The Surgeon's Engagement Wish

by Alison Roberts

  They were passing the gift shop now and Brent paused to look at the display of merchandise.

  ‘The bunches of flowers are a bit on the small side, aren’t they? I’ll have to buy the lot, I think.’

  ‘Flowers aren’t allowed in ICU.’

  ‘They’ll be ready for her transfer into the ward, then, won’t they?’ Brent’s smile was satisfied. ‘I’ll get one of those teddy bears, too. Beth will love that.’

  Obviously there was not going to be any shortage of gifts showered on Beth in the foreseeable future. And how long would that be? Brent had a very clear vision of permanence, it seemed, and Beth was a key player. Would his generosity make her any more receptive to his plans?

  And was there anything Luke could do about it if it did?

  He couldn’t stay in the hospital all day. He was needed elsewhere. But leaving Beth to wake up and find Brent beside her was more than unsettling.

  The cardiologist seemed to sense how torn Luke felt. He held out his hand and Luke was forced to shake it.

  ‘Thanks for your help, old chap,’ Brent said politely, ‘but don’t let me hold you up any longer. I’ll be just fine now.’

  Luke’s feet felt like lead as he headed towards the car park.

  It would be Brent sitting beside Beth when she finally opened her eyes later today. Even if she had been aware of a loving presence beside her for the last twenty-four hours, she couldn’t possibly be certain of his identity. He himself may have been giving her messages of love that Brent would now be credited with, and there was nothing Luke could do about it without potentially making a fool of himself.

  He had never felt so powerless in his life but he was just too damned tired to try and think of a way of redressing the situation.

  The needs of others were calling him away from a selfish focus in any case. Kevin’s family…his own family…needed comfort.

  Still being tired wasn’t enough to stop Luke rising early to go into the hospital on Sunday morning. The Millhouse was well away from Ocean View and surely Brent wouldn’t have time to have breakfast and go visiting by 7 a.m. Finding Beth alone with her nurse was a good start.

  ‘How is she, Claire?’

  ‘Doing great. She’s been off the ventilator since 4 p.m. yesterday and everything’s looking good. They’ll be shifting her into the ward today, I would think.’

  ‘Has she been awake much?’

  ‘She stirred a little at odd times overnight, but hasn’t said anything yet.’

  The knot in Luke’s gut unravelled just a little. She hadn’t spoken to Brent yet, then. He still had a chance to say something. To at least tell her that he loved her.

  Claire smiled and Luke was sure she had guessed his thoughts. ‘I’ll leave you two alone for a minute,’ she said. ‘I’ll just be in the office if you need me.’

  Luke sat down on the chair and took Beth’s hand. The IV line was still there but he could see the fluids were drug-free. It was just normal saline, keeping the line open and her fluid levels up. Her skin felt warm but not febrile, and while Beth’s face was still very pale she looked a whole lot better.

  Luke squeezed her hand. ‘I told you everything would be all right, didn’t I?’ he asked softly. ‘I’m still here, Beth.’ He swallowed hard. ‘And I still love you, sweetheart.’

  His thumb traced slow circles on Beth’s palm and it was no imagined flicker he felt in her fingers this time. They curled around his softly. A weak grip but definitely a grip. Luke watched her face intently as her eyelashes fluttered and the corners of her lips twitched into a tiny smile. She was surfacing from a deep sleep. Any moment now she would open her eyes and when they managed to focus, it would be Luke she saw sitting so close.

  The return of Claire was unexpected and she sounded as apologetic as she looked.

  ‘I’m so sorry, Luke, but ED is wondering if you could go down?’

  ‘I’m not on call, Claire.’

  ‘They know that. There’s someone there who’s asking for you.’

  ‘Who?’ Beth’s eyelashes were still again, black against her pale cheeks. Her fingers lay still also. Had the buzz of conversation been enough to send her back into exhausted slumber?

  ‘Joan Winsome? Is she a relative?’

  ‘What’s Joan doing in Emergency?’

  ‘Her daughter’s been brought in by ambulance. Apparently she collapsed at home this morning.’

  ‘Oh…God! ’ There was no help for it. Luke felt like he was tearing off part of his own flesh as he extracted his hand from Beth’s and stood up. He walked towards the exit of the intensive care unit without looking back. He couldn’t afford to look back or it would be far too hard to keep moving.

  The dream was fading.

  Beth tried to hang onto it but instead of being cradled in Luke’s arms she was running now. Her bare feet sank into the warmth of dry sand and the soothing rhythm of breaking surf became fainter. Where was Luke? All she could see were the smooth, dark shapes of boulders. She tried to call because she could hear her name, but her lips refused to co-operate and her feet were slowing. She was just too tired to keep running.

  ‘Beth! Wake up, darling.’

  Luke! Beth made a huge effort to surface from the dream. Luke was calling her. He was calling her darling. Her eyelids felt too heavy to open and there was pain. Her head thumped and there was a sharper pain in her belly. But the effort was worthwhile because Luke was there. She could see the outline of his dark head. She just needed to blink so that her vision would be clear enough to see those beloved dark eyes.

  Except…they were the wrong colour. Green instead of grey. Weird. And the voice wasn’t quite right either. Beth blinked again.

  ‘Brent…what are you doing here?’

  ‘I came to look after you, darling.’

  ‘But…where…?’ Where’s Luke? Beth wanted to cry, but her head swam with sudden confusion and she had to close her eyes again to try and sort it out. ‘Where am I?’

  ‘You’re in the intensive care unit, Beth. You had a perforated appendix and a nasty dose of septicaemia. But don’t worry, you’re on the mend now. Everything’s going to be all right.’

  Of course everything was going to be all right. Luke had been saying that all along.

  Or had he? Had Beth simply been dreaming all along? Creating some sort of fantasy fuelled by fever and drugs?

  ‘You’re well enough to go to the ward now,’ Brent told her. ‘And I’ve arranged to take you back to Auckland tomorrow so I can take care of you while you recuperate.’

  ‘No…’ Beth pulled her eyes open again. ‘You can’t…do that.’

  ‘I already have.’ Brent patted her hand. ‘There’ll be a few people annoyed at not getting their slot for elective angioplasty and another couple that’ll have to wait for their permanent pacemakers, but I didn’t want to rush you, darling. We’ve scheduled take off for 2 p.m. tomorrow.’

  Beth tried to shake her head but it was easier to lie still. She didn’t want to go home. She was home. Surely she could stay where she was until she felt better?

  ‘It’s kind of you, Brent, but I don’t want to go back to Auckland. And I don’t need looking after. I can take care of myself.’

  ‘Not just yet you can’t. I want to look after you, Beth. You know that.’

  ‘Brent…’ Beth summoned the last of her strength. ‘I’ve already told you I can’t marry you. I don’t love you. I don’t understand why you’re here.’

  ‘I’m not doing this to blackmail you in some way, Beth. I just want you to get better. We’ll talk about other things later.’

  ‘No.’ But Beth knew she had no hope of winning this so she gave up for the moment and left her eyes shut. She wanted Brent to go away, but if he wasn’t going to then she would just escape and go back to that dream. She welcomed the reprieve of unconsciousness enfolding her. This time she would find Luke.

  ‘I don’t believe it. It can’t be true.’

  ‘Why not?’ Luke was smiling. �
�It makes sense, doesn’t it? You’ve been feeling off colour ever since you got here and Mum’s been very worried about you not eating.’

  ‘But why now? We’re not on the list for more IVF for another three months. It’s been three months since the last attempt. I’ve been trying to get pregnant for years, Luke. Why would happen all by itself and why now?’

  ‘Maybe it’s the best time it could have happened, Maree. It’s going to give us all something special to celebrate.’

  ‘I can’t tell anybody. Not till after the funeral. It wouldn’t be fair.’

  ‘On whom?’ Luke’s smile was poignant now. ‘Kevin? He’d be as happy as you should be about this, love. On your mum? She’s just lost her son. Don’t you think the biggest comfort she could have would be that her first grandchild is on the way?’

  ‘A grandson.’ Maree’s husband, John, was holding his wife’s hand tightly and still had a rather bemused smile on his face. ‘I can’t believe we could see him so clearly on that scan.’

  ‘Joan’s still in the waiting room,’ Luke reminded them. ‘Can I tell her she can come in now?’

  ‘You tell her, John.’

  ‘Shall I tell her the news?’

  Maree nodded. ‘Luke’s right. And Kev was the world’s worst at keeping secrets, wasn’t he?’

  ‘And then we’ll get you home,’ Luke said firmly. ‘You need rest and some fluids to deal with your dehydration. It’s no wonder you fainted, with your blood pressure dropping like that when you stand up.’

  Maree was reaching for the leather handbag John had left on her bed when he’d gone to find his mother-in-law. She fished inside.

  ‘Can you get rid of these for me, please, Luke?’

  Luke accepted the packet of cigarettes. ‘Have you got those patches with you?’

  ‘Don’t need them,’ Maree said decisively. ‘This is the best incentive I could ever get for stopping smoking, and I’m not going to use anything that might be harmful to the baby.’

  Luke smiled as he squashed the half-full packet and dropped it into the rubbish bin. ‘Good for you, love. You’ll do it, too, I know you will.’

  He excused himself before Joan came to see Maree in her cubicle. The small family needed time by themselves to absorb the startling discovery that a new member was expected. And he needed time to go back and see if Beth was awake yet.

  Luke.

  Beth blinked at the man beside her bed. How could she have been wrong…again? She had been so sure Luke was there. That wonderful feeling of comfort had come back. Of safety.

  Of knowing she was exactly where she wanted to be.

  But it was still Brent sitting beside her bed.

  ‘You’re awake again, darling. How are you feeling?’

  ‘Better. Thirsty.’

  ‘There’s iced water. Here, let me help you sit up a bit.’ Brent slid his arm behind Beth. ‘And look—you’ve got a visitor.’

  Beth looked. Luke was standing at the foot of her bed, her chart in his hand, and suddenly it felt terribly wrong to have Brent’s arm supporting her as she sat up enough to be able to swallow safely.

  ‘Luke…’

  ‘Hi.’ His smile was so much better in real life than it had been in her dreams. So was the look in those dark, grey eyes. It was just the kind of look Beth most wanted to see. The one that made her feel as though she was the most important thing in the world. The most loved even.

  ‘You’re looking a lot better,’ Luke said. ‘That’s great.’

  Beth couldn’t look away from him. But why was he reading her chart? Had he come to visit as a doctor rather than anything personal? ‘Was it you that took my appendix out, Luke?’

  ‘No.’ Luke smiled. ‘They wouldn’t have let me do that.’

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘I…wasn’t on call. And we were all a bit tired after that rescue effort.’

  ‘What rescue effort?’ Brent was looking from Beth to Luke and back again, and he didn’t look happy.

  ‘The whales,’ Beth told him. Her gaze flew back to Luke. ‘Were they all right? They didn’t try and strand themselves again, did they?’

  ‘They hung around for a while but they haven’t been seen since Friday afternoon.’

  ‘Here, darling. Drink this.’

  Beth obediently took a sip from the glass of water Brent was holding to her lips, but she shook her head when he tried again. She didn’t want another drink. She didn’t want Brent to be here at all, in fact. She didn’t want anybody to be here except Luke, but that was just wishful thinking. The numbers around her bed increased further as Claire and another nurse arrived.

  ‘We’re all set for you in the ward,’ she told Beth. ‘We were just waiting for you to wake up. I’m sorry, but we don’t have any private rooms available. You’ll be sharing with Mrs Daniels, who’s just had her gall bladder out.’

  ‘Oh.’ The sound was pure disappointment. No chance of any private time with Luke in the ward either, then. Beth still felt weak enough for the frustration to bring tears to her eyes.

  ‘It’s only for tonight,’ Brent said soothingly. ‘It’s just as well I’m going to whisk you back tomorrow to that luxury suite at the Mercy to finish recuperating.’

  Beth blinked back the tears. To her dismay her voice was slower to get into line and her words came out sounding far less sure than she had intended. ‘I said I didn’t want to go to Auckland, Brent.’

  ‘I don’t think she should go either,’ Luke said.

  Beth caught her breath. Maybe they didn’t need any private time. If Luke felt anything like she did then he could just say something right now. If she had been sure about how he felt, she would have said something already.

  But Luke’s words were disappointingly professional. ‘Beth’s not nearly well enough to travel yet.’

  ‘That’s why I’ve organised a medivac flight,’ Brent said coolly. ‘And hired a medical escort.’ He smiled at Beth. ‘I’ve even organised some tickets so that your friend can pop over from Melbourne for a visit. You’d like to see Neroli, wouldn’t you?’

  ‘Of course, but—’

  ‘No “buts”,’ Brent said firmly. ‘It’s all organised. Your job is to just rest and get better.’

  Say something, Luke, Beth pleaded silently. Claire was releasing the brakes on her bed. Things were happening too fast and she didn’t have the strength to resist by herself.

  ‘You should see all the flowers in your room,’ Claire said. ‘Mrs Daniels says it’s like being in the middle of a florist’s shop. All the nurses are dead jealous.’

  Had Luke sent flowers? Beth tried to thank him with her eyes but to her dismay he dropped his gaze and stood back to make room for the bed.

  Brent was smiling broadly. ‘It’s no more than you deserve, darling. And it’s only the beginning.’

  Beth lost sight of Luke as her bed was wheeled away.

  It felt far more like an end than any beginning.

  CHAPTER TEN

  THE MUSIC MADE people smile through their tears.

  ‘Trust Kev,’ someone murmured. ‘Who else would try and make us laugh at his own funeral?’

  ‘It was a beautiful service. Are you staying for the lunch?’

  ‘Of course.’ The speaker waved at the person walking towards them. ‘Yoo-hoo, Luke! You’re coming back to the house, aren’t you?’

  Luke paused near the elderly relatives. ‘I’ll be there within an hour or so. I’ve got someone I really need to pop in and see at the hospital on my way.’

  ‘Ah!’ Kevin s aunt nodded gravely. ‘I hope your patients know how lucky they are to have you, Luke.’

  The corner of Luke’s mouth curled into a brief, lopsided smile. ‘That’s what I intend to find out, actually.’

  Aunty Pru looked puzzled but Luke moved on. Joan waved to him from a distance, knowing his mission, and Maree used the hand that wasn’t holding tightly to John’s to give him an encouraging thumbs-up signal.

  The Jeep rumbled into life but Luke
gripped the steering-wheel and stayed motionless for several seconds while he took a very deep breath.

  The service had been beautiful. A celebration of life…and love. Luke’s twin sister, Jodie, had been spoken of almost as much as Kevin, and the presence of the young lovers had felt real enough to add a sharp poignancy to the powerful mix of emotions.

  It had been real enough for Luke to actually hear things Kevin had said so recently.

  That not many people were lucky enough to find their soul mate.

  That Beth had been the only one who had ever made Luke consider marriage.

  That Beth still cared.

  That Luke could find a way to flip that coin if he wanted to.

  That Beth was the one for him.

  And that he’d better do the job properly this time.

  By the time the final hymn had been sung, Luke had known with absolute conviction that he couldn’t let Brent win. It would be wrong for Beth. Brent Granger was the epitome of what Luke had once aspired to be himself. Successful. Powerful. In control of his own life and the lives of those who shared it.

  And he was planning to whisk Beth back to his own territory, no matter what she might prefer. How much more in control would he be then?

  Beth deserved better than that.

  Having just been reminded so vividly how precious relationships were, Luke was not going to lose the woman he loved so much. Not if there was any chance at all that she might feel the same way, and there had to be a chance.

  She wouldn’t have reacted as she had about raking up the past that time he’d suggested coffee if he didn’t still have an effect on her.

  He’d definitely felt something touch his soul that time their eyes had met after he’d commented on those awful rabbit slippers.

  And why had she been coming to his house when she’d discovered the stranded whales if she hadn’t had the intention of spending time alone with him?

  She had kissed him, for God’s sake. And that connection had taken Luke back in time. Right back to when he had first realised he had fallen in love with Beth. Before he’d met her parents. Before he’d rushed blindly into imposing his own vision of a future that had so missed the real point of being together.