Healing Faith

by Jennyfer Browne

  Dad opened his eyes in shock, shaking his head at me.

  "Of course not, Kate! But I am sure he wishes he were. He lied to me and betrayed my trust," he replied roughly and took a deep drink.

  "What do you mean?" I asked, feeling my own sense of betrayal that he had known where Sean was all along creep through me. “You knew where he was, didn’t you?”

  My father turned and looked me in the eye hard.

  "I got him for you. I took care of it. And now he's in custody in the emergency room. It's over, Kate. You're safe. He won't hurt you again," he said, rubbing his bloodshot eyes.

  "How did you find him?" I asked. "How did you take care of him, Dad?"

  He turned and looked up at his pictures on his wall; at all of the sailing trips and political campaigns he had done with Sean and his father. It had been my father’s wall of fame, and sadly there were fewer pictures of his family there.

  "Can't you just be happy that he is no longer a threat? It doesn't matter how I found him or what I did to him. He's in custody, Kate. And if those tests come back positive, then he’ll be put away for a long time and you can do whatever you want,” he said and waved towards Nathan who stood just behind me.

  I felt Nathan straighten up beside me.

  “I need a moment alone with him,” my father said.

  “Dad,” I started, afraid in his present mood it would lead to Nathan getting hurt.

  “You want to go away with him?” he asked. I nodded. “Then grant me a few minutes alone to talk to him. Go make some breakfast or coffee or something.”

  I felt Nathan’s hand press against my shoulder.

  “It will be all right, Kate,” he whispered. “We have not had a chance to meet and talk. It is necessary.”

  I let Nathan move past me and watched as my father stood half way to extend his hand to Nathan. I tensed on reflex, unsure what my father’s intentions really were. Nathan remained straight-backed and polite as ever.

  “Frank Hill. We really didn't get a proper introduction," my father started, seemingly civil.

  Nathan stood a little taller and took his hand firmly, shaking it man to man.

  "I apologize, Mr. Hill. I had travelled for a few days with little sleep. I do not know what you must think of me, given my intrusion. I am Nathan Fisher," he said formally.

  I could see Dad sizing him up as he sat back down, eyeing him carefully.

  "There’s a lot I don’t understand," he said and leaned back in his chair. “But I’m sure you’ll answer some questions I have.”

  “Of course, sir.”

  My dad motioned me out the door then and I reluctantly made my way to the kitchen to make something for breakfast. I kept an ear out for yelling, or some kind of crashing. When I had breakfast mostly done, I snuck down the hall again to see how things were going. But more, I watched as Nathan took in the small room and answered Dad's questions without pause. I watched Nathan because I still could not believe he was here before me.

  I had been in a state of shock until this moment, seeing him respond to my dad's questions. Sitting straight, slightly uncomfortable in my father’s office with all of its distractions. His profile showed off his angular jaw, darkened with several days growth from not shaving. His eyes seemed a little sunken in, as if he had slept little. I could understand, having not slept much myself since my forced departure. But his strong back was just as I remembered it from all those days of watching it retreat from me.

  "How do you do everything without modern machinery? And electricity?" Dad was asking.

  "We manage. As was done before electricity tied you to the world around you, we live simply. We live by our own means and are happy with what we yield. We do not try to show off our accomplishments. We are there to do as God bids," Nathan replied simply, looking my father in the eye with the confidence of a man beyond his twenty years.

  "So you are religious then. How Kate fell in with you I can't figure out. We're not a religious sort," Dad rebuffed, shaking his head.

  "Perhaps she only needed the chance to see for herself," Nathan replied, and I could tell he was a little more guarded when he spoke. He was trying to be respectful, but still hold onto his convictions. So far he was standing up well to my father.

  I smiled for what felt the first time in days, seeing him there in Dad's old t-shirt, one that was maybe a little tight across the chest and biceps, showing off what honest hard labor did for him.

  "So you farm. Is there money in it? Or do you have to take handouts from the government?" my father asked.

  "We make our way without outside interference," Nathan replied smoothly.

  I was proud of him for speaking so well in front of my dad.

  "And your family? What do they think about you rushing off to find some girl?"

  "My family is gone, sir. I have no one but myself to tend to," Nathan replied.

  And then I was so sad for him, knowing what a brave and frightening thing it was to come find me. He held himself surely, and it weighed on me that he had taken this journey alone, without Jonah or an elder. I frowned and thought of the Bergers. They had to be worried out of their minds.

  "You manage a farm on your own?"

  "Yes, sir."

  "How? You’re just a kid," my father said, looking a little shocked. My dad had always complained about how kids today didn’t know the worth of good honest work. I had been offended by his complaints, until I met Nathan and realized it was true. Nathan was rare indeed.

  "I manage, sir. It would be easier with more hands."

  I smiled again at that. Because I wanted to be one more set of hands for him.

  "And it's your farm? You own it?"

  "It was my family's farm. I inherited it when they died, yes."

  Not once had my dad offered his condolences to Nathan. Grilling him on his property. Material things. Never about what good came out of Nathan's hard work. It made me so mad; he was acting like a father from the stone ages.

  "So what are your intentions with Kate then?" I heard from the room, my eyes widening at Dad's brazen question.

  Nathan didn't even flinch.

  "I am here to bring her home."

  "This is her home," Dad replied, his eyes narrowing at Nathan's calm demeanor.

  Nathan nodded and looked off towards the wall of pictures for a moment before speaking.

  "I am here for whatever Kate needs. She was happy there. She was safe. I only want that for her again," he replied softly, avoiding my father's glare.

  "She's safe here. Regardless of what you might think; whatever you think might have happened. She doesn't have to worry about anything while she is at home," Dad grated.

  Nathan turned his eyes back to Dad, and I felt my body tense when I saw the steely determination in his eyes.

  "Kate deserves to feel safe no matter where she goes. She has the right to choose where she goes, be it here or there. But it is apparent that she is not safe in her current situation," he said, his voice much more steady than I thought it would be.

  "And you think you will keep her safe?" Dad pressured.

  "If she will have me, yes," he replied, whisper soft, and my heart sped up.

  He wanted me.

  Dad chuckled and shook his head.

  "Well we'll have to see about that, son.”

  "Yes, sir."

  "I won't just let my daughter go away with anyone. I have my principals."

  I watched Nathan's jaw clench, his eyes flash. And I knew he was thinking about how my father had practically thrown me at Sean. Nathan opened his mouth to speak; I knew to say something that was not in his character. I jumped when I heard Stacy’s voice right behind me.

  “Breakfast is ready!” she called, touching my shoulder and nodding before turning to the kitchen.

  My dad stood and made his way past me while I waited for Nathan who rose stiffly from his chair. I could see the anger in his eyes, but as soon as I held out my hand, the anger faded. We walked in silence back to the kit
chen, where my father was already eating what Stacy had served him. He watched Nathan from across the table as I placed our breakfast on the table, ignoring me when I sat down beside Nathan.

  Nathan broke his eye contact with him as he bent his head and recited meal prayers, my own head dipping as he did so. We both murmured our thanks and amen, and when I looked back up, I found my father and sister both eyeing us awkwardly.

  “Amen,” my dad said, clearly uncomfortable with the word.

  We ate in silence for a few minutes, while my family continued to watch us. When my father finally spoke, he turned his attention to me.

  “He lives on a farm.”

  I looked up and wondered where my father was going with this.

  “I know. I’ve been to it many times,” I replied.

  “That’s why you’ve been getting up early, and cleaning?” he asked.

  I nodded.

  “You know how much work a farm is?”

  “Yes.”

  “And you know you’ll be cooking and cleaning and washing this man’s clothes. No cooking school for you with him,” he said, and there was a bit of a sneer on his face when he noticed Nathan’s back straighten.

  “We will work together to provide for one another, Mr. Hill. That is our way,” Nathan said.

  “But she won’t go to college,” my father pushed.

  “I wasn’t going to go to college with Sean either. I was going to be forced to stay at home while he worked,” I shot back.

  My dad’s smile broadened.

  “So why is this situation better then?”

  “She has a choice, and will have love and respect with me,” Nathan replied, his voice carrying that dangerous tone in it once more.

  My father looked from him to me, shaking his head.

  “You’ll see, Kate. You’re just going from one man to the other. It’ll be the same with this boy as it was with Sean.”

  “I would never raise a hand,” Nathan started, but my hand on his arm stilled him.

  I turned to my dad and stood up.

  “Nathan cares for me, Dad. More than I have ever felt. He’s a gentle person, from kind people. My place is there,” I said.

  My father leaned back in his chair and seemed to think about what I had said. In that brief moment, I thought that perhaps he understood. I thought that finally he might wish me well and want the best from me.

  “Well don’t expect to come crawling back here when he isn’t as kind and gentle as you say he is,” he rebuffed and stood from the table. “No one’s forcing you to stay. So go whenever you want.”

  He tossed his napkin on his plate and walked out, leaving me disappointed and embarrassed in his wake. We heard him head back to his office, the door slamming with a sense of finality. Stacy slowly rose from her seat with Nathan immediately following. She hugged me tight, and I could tell she was watching Nathan as she spoke.

  “I don’t understand everything about your kind, but I know you love my sister,” she said and then pulled away to eye me. “I have to leave this morning to go back to school. I don’t want to leave, but I want more time with my sister. If this is the last time I get to see her…”

  Nathan stepped close and rested his hand lightly on her shoulder. She looked up at him, surprised.

  “I will see to it that you may visit your sister. Please know that I would want nothing less than your support and love for your sister,” he murmured and was surprised himself when she reached for him to hug him as well.

  When she pulled away, she excused us so that she and I could speak alone. She hovered by the door, glancing at her bags and shaking her head.

  “Do you want this? To live with him and live that life?” she asked.

  “I was never like you, Stacy,” I said and chuckled when she pursed her lips at me. “I like the quiet life. And I care for Nathan more than I have anyone, except maybe you and Mom.”

  Mentioning our mother made her nod slowly and look back to see Nathan cleaning up our ruined breakfast. She laughed quietly and reached for me, hugging me again.

  “If he’s what you want, I can’t argue. Just promise me you’ll write or call,” she whispered into my ear. “I don’t want to leave until I know you’ll be all right.”

  “I’ll be all right,” I assured her and pulled away when I heard Nathan drawing near. “I found my home.”

  He blushed at my last comment and slid in beside me, smiling that tender smile I loved so much.

  “Then, I’ve got a plane to catch,” Stacy said and moved to grab her bags. Nathan moved in quicker and took her bags for her, the three of us moving towards the door. I hadn’t noticed the rental car parked on the street when Sean had delivered me, and now I was sad to know that I was saying good-bye to my sister.

  Nathan put her bags in the trunk while I hugged her one last time, trying hard not to cry. When he approached, she pulled him close and hugged him again.

  “I’m holding you to your promise,” she said. “I want to see you both again.”

  “You will,” he replied simply.

  Stacy let out a breath and slid into the front seat, starting up the car and rolling down the window to offer one last bit of encouragement.

  “Get out of here as soon as you can, Kate. This isn’t where you’re meant to be. I love you,” she said and put the car in gear, waving as she pulled out.

  I felt Nathan’s arms around me again, his lips brushing along my hair to comfort me as I watched my sister’s car disappear at the curve in the road.

  “Your sister is right, Kate. This is not your world. It is time to go home.”

  I nodded, feeling his words soak into me.

  I was ready to go home.

  Chapter 31

  With my father’s blessing to leave, as Nathan put it, I realized there was a lot to do before I could actually pick up and leave forever. Nathan sat with me at the table while I wrote down all the things to do, smiling in encouragement whenever I would get frustrated at just how much I needed to deal with.

  I needed to pull out the rest of my savings from the bank.

  I had to pack and decide what to leave behind, although that seemed to be the easiest task as I had little I could bring back with us.

  I needed to be sure Sean would stay in jail, speak with Deputy Stevens about what came next.

  I needed to do so many things when all I really wanted to do was simply leave.

  "Things will be better, I promise. We will leave this place and our lives will be ours again," he whispered and kissed me on the forehead before allowing me to retreat upstairs to shower.

  I let my thoughts ramble as I washed my hair, feeling my fear and confusion slowly disappear down the drain. With each moment closer to leaving, I found more courage to do just that.

  I would leave, and start anew.

  I felt a surge of energy course through me at the thought. I smiled into the mirror, seeing the bruises had faded more, a sign that I was indeed moving on. I stepped out of the bathroom full of hope. I retreated into my room and changed quickly, wanting to find Nathan and get out of the house, finally. I found him in the living room, standing in the middle of the room, his eyes transfixed on the television. I smirked and stepped in the room, Nathan coming out of his daze and shaking his head apologetically.

  "I turned it on by accident, then it would not shut off. It is troubling what they show on your television," he said and let me take the remote from his hands. I patted the back of it, jarring the batteries before shutting it off.

  "I won't miss TV. It rots your brain," I retorted and laughed when he could only nod.

  He was dressed already, having found the clothes in the dryer. I took a moment to appreciate him in his English clothes, now that I was less distracted by the events of yesterday. He stood there and smiled sheepishly, looking over his own outfit and glancing at mine.

  The T-shirt he wore was cut nicely for his broad chest, the v of it allowing some of his chest hair to peek through. I hadn't registered
last night how beautiful he was when we had been in the bathroom. But the English clothes revealed his strong arms, his long neck that needed a shave, and his strong legs whose jeans form fitted to him just so.

  He really was quite...

  "Beautiful."

  I looked up in surprise at his voice.

  "You are so very beautiful, Kate," he whispered and shuffled in place, bashful once more.

  I didn't know how to react.

  I never thought of myself as beautiful, but from the first moment Nathan had looked on me, he had been transfixed. Even if at first it had been fear of what he did not understand. We had grown so much in the last month, and had this detour in our lives not occurred, I wondered where we would be. I tried to look at the positive to having been taken from him, to acknowledge that it had made us stronger in our relationship. I would be able to show him some of my world, for good or bad before we committed to his.

  “We should call Emma before we go out,” he murmured against me.

  From his pocket he pulled out a small scrap of paper, and smiled shyly.

  "I have never had to call the phone before," he explained. I handed him the house phone and watched as he dialed the number, holding the phone to his ear.

  I could hear it ringing as I stood close to him, anxious to hear Emma.

  Two rings and then Emma's excited voice boomed out of the phone.

  "Nathan! Have you found her?"

  "Emma," he said and I could hear in his voice the strain of finally speaking to her.

  He cleared his throat and looked towards me, tugging me closer to him as he spoke.

  "I found her. She is safe. I am sorry I am just calling. I arrived last night.”

  "Can I speak to her? Oh please, I do not mean to be rude, but I need to hear her voice!"

  He paused a moment and grinned as he handed me the phone. I took it gratefully and felt the lump in my throat when I said her name.

  "Emma."

  It took her a moment through her crying before she could say anything. Hearing her so upset made me hurt that I was so far away and could not comfort her.

  "Are you all right, Katherine? With what happened when you were here, we were so worried," she asked quietly.