Masked Feelings

by Lechna Baram

  “You're so beautiful. Good night, love” were the last words I heard before drifting into a wonderful sleep.

  The next morning, I woke up with a big smile. Damian was still sleeping next to me. He looked so peaceful when he slept. No frown, no glares. Nothing. I took a deep breath and slowly moved so that I wouldn't wake him up. Once I was out of bed, I looked around for his shirt. Where did he throw it yesterday? A grin lit up my face when I thought of yesterday. Everything was so intense.

  When I moved my head slightly to the left, I saw the black shirt lying on the ground by the bed. I quickly took it and put it on. Then I made my way to the closet. I grabbed the first thing that I saw, a simple black dress. I took my underwear and ran to the bathroom. When I got under the shower, I took off the shirt and threw it on the floor again. I opened the tap, letting water fall onto my skin. I could still feel his hands on me. I bit my lips as I thought of yesterday. Oh come on, Athena. Be quick. I quickly took a bath and got out. I pulled the towel that was hanging on the wall and dried myself up. When I was done, I wrapped the towel around my hair and walked towards the mirror. I groaned when I saw the little marks on my neck. Why was Damian so adamant about marking me over and over again?

  However, it felt good to feel like I was his. It felt good to bear his marks. I wished I was really his. I put on my clothes and stood in front of the mirror. I approached the mirror so that I could have a closer look at the marks. I dried my hair with the towel and put the towel back on the hanger. I took the concealer and my foundation so I could hide them.

  After a few minutes, I pulled away to see whether I did a good job or not. Soon, a proud grin formed on my face when I saw that my neck looked perfect. No marks. I combed my drenched hair then put the hairbrush back on the counter. I walked back in the room to find Damian still sleeping. I walked to the door and decided to prepare breakfast for everyone, given that my sister and Dean stayed last night. As I walked towards the kitchen, I could hear someone already in there. I walked in the kitchen to find my sister already preparing breakfast.

  “Good morning!” she said cheerily. I smiled and walked by her side, looking for something to help her with.

  “Good morning,” I said as I took a bowl and started whisking the eggs to do the pancakes.

  “Slept well last night?” Alena asked me. By the tone that she used, I knew she was suggesting something.

  “Pretty well, yeah,” I said, trying to ignore the suggestive tone she was using.

  “I'd say that you didn't sleep at all,” my sister said teasingly. I tried to act as if I was lost.

  “What?” I asked, faking confusion. Alena turned to look at me, with a huge smirk on her face. I knew that things were going down.

  “Damian,” she moaned. My eyes widened when I realized that she was imitating me. I groaned and let the bowl on the counter to hide my face. Why on earth was I even blushing? “Why didn't you tell me that you and Damian were a thing?” Alena asked, sounding quite offended.

  “Because we're not a thing, Alena,” I said, trying not to meet her gaze. “We simply do it once in a while.” I added, turning when I heard my sister laugh next to me.

  “And since when did you start doing that?” she asked. “After the wedding or during?” she tried to guess.

  “Before the wedding. I was quite surprised when I found out that you were getting married to his brother,” I added. “Really surprised,” I mumbled and pushed the bowl slightly to Alena once I was done.

  “That's why he's so protective over you,” Alena whispered to herself but I heard. “You guys would look perfect together,” she said out loud. I turned around to look at her and I could see sincerity burning in her eyes.

  “He's not ready for this type of relationship,” I told her, offering her a reassuring smile. I knew that I couldn't hide the sadness in my eyes.

  “Soon he will,” Alena tried to reassure me. I smiled and decided not to say anything to that. “And the make up on the neck was not necessary,” she added teasingly, making me groan again.

  “I don't know why he keeps on marking me,” I mumbled, taking some plates from the cupboard.

  “I like marking what's mine,” I quickly turned around to see Damian standing in the kitchen, with his hand in his hair and his face looking sleepy as hell. His eyes were trying hard to stay open. His voice was sleepy and hoarse as well. Why did he have to look so sexy?

  “Why are you here?” asked

  “I woke up and I didn't find you in bed,” he said and ran one of his hands on his face, trying to wake himself even more.

  “I was preparing breakfast with Alena,” I told him, smiling at how cute he was.

  “Alena is already preparing breakfast. Come back to bed,” he groaned, making me chuckle.

  “Damian, go take a shower and pack. We have to go to Rose's place in a few hours,” I told him. He took a deep breath and finally opened his eyes to look at us properly.

  “Yeah,” he mumbled then turned to look at Alena. “Good morning,” he said before turning his back to us. “And one more thing,” he said as he turned his head to look at me. “I hate the makeup,” he said motioning to my neck before walking away.

  Chapter 40

  Good Fuck

  “Guys, I won't be able to come with you.”

  I turned around to face my sister who was getting out of the house. Dean behind her, carrying her bags in his hands while I stood by Damian's car. “I'm needed at work and I'll be able to come only when I'm done,” she explained.

  “What about Dean?” Damian asked from the driver seat.

  “He'll be coming with you as I have to take the car,” Alena said as she flashed a sheepish smile in Dean's direction. Dean simply rolled his eyes and walked in our direction. My sister groaned when she realized that her husband was actually pissed at her. When I saw that Dean was going to sit in the backseat, I shook my head.

  “Sit in the front,” I told him. He was going to shake his head but I quickly pushed him away and took a seat in the back. When Damian started the engine, I turned in the direction of my sister and waved while smiling at her. She pouted and waved back. The fact that Dean was pissed at her will definitely bother all day.

  “Dean,” I called out.

  “What?” he asked.

  “Say goodbye at least.”

  “I don't want to,” he mumbled like a spoiled kid, making me huff in annoyance.

  “Stop being like a freaking kid!” I exclaimed and smacked the back of his head, making him turn around to glare at me.

  “What the hell is wrong with you?” he exclaimed as he rubbed the part where I hit him.

  “If you're going to act like a kid, I'm going to treat you like a kid,” I said with the best fake smile I could muster at that time. Damian turned to look at us and shook his head. When Dean realized that I was dead serious, he turned around and waved at Alena, still glaring in her direction. My sister must have known that I was threatening Dean as she simply laughed and walked to her car. “Good boy,” I praised Dean, making him groan.

  “You're so annoying,” Dean mumbled and I watched as Damian nodded. Wait what? Deciding that it was better not to argue with the brothers while I was on my own with them, I took my earphones and my phone out. Once the earphones were on, I lifted my head to catch Damian staring at me in the rearview mirror. I grinned as I just caught him staring at me. He quickly focused on the road while I pressed the play button.

  I closed my eyes and listened to the songs. I knew it was a long drive to Rose's house. So I leaned my head against the window and tried to sleep but the song wouldn't let me sleep. I turned off the music but left the earphones in my ears. My eyes were closed again as I tried to sleep. After last night, I was pretty tired.

  “What's happening between you two?” I heard Dean ask, and ladies and gentlemen, this is how my chance of sleep ended in a few seconds. I kept my eyes closed and pretended to be asleep. They most probably thought that I was sleeping and that I wouldn't hear anyt
hing due to the earphones.

  “There's nothing between us.” I heard Damian reply coldly. I already knew that but hearing him say it, broke my heart a little bit.

  “Are you somehow interested in her?” Dean asked and I silently prayed for him to shut his mouth. I feared Damian's answer.

  “Why on earth are you asking all these questions? It's none of your goddamn business,” Damian snapped. Dean scoffed.

  “You're fucking my wife's sister. Athena seems to be in love with you, Damian.”

  At Dean's words, I felt my heart beat faster. Were my feelings for Damian that obvious?

  “She knew what I wanted from the start,” Damian replied coldly.

  Yes. I knew.

  “So you don't give a damn about her feelings?” Dean asked, sounding pretty much angry at this point.

  “We already said no feelings involved,” Damian said in annoyance. I thought there was no deal anymore. “Listen, I don't want the same thing that happened with Rosemary repeating itself,” Damian told Dean.

  “Athena is not like Rosemary, and you already know that,” Dean said and I was close to nodding at his words.

  “That's what I thought of Rosemary at first,” Damian scoffed.

  “Athena is not like that.”

  “Yeah I know. She's a good fuck,” Damian said, and again, my heart broke. That was all I was to him: a good fuck. “She already knows that I don't want a freaking relationship.” I was crying and yelling in my head, but again I already knew about him not wanting a relationship.

  “So if she's willing to walk away from you, you'll let her?” Dean asked, sounding confused.

  “Yeah, I will,” Damian said. Not wanting to hear anymore, I discreetly put my music back on. He would happily let me go. Of course he would. There's a lot of women out there wanting to please him. So what would he lose? His time with me?

  All he wants is to fuck me. That's what I will give him. A quick fuck. That's all. No more feelings. No more kisses. Just a quick fuck. I was tired of getting hurt. But again, it was all my fault. I knew about the risks of this deal. Still, I fell in love with this man. Damian was hot and cold. At times, he would make me feel loved and other times, he would make me feel like a fuck toy. It was all over now. That was how I was going to act. Like a fuck buddy. Letting me go would be so goddamn easy for him. I wish it was the same for me.

  Chapter 41

  Drama Queen

  “Athena, wake up.”

  I moved a little bit at the sound of Damian's trying to wake me up. You bet that after hearing Damian's voice, I was not sleepy at all. I looked around and when I realized that we were in front of Rose's house, a smile crept on my face. At least we could get something positive from this drive. I quickly got out, without waiting for the guys. I didn't feel like waiting for them. Rose's parents’ house seemed so welcoming and homey. It was small, and we could feel the warmth radiating from it.

  “Dean, can you bring my stuff in?” I asked and turned to look at him.

  He offered me a smile and nodded. I quickly ran towards the door and knocked. I waited patiently. I was going to see Rose's parents after so long. They have always been a parental figure for me. I knew that Damian was behind me. I could feel his presence. When the door opened, I saw the chubby blond woman. Rose's mom, Josline stood there, her glasses over her nose and her peeking at me, made me realize how much I've missed her.

  “Oh my God,” Josline sobbed as soon as she realized I was standing in front of her. She was always so emotional. I chuckled and wrapped my arms around her.

  “I've missed you so much,” I said as I tightened my arms around him.

  “Oh sweetheart! I missed you too! Rose is waiting for you,” she said and then moved slightly to look at the hot guy standing behind me. “And you must be Damian, Athena's boyfriend,” Josline said. I wanted to flush my head down the toilet. Rose must have told that to her mother.

  “Yes. Nice to meet you.” I was surprised when I heard Damian answer. What the actual hell?

  “He's not my boyfriend, Josline,” I said, trying to sound funny so that Damian wouldn't find my behavior strange. He would know that I heard him in the car and I didn't want that. “He's the brother of my sister's husband.”

  “And I'm the brother in law,” Dean exclaimed happily from behind me. “Unfortunately, my wife decided that her job was more important than me and she ditched us,” Dean continued in the same cheery voice. I could feel that he actually meant those words. I'll have to talk to my sister. It is true that Alena gives too much importance to her work.

  “Come on, walk in,” Josline said and motioned for us to walk inside. I did just that and without losing time, I walked to Rose's room. I opened the door and found her lying on her bed with her earphones on. I walked to her and pulled the earphones off.

  “You look like those heartbroken teenagers.” I pointed out. When she realized that it was me, she quickly stood up and jumped in my arms.

  “I missed you.”

  “We haven't seen each other for only a few days.”

  “The longest days of my life.” She sighed dramatically, letting her body fall on her bed with her hands on her heart.

  “Drama Queen,” I mumbled. She lifted her head and smirked. She seemed to be much better than the last time I saw her. She seemed to be her usual self.

  “Where is Damian?” Rose asked.

  “He's most probably sampling one of Josline’s cookies with Dean,” I told her.

  “How is it going with him?” Rose asked. I didn't know what to say so I simply shrugged.

  “Sex. Only sex. Nothing more, Rose.” I was trying to convince myself. I had to. By the look on her face, I knew she had figured out that something was wrong. “What about you and Jace?” I asked. She shrugged as well and stood up. She walked to her couch and picked up her handbag.

  “Let's go out a little bit so that we can actually talk,” Rose proposed. I quickly agreed and we made our way to the kitchen where we could hear Dean’s and Josline’s voices. When we walked in, Damian's eyes met mine. He was sitting by the counter with his phone in his hands. I offered him a small smile then turned to look at Rose who was greeting Dean. Then she walked to Damian. Damian didn't even look her way when she greeted him. His eyes were glued on me. The frown on his face was annoying me.

  “Isn't that my town princess?” I heard someone exclaim from behind me. There was only one person who calls me town princess and that was Patrick, Rose's dad. I turned around and ran into his arms. “How are you, sweetheart?” he asked as he pulled away and looked at me. His hair was turning gray and he seemed even older.

  “I'm so much better after meeting you.” I admitted.

  “Athena and I are going out for an hour or two,” Rose announced.

  “Where are you going?” Patrick asked as he walked up to his wife.

  “For a walk or we're going to drink milkshakes,” Rose said as she walked towards me.

  “You're not going out,” Damian said from his seat. I knew he was talking to me, so I decided to ignore him and Rose and I walked to the door. “Athena!” Damian called. I heard his chair move. I stopped walking and groaned. I turned around to look at him approaching me.

  “What do you want?” I asked, glaring at him.

  “You're not going out,” he said again, making sure I heard every one of his words.

  “And who's going to stop me?” I dared ask, bringing my face closer to his, defying him. The next thing I knew, I was being carried back to the kitchen. The fucker had thrown me over his shoulder and now I had a perfect view of his amazing ass.

  Things were so going down.

  Chapter 42

  Waffle and Talk

  “So tell me.” Rose started after we ordered two Nutella waffles.

  We were currently in a frozen yogurt shop. Rose was sitting across me, her arms crossed over her chest and one leg over the other, trying to look professional. I scoffed and rolled my eyes.

  “You, tell me,” I
said, leaning on the chair to make myself comfortable. “What's up with you and Jace?” I asked.

  She took a deep breath, then stared at the ceiling for a few seconds before looking back at me.

  “I'm actually asking myself that same question, Athena.”

  I looked around and then turned to glare at Rose because there were children around.

  “Did you talk to him?” I asked. She nodded.

  “Just after I finished talking to you, I called him.”

  “And?” I urged, wanting to know whether things were going to be fine or not.

  “And he wants me to stop working,” Rose said.

  “Why don't you? Find another job. I can ask Dean to look for a job for you.” I stared at my best friend. I knew that it was starting to annoy her.

  “Why should I take orders from him?” Rose asked, now frowning at me. “Why should I listen to the person who was not worried when he left me in the park at night?” she asked, anger started radiating from her. “After that, how can I trust him again? How can I be sure that he's not going to leave the next time I don't agree with him?”

  Good point. I took a deep breath, mentally preparing the things that I would say. I seriously didn't know what to say. I lowered my head on the table and groaned.

  “Exactly,” Rose said as she leaned on her chair, trying to calm herself down. “I'll talk or forgive him when and if I want to,” Rose added. “Stop worrying yourself about us.”

  “I'm not worried,” I mumbled as I lifted my head to look at her.

  “You are. You always are.”

  “I'm not!” I exclaimed.

  She rolled her eyes and raised her hands in surrender, making me huff.

  “Now tell me about you and Damian.”

  “There's nothing to tell.”

  “How is it nothing? He freaking brought you here and came along because he was worried. You're living in his house. You're working with him. You're fucking him.” Rose started to point out and I quickly motioned for her to shut up.