Heart Song (The Erotic Rockstar Series)

by Botefuhr, Bec

  “Whatever, I am going out.”

  She glares at me, and I return it with full force. She grips her car keys and storms out the front yard, muttering bitch and favorite under her breath. She gets into her car and slams it into gear, and reverses straight into mine. I hear the crashing sound and go bounding outside. I feel my mouth drop open, the little bitch. She is faking shock but I know damn well she didn’t hit that car by accident.

  “I didn’t mean to, I didn’t see it.”

  “You cow!” I snarl, inspecting the damage. “What is wrong with you, I never did anything to you!”

  “I didn’t ask you to come back and ruin things between me and Daddy.”

  I glare at her, then I storm over and stop in front of her. She takes a step back, her eyes widen a little.

  “I didn’t ask for you to come and ruin things two years ago either, but I got little say about it. You can’t get rid of me, I am his daughter too and as much as I hate the fact that you and I are related, we are, so you better back off and if you break something else of mine again, I will break that beautiful nose.”

  “It is a heap of shit, like it matters.” She snarls.

  I lunge forward but Chief catches me around the waist, hurling me back.

  “That’s enough, fucking hell; I am too old for this shit. Jasmine, you are paying for that fucking car and if you do it again, I will return the favor on your car. Mischief, break her pretty nose and I’ll put my boot up your ass.”

  I slap his hands away, and yank the keys from my pocket.

  “I am going out, house hunting!” I snap.

  “Jesus kid, you just got home. Can we not do this over and over again?”

  I turn to stare at Chief, he is eyeing me and his face is angry.

  “I need time, can you give me that?”

  He sighs and rubs his head.

  “Alright kid, come over here and hug me first.”

  I give a weak smile, then walk over and wrap my arms around him. He holds me for long, long Moments.

  “Come back, do you hear me?”

  “I will, I just need a breather.”

  I walk over to my car and yank the good door open, and slide in. I stare at the dinted door and growl under my breath. I yank the gear into drive and plant my foot on the accelerator. I go to the one place I know I can find support; Reagan’s. We have kept in contact for the past two years, not once forgetting each other. She doesn’t know I am back in town, so it will be a good surprise. I pull up at her apartment and get out of the car, and then I head inside. I knock only for a second before Reagan opens the door and all I can hear for a moment is her squealing.

  “Oh my God, it isn’t…”

  “It is,” I grin. “Get over here.”

  I pull her into my arms and we jump up and down hugging for long moments. When we pull back, I look over her. She looks amazing, still the same dark haired, dark eyed beauty she always was. She does the same to me, then cups my face in her hands and kisses my cheeks.

  “God Vi, I missed you.”

  “Me too, can I come in?”

  “Yes, of course!”

  We walk inside and flop down onto the couch. The good thing about best friends is that it doesn’t matter how long you are apart, you always start up where you left off like nothing changed.

  “You came back.” She smiles, holding my hands.

  “I came back. Mom wanted to travel and I needed to put the past to bed.”

  “So have you been home?” She asks, her voice serious now.

  I sigh. “Yes, I have seen Chief and his dragon daughter.”

  “And…”

  “Yes, I know he lives next door.” I say, knowing she is hinting at Travis.

  “How did that feel?”

  “I don’t know. You never told me?”

  “I don’t talk to Trav a lot, I see Harley all the time and the only time I see Trav is at his shows, and he doesn’t speak to me.”

  “He doesn’t try and say hello?” I ask, shocked.

  “No, he ignores me. He is…different now.”

  “So I keep hearing, is he with anyone?” I dare to ask.

  “No, I don’t think so. Harley would tell me if he was.”

  “I don’t know how I will feel seeing him again. I just don’t know anything anymore.”

  “Aw honey, maybe it’s just how it’s meant to be.”

  “Chief said I broke him, that he isn’t the same man anymore.”

  “Honey, he broke you too. It wasn’t one sided. You were hurt, not only by him but by your Father, you needed time.”

  “I gave up the one thing I needed Reagan, I haven’t moved on, I haven’t stopped loving him. How do you suppose I will ever get past it?”

  She grips my hands tightly. “Time honey, it all takes time.”

  I let out a whoosh of air. “Well, I need to find a place and get out of Chief’s house. I can’t take much of princess Jasmine.”

  “I heard she is a bitch.”

  I laugh. “That hardly covers it.”

  “So are you going to rent?”

  “Buy, I have enough money from the sale of our old house. Mom gave me some and I put it away and saved it.”

  “You know I am selling this place?”

  I look over at her. “You are?”

  “Didn’t I tell you? Harley and I bought a house together.”

  I beam. “Reagan!”

  “It’s so exciting.”

  “I am so happy for you.”

  “So, it is up for sale.”

  “How much?”

  She gives me a price and I look around the beautiful apartment. It is worth every penny and is perfect for me.

  “Sold, I have enough to cover that and get some furniture.”

  She grins. “I am leaving some here, Harley has heaps.”

  “You don’t have to do that.”

  “I was going to anyway, now I am happy because I was so sad about selling this place but now I get to come back all the time!”

  “It is perfect for me, when can I buy it?”

  “I am staying with Harley, so feel free to move in now. The sale will go through in two weeks.”

  “Oh Reagan really? That makes me happy because I can’t stand to stay with Chief if Trav is right next door.”

  “Of course, go get your things and come back. We have so much to catch up on.”

  We hug again and she stands to get some coffee. I walk over to the kitchen, and slide my bottom onto the counter.

  “So, you are going to hate me for this but I really need someone to come to Harley’s show tonight.”

  I frown. “You mean Trav’s show.”

  She smiles sheepishly. “Ok, you figured that out. Please come, I hate going alone.”

  “I don’t know…”

  “Please Vi? I really would appreciate it.”

  I sigh, and lean back. “Ok, because I love you so much and have missed you like crazy.”

  She claps her hands.

  “We are going to have a blast.”

  “I don’t know about that.”

  We talk for three more hours and she tells me about her and Harley, and how well they have been getting along. I am thrilled for her, he is a good guy and she loves him. I tell her I am going back to get my things, and that I will be back tonight and we can go to the show. I don’t tell her I feel sick inside knowing we are going to that show…hopefully we can just stand back and Trav won’t see me. Hopefully.

  When I get back to Chief’s house, he and Jasmine are in the kitchen cutting up something for dinner. They look happy, laughing and joking together. I know it’s childish, believe me I do, but I feel insanely jealous. I throw my keys on the bench and turn around, Chief calls out my name and I stop. I close my eyes a moment, then turn back to face him.

  “How did you go?”

  “I am moving to Reagan’s tonight.” I say, my voice hard.

  “Already? Kid, I just got you back.” He says, walking over and standing in
front of me.

  “Doesn’t look like you need me.”

  “No need to be a bitch.” Jasmine snaps.

  I spin back around but am caught by the waist, Chief yanks me back.

  “Let me go Chief.”

  “Come on and settle down Mischief, you can’t be trying to fight her at every chance you get. What’s going on? Talk to me.”

  “Just let me go, for fucks sakes, just let me fucking go!” I scream.

  I shove him back and rush up the stairs. When I get into my room, I fall to my knees. I wrap my arms around myself and I cry, for everything I have lost, and everything I haven’t. I need to move past this, need to let it all go. Chief opens the door to see me on the floor hugging myself. He drops to his knees and takes my face in his hands.

  “What has happened to you Mischief?”

  I close my eyes and grit my teeth, feral tears slide down my cheeks and over Chief’s hands. He yanks me to his chest and settles down onto the floor, holding me until I am out of sobs, I just sit there heaving. He strokes my hair, and whispers soothing words over and over.

  “Come on now, it’s going to be alright.”

  “I am all screwed up.” I whisper.

  “Nah, you aren’t. You just need a little time.”

  “And a lot of alcohol.”

  He snorts a laugh. “There’s my girl.”

  “I am sorry, I don’t mean to be rude or horrible to you or her, but she just pushes my buttons.”

  He sighs and leans back, looking down at me.

  “I know she does, and I have tried and tried to get her to stop. I had to threaten her tonight and tell her if she didn’t stop I would kick her out.”

  “Did that hurt you?” I whisper.

  “Yeah Mischief, it did. It ain’t her fault she is the way she is, and she is my daughter.”

  “And me?”

  He sits thinking for a long moment, then stands up and lifts his shirt, showing me a new tattoo of my name and Jasmine’s name on his chest. Mine is covering his heart.

  “You see this; this is on my heart for a reason. You are my girl, my number one baby no matter what. That doesn’t mean I don’t love her, because I do but you Mischief, you are always going to be special to me. You are my number one girl, you know that don’t ya Mischief?”

  I smile up at him, loving those words.

  “I know that Chief, I’ve always known that.”

  “Don’t go pushing your old man away like that again; you are breaking my heart kid.”

  I nod. “I was jealous.”

  He looks hard at me.

  “Oh?”

  “I came in and I saw you two laughing, it just hurt. I have missed you Daddy, and my life has been difficult over the past two years.”

  “I heard Gran died.”

  “Yeah, Mom and I looked after her. I didn’t have friends, I didn’t go out, I just spent all my time helping Mom take care of Gran.”

  “And Mom? Is she…ok?”

  “No, she isn’t. She was so messed up when I got there, my problems only added to it. She was scarred from Demon, I was scarred from you and Trav. Together, we were a mess. Poor Gran, she was sick and she lived through constant screaming each night.”

  “You two fought?”

  “No Daddy,” I whisper. “It was nightmares.”

  He flinches and closes his eyes.

  “She dreams of Demon, I dream of Jeremy.”

  “Every night kid?”

  “Every long, horrible night.”

  He strokes my cheek.

  “I know what Jeremy did; Trav was all fucked up over it too. I know he shot himself right near you, kid, I don’t know what to say to make that better.”

  “Nothing can make that better Dad, nothing.”

  He nods and looks away.

  “I can’t make that better, but I can tell you that I am sorry Mischief, real damn sorry. I didn’t tell you about Jasmine because I didn’t know how and…look there are no excuses but I am sorry.”

  I nod, biting my lip. “It’s ok, I am past it.”

  “She might be a real bitch to you right now, but I can tell you this, that girl is real lonely and she could use a big sister.”

  I swallow.

  “I don’t share well Chief, I never have.”

  He grins, but it’s pained.

  “No, but can you try and share this one with me kid?”

  I nod; I would do anything to feel better with my family again.

  “Anything for you old man.”

  He grins for real now and chucks me under the chin.

  “There’s my girl. Come down and have dinner with us before you go, please?”

  “Alright, I will.”

  He smiles and walks out, leaving me to my packing. When I am done, I go and have dinner with them. Surprisingly, it is quite pleasant and Jasmine actually makes small talk with me. Granted, it isn’t deep conversations, but it is pleasant and Chief is smiling by the end of the night, and that, makes my heart feel just a touch better.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  The show is crowded; women are all dressed and screaming for the band to come out. The Red Phoenix is the most popular band around, even two years on. My heart is clenching and my stomach is turning so much I consider going and throwing up just to make it feel better. Seeing Trav again, I don’t know how that will feel. I don’t even know if I want to see him yet.

  Reagan is beside me, holding my hand. She is beaming and staring at the stage, I can see she is so in love. She is proud, happy and that makes me happy, for her. When the lights dim and the stage becomes a rainbow of colors, I swallow rapidly. I can’t do this, not now. Reagan squeezes my hand tighter, as if she can read my mind. I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths. Supporting Reagan, stay back, he won’t see you.

  “Can ya’ll give a loud scream, for the Red Phoenix!” A man yells over the loud speaker.

  The crowd goes crazy and the music begins pounding. I watch Harley and Marcus come out first, and I beam. Reagan yells out and jumps up and down, Harley spots her and gives her a wink, and then his eyes fall on me and widen. He shakes his head quickly, and goes to his drums and begins playing loudly. Then they call out Travis and the women scream, cell phones light up as they record him coming out.

  Then there he is; my whole world slows for a moment as I take him in. The years have changed him. His blonde hair is a touch lighter and a touch longer; it is messy and very rock looking. His face is still the same gorgeous picture it always was. His body, oh his body, seems to have filled out more in the past two years. His chest is huge and so toned his black shirt stretches tightly across it.

  “Oh…my…God.” I choke.

  “He looks good right?” Reagan whispers.

  “I can’t…do this…”

  “If you run, he will notice you. Just stay until he goes back, then you can go.”

  “I can’t…Reagan…it hurts.”

  Travis starts singing and my knees go weak. His voice, oh God his voice. I had made a point of not listening to the radio or his music in the past two years. Hearing it now tears into my heart in a way that has me gripping my chest and panting. He belts out his song “Lovers unbound.” And I crumble. Angry tears slide down my cheeks, and I begin backing up, that is when his eyes fall on me.

  He stops singing, just like that. His eyes are burning into mine and so many unspoken words pass between us. It is then I also notice the dark shadows under his eyes, and the fact that his cheeks look a little sunken. He narrows his eyes, and I continue backing up. The fans are screaming, wondering why he stopped singing. Harley walks over and grips the microphone.

  “Sorry all, our boy here isn’t feeling too well tonight. We will be back in five.”

  That is when I turn and run. I bolt out the door and shove through the crowd of people waiting to get in. I am just hitting the sidewalk when someone grips my arm and swings me around.

  “Travis, oh my God, it’s Travis!” Women scream.

  “Can
I have your number?”

  “Fuck me Travis.”

  I can’t hear anything over their obsessive screaming, but I can see, and that is enough. Travis is holding onto me, panting. His eyes are bloodshot and he looks drained. Travis always looked radiant, beautiful and irresistible but right now he truly does look like the life has been sucked out of him. I open my mouth to speak, but he cuts me off.

  “What the fuck are you doing here?”

  Ouch, didn’t expect that one.

  “I…I…came to see Reagan.”

  “Well go back to where you fucking came from.” He snarls.

  “I can’t do that.” I cry.

  “Why not?”

  “Because I live here…”

  “What?” He growls, clenching his fists.

  “I wanted to come back and…”

  “And what?” He roars, onlookers are having a great time watching our show. “And pick up the pieces you left behind? Fuck off Violet, go home.”

  “No, that isn’t what I came here for.”

  “Then what did you come here for?”

  “I don’t have time to talk about this with you Travis. I can’t do this now.”

  “You can’t do this now? When can you do it Violet, when you fucking feel like it? I waited two fucking years for you, and you gave me NOTHING!” He is panting now, and he is scaring me. “And now you think you can pick and choose when we talk about this. No, guess what? You don’t get to run from this again. I have gone over this in my head for years, what I would say when I saw you again and right now all I can think of is fuck you.”

  I stare up at him, feeling tears well in my eyes.

  “That’s right,” He rasps. “Fuck you; you deserve nothing more than that right now. You left and never gave me a chance to explain, you never even had the decency to break it off with me. You are so selfish. Don’t come back here and think things will be better when YOU decide to make them better. You made the choice when you ran, you broke me Violet.”

  He turns and storms off, leaving me heaving and panting as I digest his words. That is not how I expected things to go, not in my wildest dreams. I made a mistake, a mistake that not only cost me the love of my life, but my best friend too.

  “Are you ok?” Reagan asks, coming up behind me.

  “I don’t know…I didn’t expect that to happen.”