The Rebel Who Loved Her

by Jennifer Taylor

  ‘Oh, dear.’ Becky grimaced. ‘It sounds as though he may be charged with dangerous driving.’

  ‘It will serve him right,’ Mrs Rose said sternly. ‘It’s only by the grace of God that no one was killed.’

  Becky nodded, knowing it was true. She added a note to Mrs Rose’s file to the effect that she was discharging her and smiled. ‘That’s it, then. I shall miss our little chats now that you won’t need to pop in to see me.’

  ‘So will I.’ Mrs Rose sighed as she stood up. ‘It gets rather lonely, living on your own, especially since Emily moved away.’

  ‘Oh, so you and Emily were friends, were you?’ Becky asked, not wanting to hurry the old lady after what she’d said.

  ‘Friends and neighbours, actually. Emily rented the cottage next to mine and I really miss not having her and little Theo around.’ Mrs Rose shook her head. ‘The agents are thinking of letting it out as a holiday rental but it won’t be the same. I mean, you can’t get to know people if they’re only there for a couple of weeks.’

  ‘Would they consider another long-term let?’ Becky asked slowly, wondering if this might be the answer to her problems. If she could afford the rent then she and Millie would have a home of their own again.

  ‘Oh, yes. They’d prefer it, in fact. Why? Are you interested in renting it, my dear?’ Mrs Rose had perked up at the thought.

  Becky nodded. ‘Yes, I am. My parents have been marvellous but I really would like to find a place of our own for me and Millie.’

  ‘The cottage would be ideal!’ Mrs Rose assured her. ‘Emily got it looking really nice inside. And although the garden is small, it’s all fenced in so you wouldn’t have to worry about your little girl getting out.’

  ‘It sounds perfect.’

  Becky wrote down the details of the agents who were handling the property then saw Mrs Rose out. She went back to her room, buoyed up by the thought of having a home of her own again. Much as she loved her parents, it was what she wanted, to be independent while she raised Millie. Maybe it hadn’t been her goal a few years ago but things had changed since then. She was never going to be a happily married mum, looking after her brood, but a single parent with a child to raise. She frowned. Maybe she should make sure that Ewan understood that before they went any further?

  * * *

  ‘You look shattered. What did you get up to at the weekend, or shouldn’t I ask?’

  Ewan grinned when Cathy Morrison accosted him in the staffroom. ‘Oh, you can ask all right, although you’ll be disappointed by the answer. I ended up helping out at that coach crash. It kind of ruined my peaceful day off.’

  ‘Really?’ Cathy grimaced as she switched on the kettle. ‘I’d say that was above and beyond the call of duty. What did you do—follow the ambulances to see where they were going?’

  ‘No way!’ Ewan laughed. ‘I gave up ambulance chasing a while back. I leave that to the insurance people these days. No, I just happened to be around when the call came through and went along to help. A couple of doctors from Bride’s Bay Surgery were having a party and they invited me along,’ he added by way of explanation.

  ‘Oh, hard luck. Still, it’ll teach you to hobnob with other medics during off-duty hours.’ Cathy grinned as she spooned instant coffee into a couple of mugs. ‘You should do what I do and make sure that all your friends are strictly non-medical!’

  ‘I shall bear it in mind,’ Ewan agreed with a grin as he accepted the mug of coffee.

  Cathy took her coffee back to the desk, leaving him alone with his thoughts. He sighed as he sank down onto a chair. The call-out was only partially to blame for his weariness. The real culprit was lack of sleep. He’d spent the night tossing and turning while the same thought had whizzed around his head: was he completely mad to consider getting involved with Becky?

  A week ago—less, even—he would have agreed wholeheartedly with that sentiment but not any longer. The thought of a future without Becky was impossible to imagine and that’s what worried him most of all. He had gone from not wanting to get involved with her to needing to know she would be part of his life in what seemed like the blink of an eye. If that wasn’t a sign he was crazy then heaven knew what was!

  Ewan got up and tipped the rest of the coffee down the sink. He couldn’t bear to sit there, churning it all over again. He went back to the unit, lifting the next patient’s notes out of the tray. It would be better if he kept himself busy, although he would have to decide what he was going to do soon. Becky was expecting him to phone her that night and he needed to know what tone the call should take. Light and friendly? Or something deeper?

  He grimaced. He knew what he really wanted to do, but it didn’t mean it was right.

  * * *

  It was almost eight before the telephone rang. Becky shot to her feet, smiling sheepishly when her mother looked at her in surprise. ‘I’d better get that before it wakes Millie,’ she said, hurrying out of the room.

  Snatching up the receiver, she pressed it to her ear, wondering why she felt so nervous. It was just a phone call. Nothing to get excited about. However, the fact that it might be Ewan phoning gave it a whole new significance. ‘Dr Harper’s residence. Becky speaking.’

  ‘Becky, it’s Ewan. Hi!’

  He sounded so light and breezy, a world away from the nervous wreck she’d turned into, that Becky couldn’t help feeling a little irritated. ‘Oh, hello, Ewan. I’d forgotten you said you’d ring tonight. How are you?’

  ‘Tired but that’s nothing new.’ He gave a short laugh and she heard the edge it held. He obviously hadn’t appreciated her comment but hard luck. While she’d been worrying herself to death, he’d been swanning about without a care in the world, apparently. She hardened her heart. ‘Are you phoning about something special or just for a chat?’

  ‘Both, actually. But if you’re busy, it will keep until another time. Enjoy your evening.’

  ‘Wait!’ Becky realised that he was going to hang up and knew that she couldn’t bear to be left wondering. She needed to know what he had decided, come what may. ‘I’m not doing anything important,’ she admitted, swallowing her pride.

  ‘Well, if you’re sure...’ There was a hint, the merest trace of laughter in his voice, and she glared at the receiver even though he couldn’t possibly see her.

  ‘Of course I’m sure!’

  ‘Good.’ His voice softened, flowing down the line like warm honey, and her irritation melted away. ‘I’ve been thinking about you all day. That’s why I was so late in calling you. I couldn’t decide what I was going to say.’

  ‘I understand.’ She sighed. ‘It isn’t easy, is it? I mean, we didn’t expect this to happen, did we?’

  ‘No. If I’m honest it was the last thing I wanted but I won’t lie to you, Becky. I still have feelings for you and I think you still have them for me, too.’

  ‘I do.’ She bit her lip, unwilling to say anything else. They were still on fairly safe ground at the moment, still able to step back, but once they moved their relationship onto a physical level that wouldn’t be possible. The thought made her shudder with sudden apprehension.

  ‘So what are we going to do?’ he said softly. ‘I may as well admit that I still haven’t made up my mind. Have you?’

  ‘No. Part of me wants us to remain friends because it would be so much simpler that way...’

  ‘And another part wants us to be more than friends,’ he said, finishing the sentence. ‘It’s the same for me, if it’s any consolation.’

  ‘So what do you suggest?’

  ‘I suppose the sensible thing is to take it slowly and not rush into anything. At the moment we’re still in shock and it would be stupid to let ourselves get carried away. Maybe in a week or so’s time we’ll have a clearer idea of what we want.’

  ‘That sounds like a good idea to me.’

  ‘Does it?’ He laughed. ‘Miracle of miracles. I’m actually making sense even though it feels as though my head is spinning!’

 
; Becky laughed as well. ‘Mine too. So how do you want to play this? Shall we see one another, purely on a friendly basis, of course?’

  ‘I don’t think we’ll ever work this out if we don’t,’ he said wryly. ‘I’m on earlies all week but I’m off on Saturday so do you fancy doing something then, maybe take Millie to the beach if the weather’s fine?’

  ‘That would be lovely...oh, the thing is, I’ve arranged to view a cottage on Saturday morning. Emily used to live there and it sounds ideal.’

  ‘I’ll come with you,’ he offered at once and she laughed.

  ‘Would you? That would be great.’

  They arranged what time he would pick her and Millie up before they hung up. Becky went back to the sitting room, hoping that she hadn’t made a mistake. She didn’t want to hurt Ewan but there was no guarantee it wouldn’t happen if they got close again. At the end of the day she mustn’t forget that she could never give Ewan the family he would want one day.

  ‘Who was that, darling?’ Ros looked up as she went back into the room and Becky did her best to put on a cheerful face.

  ‘Ewan. We’ve arranged to meet on Saturday.’ Becky took a quick breath, deciding that it would be better to get it all over with in one fell swoop. She’d been trying to work out the best way to broach the subject but there was really only one way. ‘Actually, I’m going to look at a house that’s for rent. It’s Emily’s old home and it sounds perfect for me and Millie.’

  ‘I thought you’d want to find a place of your own once you got settled,’ Ros said calmly.

  ‘You don’t mind? Don’t think I’m ungrateful, will you? You and Dad have been marvellous but it would be good to have my own space,’ Becky explained anxiously.

  ‘I understand, darling. Really I do.’ Ros smiled at her. ‘You’re a grown woman with a child of your own—it would be strange if you didn’t want your own home.’

  ‘Thank you.’ Becky went and gave her mother a hug.

  ‘There’s nothing to thank me for. Your father and I only want what’s best for you.’ Ros frowned. ‘Are you sure you know what you’re doing with regard to Ewan, though? Don’t get me wrong, I’d be over the moon if you two got together but I got the impression that it was never going to happen.’

  ‘It isn’t. I like Ewan, more than just like him, if I’m honest. But I won’t ruin his life, Mum.’

  ‘He may not see it like that,’ Ros pointed out.

  ‘Maybe not but it’s a risk I’m not willing to take.’ Becky shrugged. ‘Ewan needs someone who can give him a family eventually. And that’s something I can’t do.’

  ‘I’m so sorry, darling.’

  Becky smiled sadly. ‘Me too.’

  Ros changed the subject. She obviously didn’t want to upset her, although Becky knew that talking about the issue wouldn’t make it any worse. She couldn’t have another child and that was final. No amount of discussion would solve the problem, although it didn’t mean she intended to tell Ewan. Knowing Ewan, he would probably claim it didn’t matter but she knew that it did. She had no intention of ruining his chances of having a family of his own one day.

  * * *

  Saturday dawned bright and clear. Ewan was up before six despite the fact that he and Becky weren’t due to meet until mid-morning. He took a shower, whistling to himself as the water pounded down on his head. He felt all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and it was all down to Becky. The thought of spending the day with her was a definite boost to his spirits. How marvellous it would be if he could spend the rest of his life with her.

  The thought stayed with him while he ate his breakfast. The main reason he had come back to England was to settle down. Although he had enjoyed seeing something of the world and wouldn’t have missed it for anything, he had realised recently that he wanted more. It was time to put down roots, find the woman he wanted to spend his life with and start a family. Now that he’d met Becky again, it seemed that all the boxes had been ticked. He couldn’t think of anything better than having Becky as his wife and the mother of his children.

  Ewan put his dishes in the sink and picked up his car keys. Even though it was way too early to set off, he needed to see Becky and find out if she felt the same as him. Maybe they had agreed to take things slowly but he couldn’t bear the thought of waiting. He needed to know if there was a chance that Becky loved him!

  * * *

  Becky had just finished getting Millie dressed when she heard a car pull up. Hurrying to the window, she gasped when she saw Ewan getting out. What on earth was he doing here at this time of the morning? She ran downstairs to let him in.

  ‘I know, I know. I’m horribly early.’ He grinned at her, his blue eyes alight with laughter and something else, something that made her pulse race. ‘I’ll understand if you tell me to take a hike.’

  ‘Of course not.’ Becky dredged up a smile but her heart was pounding away as though it was trying for a new world record. To have Ewan look at her with all that desire in his eyes wasn’t easy to deal with. She cleared her throat. ‘Mum and Dad are still in bed but Millie’s up. Go on through to the kitchen while I fetch her.’

  She ran back upstairs and picked Millie up then paused while she tried to calm herself down. She had to remember that they were taking things slowly....

  Ewan didn’t seem to be setting too much store by that idea, though, did he?

  Becky shook her head to dislodge that insidious thought and carried Millie downstairs. Ewan had the kettle on and he looked round when she went in.

  ‘Tea or coffee?’

  ‘Tea, please.’ Becky popped Millie into her highchair. Although the little girl had already eaten her breakfast, she peeled a banana and gave it to her, then sat down.

  ‘Here you go.’ Ewan placed a mug in front of her. Bending over, he pretended to take a bite of Millie’s banana. ‘Yummy, scrummy. That looks delicious.’

  Millie chuckled as she tried to ram the fruit into his mouth and he laughed. Taking a handkerchief out of his pocket, he wiped away the mashed banana smeared all round his mouth. ‘Thank you, sweetheart. It’s really kind of you to give me a taste.’

  Becky sighed as she watched the interplay between them. Ewan was so good with Millie, seeming to know exactly how to treat her. He had a natural affinity with children and would make the most wonderful father. Pain ripped through her and she glanced down at her tea, not wanting him to suspect anything was wrong. She had made up her mind that she wasn’t going to tell Ewan about her not being able to have any more children and she must stick to it.

  ‘So what time are you meeting the agents?’

  She looked up when he spoke, adopting a deliberately upbeat tone. ‘Ten-thirty.’

  ‘Have you told your parents what you’re planning?’ he asked, pulling out a chair. He was wearing fawn chinos and Becky felt her pulse race even faster as she saw the fabric tauten across his muscular thighs.

  ‘Yes, and they’re fine about it,’ she said huskily. ‘They understand that I need my own space.’

  ‘I didn’t think it would be a problem.’ He grinned at her. ‘Fingers crossed that the cottage turns out to be suitable.’

  ‘Ditto.’ Becky made a great production of crossing her fingers. She had to be sensible, had to remember that no matter how much she wanted Ewan, they didn’t have a future together. She stood up, unable to deal with the thought right then. ‘I’ll make a start on our picnic. Cheese and ham sandwiches all right with you?’

  ‘Perfect.’ He captured her hand as she came around the table. ‘I’ve been looking forward to today, Becky.’

  ‘Me too.’

  She gave him a quick smile before she freed herself. Taking the bread out of the bread bin, she set to work and in a very short time had assembled their picnic. It was easier when she had something to do, less stressful. When Ewan offered his help, she declined, deeming it safer to leave him sitting in the chair rather than run the risk of them bumping into one another.

  She gulped because she knew where t
hat would lead. The thought of making love with Ewan both scared and thrilled her. Their relationship had never reached that point eight years ago; she had broken it off before they had got that far. However, she knew that once it happened, it would be even harder to do the right thing. And the right thing meant walking away. Again.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  THE COTTAGE WAS perfect. Ewan could tell that Becky was going to take it even before the agent had finished showing them round. Once everything was agreed and the agent had left, they took a last look around the garden. Becky couldn’t hide her delight as she lifted Millie onto a junior-sized swing that Emily had left behind.

  ‘This is going to be our new home, sweetheart. You’ll love living here, won’t you?’

  Ewan laughed. ‘I’m not sure Millie understands you.’

  ‘Of course she does! She’s a very intelligent little girl—can’t you tell?’

  ‘Oh, I can.’ He smiled back, relieved that she seemed to have got over whatever had been troubling her earlier. He’d had the distinct impression when they were in the kitchen that she’d been keeping her distance, although he wasn’t sure why. ‘She’s very like her mother in that respect,’ he declared, deciding not to say anything. It was only natural that Becky should have reservations about them, after all.

  ‘I shall take that as a compliment, thank you.’ Becky lifted Millie off the swing, shaking her head when she started to wail. ‘We have to go now, darling, but we can come back again very soon.’

  Millie refused to be mollified, however. She screamed even louder as they made their way down the path. Ewan bent and looked into her angry little face.

  ‘What a racket! You’re making so much noise that you’re frightening the birds.’

  Millie stopped screaming and looked at him in surprise. He took her from Becky, holding her up so she could see the flock of sparrows nesting in the bushes that ran alongside the path. ‘See, there they are. If you keep very quiet you’ll hear them singing.’