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CUL-DE-SAC (On The Edge Book 1)

Page 30

by YILDIRIM, M. E.


  “Can I help?” She asked and he blinked because for one insane moment he thought she was actually answering his unasked question.

  “What do you mean?”

  “I don’t know. I love projects; I would like to get involved in it.” Cat smiled, already imagining how the place could look; it had such potential.

  Just like Xan.

  “I appreciate the offer, Kitten, but I don’t need your money.”

  “Is help always identified with money?” She tilted her head, regarding him curiously.

  “Tell me it isn’t in your world. I am not a charity case, Catalina,” he said calmly.

  “I never said you were; please don’t put words in my mouth I haven’t spoken. You are just offending both of us.” She turned away to leave but he stopped her.

  “You are right. I’m sorry.” He sighed because they seemed doomed tonight no matter what.

  “It means a lot to me that you offered help, but I need to do this on my own.”

  “That I can understand. Can we go back now? You really need ice, and a massage wouldn’t hurt either.”

  “Are you offering to be my nurse tonight?” He chuckled.

  “I didn’t say that…”

  “I want to spend the night with you,” Xan cut her off.

  Screw giving her time, he thought; if he gave it to her she would slowly back away until nothing but distance remained in the space between them. He wasn’t going to let that happen.

  “But…”

  But what? Cat asked herself.

  She wanted to be with him but… she felt rubbed raw tonight. Susceptible to him in a way that was making her wary. She just needed a moment to herself, but when she looked into his eyes ready to tell him exactly that, she saw that she was not the only one feeling vulnerable tonight.

  “I will be good, Kitten. I just want to be with you.” His promise sealed it.

  “Okay,” she agreed, unable to say no to him.

  CHAPTER 39

  It was logical, not to mention practical, to head straight to Xan’s apartment since they were in close vicinity to it. Yet Catalina wanted to go back to her place, convinced she would feel at a smaller disadvantage on her own territory.

  She was proven wrong as soon as they stepped inside the house and the door closed behind them with a quiet but firm finality.

  She could feel Xan’s eyes boring into her back but she donned her cool mask, the same one that always helped her to get through even the hardest times. Trying to pretend it was possible to act unaffected in his presence.

  But he was a guest in her home and if she knew one thing, it was how to make people feel comfortable even if she was on the edge herself.

  There were not many words between them which only magnified her unease; she knew he wasn’t silent on purpose, it just seemed that neither one of them knew what to say or how to behave.

  Thank you, Chloé, she thought sarcastically.

  She offered to run a hot bath for him and was relieved when he didn’t try to talk her into having one with him. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to be with Xan; she did, but the incident with Chloé made her very much aware about the differences between them and this time she didn’t mean their social background.

  They were worlds apart from a sexual point of view as well, and she would bet tonight wasn’t the first time a woman offered herself to him just because of who he was. Catalina felt like she had lost her self-confidence and needed a little time to win it back.

  Her hand clenched around the ointment bottle she had been searching for when she heard the door connecting her bathroom with bedroom opening. She turned to Xan with a smile that fell off her face in an instant, and she was forced to swallow hard no matter how humiliating it was.

  He was simply magnificent standing there with droplets of water still clinging to his naked skin and shining in his hair, making it seem even darker. He had a white towel hitched around his waist but it looked precarious at best.

  Cat had the strongest urge to place her hands on him and take the same path the water drops created, sliding down his body. To trace his tattoos with her tongue.

  He didn’t miss her reaction.

  “Kitten…”

  He had told himself he would respect her wishes tonight and wouldn’t force her to talk about all that went down. Because even though she might have believed him that nothing happened between him and Chloé, she was still hurt by the whole situation.

  He had told himself he wouldn’t push her for anything, no matter how much he wanted her. But the look in her eyes couldn’t be mistaken for anything other than hunger and need, and he was more than willing to oblige it.

  “I hope the hot bath helped to ease your muscles. I found something that might aid as well. Lie down, please,” she said quickly, not letting him voice whatever he wanted to.

  Xan gritted his teeth, but decided to give in for the last time. If she provoked him once more, all bets were off and he was done with playing nice. Those who did usually found themselves on the receiving end of losing.

  He walked toward the bed and obediently lay down, not because he cared much for whatever she wanted to rub into his skin. He just wanted to have her hands on his body and since it seemed like the only available circumstances under which it was going to happen, he was down with the plan.

  He stifled a groan when Cat straddled him and he instantly regretted he was facing the bed instead of her.

  “Am I too heavy?” She asked and he wondered if she was serious.

  “No.”

  Yet he was unable to stop a moan from escaping him when she started to massage the tense lines of his shoulders.

  “Too hard?” Her hands froze and he closed his eyes, because what started as a great idea was on the fast track to turning into a nightmare.

  “I don’t know the meaning of the word.” He smirked and she just rolled her eyes.

  His body was tense, but the most important part was that she didn’t see any ugly bruises marring his skin. She thought the massage to be such a great idea, but what she hadn’t taken into consideration was the kind of effect it was going to have on her, Catalina admitted.

  Kneading his muscles and gliding her hands over his hot skin was making her feel flush, and before she knew it, she leaned in to place a kiss on his shoulder blade.

  Xan’s body shot with even more tension than before and she regretted listening to the silly impulse in the first place.

  “Are you going to take as much care with my front?” He wanted to know.

  “I think you are enjoying it a little bit too much,” Cat teased and bit down lightly on his arm.

  Just like that, her whole world spun, and she found herself trapped under his body for a change.

  Under his nearly naked and aroused body, she noticed.

  “Somebody is not playing fair and nice again,” she said, straining against him, jerking at the manacled hold he had her wrists in above her head.

  All she managed was to arch her breasts into his chest and she thought that would have been much better idea if she didn’t have her bra and T-shirt on.

  “You know full body contact is my kind of sport, but since you are wearing too many clothes I would say that you are the one who is making it unfair, Kitten,” he murmured.

  “Good thing you don’t care much about fair, then,” she pointed out and he chuckled.

  “Let me help you with that.” One of his hands held hers still above her head while fingers of the other gave her T-shirt a tug.

  “Your body is hurting after the fight,” she reminded him.

  “I am never hurting that much,” he stated arrogantly.

  “Xan…”

  “What is it, Cat? Tell me why you keep shying away from my touch today. I told you I didn’t…”

  “You saw her naked!” She threw the words at him, forgetting she had no intentions of admitting her weakness to him.

  “Not by my choice.” He blinked at her, surprised by the direction in whic
h her thoughts ran.

  “Not the point,” she muttered.

  “Explain it to me then,” he demanded, losing patience.

  He let go of her hands and moved away from the tempting heat of her body, because being so close to her and not touching her felt like a new brand of torture. If she only knew the power she had over him, he thought, and his ire spiked.

  She slid off the bed feeling utterly stupid, but how could she explain to him that tonight’s scene had stripped her bare and left her feeling self-conscious?

  “You are the only woman I want to be with,” he said when she kept to her silence.

  There were no other words he could give her and they should be enough from his point of view, but she didn’t seem convinced.

  “She is a model, Xan,” Cat sighed because it sounded ridiculous even to her own ears, but she couldn’t help how she felt about it.

  Catalina had never been the one to inspire wild and insatiable desire in men, and she was fine with that because she honestly never cared about any of those men enough.

  But now she did; she was in love with Xan and she couldn’t silence Chloé’s vicious words about not having what it takes to keep the interest of someone like him.

  “You know, I’ve always admired the fact that you were not like other women, but damn, Cat, you are not making any sense right now,” he snapped.

  “Offending me won’t win you any favors,” she bristled and turned away, ready to leave the room, but Xan jumped out of the bed and stopped her from it.

  She was one of the most beautiful women he had ever seen and definitely the most unconscious of it, he thought. One of those mysterious puzzles that were not supposed to be understood but simply accepted, he decided shrugging inwardly.

  “Cat… just stop. Come here.” He urged her to stand in front of the big mirror with him at her back.

  It embraced both their forms, emphasizing the rigid line of her spine and the pouty expression on her face. Yet he had never wanted her more than at this moment, Xan decided.

  It was obvious she was unhappy with what she perceived as display of a weakness, but to him it was a new and alluring façade of this complicated woman that most saw as cool and untouchable.

  But he saw all the tenderness hidden inside, all the vulnerability she was so skillfully keeping tucked within. He should have wanted to exploit it, he thought, but all he wanted was to protect it, protect her instead. If he hadn’t realized earlier he was losing his goddamned heart to her, this would have been the moment of dawning comprehension for him.

  “You are the only woman I can’t stop thinking about, can’t keep my hands off. Why do you think that is?” He asked quietly, placing said hands on her hips, and saw her gaze dropping down to rest on the quite possessive and oh-so-telling gesture.

  “Maybe for the same reason I am thinking of you?” She didn’t want the sensual note in his tone to sweep her under the surface, but she knew she was fighting a lost battle where he was concerned.

  Her body was attuned to his, greedily soaking the heat coming off of his presence behind her. And she was chilled to the bone.

  “It doesn’t really answer the question, does it?” His head bent and he kissed her earlobe.

  “Maybe it doesn’t have to,” she whispered, tilting her head to one side as his lips slid to her neck, leaving a wet trail in their wake.

  “I want you, Kitten, not any other woman, no matter if she is a model or not. It is your body that I crave.” He dragged her even closer until her lower back was cushioning his arousal. “It’s your touch I want to feel on mine,” he added, and she gasped when he brought her hand to his throbbing erection.

  Her reaction wasn’t caused by the action or by the fact his towel was gone all of a sudden and her fingers tried to close around his rigid flesh. No, she gasped because the woman in the mirror was reflecting every motion back at her and the flush creeping high on her cheeks said she was enjoying the play.

  “Raise your arms.” Xan’s hands tugged at the hem of her T-shirt and she obeyed him, feeling a little bit like in a dream.

  Her heart was pounding, but she wasn’t afraid of him; she was afraid of her own needs emphasized and mercilessly bared by the mirror’s cool surface. She was afraid he was taking over her and of what might remain of her, if anything at all, once he was done.

  His fingers skimmed lightly over her breasts, covered by her pink lacy bra, and her breath locked in her throat when they slid lower to the button of her jeans, leaving her bosom aching and needy.

  He pressed his lips to the nape of her neck, and Catalina shuddered because she had never known her skin was so sensitive in that place. He unhooked her bra and slipped his fingers under the shoulder-straps, slowly dragging them down. Her hands rose of their own volition to stop the undergarment from plummeting down as her heart did, landing at his feet.

  He didn’t say anything, just stroked one hand down her arm to close his fingers over hers that were clenched around the flimsy pink. Xan had no intention of forcing anything on her, not tonight, not in this. All he did was lightly stroke her knuckles, gone white, with the tips of his fingers. He felt her tremble but she uncurled her fingers, allowing the material drop to the floor.

  “Good girl,” he praised. “No, Catalina, look in the mirror,” he protested when her gaze dropped down. “See how beautiful you are to me, see what I see when you are like that.” He swept her hair back in case she wanted to use the silky veil to cover herself, barring him from admiring her.

  His need was painful now and the ache seemed to seize his whole body, but for the first time in his life, impatience wasn’t riding him hard. The ever-burning fever in him transformed his desire into a fine but stable flame instead.

  Catalina’s breathing turned choppy and shallow when his hands guided her arms up and wrapped them around his neck, exposing her breasts even more. One of his big hands returned to cup her breast, to tease her pebbled nipple with his thumb, to torture her with his wicked murmur when he bent his head to her ear, whispering rough words of his appreciation.

  The woman in the mirror swallowed hard and closed her eyes under the onslaught of sensations, but she remembered his order to watch and her eyelids flipped open again, making her lock her gaze with his burning one.

  Her skin was lighter in tone than his, which she knew already, of course, but had never spared a moment to actually see the difference in shades.

  The mirror was emphasizing all she let go unnoticed so far.

  She felt utterly feminine watching his hand stroking down her abdomen to unzip her jeans. Cat held her breath, expecting him to pull them down her legs, along with her panties, and wanted to protest, not feeling ready for the ultimate vulnerability.

  But he left them on, not taking them down… yet, as if sensing her unease.

  “Step out of them,” he said roughly, and she did again as asked, watching him kick the material of her jeans away. “I like unwrapping you slowly like my personal gift, each time wondering if your panties match your bra.” His voice dropped an octave, changed by the need pulsating in him, the echo of which she could feel in his throbbing arousal.

  He ran his hands slowly up her calves, her thighs and the pink scrape of lace covering her sex. She let her fingers stroke down his length and saw his head dropping back, the tendons in his neck arching to create a beautiful line she wanted to taste with her lips and teeth.

  “My beautiful Kitten.” Xan’s fingers brushed the edge of her panties.

  Once, twice and his body pulsed stronger, letting him know his control was slowly dissipating, giving way to his hunger sinking its talons in him the way he wanted to sink in her body.

  “Xan…” Cat shivered, unable to withhold the tease any longer when his fingers moved up for a change to pluck at one taut nipple.

  “Are you wet for me, Catalina?” He demanded, and she wanted to deny just to punish him for the power he had over her body, but she caught his gaze and the woman in the mirror nodded her h
ead.

  “You would have never doubted how much I want you if you had known how often I catch myself thinking about the slick tightness awaiting me here.” His thumb slid under the lace drawing random patterns on her over sensitized skin.

  She gasped when his whole hand followed and he pressed the heel of it against her, tormenting her without touching her where she needed him the most. Her abdomen quivered when he kept tempting her without delivering on all those promises she could hear locked in his rough voice and see in his dark hooded gaze.

  “Take them off,” he ordered harshly.

  He didn’t want even the smallest barrier between them any longer. He wanted her naked, slick and ready.

  Catalina’s gaze caught his in the mirror again and she hooked her thumbs in the sides of the scrap of lace. He took a step back and watched her pushing them down and off. He slid one hand between her thighs, stroking over her clitoris, just to reach the center of her.

  Her breath turned into jagged gasps and he didn’t need to tell her to spread her thighs further apart because she did it instinctively, craving the intimate contact on her own. The eyes looking back at him from the cool surface of the mirror were wild and there was nothing cool about the woman in his arms.

  He kept his touch easy but relentless, until her neck arched and she came undone in the sweetest abandonment he had ever witnessed, washing his fingers in the scalding heat. Her head dropped onto his arm and her knees threatened to buckle and give up, but his strong hands were there to steady her.

  He spun her in his arms when the tremor of her body started to subside, lifting her until she could wrap her legs around his waist. Her gaze was unfocused and her kiss languid when he bent his head to taste her. He took a step toward the bed, laying her down and covering her with his own body.

  She gasped softly into his mouth when the head of his cock rubbed against her swollen flesh and then he was pushing into her welcoming tightness. Cat moaned, weaving her fingers through his hair, undulating her hips with a sexual generosity that threatened to steal the bare threads of his control. He thrust into her with a slow, intensely erotic focus.

 

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