Drifting into Darkness

by La Rocca, J. M.

  A figure walked up to me, which could only be Landon since Devon was puking his guts out. “Are you all right?” he asked me softly.

  I looked up at his shadowed face. Was I all right? No, not really. I was shaking from the experience. I still felt dizzy, and I wanted to get home. But I was stuck in an unfamiliar place with a bunch of people I didn’t know. “No, I’m not,” I started as tears fell down my cheeks.

  “Fuck,” he mumbled under his breath, running his hand through his hair. “Come on then. I’ll take you home. Lisa can pick you up tomorrow so you can get your car,” he suggested.

  I didn’t have the energy to argue, so I followed behind him. He walked to his black truck and opened the passenger’s side door for me. “Uh, how am I supposed to get up there? What is the reason for having your truck jacked up so high with big-ass tires?” I squealed as he lifted me up without any effort at all and set me on the seat. “Excuse you,” I snapped, as he closed the door without a word.

  He opened his side, hopped in, and started the engine. We sat there for a moment before he turned to me and pointed to the glove compartment. “There are some napkins in there if you need one.”

  Sniffing, I opened it up and retrieved one to wipe my face. I couldn’t believe what had happened. I shook my head and held back the fresh tears that wanted to escape at the thought of what could have happened.

  “Can I get your address?” he asked as he messed with his GPS.

  I told him my address and he programmed it in. “I could have just given you directions as we went.”

  “You could have, but if you fall asleep, I won’t know where to go,” he shot back as he pulled out onto the main road.

  He had a point, I thought as I wiped at my nose. “Wait a minute,” I said turning toward him in my seat. “Are you all right to drive?” I looked over his face that was lit up from the dashboard lights. I don’t remember seeing him have a drink in his hand at any time during the night when I was looking in his direction. But that didn’t mean anything.

  “Yes. I don’t drink, so you’ve got nothing to worry about.”

  “You don’t drink?” I asked, unbelievingly. “You throw all these parties and you don’t even drink.”

  He turned to look at me, “Is that so hard to believe? You can actually go to a party and not drink, you know. It’s not a requirement.” Yeah, if only his words of wisdom were spoken earlier I might not have had that last bottle of the red stuff.

  “Do you realize that is the longest sentence you’ve spoke to me?” I was leaning with my back against the door and my head against the seat, watching him as he drove. He glanced at me with his eyebrows pinched, not saying a word. “How did you know where I was?” It was like he came flying out of nowhere like a freaking superhero.

  He laughed, and it was deep, and throaty and sexy. Ugh, stop it.

  “I’m not a superhero,” he chuckled.

  “Shit!” I raised my hand up to my head. “Did I just say that out loud?” I’m officially past the point of any of my filters working.

  He looked at me again with a smile and then focused back on the road. “Yeah, you did. And I only knew where you were because I was watching Devon all night. He’s like a brother to me; been friends with Derek since we were little. But he can’t hold his liquor. He doesn’t usually drink whiskey, but when he does, it’s like he loses all focus and does stupid shit. He probably won’t even remember any of it tomorrow,” he said as he turned to look at me with remorse. “I’m sorry,” he sighed. “I should have confronted him when I thought he had too many.”

  “There is no reason for you to be sorry. He’s not your responsibility. He should have known better than to drink it if he knows he can’t handle it.”

  We both went quiet and I could hear the radio softly playing country music. The lull of the tires was making my eyes droopy and I did my best to keep them open, so I kept my eyes on his face as he drove. “How old are you?”

  He looked at me with a smirk. “I just turned twenty-four. How old are you?”

  “Twenty, but I’ll be twenty-one in a few months.”

  Silence again.

  He was making it difficult to hold a conversation and I needed to talk or I’d definitely fall asleep. So I continued to ask questions, not caring that I was having a bout of verbal diarrhea. “Is there a reason you don’t like me?” I wasn’t even thinking before the words left my lips. He looked at me and frowned. “I was just wondering because I’ve always heard that southern boys were so nice and all, but you…you are giving the good ol’ boy slogan a bad name.” I diverted my eyes and started picking at my skirt. “I know I’m no ray of sunshine to be around, but you don’t even know me. I’ve given you no reason to be so rude.”

  I heard him sigh and I looked up to see him looking at me with a look of guilt on his face. He focused back on the road and started tapping his thumb on the steering wheel. “You’re right,” he finally said. “I’m sorry. There was no reason for me to be so rude to you. I’ve had a lot going on and I took it out on you. It’s a horrible excuse, I know, but I am sorry.”

  I’m not very good at holding grudges, so I knew I’d let it go. “I accept your apology.” I smiled and he turned and smiled back at me.

  I sat up in the seat as he made the turn down my road. Stretching my arms over my head, I let out a loud yawn and knew that as soon as I lay down in bed, I’d be out for the night. “Well, it was nice chatting with you,” I said as he pulled into my driveway, “but I have a date with my bed.”

  I pushed the door open and got out of the truck, happy to finally be home. I turned to say goodbye and thank him for the ride, but he had gotten out of the truck as well and was waiting for me in the front of it. I frowned and closed the door, walking slowly toward him so I wouldn’t trip over my own feet. It was hard enough trying to keep my head upright. I didn’t need to trip and fall on my face. “What are you doing?”

  He smirked at me. “I’m walking you to your door. I’d hate to get you home safe, only to have to fall down the steps when you got here.”

  He had a point, I thought as I snorted and slapped him in the chest. “Well, I guess ya didn’t fail charm school after all,” I drawled in a horrible southern accent, which caused him to laugh. Oh, God, I really need to go inside and away from him before I embarrass myself even more.

  I walked toward the stairs with Landon following behind me. As soon as I took the first step, I stumbled and fell forward, but quickly grabbed onto the railing before I sustained any real damage. Jesus, I don’t think I’ve ever been this drunk before. Note to self: never drink Lisa’s drink concoctions again. Landon’s hands were on me as soon as I fell and he hauled me up, wrapping his arm around my waist.

  “See, now aren’t you glad I was here?” he stated sarcastically.

  I looked up at him and rolled my eyes. “Yes, Landon, you are now my knight in shining armor,” I giggled.

  He chuckled and held me close, helping me up the rest of the stairs. I couldn’t help but notice how nice he smelled being nestled against his side either. Somewhere in my drunken haze, I knew that under normal circumstances I wouldn’t smell him up, but since this wasn’t normal circumstances, I smelled him without shame. I was sure he noticed too since I literally stuck my nose on his shirt and took a big whiff, causing him to laugh softly.

  As we got to the last step, I pulled away from his hold and dug my keys out of my small satchel. “Thanks for giving me a ride and helping me up the stairs,” I said as I opened up my door. I stepped inside and turned to face him, giving him a drunken smile that I’m sure looked anything but. “I’ll see you on Monday,” I blurted before I closed the door and locked it.

  I took my satchel off and tossed it on the couch before heading to the kitchen for a bottle of water and some aspirin. Then I dove head first into my bed, knowing tomorrow I’d have one hell of a hangover.

  Nine

  Almost a month had gone by since the night Landon drove me home. The events of t
hat night hit me pretty hard the next day, but it didn’t hold me down for long. Nothing had actually happened, which I was thankful for, so I brushed it off and tried to move past it. But somehow word got around that Devon tried to attack me when I was trying to leave, making forgetting it all very hard.

  Lisa had wrapped me in a big bear hug when she came to pick me up to get my car the next day, asking me all about what happened and apologizing profusely for not walking with me herself. Then on Monday morning Derek apologized for his best friend’s behavior. I really did appreciate the sincerity and their kindness, but I really wanted an apology from Devon.

  I knew it would be a while before I got it though, because I hadn’t been to a party since that night. My routine was the same every week; go to work then straight home. I found myself spending a lot more time with my mom, which we hadn’t done in a while. It was nice to have that girl time and build back what we lost all those years ago when I started dating Jason. When Jason and I were together, I never made time for her. I never thought about how much it would hurt her, pushing her out of my life, but I could see that it did.

  Work went by quickly every day. The heat didn’t get to me as much as it did that first week and I was starting to wake up before my alarm. It was nothing to be excited over, but at least I wasn’t dragging my feet in the morning any longer.

  Lisa and I worked really well together and we chatted every day. We talked about our likes, dislikes, what TV shows we watched, what our favorite movies were and everything and anything else we could think of. It turned out that we had a lot in common. I didn’t know very many people who liked to watch documentaries on the universe and planets. Erin didn’t understand my fascination with it, but Lisa and I got in a very heated discussion about why we needed to start exploring the oceans more than outer space. It was actually quite funny.

  I also learned that when she was younger and started hanging out with the Johnson boys, she actually had a huge crush on Landon and not Derek. She said it was because he was so much nicer. Derek used to tease her all the time and he’d call her names. It wasn’t until seventh grade, when she started developing, that Derek finally took notice. I laughed when she told me because it was just like a guy to not notice what was in front of his face.

  Working in the stables with Landon wasn’t bad either. Even though I’d had so much happen to me in the last six months, I wasn’t blind to the fact that I was working with a very delicious guy. It could have been one of the reasons it wasn’t hard for me to get out of bed in the mornings, because I actually liked going to work to see his deliciousness. I wasn’t sure if it was our conversation in his truck that night or if something else had happened, but he was pleasant to be around, more than pleasant actually. It was scary to me, to like someone again. I didn’t even know him, but he made me feel like I’d like to. It could be because we were around each other every day. I didn’t know, but I think he felt the same way. There were times I caught him checking me out and other times that he flirted.

  All of it was new to me. After being in a relationship for so long with Jason, flirting didn’t seem to be necessary. So, when Landon would casually do it, I’d be tongue tied to the point where I felt stupid. You see it all the time in those girly movies where the hot guy talks to the unexpected girl and she stands there with her mouth open with gibberish coming out. That was me. It was uncharted territory or at least it had been for a very long time.

  “So, are you and your mom doing anything this weekend?” Lisa asked as she tied the last bag of corn.

  It was Friday afternoon and we were just finishing up for the day. Lisa had asked me earlier in the week if I wanted to hang out. I had told her that I was probably going to be doing something with my mom, which was a total brush off. I knew my mom was going to be busy this weekend, but I didn’t want to make any set plans. I’d been doing something with my mom every weekend and I honestly just wanted to stay in and relax. “Actually, no.” I picked up my bag stand and placed it against the wall. “My mom is meeting with some women from the hospital my dad works at so I’ll be on my own. I’ll probably stay in and read.”

  Lisa rolled her eyes. “Oh, my God, Sadie. That’s so lame. You should come out with all of us tonight. We’re gonna go bowling. It’ll be so much fun.” She hopped and skipped as we made our way to the office. “Pwetty Pwease,” she pouted. “I’m always the only girl.”

  I smiled at her playfulness. “Who is all of us?” I asked, as I squinted from the sun to look over at her.

  “Well, it’s gonna be me, Derek, Joe, Devon, Tate, and Aaron.” She looked at me for a brief moment, and then looked back at the dirt as we walked.

  I didn’t say anything. As soon as she said the name Devon, she had to have known my answer would be no. It had been almost a month since that night, but I would feel extremely awkward, even if I did give him a chance to apologize to me. “I’ll think about it,” I finally said as we walked up the office stairs.

  She stopped at the door with her hand on the knob and looked at me. “He really wants to tell you he’s sorry in person, ya know,” she sighed. “I know sorry probably isn’t even good enough, but I haven’t even seen him drink more than two beers since that night. I know he feels horrible about it and I know it’s your choice, but I’d really like us all to hang out,” she said in an almost whiny voice.

  I diverted my eyes and stared at my boots, pursing my lips. I wanted us to hang out too. With working every day and then hanging out with my mom, I hadn’t had much time to make any other friends. I knew once school started, it would be different, but my options of getting out of the house to have fun were slim.

  I looked up and gave her a half smile. “You’re right. I need to let him finally apologize, but I don’t know if I’m in the mood to even deal with it tonight. How about I go home, relax for a little bit, and text you and let you know. What time did you plan on going?”

  She gave me a megawatt smile. “Nine. We’re meetin’ there at nine, but we might grab something to eat at the Family Diner first if ya want to meet us there.” She opened the door to the office and we both walked in. The cool air was a welcome reprieve but the smell that invaded my nose wasn’t. They really needed to invest in some air fresheners.

  “I’ll text you and let you know for sure,” I repeated.

  Nan wasn’t in her office as we walked in to sign the sheet.

  “Okay, then I’ll just assume ya aren’t comin’ if I don’t hear from ya by eight then. Does that sound good?”

  I gave her a small nod. “Yup.” I signed out for the day and we headed back outside.

  “I’m heading over to the house to hang out with Mrs. Johnson until Derek is done. I hope to hear from ya later,” she urged with a smile.

  “All right, I’ll talk to you later,” I said as I turned and walked toward my car. I think she waited to ask me to go out on purpose. They’d been going to the track every weekend from what I’d heard and then hanging out after, which meant partying. She knew I wouldn’t come, so that was probably why she never asked.

  I’d try to make an effort to go tonight, but that really depended on my body. I’d lost weight since working on the farm and gained some muscle definition, but the aches and pains still plagued me every day. I needed a back massage in the worst way.

  Maybe I’ll try to find a massage therapist and make an appointment for Saturday, I thought as I made my way home.

  I was about a mile away from the main cross section when I saw a white car on the side of the road, going the other direction. The hood was up and a guy was leaning over the engine. I felt bad that the guy was broke down on the side of the road in this heat, but there was no way I was stopping. It was in the middle of the day, but we were out in the boonies, as Lisa liked to call it, and there was no telling what could happen.

  As I passed the car, the guy moved away from the front of the car and walked toward the driver’s side door. I looked in my rear view mirror and pressed on the break.

 
I saw Landon opening his door and reaching in for something. I shifted my car in reverse. I had no idea what I was doing, but I didn’t want to be rude and just leave him out here stranded if something was wrong with his car.

  I veered off to the side of the road and stepped out of the car. He looked up at me as I made my way over to him. I didn’t have to worry about traffic because the road was never busy.

  “Hey,” I said as I approached him with my hands in my pockets. I looked over the two-door car and then met Landon’s gaze. Heat rushed to my cheeks as I stood there. “I was just passing by, on my way home, and saw you,” I pointed to the car. “Do you need a ride or something?” I asked, not knowing what else to say.

  I took a moment to look him over. He was wearing khaki cargo shorts, a dark blue t-shirt, and grease. There were black smudges and stains all over his clothes and his hands were smeared in black too.

  He sighed in frustration, looking back at his engine. “Actually, I just might, yes,” he looked back at me with a small smile.

  “What’s wrong with it?” I asked, trying to make conversation.

  He reached in the engine and grabbed at something. “The intercooler pipe blew off the turbo.”

  “The whata blew off the whata?” I asked laughing.

  He looked at me with a genuine smile. “You see that right there.” He turned the flashlight on and lit up the area he was talking about. I could clearly see something was broken, but I had no idea what I was looking at.

  I nodded.

  “This right here,” he pointed, “is the turbo. That pipe, that’s not attached, the air runs through it to the propeller blades inside the turbo housing. The car can’t run without it. Therein lies the problem.” He stood up straight, folding his arms over his chest.

  “Ah,” I said still looking over the engine. “I can see your predicament. How hard is something like that to fix?” I looked up and wiped off the sweat running down the side of my face.

  “Not hard at all, but I don’t have a clamp or my tools. Are you sure about that ride?” he asked with a smile. “I’m really dirty.” He held his arms out so I could see all of him. He had grease on the side of his face with his five o’clock shadow. All it did was bring out his bright blue eyes. He was such a beautiful man.