Flowers Vs. Zombies: The Complete Series

by Perrin Briar

  They had been nurtured to be that way, Kristian knew. It was a state of mind he had never achieved and frankly, never would. Yet another reason why he could never survive amongst the rest of the crew.

  The men leaned their weapons against a pair of tree trunks that had fallen and lay in parallel to one another. The men didn’t pass through the middle of these two trunks, but instead wound round either side, into the foliage.

  Kristian’s imagination leapt to new levels of paranoia as he imagined what the men were planning for him from behind their leafy enfolds. He fingered the pocket watch. So easily he had come by it, easier still how it could be taken from him.

  The men returned and continued on their journey through the jungle.

  And then he noticed something.

  The tree trunk showed evidence of having fallen not by nature, but by the hand of man. The tree had been hacked, the flat unnatural angle a fingerprint of evidence.

  And then he noticed something else.

  There wasn’t just one felled trunk, but a line of them, down either side of the route they were taking. They believed themselves to be taking this route because it was the easiest to traverse, but perhaps it had already been chosen for them, and they were merely following the route someone had made for them.

  A trap.

  “Uh, wait,” Kristian said.

  But the men, so used to ignoring him and his orders, continued walking.

  “Guys,” Kristian said. “I’m not sure we should be…”

  A series of short sharp cracks, and the ground gave way beneath Vlad. A short yell, and another pirate sank beneath the earth, then a third, and a fourth. One stood on the edge of a hole and flailed his arms in an effort to prevent himself from falling in. It was no good. One of the other pirates was close enough to grab him, save him, but that would hardly help the pirate once they were back on the ship now, would it?

  “Bunch of cowarrrrds!” the man said with his dying breath.

  There was a sickening crunch and an abrupt end to the man’s cry as he slammed into whatever was awaiting him at the bottom of the pit.

  The land around them was flat. Too flat. Unnatural. It seemed to make the situation all the more dangerous to Kristian. He saw pitfalls around every corner. In the old world he had been a safety inspector and it constantly appalled him how frivolous with other people’s health and safety people were willing to be.

  Two of the pits the pirates had fallen into had become deathly quiet. No surprises for what would be awaiting them in those holes. But groans came from the others.

  “Get those men out of there!” Kristian said.

  The crew looked at him with dangerous eyes. They didn’t want to rescue the crew in the pits. The victims had made a mistake, suffered bad luck and should be left to their fate. It meant an easier time of it on board The Red Flag once they returned.

  They moved slowly toward the holes and took their sweet time in retrieving vines from the trees that surrounded them. They began to lower them into the holes.

  Kristian edged toward the pit Vlad had fallen into and peered inside. Vlad had been impaled. The universe wasn’t without irony. The sharp tips of the protruding pikes had thrust through his body, blood dripping from the sharpened ends. There was no hope for Vlad.

  Then Kristian heard the heavy footstep of a large man on the ground behind him. A moment too late, as a man shoved Kristian forward. Curiosity had gotten the better of Kristian, and now he was paying for it with his life. At least it would be a quick death. He was relieved that for the first time in his whole life he didn’t feel afraid.

  Chapter Twenty

  JACK came running through the jungle, and dumped a bag full of purple and pink flowers with green stripes on the ground.

  “These are the same as we were infected with before?” Liz said.

  “They are,” Jack said. “These are all the ones I could find.”

  “Good boy,” Liz said. “Now, you should all get out of here. If something goes wrong and I inhale their poison, it’s better if it affects just me and not the rest of you.”

  “I agree,” Bill said. “But I’d prefer it if it were me.”

  “I’m the one with the mask,” Liz said.

  Her eyes smiled, but they carried a look of concentration that Bill had seen on his wife’s face before. She wasn’t about to back down on this.

  “Just be careful,” Bill said.

  He turned and headed toward Falcon’s Nest.

  Jenny crossed the clearing, carrying even more weapons toward what remained of Falcon’s Nest. She followed in Bill’s wake. She put the bag of weapons on the winch and began climbing the ladder. Bill was already pulling on the ropes, bringing it up to their home.

  Meanwhile, following in Jenny’s wake were Fritz and Ernest. They were arguing about something, pushing and shoving one another. It didn’t look like it would come to blows, as it used to when they were much younger, but more like a childish playful argument.

  “What’s up with Ernest and Fritz?” Jack said, watching them. “They’re acting crazy.”

  Liz couldn’t make out what they were saying, but it was obvious what they were arguing about.

  “That’s just another word for having a crush,” Liz said.

  “A what?” Jack said.

  “A crush,” Liz said. “It’s where you find yourself liking someone else.”

  “Like me and Nips?” Jack said.

  “I hope not,” Liz said. “I mean, like your father and I.”

  “Oh,” Jack said. “Like love?”

  “That’s right,” Liz said. “But a lower level of it. Perhaps it’s the first step to love. But every bit as serious if left untreated. One day, if you’re very lucky, you’ll get to feel it too.”

  “I hope not,” Jack said. “Not if it makes you act stupid like Ernest and Fritz.”

  “It can,” Liz said with a nod. “Sometimes. But sometimes it makes you act smart. Look at your father. He was lost before he met me. He’ll tell you so. In fact, you can ask him yourself when you take this to him.”

  She handed Jack a bag full of what looked like packed bags. Jack moved to Falcon’s Nest and scaled the ladder to the top. Bill, Fritz and Ernest were sanding down the walls. It seemed a strange thing for them to be doing. Why make the walls thinner? Wasn’t it already drafty enough?

  Jack handed the bag to his father, who peered inside.

  “Thank you,” he said.

  “Mom said you were lost before you met her,” Jack said. “Is it true?”

  “If your mother says so,” Bill said.

  “Why didn’t you just get a map if you were lost?” Jack said.

  Bill laughed.

  “Believe me, I’ve asked myself the same question many a time,” he said. “It would have been a lot cheaper, and a lot less trouble.”

  He blinked, as if surprised by what he’d just said. He glanced left and right, checking to make sure Liz wasn’t close by.

  “But don’t tell your mother I said that,” he said.

  “No,” Jack said, frowning and very confused. “I won’t.”

  “I need you to go to the top of Falcon’s Nest and keep an eye out,” Bill said. “Do you think you can do that?”

  “Yes,” Jack said.

  And he would do it with pleasure. He wanted to get away from this madhouse. But no sooner was he at the top of the tree than he began to scale back down it again.

  “What is it?” Bill said, looking Jack over head to toe. “Have you hurt yourself?”

  “No,” Jack said. “You said to tell you when they were getting close.”

  “How close are they?” Bill said. “They haven’t set the alarms off yet.”

  “They’re coming from the sea,” Jack said.

  “The sea?” Bill said. “I thought they were coming from the jungle?”

  “Who?” Jack said.

  “The pirates,” Bill said.

  “Yes,” Jack said. “They’re coming from the jungle. Th
e others are coming from the sea.”

  “Which others?” Bill said.

  “The natives,” Jack said.

  “The natives?” Bill said.

  His voice was chill, cold. Another enemy.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  “THEY’RE coming from the northeast,” Bill said. “In canoes. It’s unlikely to be anything good considering how we parted ways.”

  “I certainly remember them,” Jenny said. “I’ve still got the memento they gave me.”

  She put a hand to her throbbing head.

  “Why now of all times?” Fritz said. “Haven’t we got enough to worry about already?”

  “We need to incorporate them into the plan somehow,” Bill said. “Ernest?”

  Ernest shut his eyes and thought through the problem.

  “It’s impossible,” he said. “We can’t defeat them all, even with all the weapons. We’re severely undermanned.”

  Bill sat in silence, knowing every second that ticked by was another second they could have been using to make more traps.

  “Then we need to get more men,” Liz said.

  “What men?” Bill said. “Is there a recruitment office around here I’ve missed, or something?”

  “No,” Liz said. “You just said the natives are approaching the island. They might be here to find the people we took from them, or they might be here for some holy ritual, but if we gave them weapons, don’t you think they would fight?”

  “No,” Bill said. “Why would they? This isn’t their fight.”

  “But it is,” Liz said. “We know the relationship between the two is strained, right Jenny?”

  “Yes,” Jenny said. “The pirates often attack them for food or women.”

  “They will want to kill the pirates,” Liz said. “So why don’t we make it a fair fight?”

  “And what makes you think they would trust me, a white man, no different to the ones who have been attacking them?” Bill said.

  “They wouldn’t have to trust you,” Liz said. “Give them the weapons with no conditions.”

  “What if they run?” Fritz said.

  “So what?” Liz said. “We wouldn’t have lost anything.”

  “Except time,” Bill said.

  “So what you’re saying is, we use them to fight against each other,” Jenny said. “The pirates versus the newly armed natives.”

  “A perfect storm,” Bill said.

  “A perfect storm for a perfect disaster,” Liz said.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Flint Nose was the second mate, and was a leader better suited to the pirate crew. He was strong, harsh, and knew the tricks the others might attempt against him because he would have done the same things himself.

  The pits were a fiasco, but they were not difficult to work their way around. They simply poked at the ground before them in order to avoid them. Other than the five men who had fallen into the pits, there were no more losses. A pity.

  They moved through the jungle slowly, carefully, always putting their feet in the right places, double checking each time they did so.

  “Hold up,” Flint Nose said, holding up a large thick hand. “Five minute break.”

  The others paused, putting down their weapons. Some took a seat, others took off into the foliage.

  “Go back the way we came, if you need a slash,” Flint Nose said. “We don’t know what’s up ahead yet.”

  Except Flint Nose did know what was up ahead. He caught the glint off the wire, like off a spider’s web, four inches above the ground. This family were not as weak and defenseless as they had assumed. It wouldn’t be difficult to remove the wire, or else head back and figure another way to the family’s home.

  But that wasn’t in Flint Nose’s nature. Neither was passing up a perfectly good opportunity like this one to remove himself of some of his enemies. In fact, the whole crew were his enemies. Not one of them would hesitate for a moment before slicing open his throat. Neither would he, for that matter.

  But there was one big difference between himself and them: he was in charge. He occupied only this body, and he wasn’t about to sit around and wait for one of them to do to him what he had done to Kristian.

  Once they were finished with their break, Flint Nose called forward the five men he least liked and had them stand in a line.

  “We’ll take turns heading into the jungle on the front line,” Flint Nose said. “It’s fairer this way.”

  But the men still grumbled. No one like to be on the firing line. Flint Nose didn’t know what would happen when they broke that line, but he knew it wouldn’t be anything good. He was quite certain of that.

  He turned out to be right.

  A series of gunshots exploded and all five men dropped. Some writhed on the ground, others didn’t move again. In either case, they would be left behind, unless one of the crew was dumb enough to accept their weakness upon their shoulders.

  There were no further shots. Flint Nose got to his feet. The rest of the crew followed suit. Then Flint Nose called the names of another five men. The next five men he didn’t like. They shared looks, concerned, about their safety. But they had no choice.

  They got to their feet and moved forward. They got to the line of men who lay prostrate on the ground. Two were wailing, in pain. The other three were silent. They made out the thin wire across the clearing and then kept a close eye out for another wire. They inched forward slowly, knowing that if just one of them was to step on the wire, they would all suffer for it.

  Bang!

  Someone had tripped on the second wire. And now they all lay on the ground, in pain.

  The rest of the crew had followed at a safe, discreet distance. Flint Nose called forth the next five men.

  “Can’t we just send one man?” one of the crew said.

  Flint Nose turned on him, and then repeated the names again.

  The five men stepped forward and accepted their fate.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  ERNEST and Jenny stood facing the jungle. They had heard the gunshots. It meant the pirates were getting closer. Much closer. They would need to hurry if they were to reach the coast in time.

  They rushed through the jungle, sweat pouring down their faces. This was a lot of work when they could have just pulled the triggers themselves, Jenny thought. It wasn’t that she didn’t understand Liz’s point. It made sense, but it was ideological, not really applicable in the real world.

  They weren’t killers. All it would take was a simple twitch of their index finger to rectify that. Jenny recalled the first man she had killed. She suspected she would forever remember him. She had felt the same instinctive revulsion at the prospect Liz had.

  There was a big difference between taking life from the undead and the living. One was taking life from one who still had it, the other who no longer did. They were the walking dead, no more alive than a body that twitched after it was dead.

  If they hurried, they would get to the northeast coast before the natives did in their canoes. The natives were used to taking life. It was in their blood. It was as easy for them as breathing, and it carried no negative associations at all.

  Jenny was just ahead of Ernest, picking her way through the undergrowth. She had changed a lot since he had last seen her. They had been on the main deck of The Adventurer together, Ernest using his strategy skills to best a huckster playing a game of Mahjong. A lifetime had passed since then, and it had turned Jenny into a more serious person. Ernest saw little of the girl he had been in math club with, competing in events that seemed so pointless now.

  They reached the fringes of the jungle and peered out. The natives’ canoes were still some way out. They would take a good twenty minutes to reach them going at their current pace.

  Twenty minutes to death, Ernest thought.

  They deposited the guns and turned to head back into the jungle. Jenny wasn’t with him. She was bent over the guns, checking they were fully loaded. Ernest sighed, headed back, and bent
over to help. They were done fast, and finally, headed back into the jungle.

  They were halfway home when Ernest took off his glasses and smoothed back his hair.

  “Jenny?” he said.

  “Yeah?” Jenny said.

  “I’ve been waiting for the right time to give you this, but seeing as we might not have much time left, I thought I’d give it to you now,” Ernest said.

  He took his hand out from behind his back. It was a pink purse with a simple flower design pattern on it. Jenny’s hands went to her mouth.

  “Oh my God,” she said.

  She reached for it, her hands shaking.

  “I found it as we were sailing from The Adventurer,” Ernest said. “It was floating in the water.”

  “You kept it?” Jenny said.

  “It’s no trouble,” Ernest said with a shrug. “I never opened it.”

  Jenny smiled.

  “I wouldn’t have minded if you had,” she said.

  “It’s not mine,” Ernest said. “I almost opened it a dozen times, but I never did.”

  “You must have been curious about what’s inside,” Jenny said. “Sort of like finding a chest of treasure, isn’t it? I don’t think I can even remember what’s inside.”

  She opened it. Her eyes widened, a big smile on her face as the memories flooded back.

  “Thirty pesos,” she said. “You won these for me, remember?”

  “Mahjong,” Ernest said with a smile.

  She took a yellow card from a pocket.

  “My library card,” she said. “Think Mrs. Frost might be a bit upset if she knew I still have Treasure Island out on loan?”

  A handful of other cards, all worthless now. She shuffled through them. Each one useful in her past, a key to products and services she no longer recalled.

  Jenny dropped them. They scattered across the ground. She’d found something at the bottom of her wallet.

  “What is it?” Ernest said. “Something bit you?”

  “No,” Jenny said.

  She was pale, her body shaking.

  “I just forgot it was in there, that’s all,” she said.