Let Me Say This, Again

by B. Swangin Webster

  “So you think you are going to leave me and not give me anything. You better think again.” She said as she threw the spoon in the pot and walked over to where he was standing.

  “Get away from me. Lord knows how many men you have been screwing since we have been married. For all I know my baby girl might not be mine

  “How dare you.”

  “How dare I? So tell me, have you ever thought about whether I was her father, or not.”

  The silence in the kitchen was louder than the phone ringing.

  “Better answer that, it could be your new nigga wondering why I haven’t left yet. Let him know I will be leaving soon.”

  “Whatever.” She said as she walked out of the kitchen behind him. She reached for his shirt and he spun around quickly.

  “Look, Sherrie, I don’t know who you think you are, but it would be in your best interest not to push me.”

  “Or what?”

  He walked away because he was determined to keep the promise he made to his mother.

  Two years to the day, the divorce was final and she got the house and shared custody of Tamia. She didn’t get anything of what she wanted because she was good, but his lawyer was better.

  That was the night his friends got together and decided to take him out, and that is where he had first seen Cheryl. Yes, his life changed that night.

  Some men just don’t realize how good they have it, but he wasn’t one of them.

  He didn’t realize he was daydreaming until his phone rang on his lap.

  “Speak to me.” Matthew said into the phone.

  “Is that how you answer your phone,” the husky voice on the other end said.

  “Who is this?” he asked as he pulled the phone away from his ear and looked at the screen. The words “number unavailable” stared back at him.

  “Your worst nightmare.” A slight pause filled the air until he spoke again. “That new lady friend of yours looks might tasty.”

  “I am not asking again, who is this?”

  The voice chuckled and the phone went dead. He immediately dialed his ex-wife. As soon as he heard her pick-up he started yelling.

  “Who in the fuck you got calling my phone?”

  “What in the hell are you talking about?”

  “Look, Sherrie, you better not have some rough neck nigga around my daughter.”

  “You don’t give orders here.” She said before hanging up.

  He screamed and then started hurling obscenities to the walls within his bedroom. He ran down into the basement and started punching the workout bag. He worked out for two hours and when he felt he had let out enough stress, he went upstairs and started the shower but before stepping in, he called her.

  “Hey sexy. Did I wake you? Sorry, just wanted to make sure you are ok.”

  “I am. Now why are you really calling?” Cheryl asked with a hint of attitude.

  “Ok, ok, good lord, you are cranky when you wake up.”

  “Yes, especially when I don’t get anything for it,” she said seductively.

  “So I see we are wide awake now.”

  “When I hear that voice of yours, it wakes me up. Now what do you want?”

  “Nothing really, just to tell you that I love you.”

  “What did you just say?” Cheryl asked.

  “I love you. I have loved you for almost as long as I have known you.”

  “Oh, my goodness.” she sat up and folded her leg underneath herself. She ran her hand through her unruly hair and tried to stop from smiling. “Well, I love you too.”

  “Really?”

  “You make me smile, and you make me feel safe and secure. You are a wonderful dad, friend and being the most incredible lover I have known doesn’t hurt either. You make me feel like a woman, deserving of something better. You treat me better than I treat myself.” she paused. “So let me ask you, why do you love me?”

  He spoke slowly, “You are the beat that keeps me living. You are the breath that keeps me breathing, you are the light that keeps shining and it doesn’t hurt that you are the most sensual person I have ever known. The way your eyes glaze over when I make love to you is incredible. The way you hold me, the way you kiss me, damn, it’s nothing like I’ve ever experienced. Your kiss is like a dive into your soul, you give of yourself completely.”

  “You are going to make me drive over there,” she said.

  “C’mon,”

  “Nope, I think you have done enough for one evening. Good night, Mr. Perry.”

  “Good night, Ms. Bookman. I love you.”

  “I love you, too.”

  She disconnected her phone and smiled. Her phone rang just as she got back to her bedroom. She answered it without looking at the screen.

  “Look, honey, I’m tired and have to get some sleep.”

  “Who in the hell do you think this is?’ Kevin asked.

  “Why are you calling here, it’s after midnight.”

  “Where is Kayla?”

  “In bed I hope. She is at her friend Tamia’s house.”

  “Well, you guessed wrong. The police just called here and they picked her up for violating the curfew laws in DC.”

  “So you are just calling me?”

  “I tried, but your ass was out gallivanting all around town with that nigga.”

  “Whatever. Is she with you?”

  “No, I’m on my way to get her. She is at the 8th precinct on 8th and Calvary Street Northwest.

  Chapter 8

  Cheryl arrived at the precinct in just under thirty minutes and found Kevin and Kayla sitting at the desk of Officer Price. Kevin was looking like he could slap the taste from Kayla’s mouth, and Kayla was sitting with her arms folded. Kevin’s face was tight, his jaw twitching and his hands were balled into tight fists. His breath came fast and furious as the beads of sweat formed between his brows.

  “Well Kayla, since this is the first time you have done this, I suggest you listen to your dad and not do this again,” the officer said.

  “Oh, I can guarantee you that you will not see her again,” Kevin said through clenched teeth.

  Cheryl extended her hand to the officer.

  “Sit down,” Kevin said nastily. “This is her mother. She lives with her,” he said as if saying it left a bad taste in his mouth.

  “Like I was telling her father, Kayla was caught down in Georgetown after eleven, which is an hour after the curfew for D.C. Now, since this is her first offense, this is merely a warning. However, her name will now be in our data base and if she is caught out here again, she will be detained until at least morning. Then you and her dad will have to come to juvenile court.”

  Kayla stood as her mother approached the desk. The black leggings were hugging her curves like a snake wrapped around its prey. The makeup around her eyes made them appear to be cat like and the dark lipstick masked the immature lips of a fifteen year old.

  “Where in the hell did you get those clothes?” Cheryl asked.

  “You should have been asking her that, before your dumb ass dropped her off.”

  “You come on here, young lady, we will discuss this at home,” she said as she grabbed Kayla by the arm. Kayla pulled away from her. Kevin shot Cheryl a look as Kayla brushed by them on her way out of the door.

  “Thank you officer, you will not be seeing her again, I assure you of that.” Cheryl said as she turned toward the officer.

  As they neared Cheryl’s SUV, Kevin grabbed her by the arm.

  “What are you doing?” she asked him as she pulled her arm away from him.

  “You are nothing but a tramp. Can you not flirt with every man that smiles at you? If you cared more about your daughter than screwing some nigga, then you would know what she was doing out here until almost midnight.”

  “I dropped her off at her girlfriend’s house this evening. She didn’t have those clothes on and…”

  “I should slap the shit out of you right here!” Kevin yelled while walking over to Kayla.


  “Look, you need to lower your voice. Yelling like a damn mad man ain’t settling anything.”

  “Who the fuck do you think you are talking to?” He grabbed Cheryl’s arm again just as a police officer passed.

  “Sir, is there a problem?” he said as he stopped in front of them.

  “Uh, no officer. No problem, just teenager issues,” Kevin said.

  “Mom, I’m sorry. We just wanted to see a movie and Tamia’s friend Raelynn said we would be home before midnight. We got out at ten and we were at the subway station, but then a big crowd came on the platform and I didn’t get on the train. I didn’t have any way to get home, so I was trying to find a payphone to call her to come back and get me, I’m sorry. I didn’t have any clothes that looked nice enough to go to the movies so I borrowed some of hers.”

  “This doesn’t not excuse the fact that you were in a place that I didn’t know about.”

  “The only place showing the movie was in Georgetown, I didn’t think you would mind.

  “Well, you should have asked me. Well, you certainly learned something tonight, didn’t you? You gotta be quick when it comes to getting on the train.”

  As they pulled in front of the townhouse, Kayla hopped out and went into the house

  “Where the fuck is she going?” Kevin asked.

  “I told her to go to her room.” Cheryl said while walking behind him into the house.

  “You get your little ass down here right now!” He yelled up the stairs.

  “Lower your damn voice,” Cheryl whispered.

  “Who in the fuck do you think you are? You got that girl out here at all hours of the night and then I have to be called to pick up her ass from the police station and you tell me to lower my damn voice. Bitch, I should take your fucking head off!” He had raised his hand just as Kayla came back down the stairs. He grabbed her before she was at the bottom.

  “Get off of me!” Kayla said while yanking her arm away from her father.

  “Take your hands off of her!” Cheryl said while grabbing for his shirt.

  “Maybe if you spanked her ass, she wouldn’t be out here doing god knows what. But I’ll teach her tonight.”

  He yanked her into the bedroom and slammed the door shut and locked it. Cheryl banged on the door until her hand hurt. Suddenly the door flung open. He pushed past her and stomped down the stairs. Cheryl looked over at her daughter who was sitting on the bed, holding her face.

  “Are you ok?” she asked as she sat down on the bed and rubbed her daughters back. Her daughter nodded and Cheryl rose and walked downstairs.

  “Don’t you ever put your hands on her again!”

  “Get out of my face!” He said while drinking a glass of water.

  “This is my house!” She yelled.

  He threw the glass against the wall, and grabbed Cheryl by the shirt and slapped her. He then pushed her against the wall and had his fist balled up.

  “You better take better care of her, or so help me, you will regret it.” He slammed the door open and walked out.

  Cheryl was on her knees picking up the broken pieces of glass.

  “Mom, I will help you.”

  “I got it.” Cheryl said.

  “Mom…”

  “I said I got it!”

  Kayla stood and watched her mother on her knees picking up the glass and pulled her phone from her pocket. She kneeled down, took the cloth from her, and got more ice. She handed it back to her mother as her mother stood and faced her. Kayla slowly wrapped her arms around her mother and stood silent for ten minutes before breaking the embrace and heading out of the kitchen.

  About an hour later, the doorbell rang.

  “Who is it?”

  “Open the door, Cheryl.”

  She pulled the door open when she heard Matthew’s voice.

  “Are you ok? Kayla called me. Let me look at your face. He hit you!”

  “Matthew, calm down. I’m fine.”

  Matthew walked to the bottom of the stairs, “Kayla! Come down here.”

  “Matthew, I’m fine. Calm down.”

  “Look, the two of you are staying with me tonight.”

  “That is not necessary. Kayla, go back upstairs and get ready for bed.” Kayla walked back upstairs and Cheryl heard her daughter’s door close.

  Matthew was staring at her when she turned back around.

  “Cheryl, don’t let that motha….”

  “Shh, lower your voice.” she said as she walked towards the kitchen.

  “I’m sorry. It’s just that I can’t believe that motha-I mean I can’t believe that nigga had the nerve to put his damn hands on you. I should find him and beat the shit out of him. He is not going to be putting his hands on the woman I love. Not going to happen, Cheryl. Look, you can’t let him get away with this. You can’t. If he did it tonight, he will do it again.”

  “Matthew come and sit down. Listen. It won’t happen again, and if it does I will call the police, myself. Now, Kayla got herself into some trouble tonight by being downtown after curfew, he was upset and that is all.”

  “That doesn’t give him the right to put his hands on you. He ain’t even your husband anymore and he is still pulling rank!”

  “Stop it. I said I would handle it. Now let it go. Please.”

  Kayla came bouncing into the kitchen full of energy.

  “Mom, I left my stuff at Raelynn’s house. Can you take me to get it?”

  Matthew spoke up. “I’ll take you, your mom is tired, let her rest for a little while.

  “Can I, mom?”

  “If Matthew doesn’t mind, sure.”

  Kayla disappeared and Matthew walked in the kitchen. He pulled the cabinets opened and closed and he came back in with coffee for both of them.

  “We have to talk about what he did last night. I will not put up with him man-handling you. Now if you need me to set you up with a bodyguard.”

  “Are you kidding me? He only slapped me.”

  Matthew’s jaw clenched.

  “Are you kidding me?”

  “We were both stressed last night and he probably…”

  Matthew held his hand up as he stood. “Don’t you dare excuse his behavior to me.”

  “Let’s not get into this again.” Cheryl stood and steadied herself against the sofa.

  “What’s the matter?”

  “Nothing,” she said.

  “Are you sure? You look a little flushed.” He said as he placed his hand on her arm.

  Cheryl went into the kitchen and poured out her coffee, suddenly feeling sick to her stomach. After they left, she stretched out on the couch and fell asleep.

  The phone rang and she opened her eyes to see that she had been asleep for almost an hour.

  “Hello.”

  “Let me talk to Kayla.” Kevin said into the phone.

  “She’s not here.”

  “You let her go…”

  “Matthew took her to pick up her things and to get her something to eat.”

  “I told you I didn’t want him around her. Bring her over here when she gets back.”

  “For what?”

  “You heard what the hell I said.”

  Kayla came running up the stairs.

  “Mom, Matthew took me and Raelyn to IHOP for breakfast. Mom you will never guess who’s his daughter…Tamia…Tamia is his daughter. Can you believe that?”

  “Seriously? Why haven’t I ever seen you before when I dropped of Kayla for cheerleading practice?” She said to Matthew as they walked into her room. Not that she had actually seen Tamia’s mom either. She dropped her off a couple of times after cheerleading practice, but never bothered to talk to her. She was like a lot of parents that used cheerleading practice as a babysitter. Cheryl couldn’t recall seeing either of them in the two years that Kayla had been cheering.

  “Small world, isn’t it?”

  “Mom, Matthew said he would take us downtown later.”

  “Kayla. Now after that stunt you pulled last nig
ht, don’t press your luck. Besides, your dad called and wants you to come over there, so go get ready.”

  “I don’t want to.”

  “Well, either I take you or he comes and gets you.”

  She stomped upstairs and slammed her door. Matthew came up and sat down on the couch beside her.

  “Hey.”

  “Hey, yourself.” She said as she snuggled up to him and put her arm across his chest.

  “What’s wrong?’’ she asked him.

  He got up and walked into the bathroom and came out with a washcloth and mirror. He handed them both to her.

  She put the mirror in front of her and as the bruised face looked back at her, Matthew spoke.

  “See…he is still leaving his mark on you.”

  “Matthew, look, I’m sorry. What do you want me to say?”

  “Nothing, I want you to call the police.”

  “No.”

  “Then there is nothing you can say to me.” He said as he walked out of the living room.

  “Wait. Don’t leave. I have to drop off Kayla at his house. Will you go with me?” she said as she stood and went to him.

  After about an hour, Kayla was ready to go and Cheryl had covered up the bruise the best way she knew how. They drove in silence and Matthew pulled behind Kevin’s BMW in the driveway. Kayla got out first and Cheryl climbed out slowly, like a dead man walking his last few steps.

  “Should I go in with you?” Matthew asked.

  “No, I should be fine.” She said as she shut the car door.

  Kayla walked in after he answered the door. She went straight up the stairs.

  “Can we talk for a minute?” Cheryl said while walking further into the foyer.

  “Talk,” he said while walking towards his office.

  “Can we talk in the living room?” He continued into his office but she refused to follow him.

  “Look, we can talk in here. Now what in the hell do you want?”

  “Kevin, look. I can’t go in there. So I would appreciate…”

  “This is my fucking house. If you can’t talk in here, leave.”

  As she walked closer to the door, her hands began sweating and she rubbed them down the legs of her pants. She swallowed hard and then pulled her inhaler from her purse.