Masked Feelings

by Lechna Baram

  “I'm simply a good fuck,” I whispered loud enough for her ears alone.

  “Don't say such things,” Rose said.

  “I didn't. Those were Damian's words,” I told her, and watched as the waiter came with our waffles. Rose seemed surprised.

  “You're kidding, right?”

  I took my knife and my fork, focusing on my waffle, trying to ignore the pricking sensation I was feeling in my heart.

  “I'm not,” I said as I started cutting a piece of waffle and made sure to put Nutella on it. “I overheard Dean and Damian.” I explained before putting the delicious piece of heaven in my mouth.

  “Overheard?”

  “They were actually talking in the car on the way here.” I explained. “They thought I was sleeping.”

  Rose stared at me for a few minutes. Yes. Minutes. I simply enjoyed my waffle.

  “He doesn't mean what he said,” Rose told me, sounding unsure of her words. I chuckled and shrugged.

  “I'm not really sad about all this.” I lied. “I have been expecting it.”

  “Athena.” my best friend started, but I quickly shook my head. I didn't need anyone’s pity.

  “Rose.” I stopped her. “I'm actually really good.” I lied. “Damian and I already talked about this and we both agreed that it would only be sex, right from the start. “So he was only stating a fact,” I said. Rose huffed then started eating her waffle as well. When I felt the table vibrate, my eyes drifted to my phone which was just next to my plate. That was Damian calling. I groaned and put my knife and my fork back on the table. I answered the call quickly, knowing that he would be mad if I took time to answer.

  “Where are you?” I heard him ask as soon as the phone was next to my ear. I stared at Rose who was watching me intently.

  “Frozen Yogurt,” I said quickly.

  “I'm coming to pick you up.”

  “What?” I asked, utterly confused. “I'll be coming back with Rose,” I said. “We're walking back home. So don't come.”

  “Too late. Dean and I are already on our way,” he said, ending the call. I groaned and put my phone back on the table. He was simply impossible.

  “He's coming to pick us up. I swear to God, he has become so much more protective since I was attacked.” I sighed, running a hand over my face.

  “You guys are so confusing.” Rose pointed out. I nodded, completely agreeing with her.

  After a few minutes, Rose and I decided to go outside to wait for Dean and Damian. We stood by the parking, talking about random stuffs and soon we saw Damian's car approaching. I didn't even look at the guys and we simply got into the car. As we sat in the backseat, I noticed Damian staring at me in the rearview mirror. Then he completely turned to look at me, sizing me up and down.

  “What's wrong?” I asked.

  “Are you hurt?” Damian asked. I could notice worry swimming in his eyes. I blinked several times then shook my head.

  “I'm not. Why would I be?” I asked when Damian turned around and started driving again. He didn't answer me but each time, he would look at me in the rearview mirror. “Why would I be hurt, Damian?” I asked again.

  “Because we got a phone call,” Dean answered.

  Chapter 43

  Argument

  “What phone call?” I asked.

  “Someone called Damian and told him that you looked sexy in your black dress,” Dean explained as he turned and looked at me. His eyes skimmed my body, then he turned back to look at the road.

  “He goddamn followed you here,” Damian said through clenched jaw. I knew that he was about to explode. He seemed so furious.

  “But he didn't do anything,” I tried to reassure. Damian didn't say anything. In fact, no one said a thing. I sighed in exasperation. I was tired of this situation. “What does he want?” I mumbled to myself as I stared at the road. We could feel the tension and worry in the car. A few minutes later, we reached Rose's house and I was surprised to see a bunch of security guards.

  “Damn,” Rose whispered from next to me when Damian parked. People were going to think there were some celebrities staying at Rose's place. There were two security guards by the front door and three by the gate.

  “Damian,” I groaned. “Are you serious?” I asked, shaking my head. “Why didn't you hire only one guard?” I asked.

  “Because I need you safe,” he snapped. Dean and Rose got out of the car and they were already inside the house in the next thirty seconds. They seriously didn't want to witness the argument Damian and I were going to have.

  “You guys are here already! The creep won't approach me,” I said as I got out as well.

  Damian did the same and we soon got into a glaring contest.

  “He got into your room while there were guards around the house,” he said, running his hands through his hair, seeming tired of this argument.

  “You were not here then!” I exclaimed. “He always does something when I'm alone, so having guards does not make a difference.” Damian clenched his jaw then shrugged.

  “They do not make a difference. So what's the problem having them around?” he asked.

  “They attract people’s attention, Damian!” I snapped in exasperation as I pointed at the three guards dressed in black suits and we're wearing glasses. Definitely men in black.

  “I don't give a damn about other people.”

  “What about Patrick and Josline? Do you think they like the attention?” I asked, rolling my eyes. He was so freaking stubborn; it was impossible to argue with him.

  “I already talked to them and they said they do not mind. So shut up and get in the house already because you're the one attracting attention right now,” Damian said and walked in the house, leaving me standing next to the car. I looked around and when I realized that the neighbors were actually standing on their porch and looking at me. Didn't they have better things to do than to peek in people's business? I faked a smile and waved awkwardly at them. They smiled back and shook their heads before walking back into their house. Talk about awkwardness. Were we talking that loud. I sighed and walked back in the house, smiling at the guards.

  “She's so damn stubborn.” I heard someone say as I walked by the living room. I peeked in and saw Dean and Damian sitting on the couch. Damian was leaning his head on the couch with his eyes closed. “She doesn't get the fact that I'm doing all that to protect her.” Dean was smirking while looking at his brother. I knew they were talking about me so I rolled my eyes and walked in the living room.

  “I get the fact that you're trying to protect me,” I said.

  At the sound of my voice, Damian opened his eyes. Dean stood up and simply walked out of the room, leaving the two of us alone.

  “I feel like you're stressing yourself too much for me,” I said, trying to sound emotionless.

  “That's because I don't want anything to happen to you,” Damian said, his voice suddenly soft. I watched as he stood up and took small steps in my direction. When he was finally in front of me, he put one of his hands on my left cheek and slowly caressed it.

  “Damian, we're here to escape the stress and the routines. So please, stop taking all that so seriously. I know it's a dangerous matter. I know my life is in danger. But for a few days, can't we forget all this?” I asked, my voice really low.

  My eyes met his. I noticed the intensity of the unknown emotion swimming in his eyes.

  She's only a good fuck.

  As soon as the words echoed in my head, I took a step backward. Gone was warmth I was feeling. He looked at me, a frown forming on his face. I offered him a smile, which clearly didn't reach my eyes. He seemed to notice it as he took a step backward as well. He stood in front of me, studying me from afar. I stood there, not knowing what more to say.

  “Athena.” I turned my head to see Rose standing by the door. She stared at the two of us then took a deep breath. I wanted to thank her for saving me from his awkward and uncomfortable situation. Being with Damian was a lot more difficult. It was
my fault. I didn't even realize when I started to get involved emotionally.

  “Yes?” I answered, my eyes not leaving Damian's.

  “Mom is calling you,” Rose said, walking away.

  How can I not fall in love with Damian? Somehow, from the start, I knew I was taking a risk. The man in front of me was perfect. He was my kind of perfect. I knew that even if I had the choice, I'd be taking this risk, over and over again.

  I'd be taking the risk of falling in love with him, over and over again.

  Chapter 44

  Everything’s Good

  I wanna go to the beach today,” Rose said while lying on the couch.

  Dean sat in front of me, with his laptop on his lap. Damian was typing away on his phone. Even when they're not at work, they're still working. Dean was sulking because Alena told him she wasn't going to come.

  “I'm most probably going back home today,” Dean said, not looking at us.

  I glared in his direction and quickly shook my head.

  “No, you're not!” I said with determination. I was not going to let him go. I don't want to be alone with Damian and I don't think Damian would fancy being alone with Rose and me.

  “Try to stop me,” he said with a smirk, still not looking at me. I glared harder, until an awesome idea hit me. A grin quickly formed on my face. An evil grin.

  “Oh, I will,” I simply said and watched as he raised his head to look at me.

  “Uh-oh,” Dean mumbled when he saw me grinning. Then he groaned while throwing his head backwards. “What are you planning to do?” he asked cautiously. I shrugged. As if I was going to tell him my plan.

  “Nothing,” I said, smiling at him. You know that fake smile you give people when you don't mean your words? Yeah, that smile.

  “You're in some deep shit, Dean,” Rose said, chuckling.

  “Which means I'm not leaving today, right?” he asked before groaning.

  “Right,” Rose replied with a smug look on her face. Damian simply sat there, watching our exchange. I stood up and walked to the stairs. “Where are you going?” Rose asked.

  “To the toilet, mom,” I replied, rolling my eyes.

  “You may go, daughter,” she responded, chuckling. As I walked up the stairs, I turned around to check that I wasn't being followed. I had an evil smirk on my face as I thought about my plan. I'm such a bad person. I tiptoed to the guest room where Dean's things were.

  “Forgive me, Dean,” I mumbled to myself as I picked up his pants from his bed. I put my hand in its pockets and started looking for his car keys. Did you guess it yet? No? Well, I was going to steal his keys so he won't be able to get away.

  “What are you doing?” I turned around to see Damian standing by the door, his eyes fixed on my hand which was in Dean's pockets. He walked into the room slowly and closed the door. I was confused to as why he was getting in the room with me instead of taking me out of it. “So?” he asked again when he was standing in front of me. I could feel his breath all over my face. Oh, that minty breath. I bit my lower lip then quickly let go of it when I saw him staring at them.

  “I was stealing Dean's car keys,” I said, slowly. When I realized how childish I sounded, I groaned then playfully glared at him. “Don't look at me like that!” I exclaimed when he raised his eyebrows.

  “You're so childish sometimes,” he said, but with a smile on his face. I knew he didn't mind me stealing Dean’s keys.

  “You still fuck me though,” I mumbled with a grin. “That makes you a pedophile if I'm a child,” I continued. What the hell was wrong with me nowadays?

  “Kitten, are you okay?” I stared at Damian, tilting my head to the left and looking at his gray hypnotizing eyes trying to understand what he was trying to insinuate. I wanted to wipe away the frown he had on his face. He looked worried.

  “I'm perfectly fine,” I said with conviction. I knew he could see through me. “Why?” I asked. He took a step forward, so that our bodies were now touching.

  “Did I do something wrong?” he asked. I frowned this time.

  “No,” I simply said, but he knew I was lying. He took a deep breath and slowly pushed me backwards until my back touched the cold wall. “Damian,” I breathed out his name when he rested his forehead against mine.

  “You were listening in the car, right?” he asked, his eyes meeting mine. I took a deep breath and nodded once.

  “I wasn't sleeping.” I admitted.

  “Athen—” he started but I quickly stopped him. I offered him a smile to show him that I was okay and I didn't mind him saying I was a good fuck. Well, I do mind.

  “You don't have to explain yourself,” I said. “Yeah, I'm a good fuck and that's a nice compliment.” I added, chuckling. He grabbed my chin suddenly and moved my face with force so I was staring at him. No more fake chuckles.

  “Athena, you're not just a good fuck.” He sighed, as light shined on my forehead, making me close my eyes. I groaned when my mind started screaming not to fall for his words.

  “Then what am I to you, Damian?” I asked, chuckling humorlessly. “Don't say things you don't mean,” I said, trying to push him away. “I really don't bother myself with all that anymore. We only fuck each other and I get it. I'm not asking you for more,” I told him and smiled to show him that he didn't have to bother himself with all the sweet talk he usually forced himself to say.

  “Athena,” he started and I knew by the tone of his voice that he was going to say some shit and I would believe them. I turned my head to the other side and a smile quickly covered my face when I saw the keys. I pushed Damian away and quickly ran to get it. I showed it to Damian, smiling triumphantly.

  “Now I'm going to hide it!” I exclaimed. Damian simply stood there watching me. “Don't bother yourself with all that, Damian,” I said softly as I walked to the door. “I'm good. You're good. Our fucking is good. So everything's good,” I said before walking out of the room.

  Chapter 45

  Isaac

  “Athena!” I heard Dean yell from the guest room.

  I was sitting next to Damian on the couch and we were all listening to Patrick talking about his school life. My eyes widened when I realized that Dean might have already noticed that his keys were missing. The next thing I knew, Dean was running down the stairs and he was now standing in front of me while breathing heavily. He bent then rested his hands on his knees and he took a deep breath before standing properly. I smiled sheepishly when I saw the glare he was sending in my direction.

  “What?” I asked, faking innocence.

  “Where are my keys?” he asked, sounding exasperated. I shrugged then leaned my head on Damian's shoulder. I felt Damian tense next to me, then slowly he relaxed. He most probably thought I was going to be distant. Why should I take the negative side of a situation? No. No more. I should be happy that I'm fucking this guy next to me. I don't care what might happen next. “Athena!” when I heard Dean yell my name, I raised my head to look at him.

  “What do you want?” I asked, playing dumb. Rose chuckled as Dean looked like he was about to burst.

  “Where are my keys?!” he asked, stomping his foot like a little kid.

  “You're a married man! Not a kid!” I exclaimed, laughing at how childish he seemed.

  “Says the one who stole my goddamn keys!” he said, letting his body fall on the couch next to Rose.

  “Language.” Josline scolded.

  “Sorry,” Dean mumbled as he closed his eyes. I sighed then stood up. I walked to Dean and sat next to me.

  “Dean, I don't want you to go. It's going to get boring here. I promise you that I'll try to make Alena come. But don't go,” I said pouting. He opened his eyes to look at me. When he realized that I was sincere, he took a deep breath.

  “You have Damian and Rose to keep you company,” Dean said.

  “Not to forget my parents,” Rose said, making Patrick and Josline nod.

  “But I'll have no one to fight with,” I explained. He chuckled and shoo
k his head in disbelief. He was about to talk when we heard the doorbell. Josline and Patrick stood up and made their way to the door while we all stayed in the living room.

  “I want Alena here,” Dean said.

  “I promise, I'll make her come,” I said, grinning wickedly.

  “Can you stop grinning? It's so scary at times,” Rose complained.

  I was about to tell her to shush it but I stopped when I heard people walking in the corridor. Then Rose's parents walked in. Right behind them was a guy. A really handsome guy. He looked at all of us and when his eyes settled on me, he smiled. I smiled back.

  “Isaac!” I heard Rose shout before running to him. “How are you, buddy?”

  Isaac rolled his eyes a little bit but still a smile appeared on his face as he took Rose in a hug. Isaac had dark black hair and really pale skin. He had that bad boy aura which would make any girl swoon. His eyes were pitch black. He was wearing a leather jacket and black jeans. Yeah, he was definitely sexy as hell.

  “You talked to me last night,” Isaac said as they pulled away.

  “Talking over the phone is not that same as talking face to face.” Rose pointed out. Isaac decided not to answer and he made a really good decision because Rose was known for her strong pointless arguments. “So guys,” Rose said, turning towards is. “This is my cousin Isaac. Don't let his good looks fool you, he's a freaking nerd!” Isaac playfully slapped the back of her head.

  “Don't start,” Isaac warned. I laughed a little bit at their exchange. It was so cute. At the sound of my voice, Isaac's eyes turned towards me. “And you guys are?” he asked all of us but his eyes focused on me.

  “Well, that's Dean,” Rose started, pointing towards Dean. Isaac quickly stopped her by pushing her hands away.

  “Did I ask you or them?” he asked Rose. The latter huffed then glared at his cousin.

  “I was just trying to be polite!” Rose exclaimed.

  “You? Polite? Sure,” Isaac scoffed, sarcasm coating every word. Rose poked him in his stomach before walking back in her seat. “So you're Dean?” he asked and Dean nodded. Dean walked to him, then they shook hands. Damian stood up and made his way to Isaac. His face was completely emotionless.