Drifting into Darkness

by La Rocca, J. M.

  A beautiful man with a beautiful body, I thought, as I looked him over some more.

  It was then I noticed the small tattoo on the inside of his left wrist. I couldn’t see it clearly since it was covered in black smudge, but it looked like a flower. I’d never noticed it before because he always wore gloves on the farm.

  “Sadie?” I blinked up at a smiling face. “Are you checking me out?” he asked blatantly.

  My cheek flushed. “What?” I shrieked. “Gah! No,” I said diverting my eyes. Way to be subtle, Sadie. “I was just…looking at all the black stuff,” I stated, pointing all over his clothes. “You are very dirty. I’m not sure I want you in my car.” I turned and laughed to myself as I walked across the street, but not before I saw that cocky smirk leave his face.

  “I was just kidding,” he yelled to me.

  I kept walking and bit my lip. As I got to my door, I turned to him with a smile. “I was too. Come on,” I waved to him. “Let’s get in the car. It’s hotter than hell out here.”

  He laughed, shaking his head, as he pulled the hood to his car down. He jogged to the passenger’s side door and got in.

  I started the car and put the A/C on full blast. I had finally gotten the thing fixed a week ago. It was heaven. Like being in my own icebox.

  “Are you sure you don’t mind?” he asked again.

  I looked down the road to make sure no cars were coming so I could make a U-turn to head back toward the farm. Turning, I looked at him and smiled. I never realized how big he was. I knew he was tall, but he took up all the space in the front. He was so close I could smell his cologne and sweat.

  It wasn’t a displeasing smell either.

  “It’s fine, really. I don’t have any plans anyway.” I looked straight ahead as I drove. It would only take about ten minutes before we were back at the farm, but being in an enclosed space with him was causing a slew of butterflies in my stomach. And even though I was being blasted by Artic air from my vents, I could still feel the heat in my ears. Every time I was either flushed or embarrassed, my ears turned beet red. Why the butterflies? I had no idea. We found ourselves alone every day in the stables, but this was different. It had nothing to do with work.

  I turned my head slowly to get a look at him. He was looking straight ahead, but my movement must have caught his eye because he looked at me and smiled. I smiled back and bit my lip. I felt like a teenage girl. I looked back at the road and rolled my eyes at myself.

  We were too quiet. I needed to break the awkward silence. “What kind of car is that? I don’t think I’ve ever seen one like it before.”

  “It’s a 93 RX7. So you probably wouldn’t see it a lot now since it’s an older car. The body style is completely different.”

  “Is that the car you use to race?” I looked at him as I asked.

  A smile spread across his face. “Yeah,” he answered. “I just installed a new turbo for the race next week and was taking it for a test run. I’m hoping to get my time down.”

  “Cool,” I nodded. I didn’t have anything else to say to that. It wasn’t like I had any idea what he was talking about.

  “You have no idea what I’m talking about do you?”

  I shook my head and laughed. “Nope.”

  I turned down the road to the farm. “Keep going past the office entrance and turn into the driveway to the house. Then keep going until you see the garage.”

  I pulled up to the garage and put the car in park. He opened the door to get out, but I didn’t know if he wanted me to stay or not. “Do you want me to stay and give you a ride back?”

  He turned, “Sure, if you don’t mind spending some time with me,” he smiled. “I’ll only be a minute. I just have to grab a clamp and my tools.” He left the car and started jogging toward the garage.

  I smiled to myself. I hadn’t minded spending time with him for a couple of weeks. So, no, I wouldn’t mind at all. Everything about him was a mystery to me. There were many layers I wanted to pull back. He intrigued me that much.

  I looked down at my hands in my lap and looked at my nails. I’ve been wearing gloves since my second week on the farm, but I still managed to get dirt under every nail.

  Then it hit me. “Shit.” I pulled the visor down and looked in the mirror. Holy hell, I looked like a drowned rat with frizzy hair. I let out a sigh and held my head in my hands. I had sweat streaks going down my face. And even though he was used to seeing me like this, it wasn’t ideal, and very unattractive. Should it matter? No, but I still wanted to look decent. Oh, well, there was nothing I could do about it now.

  I looked up to see Landon walking back to the car. He had a toolbox in hand and a baseball hat on his head. I looked on with my mouth hanging open because he looked hotter than hot with his sweaty shirt sticking to him like a second skin and his head tilted down with a cap on. If I didn’t have the A/C on, I’d probably be fanning myself.

  He opened the door to the car and slid into the seat. “All right, I’m sure I’ve got everything.”

  I reversed all the way down the driveway and made our way back on the road. We were quiet the whole way, which wasn’t as awkward as I thought it would be. It was a comfortable silence.

  I didn’t feel like I had to talk, but I did glance at him a couple of times and I was rewarded with a smile. Just the way he looked at me from under the rim of his hat had my cheeks flushed again. I was sure he didn’t mean to look at me that way, like he wanted to ravage my body. At least, that’s what I thought when I got that look. He’d done it a couple of times in the past and I reacted the same way every time.

  I didn’t know what had come over me lately. It was like my hormones were on speed. I needed a girl chat. Hopefully, Erin would have time to talk later.

  I pulled off the road, in the same spot as before and put the car in park. “Well,” I turned to face Landon, “I’m glad I was driving by when I did. Even though I’m sure you would have eventually gotten a ride.”

  “Yeah, I’m glad you were too.” He opened the door, but turned to me before he got out. “I’m going to take the car for another run later. Would you like to go with me? See what all the fuss is about.” He gave me a sly grin and that meaning could be meant for so many things.

  I giggled like a dork. Seriously, I needed help. I’d slap myself in the head if he wasn’t sitting right there.

  Did I want to go with him? I did want to get to know him better. He was easy to be around.

  Wait. Was he asking me out on a date? I thought he didn’t date. Or maybe I was reading too much into it. He was just asking me to go with him on a car ride. But that seemed like a date to me.

  “Hello, Sadie?”

  My eyes snapped up to Landon’s. Shit. I cleared my throat. “Sure, that’d be great. Do you want me to meet you back here, I mean, at the farm?”

  He smiled brightly, “Nah, I’ll come by and pick you up. How about seven? Is that okay?”

  “Uh, sure,” I smiled.

  “Okay, I’ll see you then.” He got out of the car and walked across the street.

  I sat there and watched him. What the hell was that?

  Landon was taking me for a ride. Maybe he took girls for a ride all the time. Then I laughed out loud. “Of course he takes girls for a ride. Probably the ride of their lives.” I sighed at my mind being in the gutter. It hadn’t been there in a while so maybe that was a good thing.

  I slowly pulled out onto the road and he waved to me with a smile as I drove off. It was then I remembered Lisa and bowling. Maybe I’d be back before then. I’d just have to wait and see.

  Ten

  I called Erin as soon as I walked in the door. She answered after the second ring.

  “Hey, girl,” she answered.

  “Hey, what are you doing? Are you busy?” I lay down on the couch and flung my arm over my head, exhausted from the day as usual.

  “Nope, I don’t go into work until five. What’s up?” she asked as I heard something bang.

  “Wha
t are you doing?”

  She laughed, “Sorry, I was going through my closet. Some of my shoe boxes fell.”

  “Seriously, Erin. You need to get rid of all those shoe boxes. One day they will all fall on you and we won’t see you for a week,” I joked. She had an addiction with buying shoes and nowhere to store all of them. She still lived with her parents while she went to school and they only had a three-bedroom house. Her closet was packed full of shoe boxes. Why she had her shoes stored like that was beyond me. She even put pictures on the front of the boxes, which I guess was a smart idea since she had so many.

  “Hush, you’re just jealous,” she mocked.

  “Ha, jealous? No way. I have around twenty pairs of shoes. I don’t need over a hundred like you. How could you possibly wear them all?”

  “Shhh, they’ll hear you,” she whispered. “My little precious.” I could just see her stroking her shoes.

  I shook my head at how silly she was. “I miss you, you know that?”

  “I know, babe. I really want to come down there for a visit before the semester starts, but we’ll have to see.”

  I smiled to myself. I really hoped she’d be able to come down. “So, I called you for a reason.”

  “Yeah?”

  “You know that guy I was telling you about?”

  “Landon? Too good for a relationship, sleeps around with blonde chicks, sexy farmer guy?”

  “Yes,” I laughed. “That’d be him.”

  “Okay, spill the beans, Sadie,” she insisted.

  I told her everything that happened after I left work and waited for a reply.

  “Why do you sound all nervous about it?”

  “I don’t,” I said defensively, and then I sighed. “Okay, maybe I do, just a little. I’m not sure what to think of it. Do you think he was asking me on a date? Because according to everyone, he doesn’t date. And this guy is Hottie McHotster with a chocolate shake on the side.”

  “Damn, that hot?”

  “Yes,” I groaned. “I feel so out of my element. I haven’t done this kind of thing in so long. I feel like if this were a date, it would be my first one, ever. You know how Jason and I started going out. It was never about dating. I couldn’t even tell you when our first official date was. We were young and stupid. Going out with a group of friends was considered dating back then. This would be just him and me. In a car. Alone.” I could already feel the nervousness in my stomach.

  “Sadie,” she said, using her motherly voice, “why do you have to make such a big deal about it? You said yourself that he doesn’t do relationships. Maybe he thinks of you as a friend. Just go hang out and have fun. And who cares if it’s a date. You deserve it. Live your life and do something crazy. Plus, you’re not a shy person. Stop acting like one. It’s annoying,” she said matter-of-factly.

  I laughed out loud. “See, this is why I wanted to call you. You always help me make sense of things.”

  Everything she said was right. I don’t need to make such a big deal about it and I knew it. I just wanted reassurance.

  “While you have me on the phone, I have some news of my own,” she said, interrupting my thoughts.

  “And what news is this?” I asked curiously.

  “Trent and I are going out,” she blurted.

  “Really! Wow, that’s great. When did this happen?” I asked excitedly.

  Trent was a guy she worked with at Al’s ice cream shop in Chicago. It was family owned and she’d been working there for a really long time. So long, I didn’t even remember how old she was when she started. He, Trent, was the owner’s son. She’d had a thing for him since…forever.

  She giggled. A serious, girly giggle. Oh, damn, she’s got it bad.

  “Well we’ve been talking for a while. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to make a big deal about it. But then a month ago, he came into the shop one night when I was closing. He said he had to get something from his dad’s office, but he stayed and we talked for like, two hours. Then he asked me out on a date.”

  “I’m so excited for you, Erin,” I gushed. “I seriously have a huge grin on my face.”

  “Thanks. Anyway, I’ve got to go. I’ll try to call you tomorrow. I need to jump in the shower. I have to run some errands before I go into work tonight.”

  “Okay, thanks for chatting with me.”

  “You bet. Just go with the flow. Isn’t that what you always tell me?”

  I laughed. “Yeah, it is.”

  “Okay, then. Just have fun. You can tell me all about it tomorrow. Talk to you later.”

  “Bye.” I sighed as I hung up the phone. I really missed her being a few miles away.

  I should probably get up and take a shower, but taking a nap sounded so much better.

  ~*~

  I woke up with the pain in my bladder alerting me that if I didn’t get up and pee soon, it would be all over the couch.

  After taking care of business, I groggily turned the shower on. I needed to get presentable. It was five thirty and I still had no idea what I wanted to wear. We were only going for a ride in his car, but I wanted to look nice.

  I decided to dress in white jean shorts and a blue shirt that draped in the front. I dried my hair and flat ironed it, making sure to put a hair tie around my wrist just in case he drove with the windows down. Then, after putting on a little bit of makeup, I was ready to go.

  I took a seat on the couch to wait for him and decided to check my phone. I missed a text from my mom while I was getting ready.

  Mom: Your dad is taking me out to dinner. You’ll have to fend for yourself.

  Me: That’s fine. I’m going out for a little bit too. Might go bowling with Lisa.

  Mom: Ok, be careful. See you tomorrow.

  Me: K.

  A knock at the door caught me by surprise. I looked at the clock on my phone. It was six forty-seven. Landon was early.

  Nervous butterflies swarmed in my stomach. I didn’t know why I was so nervous.

  Get it together. It’s just a car ride.

  Standing up from the couch, I smoothed my shirt down and walked to the door. I took a deep breath and opened it.

  A smile lifted to his lips as soon as he saw me. I swear my heart skipped a beat. His smile lit up his entire face. I could see why all the girls were tripping over their own feet when he was around.

  He stood there in jeans and a light pink polo. Not a lot of men could pull off a pink shirt, but Landon, with his tanned skin, looked sexy as hell. Especially with his disheveled hair and bright blue eyes. He could definitely be a southern boy model.

  “Hey,” he said, continuing to smile at me. I was sure he noticed me again, checking him out. At this point, I didn’t care. I’d probably be staring at him the rest of the night so he’d better get used to it.

  “Hey,” I smiled back. “Give me just a second. I need to get my purse.” I left my door open as an invitation for him to come in while I went looking for it. I usually left it in the living room, but I brought it to my room after my shower to get some makeup out of it.

  I picked it up off the floor on the side of my bed and turned to exit the room and stopped short when I saw Landon leaning against the doorframe.

  “This is a nice place you have here,” he stated as he looked around my messy room.

  I looked toward his line of sight and noticed some lacy underwear hanging out of my drawer. I quickly walked to my dresser and shoved them in the drawer and closed it, then made my way toward him. He had a smirk on his face and he moved away from the door so we both could leave.

  “Yeah, I like having my own space. I think it’s the one thing that made moving worthwhile. Having my privacy.”

  “Privacy? Yeah, I need some of that,” he joked as we walked out to the stairs.

  I laughed at his statement. He was twenty-four and he still lived at home. “Do you plan on moving out of your parents’ house?” I loved my parents, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to live with them for as long as he had. That�
��s why I loved this arrangement so much. At least I could still live with them, but not actually live with them.

  He sighed as we got into his car. “I actually don’t know what I’m going to do. I thought about moving out so many times. It’s just so much easier to stay for now.” He pulled out from my driveway and drove down the road. “I plan on building a house in a couple of years, so it seems smarter to stay and save than to spend money on rent.” He looked at me and smiled.

  “Yeah, that sounds smart.”

  “We’ll see how it all works out.”

  I looked out the side window as he turned down some unfamiliar roads. I had no idea where he was taking me. I turned and looked at him to ask. “Where exactly are you taking me?”

  He looked at me with a smirk. “Just some back roads I do my test runs on. Don’t worry. I promise, it’s safe.”

  “Aren’t you worried about cops? I mean, I know you’ll be going over the speed limit.”

  He laughed. “Nah, I’m not worried. This road is hardly ever used. Farmers mainly use it for driving their equipment to and from the crops.”

  “Oh.” I looked out the window again as we drove along, while biting my bottom lip. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous about him speeding down the road. I’d never gone more than ten miles per hour over the speed limit. I’d always been too nervous about getting caught. “How fast do you think we’ll be going?” I asked as I turned to look at him and rubbed my hands up and down my legs.

  His eyes drifted from my legs up to my eyes with a smirk. “You’re not scared are you? Because I promise, I’m always careful. But if you are, I don’t have to take it on a test run.”

  “No, No, No,” I said holding a hand up. I didn’t want to seem like a wuss. “I was just wondering.” I laughed and shook my head. “I never understood the need for speed. I’m more of a cautious driver.” I scrunched my nose at him, knowing he’d probably laugh.