Flowers Vs. Zombies: The Complete Series

by Perrin Briar

  Liz couldn’t rightly explain it, but there was something about taking another person’s life that just didn’t sit right with her. It was the knowledge that they were a real person, were still capable of making their own decisions and continuing with their lives.

  “If we kill, we’re no better than them,” Liz said. “It’s a thin line, I know. But it’s one we have to keep on their side of. It’s what separates them from us, animals from civilization.”

  “I understand,” Jenny said. “Really, I do. But they will not have the same compunction. They will fire at us, hack us to pieces if they get half a chance.”

  “Let them try,” Liz said. “And we’ll do our best to ensure they never get that chance.”

  “We’ve got plenty of guns,” Bill said. “More than we can possibly use. I say we use them all.”

  “We’ll need to use everything we’ve learned to survive on this island,” Bill said. “It’s the only way we can beat them. This island has plenty of its own methods of self defense. We just need to harness them.”

  “What about the Lurchers?” Jenny said. “Do you have many of them on this island?”

  “Yes,” Bill said. “But I’m not sure we should be using them right now.”

  “Why not?” Jenny said.

  “We think they’ve been compromised,” Ernest said.

  “By an overlord?” Jenny said.

  “You know about them?” Jack said.

  “A little,” Jenny said. “Rumors, mostly. There were stories of them sailing in ships in Europe, heading this way. If it was true, then we have no hope left. The whole world will be undead, given over to them. It’s a shame we can’t use them here. They could have been an effective way for us to distract the pirates.”

  “Wait,” Ernest said. “There are some Lurchers we could take advantage of.”

  “I thought you said they were all under the overlord’s control?” Jenny said.

  “They are,” Ernest said. “The ones that have any form of consciousness. But there are others. There are those that have no consciousness, those that do not do what the overlord says because they operate on autopilot.”

  “I’ve never heard of such a beast,” Jenny said. “What are they?”

  “We call them Spinners,” Fritz said. “They spin. It’s what they do, and nothing we do can stop them, save knocking them over a cliff edge so they go off to another part of the world.”

  “But how are we supposed to manipulate them?” Ernest said. “How are we supposed to turn them into effective weapons?”

  “I’ve got an idea for that,” Liz said.

  Chapter Sixteen

  ERNEST’S ARMS shook under the strain of the bag of weapons he was carrying. His weak muscles weren’t used to hefting anything more than a book, or swinging a cudgel from time to time. He avoided hard physical labor whenever possible. Fritz, on the other hand, carried two bags. One on his shoulder, the other by the handles. He appeared not to be having much difficulty with them at all.

  “Shall we set it up here?” Ernest said, struggling to take another step.

  “No, we need to head a little deeper into the jungle, I think,” Fritz said. “Where there’s more foliage to conceal the weapons.”

  “I feared as much,” Ernest said, bending down to pick the bag up again.

  The sweat ran down his face and stung his eyes.

  Jenny walked past, carrying her own bag. It was the same size and weight as Ernest’s, and yet she appeared not to have any difficulty in carrying it. Ernest began to wonder perhaps his bag was laden with all the heaviest items. But it couldn’t be—he’d helped pack it. If anything, it was lighter than theirs. But he wasn’t about to admit that, especially not in front of Jenny.

  And then the strangest thing happened. Ernest suddenly became stronger.

  He bent his arms and legs and picked the bag up, shifting the weight so most of it would be lifted by his legs and not his arms.

  Fritz had seen Jenny too. He turned to Ernest, a sinister grin on his lips. He took the opportunity to bend over Ernest and say loudly: “Would you like a hand with that, Ernest? You look like you’re struggling.”

  If looks could kill, Fritz would have been writhing on the floor.

  “You worry about your own bags,” Ernest said sharply. “I’ll take care of my share.”

  “One bag for you, two for me,” Fritz said. “Hardly sounds like sharing to me.”

  Ernest gritted his teeth.

  “Then give me another bag then,” he said.

  “I don’t know,” Fritz said. “This is pretty heavy. Are you sure you can handle it?”

  “Yes,” Ernest said. “I can. Give it here.”

  “All right, muscle man,” Fritz said, handing the bag over.

  “There’s only one muscle in the human body we need to concern ourselves with,” Ernest said.

  “My thoughts exactly,” Fritz said with a cocked eyebrow.

  Jenny had the audacity to smile coyly. She giggled behind her hand.

  “And it appears that’s the only one you’re capable of thinking with,” Ernest said.

  “Hey, if it gets the job done, why not?” Fritz said.

  “Hundreds of thousands of years of development and we’re still left with the stamp of our lowly origin,” Ernest said.

  “We’re animals,” Fritz said. “We have needs. There’s no running from that.”

  The weight of the two bags was too much for Ernest, but he straightened his back and shuffled forward.

  “I guess we’ll see you when you catch up,” Fritz said.

  He grinned as he repositioned his own bag over his shoulder and headed deeper into the jungle. In Jenny’s direction. He was going to talk with her while Ernest lagged behind.

  Good move, Ernest thought. It had incapacitated him, made him look physically weak, and given Fritz time alone with Jenny.

  Ernest gritted his teeth and stumbled through the jungle with his heavy load. Love was a fool’s errand. He would have no part in it. Especially when it was competing with his handsome muscular elder brother for a single girl’s affections.

  By the time Ernest met Fritz and Jenny, they were laughing and joking. Flirting. No doubt at Ernest’s expense.

  “Let me give you a hand with those,” Fritz said.

  “I’m all right,” Ernest said.

  His body had never ached so much in his whole life.

  “Let’s just get these setup,” Ernest said.

  He took out a measuring tape and began to figure the size of the plants as well as their angles. Fritz and Jenny were still gossiping amongst one another. Eat it up, lover boy, Ernest thought.

  And then he had an idea.

  “Hey Fritz,” he said. “Bring one of those tripods over here, will you?”

  Fritz lifted it with ease and carried it to Ernest, shooting a look over his shoulder at Jenny as he did so.

  Yes, you have the muscles, Ernest thought. But do you have the one that matters? The one between your ears.

  “Set it up right here,” Ernest said, pointing to a fern.

  Fritz dumped it down, careful to ensure the greenery covered the black legs.

  “No, you know what, I don’t think this is the right location,” Ernest said. “Why don’t you give me a little hand with my calculations?”

  Fritz’s grin faded a little, remaining affixed to his face like it’d been tacked there with elephant glue.

  “What?” he said.

  “Check my calculations,” Ernest said. “You’re a couple of years ahead of me at school. This should be a walk in the park for you.”

  Ernest flashed Jenny a winning smile. She smiled back. Fritz did not smile.

  He leaned forward and lowered his voice.

  “Are you sure you want to do this?” he said.

  “You’re the one who started it,” Ernest said.

  Fritz glared at his younger brother. He took the piece of paper with the calculations on off him and began to read through them.
He handed them back to Ernest.

  “They look good to me,” he said.

  “Are you sure?” Ernest said.

  He checked his own work.

  “That’s strange,” he said. “Because I just handed you Einstein’s equation for the General Theory of Relativity. Are you saying we should counter for the effects of gravity in setting up these patrol guns?”

  Fritz glared even harder.

  Under his voice he said: “I’m going to kill you.”

  “Sorry?” Ernest said. “What did you say?”

  He’d directed his voice at Jenny.

  “It almost sounded like you didn’t know how to figure out these calculations,” he said. “Which is strange, because you’d hardly be able to move to the next grade without doing them. Unless of course you cheated on your final exams?”

  “I must have forgotten about it,” Fritz said. “I hardly need them in the world now.”

  “You’d have thought not, but here we are, needing them right now,” Ernest said. “I suppose we can’t all have photographic memories, can we? Where the gun is is fine.”

  Fritz, ego a little bruised, moved to the next tripod and hefted it. He couldn’t bring himself to look at Jenny, herself a former confessing bookworm. She could do the calculations, Ernest knew. He could see the small smile on her face.

  Ernest had surprised himself. He had never tried to win the affections of a girl before, certainly not when in competition with his elder brother, and certainly not while at school. He’d simply hunched down and focused on his studies. Now, that hard work was beginning to pay off.

  They set up the rest of the guns in their hidden positions, from a variety of locations. Once they were finished, they stood back to admire what they had created. Standing on the opposite side of the trap, they checked to ensure they couldn’t see the guns from this angle. Thankfully there was a lot of foliage.

  “We ought to check to make sure they fire, don’t you think?” Jenny said.

  “They’re not loaded, right?” Ernest said.

  “Right,” Fritz said.

  Ernest arched an eyebrow.

  “Would I harm you?” Fritz said.

  “Do you seriously want me to answer that?” Ernest said.

  “You guys,” Jenny said, shaking her head in exasperation.

  She walked forward to set off the traps.

  “Jenny, wait!” Fritz said.

  “There’s something wrong with the guns, isn’t there?” Ernest said. “I knew it.”

  Jenny stepped on one wire. It tightened around the triggers of half a dozen guns, each positioned just so. There was the clack sound as each gun registered empty. Anyone who came in contact with the wire would find it difficult to avoid getting shot.

  Jenny stepped forward again. She was impressed the wires were so difficult to see. It meant it would be easy for the pirates to trip on them. She stepped into another wire, and more guns clacked. This time there were fewer shots.

  “Something wrong with those triggers,” Jenny said. “We’d best get them sorted before it’s showtime.”

  “Jenny, I really think you should let Ernest take over now,” Fritz said.

  “And why’s that?” Jenny said sweetly, innocently.

  She took more steps forward, setting off another round of clacks. But this time there was a whistle sound as something sailed through the air and struck Jenny hard in the stomach and exploded in a bright purple burst. A paintball.

  Jenny gasped, doubling over.

  “Why did you do that?” he said.

  “I didn’t mean for you to get hit,” Fritz said. “It was supposed to be Ernest. And he’s a little taller than you, so I was hoping it’d hit him in the… in another place.”

  Jenny pushed Fritz away from her. She was angry. Evidently she didn’t find the funny side. She stormed off, in the direction of Falcon’s Nest.

  Ernest sidled up beside Fritz and slapped him on the back.

  “Never mind, huh?” he said. “You did some good work there. Shame about the finish.”

  “I’m going to kill you,” Fritz said.

  “If you were in charge of our plans, and they came off like that, I suspect you would have already succeeded,” Ernest said. “Give me a hand with fixing these triggers. Then you can help me load them.”

  Fritz sighed, shoulders hung, watching Jenny’s departing figure. The only eligible girl for a thousand miles, and he’d shot her with a high powered rifle. Great move.

  Chapter Seventeen

  A SPINNER was right behind the tree that both Bill and Liz were crouched behind. They held long lengths of vines in their hands, like lassos. It was the only effective method they had used to deal with Spinners in the past.

  Bill and Liz shared a look, nodded, and then took off around the tree, in the direction of the Spinner. It stood forlornly against the trunk of a tree, leaning into it. It sensed Bill and Liz’s approach and turned its pulverized head in their direction. It instantly began to spin, moving faster and faster, its limbs a blur.

  The key to capturing a Spinner was to catch it as quickly as possible, or else it would go too fast and then there would be no way to capture it. But this Spinner had gotten a head start, and it was going to be difficult to slow it down. The good news was a Spinner was easy to capture, unlike cattle, which tended to run quickly and were difficult to capture.

  “Bill!” Liz said. “Throw your vine at the same time as me!”

  “What for?” Bill said.

  “Just do it!” Liz said.

  The Spinner was getting close. Bill watched as Liz pulled her arm back and released one end of her vine. Bill did the same. They dived to either side as the Spinner spun toward them, then veered left, in Liz’s direction.

  The vines hadn’t slowed the beast at all yet. This was because its handlers hadn’t put any resistance against it yet. The Spinner was going far too fast and hard for Liz and Bill to stop it alone. Their arms would get wrenched from their sockets.

  Liz dived behind a tree. The Spinner slammed into it, showering Liz with leaves. Liz looked up.

  The tree branches. The tree could hold the Spinner. Liz tossed the end of her vine up. It looped over and dropped down on the other side. Liz tied the strongest knot she knew and then ran around the tree on the other side, in Bill’s direction.

  “Bill!” Liz said. “Tie the vine to the tree! To the tree!”

  The Spinner had already sensed her making her run and bore down on her, gaining speed. The vines were still unfurling. Liz cursed herself for making her vine so long. She ran, but she knew she wasn’t going to make it. She could hear a wurbling sound, like a chubby child shaking his head rapidly side to side. And it was getting closer.

  Bill hastily tied his end of the vine around the tree and turned in Liz’s direction. He opened his eyes wide and shouted: “Liz! Get down!”

  Liz obeyed, throwing herself to one side. She curled up into a ball, knowing what the unrepentant blows would do to her if they rained down on her.

  The vines tightened, stretching out and becoming rigid. They made a boing! noise as they became as taut as they could possibly get. The trees jerked as they took the brunt of the Spinner’s pent up energy. There was a snap as the branch Liz had attached her vine to broke. It did not snap completely.

  Liz looked up, finding a pair of gnarled fisted bones perched above her. They were frozen in place, shaking side to side in their effort to reach Liz’s body and beat her. Liz’s eyes were wide. She glanced at the tight vines, before crawling up out of the way and getting to her feet. She didn’t trust those vines to hold for long.

  She rushed to Bill, who extended his hands to grab her and pull her behind the tree. He hugged her tight, but he also knew they wouldn’t have much time if they were to get the Spinner and get out of there in one piece. So, he parted from her and together they moved around the tree and toward the Spinner.

  It was encased in a cocoon of vines six inches thick, and though it struggled, there wa
sn’t enough give for it to work its way free. But it would, given enough time. They had to hurry.

  Chapter Eighteen

  JACK climbed the tallest tree he could find. He could usually recall with remarkable ability the location of anywhere he had been in the jungle. It wasn’t difficult for him. Every tree was different, with different markings and texture. They reacted differently to his bodyweight and the wind. He could almost do it with his eyes closed.

  But the last time he had been through this particular part of the jungle he had been semi-conscious and afraid he would lose his footing. But from the vantage of this tree he saw the sheer rock cliff face he was looking for.

  “There it is, Nips,” he said.

  Nips coughed and hawed. Jack recognized it for the warning call that it was, and followed the little capuchin’s extended finger.

  A large band of men was heading through the jungle, more than halfway through now. The sun was high and Jack could feel it beating on his darkened face, but he couldn’t afford to linger.

  “Come on, Nips,” Jack said. “Let’s go.”

  He would need to climb as well as he had ever done in the past, and do it in record time if he was to get what he had come for. He leapt from the tree and latched onto a vine.

  He sailed through the air and scaled bark that, to the lay person, wouldn’t have held any handholds at all. But Jack knew better. His muscular hands fit into the grooves and around the knobs of wood like they had been specially made for him.

  At his shoulder, and occasionally using Jack’s own body to propel himself through the jungle, was Nips.

  Chapter Nineteen

  “HOLD UP,” Kristian said. “Break time. Ten minutes.”

  Any hope Kristian had been fostering that he might garner some friendship from his crew with his kindness had clearly been wide of the mark. The other pirates sweated profusely but did not offer a whisper of gratitude.