “He knew I wouldn't consent to surrogacy, so he found another way to get what he wanted."

  "Are you saying he forced you?"

  "Of course not,” Lucy exclaimed sharply. A few nearby customers turned to look at them, so Lucy forced her voice to go calm. “No, I didn't mean he forced me. Just that..."

  "He seduced you, then?"

  Lucy nodded, and then shook her head. “I don't know. I wanted him.” She forced herself to look up. “I went from dreading the sight of him to craving just the sound of his voice.
If that's seduction, then yeah, I guess he seduced me."

  Nanny Hilda reached a hand across the table and laid it comfortingly over Lucy's. “I don't think it was seduction. I think it was love. Is love."

  Could Nanny Hilda see directly into her heart? It certainly seemed so. But Lucy wasn't about to admit she was in love with Cole. No doubt Nanny Hilda would rush back to tell Cole. If she was going to have a fair chance at keeping her child, Lucy knew she couldn't let Cole have the ammunition to manipulate her. And love would be the worst ammunition she could give him.

  "It's not love,” she denied. “It's pregnancy. And Cole and I will work it out. But we're not going to be together."

  Nanny Hilda gave a shake of her fists. “You are both so stubborn! Cole's moping around the house like he lost his best friend. You're denying your feelings. If you're too proud to admit it to yourself, think about your child. Wouldn't it be better for the child to have two loving parents?"

  "It will,” she snapped. Her tone took them both by surprise. She knew Nanny Hilda meant well and she took a cleansing breath. “But I don't think bringing a child into a loveless marriage is the answer.” Or bringing a child into a marriage where the father skirts around as the mother's heart slowly withers and dies.

  "This child will have plenty of love, between me and Cole, Ben, and you."

  The older woman's eyes watered and her lips turned up. “I can't wait to hold Cole's baby on my lap."

  Lucy couldn't help but return her smile. “I'm going to depend on your help. I don't know anything about raising a child."

  "Oh, you'll learn fast.” And she proceeded to tell Lucy everything she knew.

  * * * *

  Cole sat on his leather sofa, a beer in one hand and the remote in the other. He stared blankly at the TV screen in front of him, not even caring that it was the bottom of the ninth and the Tigers, who were trailing by one, had two outs with a runner on first.

  That morning, his attorney had called to let Cole know that the custody and support agreement had been drawn up. It had been faxed over for Cole's approval. Thus far, he hadn't gotten past his and Lucy's names.