Take a Deep Breath (Lake of the Pines)

by Shar Dimick

  “He’s not a stranger, Mom!”

  “I see that now.” Liv pulled the solid red robe around her shoulders. She should have put on her one-piece suit. If she’d known she’d see Cam today, she certainly would have. She no longer had the body for a bikini, if she ever had, but she’d humored her daughter. Sara was rummaging through Liv’s drawers that morning and had pulled out the bikini. Liv had bought it on a sale rack at the end of last summer, but didn’t think she’d actually have to guts to wear it in her backyard let alone in public. Sara had insisted though, as she had on a red tankini and thought it would be fun for them to be “twins.” Liv indulged her daughter. She’d thought it was early enough that she wouldn’t run into anyone she knew. Her ex-husband would have hated the swimsuit, which was probably why she bought it. She inwardly winced, thinking of the choice words he’d have said to her had he seen her in it. She couldn’t bear to hear those words come from Cam’s mouth too and pulled the cover-up closer around her and tied it closed.

  “You don’t have to ruin the gorgeous view on my account,” Cam joked with a lazy smile.

  That dimple, Liv thought.

  “See, Mom! I told ya, you looked hot,” Sara piped in.

  Liv blushed. “Stop, you’re embarrassing me.” Liv gave Sara a warning look.

  “Sorry, Mom!” Sara rolled her eyes and waved as she ran off down the beach with Pup-Pup.

  “Stay where I can see you!” Liv called after her.

  Sara shook her head and waved again.

  “You don’t have to be embarrassed, you know. You do look really “hot” in that bathing suit,” Cam said now that Sara was out of earshot. Stop flirting with her; he immediately thought as soon as the words left his mouth. It so hard not too though… His inner voice answered.

  Liv blushed again. “Thanks. I was a little chilly, that’s all.”

  I can warm you up.” Damn, there I go again, he thought as the words left his mouth.

  Liv laughed. “I’m sure you could Cam, but I think I’ll have to settle for the robe for now. It is a public beach you know,” she flirted back.

  “Right, too bad…”

  “Are you in a hurry?” Liv fidgeted with the edge of her robe. She felt like an eager school girl again.

  “Not really. I was out on my morning run when I ran into Sara and Pup-Pup or should I say they ran into me.”

  They both glanced over to watch Sara and Pup-Pup playing along the edge of the water. Pup-Pup charged into the waves after the ball. The yellow ball in her mouth she circled Sara and then dropped the ball in the sand a few feet away from her. The imp shook herself off and sprayed water everywhere. Sara laughed and brushed the hair back from her face. Just as Sara reached for the ball, Pup-Pup grabbed it in her mouth again and took off. Sara ran after the dog. Her legs were long and tan like her mother’s. She looked so graceful as she ran across the beach. Finally realizing she couldn’t catch Pup-Pup, Sara stopped and ran in the opposite direction. As soon as Pup-Pup saw that Sara wasn’t chasing her anymore, the puppy ran after Sara. Pup-Pup caught up with Sara and passed her quickly. Sara sat down in the sand and Pup-Pup jumped in her lap. Sara took the opportunity to grab the ball and throw it for the little dog as they started the game over.

  “I think I’m going to have my hands full with those two. Do you want to sit down for a minute? I have some bottled water in the cooler.” Liv gestured to the small red cooler sitting in the shade under Sara’s beach chair.

  “That would be great.” Cam sat on the chair next to hers and took the bottle of water Liv offered him. The water felt cool going down his throat. In his rush to leave that morning, he’d forgotten his own water bottle. “That tastes really good. Thanks.” Liv didn’t reply. He turned toward her and studied her face. She had her sunglasses down and her mouth was twisted. “Liv, are you home?”

  “What? Oh. Sorry Cam. I was just thinking.”

  “Care to share your thoughts?” He finished off the water and leaned back in the chair, stretching his long legs in front of him.

  “I was just thinking back to when we were kids. Sara is about the same age I was when we first met.”

  “Hard to believe isn’t it?”

  “I know. It seems like yesterday the only worries I had during the summer were which bathing suit to wear and if you and I would go swimming, boating or hiking.”

  “Yeah, those were great days. To think we spent so much time wanting to be adults and have more responsibilities. We didn’t know how lucky we were back then.”

  “So true, we had our whole lives ahead of us. A clean slate to be anything and do anything we wanted.” Liv sighed. “We both had so many dreams, hopes…Life has a funny way of getting in the way though, doesn’t it? Look at me now. Who would have thought I’d end up…”

  “Mom,” Sara called, “I’m thirsty!”

  “What? Come closer. I can’t hear you.”

  “I’m thirsty!”

  “Come over here and talk to me.”

  Sara rolled her eyes again and ran up to her mother with Pup-Pup in tow, dripping water and sand on Liv’s sun-warmed legs.

  “Sara! Watch what you’re doing! You’re getting me all wet! That’s cold!”

  “Oops. Sorry Mom.” Sara shrugged and gave her mom an innocent smile.

  “Now what did you need?”

  “I’m thirsty. Can I have a drink?”

  “Can I have a drink, what?”

  “Can I have a drink, please?”

  “That’s better.” Liv popped open the little cooler again and dug out an apple juice box.

  “Thanks, Mom!” Sara pulled off the little straw and stabbed it into the box. She sucked it all down in a matter of seconds and handed the empty box back to Liv.

  “See you later. Pup-Pup and I are going to finish making our sandcastle!”

  “Okay. Just stay where I can see you,” Liv reminded Sara again.

  “I know, Mom! You’ve reminded me ten times already!” Sara yelled back as she ran toward the shore.

  Liv glanced over at Cam. He was smiling at her.

  “What?”

  “Nothing…”

  “I know. I sound just like my mother. After vowing all those years ago never to be like her when I had kids, I find her words coming out of my mouth all the time.” Liv laughed at herself. “Who would have thought me a mother…”

  “From what I can see, it looks like you’re a damn good one too.”

  “I try my best. Sometimes though, I wonder if my best is good enough.”

  “I’m sure every parent thinks that at one time or another. Sara looks like a happy, well-adjusted young girl to me. So you must be doing something right.”

  “Thanks. She is pretty great, despite my shortcomings,” Liv shook her head.

  “Everyone has those, but I know your good qualities far outweigh any shortcomings you think you have. You’ve always been hardest on yourself.”

  “Yeah, maybe…”

  “So are you still a writer? I keep watching the bestseller list for your name.” Cam changed the subject to something lighter.

  Liv laughed. “Yeah, that was the dream once. I did have a couple of poems and short stories published in college, but it’s been a long time since I had time to work on my novel or anything really. I do tell an occasional story to Sara, but I haven’t written any of them down. I actually teach writing these days. I’m an English and Composition instructor at a local community college back in Ohio. It pays the bills.”

  “I’m sure you are an excellent teacher, but don’t give up on your writing dreams, Livvy.”

  Liv smiled. Cam was the only one besides her grandmother that called her Livvy anymore. “I haven’t. I won’t. I’ll get back to it someday… And look at you? A doctor. That’s pretty amazing. You must get a lot of satisfaction out of helping people.”

  “Yeah, it really is fulfilling, at least when I actually get to help people.”

  “What do you mean? When you actually get to help people? I
sn’t that your job?”

  “With insurance companies, malpractice threats, big business and office politics, I don’t get as much time to help people as I’d like to. It gets frustrating at times.”

  “I never thought about that.”

  “Pre-authorizations, time-limits on patient visits, over-booking patients, it all starts to take a lot of the satisfaction away. That’s why I…”

  “Cam! Mom! Come look,” Sara called running toward the lounge chairs. “Come check our sandcastle!” Sara pulled on Liv’s hand trying to pull her up out of the chair.

  “Sara Annabel. You just interrupted Cam.”

  “It’s okay. I need to get going anyway. I should finish my run before it gets too hot,” Cam stood and stretched his calf muscles.

  “Do you have to?” Sara asked.

  “I’m afraid so. I need to cut the grass today.”

  “Boring…Will you at least come see my sandcastle first?”

  “Sure thing, Squirt.”

  Liv and Cam followed Sara toward the sandcastle with Pup-Pup bouncing by her side.

  “We need to find some adult-only time where we can catch up uninterrupted.”

  “I’d like that.”

  “How about tonight?” Liv’s voice sounded a little anxious. “Or later this week,” she added suddenly unsure of herself. “I’m sure my Grandma would watch Sara for me.” Liv continued to ramble on nervously.

  “Tonight sounds good. I’ll pick you up around seven?”

  “Perfect.”

  “Oh no!” Sara cried as they reached the edge of the beach where she and Pup-Pup had built their sandcastle. Pup-Pup stood on top of what remained of her three-tiered castle. “It’s ruined!” Sara started to pout.

  “It’s okay, Sweetie. That’s what happens to sandcastles. You build them and then the waves and cute little puppies knock them done. Here, I’ll help you build a new one.” Liv consoled Sara and sat in the sand next to her. She scooped some wet sand in her hands and started dribbling it on the remnants of the previous castle.

  “Hey, that looks cool!” Sara scooped up some wet sand herself and imitated Liv’s technique.

  “You girls are quite a team!” Cam smiled at them. “Have fun. I’ll see you tonight Liv.”

  “Right. Seven o’clock. See you then,” Liv confirmed and waved to him as he jogged backwards a few steps and then turned away from her. He slowly picked up his pace and jogged down the beach toward the boardwalk.

  “What’s at seven, Mom?”

  “Oh, Cam and I are going out to dinner to catch up with each other.”

  “Can I come too? Please, please, please!”

  “Not this time. Cam and I want to spend a little time alone so we can talk.”

  “That’s not fair,” Sara pouted.

  “I’m sure you and Grandma will have fun together.”

  “I guess,” Sara gave in. Her face suddenly brightened. “Are you guys going on a date?”

  “No, no, we’re good friends that want to spend a little time together reconnecting.”

  “If you say so, but I think Cam really like, likes you.”

  Liv smiled at her daughter. Her heart skipped a beat and her stomach flip-flopped. What if he really does? She thought, trying not to get her hopes up.

  Cam smiled to himself as he followed the boardwalk back to the main road that led home. He had a date with Liv! Well, technically not a date. She’s married, he reminded himself. We’re just friends. Then, why does it feel like more? He thought as he pictured her lying back on the lounge chair in the little flowered bikini she had on. He wondered what it would be like to taste her lips, to untie the string behind her neck, letting the top fall away so he could see her. So he could taste her… Stop. Don’t do anything stupid to wreck your friendship with her. A cold shower definitely was in order.

  Chapter Four

  Liv checked the clock above the kitchen sink for the tenth time in five minutes. The hands seemed to move in slow motion. It was only 6:17 PM. She paced back and forth a few times and then sat at the table, only to stand up and begin pacing again. She took a deep breath in and held it. She slowly released the air in her lungs as she counted to ten. She repeated the steps a few more times in a futile effort to soothe her nerves. At least I don’t feel panicky, she thought. That’s a good sign.

  She wandered down the hall into the living room and checked her appearance again. She frowned at her reflection. I still look tired. Duh, you are tired! She fussed with her hair, tucking a few pieces back into her loose French twist. She reapplied her lipstick and smiled at herself. Better. Liv heard the screen door open and close followed by the scurry of little puppy paws and little girl tennis shoes.

  “Mom! Where are you? We’re home!”

  “I’m in the hall,” Liv said as she came into the living room to greet Sara, Pup-Pup and her grandmother.

  “Oh, there you are! Guess what! Grandma let me get McDonald’s for supper! And, we rented a movie and Grandma said later we could play cards.” Sara prattled on without taking a breath.

  “Slow down a little, Sweetie. Wow, it sounds like you guys are going to have a great time!” Liv turned towards the older woman. “Thanks Grandma. I really appreciate you watching Sara for me tonight.”

  “Think nothing of it, dear. I’m happy to. You deserve some time to yourself. And, it gives me time to spoil my great-granddaughter here, without any interference from her mother. Now you go ahead and have a wonderful time on your date with Cam and don’t worry about a thing here. We’ll be fine.”

  “Gram, I told you, it’s not a date.”

  Sara and Hannah shared a knowing smile.

  “Will you two stop, all ready?” Liv’s cheeks burned red. She felt like she was back in junior high. She wished it were a real date, but found it hard to believe that Cam wasn’t involved with somebody else. However, he hadn’t mentioned anyone special in his life. Of course, she hadn’t asked either.

  “Either way, Liv, I hope you two have a nice time. Stay out as late as you want,” Hannah said and winked at her.

  Liv pretended she hadn’t noticed her Grandma’s wink, wink. At least the friendly teasing had taken her mind off her jitters. She checked her cell phone. No messages, no texts. Well, she thought, at least he hadn’t canceled. It was five until seven now. She tucked her phone into her purse along with her lipstick.

  “Sara, why don’t you take your food into the kitchen and eat before it gets cold,” Hannah said. “I’ll join you in a few minutes.” She then turned toward Liv. She watched as her granddaughter fidgeted with her purse and then moved in front of the window to watch the lake.

  “Relax, Honey.” Hannah came up behind Liv and squeezed her shoulders. “It’s Cam. You’ve known him forever. You’ll have a great time. I know it.”

  “I know Gram. I just don’t want to have another panic attack in front of him.”

  “I know you don’t. Try to put those thoughts out of your mind. You can’t control whether you have one or not. You can only control your thoughts and try to keep positive. Anyway, knowing Cameron, he’ll help you through it if you do have one.” Hannah continued to reassure Liv.

  “You’re right Gram. I just don’t want him to think I’m weak or defective.” Tears welled in Liv’s eyes.

  “He won’t. I’m sure of it. No one thinks that.” Hannah wiped Liv’s tears away with her thumbs.

  “But, Ron…”

  “Ron can be an ass at times. And Cam is not Ron.”

  “Thanks, Gram. You always know what to say to make me feel better.” Liv hugged her grandmother.

  “Mom, Cam’s here!” Sara called from the kitchen.

  Liv’s stomach fluttered. She reminded herself, it’s just dinner with an old friend. “I’m going to go fix my makeup,” Liv called to her grandmother. “Can you tell him I’ll be right out?”

  “Sure thing.” Hannah headed to the living room.

  Liv heard the door open as Sara let in Cam. Sara immediately began to fi
ll him in on all the activities she had planned with her grandma for the evening. Liv repaired her eye makeup and at the last second spritzed on a little cherry blossom body mist. She took in one last deep breath in and slowly exhaled.

  As she came around the corner into the living room she paused and watched Cam. He was laughing with Sara as he rubbed Pup-Pup’s belly. He looked so natural with them. He glanced up and saw her standing in the hall. He stood up and smiled at her. He had on a pair of straight-legged khaki’s that fit his narrow waist perfectly. The white, button-down shirt he’d put with it was open at the throat revealing a peek of his tanned, muscular chest. Liv briefly wondered what it would be like to run her hands over his bare chest and blushed. Stop that, she chided herself. We’re just friends. She couldn’t help fantasizing about him though. He looked so good. He hadn’t pulled his hair back, leaving it to hang in waves around his face. Liv stepped toward him and without thinking, reached up and tucked the strand of hair hanging in his face behind his ear.

  “You look great,” she breathed, realizing her mistake when her took her out-stretched hand and pressed a kiss to it.

  “So do you.” She felt herself blush again as his kiss sent shivers through her body. She quickly withdrew her hand from his and turned to her grandmother.

  “Gram, you can call my cell phone if you need anything.”

  “Quit worrying. Go and have a good time.”

  Then Liv turned to where Sara was playing with her puppy. “And you. Be good. Listen to what your grandmother tells you.”

  “I will, Mom.”

  Cam studied Liv as she went through the motions of saying goodbye for the evening. She looked flustered, nervous. Damn, he thought. I shouldn’t have kissed her hand. Now she’s probably worried I’m going to put the moves on her. She’d made it impossible for him to resist though. Her hand was so close to his mouth when she’d brushed his hair away. Her perfume intoxicated him and he’d reacted instinctively. She obviously was being motherly by pushing his hair back, not coming on to him. He needed to keep reminding himself that she was a married woman with a young daughter. He’d need to do better for the rest of the evening if he expected to keep her friendship and not get slapped in the face.