Masked Feelings

by Lechna Baram

  “That was the intention!” I retorted.

  “Are you guys fighting again?!” Alena shouted from the kitchen as we approached. Dean and I stared at each other.

  “No!” we shouted at the same time with stupid grins on our faces. We walked in the kitchen to see Alena and Celina cutting vegetables. Jeff and Damian were nowhere to be seen.

  “Your father needs you in the office,” Celina told Dean, who nodded and walked away.

  “How can I help you?” I asked, feeling slightly weird because I wasn't helping.

  “Cut the bell pepper,” my sister told me. I nodded and quickly started doing what she told me after I was given a chopper and a knife.

  “You're having dinner at my place today,” Celina announced. No. She didn't ask. I smiled slightly, then nodded.

  “No problem,” I said and while cutting the vegetables, we started gossiping. I've learnt that Celina loves to cook so at times to times, she'd give her cook paid holidays so that she could prepare her own food. I liked being in the company of my sister and Celina. It was like a throwback to when I was eight or nine. It was like a throwback to when my mother still acted like a mother.

  I was sitting next to Damian.

  It was a huge table and the only seat that I got was just next to Damian. Memories flooded my mind. I remembered the dinner at my parent's place. The sweet memory made me squeeze my thighs together in want. His sexy self next to me wasn't helping either. He was ignoring me. I decided to ignore him as well. Thomas was seated next to Celina. She was really a motherly figure to him.

  “I'm so glad that we're having this unexpected dinner,” Celina said with a sigh. I smiled. To be honest, I wasn't feeling uncomfortable at all, except for the whole Damian situation. Otherwise, I was happy to be here. They were people that I appreciate.

  “Agreed,” Alena piped in with her cheery voice. My phone started vibrating. The vibration in my bag made my fidget a little bit. I was pretty sure that it was Rose.

  “Would you mind if I answer my phone?” I asked quickly.

  “Of course not!” Jeff said and I took my bag before walking out of the dining room. I fished my phone out of my bag and quickly answered.

  “Hello?” I answered.

  “Where are you?” I could hear Rose ask. She didn't seem okay.

  “I'm at Dean's parents. What's wrong?” I could feel the hair on my arms rising. Something was wrong.

  “No. I'm okay.” I could detect the slurring. Rose drunk was not really a good thing. My heart raced.

  “Where are you?” I asked more sternly.

  “I don't really know,” she said before bursting out in a fit of giggles. “I don't know anything! I'm so stupid! I want to go home!” she screamed making me tense.

  “Rose. Listen to my voice. Where are you right now?” I asked seriously, trying not to panic myself.

  “I don't know. There's a lake,” she said, sounding tired and sleepy. There was only the park which had a lake.

  “You stay there! I'm coming to pick you up.” I ordered. The call ended without her giving me an answer. I groaned and walked back in the dining room. Damian's eyes were on me as soon as I was back.

  “Is something wrong, sweetheart?” Jeff asked with a frown on his face.

  “I'm extremely sorry but I have to go,” I told them and watched as Alena frowned.

  “You didn't come in your car.” She pointed out. Oh well, shit.

  “I'm going to take the bus and go home then take my car,” I told her as I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I walked to Thomas and gave him a kiss on the forehead. “I'll see you later, buddy,” I said. Then I turned to Celina and Jeff. “I had a nice time.”

  “Likewise, honey,” Celina responded.

  “Dean, go drop her to her house,” Alena ordered.

  “No,” I said.

  “I'll have the driver drop you at your house,” Jeff said with a smile. I smiled back and nodded. Jeff stood up and made his way to the door. I followed behind, stressing even more. I tried calling Rose again but she wasn't answering.

  “Holy fuck,” I cursed in annoyance.

  “Don't curse,” Jeff scolded. I nodded and just as Jeff was about to call the driver, Damian walked out.

  “I'll take her,” Damian said.

  “No, I'll be fine with the driver,” I quickly said, not wanting to be alone with him.

  “You seem to be in a hurry and the driver isn't coming anytime soon.” Damian pointed out, staring at me seriously.

  “Yeah go with him, Athena,” Jeff told me. I nodded reluctantly but somehow, deep down I was kinda happy that he thought about helping me.

  Damian started walking to his car and I followed behind him after saying good bye to his father. Jeff stood there and watched us get into the car. Damian didn't utter a word even when we sat in the car and he drove away. I noticed Jeff walking back in the house.

  “Where do you need to go?” Damian asked, sounding cold as ever.

  “To my apartment,” I responded in the same tone.

  “Where do you need to go, Athena?” he asked again. He wanted to know the destination.

  “To the park,” I said as I tried calling Rose again. Still, no answer. Damn. The worst scenario appeared in my head. What if someone finds her and rapes her? What if they kill her? I groaned and facepalmed my face.

  “What's wrong?” Damian asked.

  “Why do you care?” I snapped, not wanting to talk right now. I tended to be grumpy when I was stressed.

  “Athena,” he said in a threatening tone. I sighed and turned to look at his sexy self.

  “Damian, I don't want to talk right now,” I said before closing my eyes and resting my head against the window.

  “I'm sorry for earlier,” he said. I opened my eyes to look at him. He was still staring at the road. He was trying to appear emotionless.

  “For what?”

  “For ending the deal.”

  “No, that's cool,” I told him. “I think you did the right thing.” He turned to look at me, most probably to see whether I meant my words or now. I did mean them.

  “I did?” he asked. I nodded.

  Soon, we reached the park. I took a deep breath and took off the seat belt. I got out of the car with my phone in my hand. I noticed that Damian was getting out of the car as well. Damn. He was sexy as hell. His gray eyes were sparkling a little bit. Even the watch he was wearing was sparkling due to the moon.

  “Where are you going?” I asked as I put a hand on my hips.

  “You thought I'd let you go alone?” he scoffed. I wanted to smile but I didn't. I rolled my eyes and tried calling Rose again. “What are we doing here?” Damian asked as he walked by my side.

  “We're here to pick up a drunken Rose,” I said as I tried calling Rose again. “She said she was by the lake,” I mumbled and started walking in the direction of the lake. Damian followed behind without saying a word. As we walked on the pathway, I called again with the hope that I'll hear her ringing tone.

  “Athena, we'll find her,” Damian tried to reassure but I simply ignored him and kept looking for my friend. As we reached near a bench, I could hear someone vomiting. I quickly ran to the noise and saw Rose leaning over a trash can and throwing up in it.

  “Rose!” I called and watched as she ran her hand over her mouth before turning to me with her eyes nearly closed.

  “At–” Before she could say anything, she threw up again on the grass.

  “We need to take her to the car,” Damian said as he frowned. The state in which Rose was in, was horrible. I knew her. Something must have happened. Once I was sure that Rose was done with vomiting, I approached her and wiped her mouth with her jacket and threw it in the bin.

  You don't need to tell her that.

  “I'll carry her. You open the door,” Damian told me as he threw his car keys towards me. I nodded and waited for him to take Rose. He took a deep breath and made a funny face. “She smells horrible,” he commented. I chuckled as
he picked her up bridal style then made his way to the car. I quickly pressed on the unlocked button and opened the door of the backseat. Damian settled her in the car before turning to me. “I'm buying a new car tomorrow,” he said, making me roll my eyes. I was somehow pretty sure that he was not kidding.

  “Let's go,” I told him. He nodded and got in his seat. Just as I was about to get into the car, I realized that Rose's bag was not with her. “I'm going to look for her bag,” I informed Damian as I started making my way back to where I found Rose. The moon made the lake look so beautiful. A smile slowly appeared on my face. I sighed and started looking for the bag. Soon, I saw the silvery bag near the lake. Half of it was under water. I approached it and slightly groaned as I leaned and picked up the bag. It was all muddy and I felt like giving it the same treatment as Rose's jacket but I took a deep breath and decided that it would be better if Rose got her bag. She was most probably going to kill me because of the jacket. Just as I was about to turn around, I felt someone grab my elbow. At first, I thought that it was Damian.

  “Don't move.” As soon as I heard the unfamiliar rough voice, I started panicking.

  Come on, Athena. Breathe in, breathe out.

  “Who are you?” I asked, my voice shaking a little bit.

  “I'm the one with the knife here, girl. You don't get to ask questions.”

  Wait. He had a knife? What the fuck? I was literally shaking in fear by then.

  “What do you want?” I asked. Are you serious? He just told you that you don't get to ask questions! My mind screamed at me. I closed my eyes, trying not to have a panic attack.

  “He told me to tell you that what you do for a living is not good. That's why you're being sent to hell,” the man told me and before I could realize what I was happening, I could feel a burning pain on my left arm. That fucker slashed my arm. I stared in bewilderment as blood started oozing out of the wound. Just as I was about to turn around, I was being pushed into the lake.

  No big deal?

  It's a big deal.

  Why?

  Because I don't know how to swim.

  As soon as I was in the water, my main aim was to stay afloat. I could feel my wound burning. Water surrounded me. I needed air and fast. What am I supposed to do? I was lost. The pain wasn't from the wound only. I wanted to breathe. I tried swimming but it was as if I was being pulled deeper in the water. I wanted to be able to breathe through the surface. I needed to fight for Thomas. I needed to be here with him. By the time I was struggling, thoughts kept hitting me.

  Who wanted my death? Who was ready to drown me to death? I wanted to scream for help but I couldn't. Who knew about my secret? The man who just pushed me worked for someone else. I couldn't think anymore. I didn't ave enough oxygen. My mind was fuzzy and I kept struggling to reach the top. I could see the man who pushed me towering over. He was making sure that I was going to die. I noticed that I couldn't do anything to stay on the surface. I somehow wished that the man would show some pity.

  When I realized that I wouldn't be able to reach the surface, I knew that I was going to die. I decided to stop struggling. I allowed my body to be pulled deeper. I could see the moon in the sky as slowly, my mind drifted to my little brother, my sister, Rose, and Damian. They were the people who were important to me. Dying while thinking of them seemed to be a great idea. Slowly, I gave up. The need to breathe took over. I breathed in water and welcomed death. The moon seemed to fade away and soon I couldn't see anything anymore as my eyes closed.

  Death was cold.

  Chapter 27

  His View

  “Come on, wake up!” I heard someone shout as I was being shaken.

  I could feel that my lungs were full. I felt lips on mine and the next thing I knew, someone was pressing my chest. “Please!” the man pleaded. I wanted to breathe but I couldn't. I could feel that my lungs were heavy. I was cold. When he pressed on my chest again, I felt all the water wanting to come out. After a few minutes, they did. I was coughing out water instead of air. I was finally able to breathe. I rolled on my side and ignored the pain in my ribs. “Holy fuck!” I heard someone swear. Once I was breathing properly, I opened my eyes to see a drenched Damian sitting next to me.

  “What happened?” I croaked as my throat started burning. My mind was foggy. I closed my eyes and took deep breaths to calm myself down.

  “You stopped breathing! That's what happened!” Damian snapped. I opened my eyes again to look at him. He looked so handsome with his wet hair stuck to his forehead. His piercing gray eyes were staring at me. I saw an emotion swirling in his eyes.

  Fear.

  Was he afraid of losing me?

  “We need to go,” Damian said, sounding tense. I tried pushing myself up with the help of my elbows but there was an intense pain on my arm. I stared at my arm and clenched my jaw when I saw blood oozing out of a long cut. Slowly, memories flooded back in my mind. I was attacked. Then pushed in the lake to be left to die. “How did you cut your arm?” Damian suddenly asked as he walked to me. He looked alarmed and angry.

  “Someone attacked me,” I whispered in realization. “Someone paid a man to attack me.” I lifted my head to look at Damian as the intensity of the pain increased.

  “Did you see him?” Damian asked and slowly helped me back to my feet. I held on his hand and try not to focus on the pain.

  “No,” I said as I closed my eyes. I was feeling weak. My muscles were aching. My legs buckled and the next thing I knew, I was falling.

  Damian

  Athena held onto my hand for support. She was shaking and she seemed weak. Her arms were bleeding. As I stared at her, I watched as her eyes closed and the next thing I knew, she was falling. I quickly caught her and pulled her closer to me. She has fainted because of the blood she lost. She was pale and still, she looked beautiful. Why would someone attack her? I was going to find that person and make sure that he won't lay a hand on Athena again. I picked her up bridal style and started walked to the car. She was so light. She needed to eat more. My eyes drifted to her sleeping self. I knew that I've hurt her by ending the deal. I was afraid.

  I was afraid to fall for her.

  “Damian,” she mumbled in her sleep. I felt my heartbeat increase. What was she doing to me? I was trying to avoid these feelings. Her rosy lips contrasted with her pale white skin. Her black hair was all over her face and it stuck to her skin. She was such a pure soul.

  Athena was ready to brave the outside dangerous night world to find her best friend. She would work in order to pay proper treatment for her little brother. Her courage and her determination were the main things that attracted me to her. She wouldn't let anyone tell her what to do. She makes her own decision. She was simply breathtaking.

  I shook my head. Every time I'd think of her, I'd get lost in my trail of thought. Rosemary couldn't hold a candle to her. I used to think that Rosemary was perfect. She had everything that I wanted. But once I met Athena, I saw a strong independent woman struggling to keep up with everything. She was strong. A smile formed on my face as I thought of her. I wanted to let go of her but I couldn't. I constantly felt the need to be with her, to be the support that she needed. But there's the other side of me which didn't want to get attached to someone. Did I trust Athena? That was the question that kept running in my mind.

  When I reached the car, I put her in the passenger seat. I needed to get her arm bandaged. I leaned over and took a look at her wound. It was a long gash. I noticed a scarf around Rose's neck. I quickly took it off and wrapped it around Athena's arm. I lightly kissed her cheek as I pulled away and walked back to the driver seat.

  I drove to my house. It was safer there. I dialled my doctor's number and called him over to look after Athena. I carried Rose to the guest room, then Athena to mine. I watched as she shivered slightly. Her clothes were drenched. As I walked to my wardrobe to pull a shirt for her, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I pulled it out and saw the caller ID. It was my father.

&nb
sp; “Hello,” I answered as I blocked my phone between my ear and my shoulder and proceeded in pulling out a black shirt.

  “Are you and Athena coming back?” he asked, straight away and very professionally. He was always so formal. I wasn't really complaining.

  “We're not. She is tired and I'm back home,” I said as I walked back to the bed.

  “I'll tell your mother. Good night,” my father said. I hung up. That was how it was. Our relationship was always that way. Formal.

  “Damian.” I heard Athena mumble under her breath. I walked to her and put my hand on her forehead. “I'm so cold,” she whispered as she opened her eyes slowly to look at me. At that moment, I felt weak.

  “The doctor is coming,” I told her as I slowly brushed my fingers on her cheek. “I need you to sit so that I can change your clothes,” I told her and watched as she shook her head.

  “I don't want to,” she said as she closed her eyes. She was always so stubborn. I sat next to her.

  “You're drenched and your clothes are soaked with blood,” I told her. She slowly lifted her head and looked at herself.

  “I don't want you to see me like this,” she said hesitantly. I laughed at this. Was she even serious? Was it wrong to say I want to take her damn hard just seeing her lying on my bed?

  Yes. It was.

  “Kitten, I've seen you naked,” I whispered huskily, staring at her green eyes. “I've seen all of you.” I watched as her breathing changed. Her pupils dilated with want. “Let me change you,” I continued. Without waiting for her to deny me, I helped her to sit. Slowly, I took off her dress. I took a deep breath as my eyes fell on her pale skin and her black bra and underwear which contrasted with her skin. Her pale skin made me realize that she lost a lot of blood. My hands slowly made their way to the back of her bra. I felt her tense. Why? I slowed down my movement and watched as she relaxed. “We need to take that off too,” I told her. “I have a shirt here.” I motioned to the black shirt.

  “I'll take it off myself,” she mumbled and started to move to be able to take off her bra. She was so fucking stubborn. Another reason why I wanted to fuck her. I wanted to take care of her. She wouldn't let me.