The Oxford Shakespeare: The Complete Works

by William Shakespeare

  HOTSPUR (to Worcester)

  Uncle, adieu. O, let the hours be short

  Till fields and blows and groans applaud our sport!

  Exeunt ⌈Worcester at one door, Northumberland and Hotspur at another door⌉

  2.1 Enter a Carrier, with a lantern in his hand

  FIRST CARRIER Heigh-ho! An’t be not four by the day, I’ll be hanged. Charles’s Wain is over the new chimney, and yet our horse not packed. What, ostler!

  OSTLER (within) Anon, anon!

  FIRST CARRIER I prithee, Tom, beat cut’s saddle, put a few flocks in the point. Poor jade is wrung in the withers, out of all cess.

  Enter another Carrier

  SECOND CARRIER Peas and beans are as dank here as a dog, and that is the next way to give poor jades the bots. This house is turned upside down since Robin Ostler died.

  FIRST CARRIER Poor fellow never joyed since the price of oats rose; it was the death of him.

  SECOND CARRIER I think this be the most villainous house in all London road for fleas. I am stung like a tench.

  FIRST CARRIER Like a tench? By the mass, there is ne’er a king christen could be better bit than I have been since the first cock.

  SECOND CARRIER Why, they will allow us ne’er a jordan, and then we leak in your chimney, and your chamber-lye breeds fleas like a loach.

  FIRST CARRIER What, ostler! Come away, and be hanged, come away!

  SECOND CARRIER I have a gammon of bacon and two races of ginger to be delivered as far as Charing Cross.

  FIRST CARRIER God’s body, the turkeys in my pannier are quite starved! What, ostler! A plague on thee, hast thou never an eye in thy head? Canst not hear? An ’twere not as good deed as drink to break the pate on thee, I am a very villain. Come, and be hanged! Hast no faith in thee?

  Enter Gadshill

  GADSHILL Good morrow, carriers. What’s o’clock?

  FIRST CARRIER I think it be two o’clock.

  GADSHILL I prithee lend me thy lantern to see my gelding in the stable.

  FIRST CARRIER Nay, by God, soft. I know a trick worth two of that, i’faith.

  GADSHILL (to Second Carrier) I pray thee, lend me thine.

  SECOND CARRIER Ay, when? Canst tell? ‘Lend me thy lantern,’ quoth a. Marry, I’ll see thee hanged first.

  GADSHILL Sirrah carrier, what time do you mean to come to London?

  SECOND CARRIER Time enough to go to bed with a candle, I warrant thee.—Come, neighbour Mugs, we’ll call up the gentlemen. They will along with company, for they have great charge. Exeunt Carriers

  GADSHILL What ho, chamberlain!

  Enter Chamberlain

  CHAMBERLAIN ’At hand’ quoth Pickpurse.

  GADSHILL That’s even as fair as ‘ “At hand” quoth the chamberlain’, for thou variest no more from picking of purses than giving direction doth from labouring: thou layest the plot how.

  CHAMBERLAIN Good morrow, Master Gadshill. It holds current that I told you yesternight. There’s a franklin in the Weald of Kent hath brought three hundred marks with him in gold. I heard him tell it to one of his company last night at supper—a kind of auditor, one that hath abundance of charge too, God knows what. They are up already, and call for eggs and butter; they will away presently.

  GADSHILL Sirrah, if they meet not with Saint Nicholas’s clerks, I’ll give thee this neck.

  CHAMBERLAIN No, I’ll none of it; I pray thee keep that for the hangman, for I know thou worshippest Saint Nicholas as truly as a man of falsehood may.

  GADSHILL What talkest thou to me of the hangman? If I hang, I’ll make a fat pair of gallows, for if I hang, old Sir John hangs with me, and thou knowest he’s no starveling. Tut, there are other Trojans that thou dreamest not of, the which for sport’ sake are content to do the profession some grace, that would, if matters should be looked into, for their own credit’ sake make all whole. I am joined with no foot-landrakers, no long-staff sixpenny strikers, none of these mad mustachio purple-hued maltworms, but with nobility and tranquillity, burgomasters and great ‘oyez’-ers; such as can hold in, such as will strike sooner than speak, and speak sooner than drink, and drink sooner than pray. And yet, zounds, I lie, for they pray continually to their saint the commonwealth; or rather, not pray to her, but prey on her; for they ride up and down on her and make her their boots.

  CHAMBERLAIN What, the commonwealth their boots? Will she hold out water in foul way?

  GADSHILL She will, she will, justice hath liquored her. We steal as in a castle, cocksure; we have the recipe of fern-seed, we walk invisible.

  CHAMBERLAIN Nay, by my faith, I think you are more beholden to the night than to fern-seed for your walking invisible.

  GADSHILL Give me thy hand; thou shalt have a share in our purchase, as I am a true man.

  CHAMBERLAIN Nay, rather let me have it as you are a false thief.

  GADSHILL Go to, ‘homo’ is a common name to all men. Bid the ostler bring my gelding out of the stable. Farewell, you muddy knave. Exeunt ⌈severally⌉

  2.2 Enter Prince Harry, Poins, Harvey, ⌈and Russell⌉

  POINS Come, shelter, shelter!

  ⌈Exeunt Harvey and Russell at another door⌉

  I have removed Oldcastle’s horse, and he frets like a

  gummed velvet.

  PRINCE HARRY Stand close! ⌈Exit Poins⌉

  Enter Sir John Oldcastle

  SIR JOHN Poins ! Poins, and be hanged! Poins !

  PRINCE HARRY Peace, ye fat-kidneyed rascal ! What a brawling dost thou keep !

  SIR JOHN Where’s Poins, Hal?

  PRINCE HARRY He is walked up to the top of the hill. I’ll go seek him. ⌈Exit⌉

  SIR JOHN I am accursed to rob in that thief’s company. The rascal hath removed my horse and tied him I know not where. If I travel but four foot by the square further afoot, I shall break my wind. Well, I doubt not but to die a fair death, for all this—if I scape hanging for killing that rogue. I have forsworn his company hourly any time this two-and-twenty years, and yet I am bewitched with the rogue’s company. If the rascal have not given me medicines to make me love him, I’ll be hanged. It could not be else: I have drunk medicines. Poins ! Hal ! A plague upon you both ! Russell ! Harvey ! I’ll starve ere I’ll rob a foot further. An ’twere not as good a deed as drink to turn true man and to leave these rogues, I am the veriest varlet that ever chewed with a tooth. Eight yards of uneven ground is threescore and ten miles afoot with me, and the stony-hearted villains know it well enough. A plague upon’t when thieves cannot be true one to another !

  They whistle. ⌈Enter Prince Harry, Poins, Harvey, and Russell⌉

  Whew !A plague upon you all !Give me my horse, you

  rogues, give me my horse, and be hanged!

  PRINCE HARRY Peace, ye fat-guts. Lie down, lay thine ear close to the ground, and list if thou canst hear the tread of travellers.

  SIR JOHN Have you any levers to lift me up again, being down ? ’Sblood, I’ll not bear my own flesh so far afoot again for all the coin in thy father’s exchequer. What a plague mean ye to colt me thus?

  PRINCE HARRY Thou liest : thou art not colted, thou art uncolted.

  SIR JOHN I prithee, good Prince Hal, help me to my horse, good king’s son.

  PRINCE HARRY Out, ye rogue, shall I be your ostler?

  SIR JOHN Hang thyself in thine own heir-apparent garters ! If I be ta’en, I’ll peach for this. An I have not ballads made on you all and sung to filthy tunes, let a cup of sack be my poison. When a jest is so forward, and afoot too ! I hate it.

  Enter Gadshill ⌈visored⌉

  GADSHILL Stand!

  SIR JOHN So I do, against my will.

  POINS O, ’tis our setter, I know his voice. Gadshill, what news?

  ⌈GADSHILL⌉ Case ye, case ye, on with your visors ! There’s money of the King’s coming down the hill; ’tis going to the King’s exchequer.

  SIR JOHN You lie, ye rogue, ’tis going to the King’s tavern.

  GADSHILL There’s enough to make us all.


  SIR JOHN To be hanged.

  ⌈They put on visors⌉

  PRINCE HARRY Sirs, you four shall front them in the narrow lane. Ned Poins and I will walk lower. If they scape from your encounter, then they light on us.

  HARVEY How many be there of them?

  GADSHILL Some eight or ten.

  SIR JOHN Zounds, will they not rob us?

  PRINCE HARRY What, a coward, Sir John Paunch?

  SIR JOHN Indeed I am not John of Gaunt your grandfather, but yet no coward, Hal.

  PRINCE HARRY Well, we leave that to the proof.

  POINS Sirrah Jack, thy horse stands behind the hedge. When thou needest him, there thou shalt find him. Farewell, and stand fast.

  SIR JOHN Now cannot I strike him if I should be hanged.

  PRINCE HARRY (aside to Poins) Ned, where are our disguises?

  POINS (aside to the Prince) Here, hard by. Stand close.

  ⌈Exeunt the Prince and Poins⌉

  SIR JOHN Now, my masters, happy man be his dole, say I; every man to his business.

  ⌈They stand aside.]

  Enter the Travellers, amongst them the Carriers l

  FIRSTI TRAVELLER Come, neighbour, the boy shall lead our horses down the hill. We’ll walk afoot a while, and ease their legs.

  THIEVES ⌈coming forward⌉ Stand !

  ⌈SECOND⌉ TRAVELLER Jesus bless us !

  SIR JOHN Strike, down with them, cut the villains’ throats ! Ah, whoreson caterpillars, bacon-fed knaves ! They hate us youth. Down with them, fleece them !

  ⌈FIRST⌉ TRAVELLER O, we are undone, both we and ours for ever!

  SIR JOHN Hang ye, gorbellied knaves, are ye undone ? No, ye fat chuffs; I would your store were here. On, bacons, on ! What, ye knaves! Young men must live. You are grand-jurors, are ye? We’ll jure ye, faith.

  Here they rob them and bind them. Exeunt the thieves with the travellers

  2.3 Enter Prince Harry and Poins, disguised in buckram suits

  PRINCE HARRY The thieves have bound the true men; now could thou and I rob the thieves, and go merrily to London. It would be argument for a week, laughter for a month, and a good jest for ever.

  POINS Stand close; I hear them coming.

  They stand aside.

  Enter Sir John Oldcastle, Russell, Harvey, and Gadshill, with the travellers’ money

  SIR JOHN Come, my masters, let us share, and then to horse before day. An the Prince and Poins be not two arrant cowards, there’s no equity stirring. There’s no more valour in that Poins than in a wild duck.

  As they are sharing, the Prince and Poins set upon them

  PRINCE HARRY Your money!

  POINS Villains!

  Gadshill, Russell, and Harvey run away ⌈severally⌉, and Oldcastle, after a blow or two, ⌈roars and⌉ runs away too, leaving the booty behind them

  PRINCE HARRY

  Got with much ease. Now merrily to horse.

  The thieves are all scattered, and possessed with fear

  So strongly that they dare not meet each other.

  Each takes his fellow for an officer.

  Away, good Ned. Oldcastle sweats to death,

  And lards the lean earth as he walks along.

  Were’t not for laughing, I should pity him.

  POINS

  How the fat rogue roared! Exeunt with the booty

  2.4 Enter Hotspur, reading a letter

  HOTSPUR ‘But for mine own part, my lord, I could be well contented to be there, in respect of the love I bear your house.’—He could be contented; why is he not then? In respect of the love he bears our house ! He shows in this he loves his own barn better than he loves our house. Let me see some more.—‘The purpose you undertake is dangerous’—Why, that’s certain: ‘tis dangerous to take a cold, to sleep, to drink; but I tell you, my lord fool, out of this nettle danger we pluck this flower safety.—‘The purpose you undertake is dangerous, the friends you have named uncertain, the time itself unsorted, and your whole plot too light for the counterpoise of so great an opposition.’—Say you so, say you so? I say unto you again, you are a shallow, cowardly hind, and you lie. What a lack-brain is this! By the Lord, our plot is a good plot as ever was laid, our friends true and constant; a good plot, good friends, and full of expectation; an excellent plot, very good friends. What a frosty-spirited rogue is this! Why, my lord of York commends the plot and the general course of the action. Zounds, an I were now by this rascal, I could brain him with his lady’s fan! Is there not my father, my uncle, and myself? Lord Edmund Mortimer, my lord of York, and Owain Glyndwr? Is there not besides the Douglas? Have I not all their letters, to meet me in arms by the ninth of the next month? And are they not some of them set forward already? What a pagan rascal is this, an infidel ! Ha, you shall see now, in very sincerity of fear and cold heart will he to the King, and lay open all our proceedings! O, I could divide myself and go to buffets for moving such a dish of skim-milk with so honourable an action Hang him ! Let him tell the King we are prepared; I will set forward tonight.

  Enter Lady Percy

  How now, Kate? I must leave you within these two hours.

  LADY PERCY

  Omy good lord, why are you thus alone ?

  For what offence have I this fortnight been

  A banished woman from my Harry’s bed?

  Tell me, sweet lord, what is’t that takes from thee

  Thy stomach, pleasure, and thy golden sleep?

  Why dost thou bend thine eyes upon the earth,

  And start so often when thou sitt‘st alone?

  Why hast thou lost the fresh blood in thy cheeks,

  And given my treasures and my rights of thee

  To thick-eyed musing and curst melancholy?

  In thy faint slumbers I by thee have watched,

  And heard thee murmur tales of iron wars,

  Speak terms of manège to thy bounding steed,

  Cry ‘Courage! To the field!’ And thou hast talked

  Of sallies and retires, of trenches, tents,

  Of palisadoes, frontiers, parapets,

  Of basilisks, of cannon, culverin,

  Of prisoners ransomed, and of soldiers slain,

  And all the currents of a heady fight.

  Thy spirit within thee hath been so at war,

  And thus hath so bestirred thee in thy sleep,

  That beads of sweat have stood upon thy brow

  Like bubbles in a late-disturbed stream;

  And in thy face strange motions have appeared,

  Such as we see when men restrain their breath

  On some great sudden hest. O,what portents are

  these?

  Some heavy business hath my lord in hand,

  And I must know it, else he loves me not.

  HOTSPUR

  What ho!

  Enter Servant

  Is Gilliams with the packet gone?

  SERVANT

  He is, my lord, an hour ago.

  HOTSPUR

  Hath Butler brought those horses from the sheriff?

  SERVANT

  One horse, my lord, he brought even now.

  HOTSPUR

  What horse? A roan, a crop-ear, is it not?

  SERVANT

  It is, my lord.

  HOTSPUR That roan shall be my throne.

  Well, I will back him straight.—O,Esperance!—

  Bid Butler lead him forth into the park.

  LADY PERCY

  But hear you, my lord.

  HOTSPUR What sayst thou, my lady?

  LADY PERCY

  What is it carries you away?

  HOTSPUR Why, my horse,

  My love, my horse.

  LADY PERCY Out, you mad-headed ape!

  A weasel hath not such a deal of spleen

  As you are tossed with.

  In faith, I’ll know your business, Harry, that I will.

  I fear my brother Mortimer doth stir

  About his title, and hath sent for you

  To line his enterprise
; but if you go—

  HOTSPUR

  So far afoot? I shall be weary, love.

  LADY PERCY

  Come, come, you paraquito, answer me

  Directly to this question that I ask.

  In faith, I’ll break thy little finger, Harry,

  An if thou wilt not tell me all things true.

  HOTSPUR

  Away, away, you trifler! Love ? I love thee not,

  I care not for thee, Kate. This is no world

  To play with maumets and to tilt with lips.

  We must have bloody noses and cracked crowns,

  And pass them current, too. God’s me, my horse!—

  What sayst thou, Kate? What wouldst thou have

  with me?

  LADY PERCY

  Do you not love me? Do you not indeed?

  Well, do not, then, for since you love me not

  I will not love myself. Do you not love me?

  Nay, tell me if you speak in jest or no.

  HOTSPUR Come, wilt thou see me ride ?

  And when I am a-horseback, I will swear

  I love thee infinitely. But hark you, Kate.

  I must not have you henceforth question me

  Whither I go, nor reason whereabout.

  Whither I must, I must; and, to conclude,

  This evening must I leave you, gentle Kate.

  I know you wise, but yet no farther wise

  Than Harry Percy’s wife; constant you are,

  But yet a woman; and for secrecy

  No lady closer, for I well believe

  Thou wilt not utter what thou dost not know.

  And so far will I trust thee, gentle Kate.

  LADY PERCY How, so far?

  HOTSPUR

  Not an inch further. But hark you, Kate,

  Whither I go, thither shall you go too.

  Today will I set forth, tomorrow you.

  Will this content you, Kate?