by Felicia Lynn
I’m just getting comfortable when Alexis yanks the ear buds out of my ear.
“Oh, Hell to the No. You are not going to flip over and shut me out, Whitney Anne Patrick. I know you have feelings for that guy, and there’s no way you’re not pissed that he just showed up at my house with another chic.”
She’s staring me down as she precedes with her little rant.
“I’m pissed so you damn sure better be, girl.” She finishes with a huff, as she sits in her lounger looking in the distance at the garage.
Shit, poor Jon. He has no idea what he’s done, yet. Alexis is plotting and there’s only one person I know that could stop her from killing that boy, and it’s Garrett. Unfortunately for Jon when Garrett finds out he’s upset his girl, Garrett will likely kill Jon himself. It’s all a little bit comical actually. Oh well… good riddance, Jon. I think silently to myself. I am pissed after the song and dance he gave me yesterday, but I refuse to show it.
“Alexis, I told him no. I told him I wasn’t interested. He moved on… Good for him.” I say trying to sound convincing and pretend that I’m totally fine and unbothered by his little friend. I throw in a little smile and she quite literally starts laughing. But not your typical ‘oh that’s so funny laugh’ more like, ‘Oh, I’m about to kick your ass if you don’t get yourself together and start telling the truth’ laugh and I’m a bit freaked out.
“If you think, for one minute, I am buying any of this, ‘I’m not really interested in him anyway’ attitude, YOU ARE MISTAKEN.” She’s fuming and I thought she was mad at Jon, but clearly I misread that situation.
Once upon a time I think, I said the same thing to her when she was hiding her head in the sand and barely living. But this is different! I am living. I have a great life with amazing friends and family. There’s no way she’s turning this around on me.
“Alexis, Jon is a great guy. But I’m not interested in a relationship with him. Actually even a friendship with him is too complicated at this point in my life. Try not to make more out of this than it is. It’s clearly not a direction either of us is interested in pursuing. Accept that.”
I take my ear buds and make a successful attempt to stuff them back into my ears, in hopes of stunting this conversation. I’m not sure how long this will work for, but it’s worth a shot.
I really do wish I could have met Jon anywhere other than here, in this situation. Why in the world does the universe present an amazing guy that I enjoy spending time with, in a scenario that makes us incompatible because of who our best friends are? It’s things like this that make me realize how incredibly unfair life can be sometimes. But, I learned long ago that half the battle of overcoming these life craps is learning to get over it and move on to something productive. A long time ago when I would complain about unfair things, my biological mother used to tell me to ‘suck it up, buttercup’. So I guess I kind of made that my life’s motto. No use crying over things you can’t change.
I find myself relaxing as I stumble through my playlist, and find the perfect selection of songs to compliment my mood as I drift off for a little nap.
When I wake from what I think was a brief slumber I see Alexis on the deck by the back door talking with Garrett. It’s hard to hear well, but I get bits and pieces of the conversation.
“No, I’m not ok with it. My best friend is pretending that she doesn’t care when I know she does. And he’s flaunting around here with another girl. He knows she’s interested and just needs time… I could just wrap my fingers around his neck and…”
She says as she looks over to me and notices I’m awake and listening to her.
“… Crap.”
I sit up and she and Garrett walk over to me. Garrett looks me directly in the eyes with a hint of a smile floating on his face, and asks, “Ok. Whit, my wife wants me to kick his ass or at the very least not to hold her back, when she does. What do you want? Should I go get him and bring him out here to be stoned on the lawn?”
At this point I’m laughing at the situation. I mean Alexis is adorable when she’s pissed off, and even though I understand she’s pissed about what she thinks she knows, and nothing that either myself or Jon, that I know of, have confirmed. This is all a little ridiculous. I’m laughing at this point, huge belly laughs. I can vividly picture Alexis with her tiny fingers around his neck, and screeching at her husband that she’s got this, not to worry.
I shake my head and respond between fits of laughter,
“No Garrett, I have told Lex many times that I’m ok with this. There’s nothing going on with Jon and me. He’s free to date anyone he likes.”
With that Garrett and I look over at Lex who is standing with her arms folded across her chest clearly frustrated and not finding our laughter and jokes funny.
I tell the two of them how much they mean to me and that I love them. But, I really need to get home and get sorted out for work tomorrow. Alexis is still huffing while I pack my things in my pool bag.
“Lex, we’ll do lunch one day this week and I’ll send you the details for girls weekend once I get it all finalized. Kiss the kids for me when they are done resting. Gotta go.”
I say kissing her cheek and taking the long walk around the other side of the house since I have no interest in running into Jon and his little friend.
Jon
When Garrett walks back into the studio from his little break to check on the family, he gives me smirks and shakes his head. Oh shit, what does that mean? When he looks from me, to Kelly, and then back to me and mouths quietly “you idiot,” I know I’ve really screwed up.
I get up off the couch and walk over to him as he makes some setting changes to the amplifier. I only have one question for him.
“Is she still here?” I ask quietly, and then he shakes his head.
“Dude, you’re done and Lex is about ready to kill you. I wouldn’t leave through the house if I were you.” I feel my heart drop to my stomach and nausea set in. Done? What does that mean?
Once the group is back from the little recess, we all sit to work, but I’m barely able to focus. I mean, I’m trying to keep up with chords, but every ounce of energy I had has just been knocked out of me. It’s challenging to focus even on what we’re doing at this point. Thoughts and frustrations have taken over. This seems to go on for hours, and then I notice that Kelly is still smiling in the corner chair and appears to be enjoying herself.
Eric is spending time engaging with her and really working to make her feel comfortable. He’s explaining the process and what we’re doing. Hell¸ at this point he’s been a better friend to her today than I have. Maybe I suck at friendships.
Just the thought of Whitney being upset makes me completely crazy. If she cares, why can’t we give it a try? I mean I want her to know how I feel, but I also don’t want to send her running again. I’d be willing to do anything to at least give it a try.
The guys are all talking about something and I strum some chords. Garrett looks at me,
“Yeah… we can work with that.”
I’m totally in my own head at this point, and that’s usually when I come up with the best stuff. Then we start mixing in the lyrics.
“Didn’t have to dig too deep for that, did you?” He says with that still smart-ass grin.
We’re playing around with my rhythms and the lyrics that Eric has been working on, and it’s all coming together really well. We spend the next hour working through it until it’s decent and just needs to be tweaked in the recording studio.
Eric looks over to Kelly and winks saying,
“Baby, you just witnessed writing magic,” as we are all getting up to leave and she smiles widely at him, and I watch her face get flush. She definitely likes the attention he’s giving her.
To be honest, I’m feeling a little anxious and ready to get home. I’m nervous when we walk out of the studio and everyone starts heading toward the house. I know that Garrett told me to take the long way out if I was smart, but when I look ove
r toward the house there’s Alexis on the back deck sitting in the lounge chair waiting. It would be too obvious if we walked the other way at this point.
“Hey guys, how was the session?” She asks as we head in that direction.
Her eyes could possibly drill a hole right into my head the way she is starring daggers at me, and that sweet southern act scares the hell out of me when she’s really pissed. I know she’d rip me apart given the chance, if I hurt her best friend.
“It was fantastic, sweetheart, quite a productive afternoon.” Garrett tells her as we walk onto the porch, and he wraps her lovingly into his arms. Damn… those two love each other so much. I’m a little envious of that.
Alexis looks to Kelly then me, I can see that she’s looking for cues that she and I could be an item. I want to be clear that we aren’t so I’m careful not to stand too close to Kelly or give any mixed signals to either of them at this point.
I want to get out of here as quickly as possible so I try to limit the small talk, that is until little Sierra comes bouncing our way with her adorable little pig tails. I’d never in a million years thought I’d like any little girl, but this kid has a Wow factor that cannot be ignored.
“Uncle Jon, where have you been? I was looking for you today and my mama said I couldn’t interrupt while you were working.”
She says so sweetly as she squeezes my leg. Then she notices Kelly, who’s smiling down at her clearly interested in an introduction.
“Hi, I’m Sierra. Who are you?” She asks, as her mom just stares with no intentions of helping me with this introduction.
Kelly doesn’t look the slightest bit uncomfortable.
“Hi, I’m Kelly. I’m a friend of your uncle.”
She says to Sierra thinking that was a great answer for a normal five and a half year old, but I know way better. She just opened the damn Pandora’s box of inquisitions. I again look to Alexis for help knowing its coming and she snickers… she fucking snickers. She knows what’s about to happen and then I hear the questions begin.
“Oh… are you the kind of friends that like to kiss?” The little pig-tailed troublemaker asks.
“Or are you the kind of friends like my cousins and me that just play together and have fun?” She nonchalantly questions.
And I look at her mama just waiting for the questions to be answered with a big smile on her face.
I quickly pick up sierra and tickle her trying to change the course of questioning, but just to be clear to all parties within ear-shot, I answer.
“We are the kind of friends that talk when we need a friend. The only girl that gets my kisses is you, you little trouble maker.”
I tell her through giggles as I kiss her plump cheeks between her fits of giggles.
It appears as though everyone approves of my answer since Alexis no longer looks like a mama lion waiting to pounce at my first sign of weakness. Garrett clearly is loving the sound of his little princess’ happiness and scoops Sierra right out my arms, and then tells her to pack her special things since she’s going to Mimi and Pop’s for the night.
As she’s running off into the house, Alexis looks to me and says, “Jon, we haven’t had much time with you lately. Why don’t you go ahead and take Kelly home and come back to join us for dinner?” Even though there was a question in there it wasn’t really an option, and she’s accurately assuming I’m taking Kelly home. Alexis is a “do it my way’ kinda girl and I know that.
I decide right away that it would be in my best interest to be on her good side, and comply so I nod my head in agreement before saying our swift goodbyes. I show Kelly out of the house through the front door and to my car.
Kelly and I make small talk all the way back to the center where we left her car. She seems to be in good spirits so I feel better about leaving her alone since she’s had a pretty good day. As we pull into the center, she turns to me, looking at me with a questioning stare but she doesn’t ask any questions, she smiles sweetly saying, “Thank you for an amazing day Jon. I’m so glad I have you in my life.”
I feel immediate sense of responsibility for helping her make it through the next few days without using; but I also wonder how many of these days I’ll be capable of really helping her, and feel a strong urge to help her build a more stable support system. It can’t be just me.
“You know you can contact me anytime you need to talk, and if I’m not around, we have this group for a reason.” I tell her as I give her a big hug before leaving and vowing to myself and to her that I will make more efforts to keep in touch with her.
When I arrive back at Garret & Alexis’ house, they are in the kitchen with Garrett’s parents who have come over to get Sierra for the night. I’ve known James and Elizabeth for a long time. They’ve tried to somewhat be the parents that I didn’t have. So I am very comfortable with them and have become closer to them since the move to Tampa.
I walk into the kitchen hugging Elizabeth, and of course she reprimands me for not visiting enough and wants to know what I’ve been up to. Alexis takes that opportunity to insert her two cents in that moment as well, saying she’d love that information as well, and I know that her comment has everything to do with Kelly’s attendance today. I was hoping we were past it but I feel pretty certain at this point that we aren’t.
James and Elizabeth felt like they hit the jackpot when Alexis and Sierra came into their life. Those two were made to be parents and what’s even better is they are insanely great, grandparents. They don’t go more than a couple days without coming over to see the kids. It helps that they adore Alexis. To be honest we all did. She made Garrett so happy, and there haven’t been any other women in Garrett’s life that made his world stop. We all recognized from the start that this was probably it for him.
When he got a call that Alexis was in the hospital and very sick several hours before a show, it wrecked him. He’d been a mess for a good day thinking that she was avoiding him. I’ve never seen that man cry but he did that day. For the first time ever, he used every power that he’s ever had to get out of that show and onto a plane and home to his girls, as he called them.
If the world didn’t know at that point that she was special to him, they figured it out right then. Not only did she have a ring on her finger by the end of that week, but also we found out that she was pregnant with baby Mason. Everything happened very quickly after that, and now… she’s so much a part of all of us that we can’t imagine what it was like without her anymore.
‘Well… I’ve been doing the same things I always do. Wake up and survive everyday. I work and go to meetings.” I respond to those two just in time for Sierra to hop into the room, thankfully stealing the spotlight.
‘Uncle Jon… Mama and I have been practicing a new song. Want to hear it?” She asks. Everyone cheers for her to sing as Garrett goes to the other room to get the guitar. This little girl will clearly be a performer. She has music in her soul and fortunately she sings like an angel, just like her mama.
When Garrett sits down on the barstool and starts strumming the chords, Sierra stands close to him and taps her foot in rhythm. Alexis is not much of a performer but gladly sings along with Mason in her arms just a little farther away. She wouldn’t dream of stealing the spotlight from Sierra.
When the little peanut starts belting out the lyrics of ‘A Life That is Good’ By Lennon & Maisy, my heart swells with pride. Because this little one could have anything in the world she wants, but her mama and daddy are raising her to appreciate all that she has, and that the people in her life are always more important than things.
When her little show concludes everyone is quick to their feet to applaud and Garrett is full of smiles. The fact that this little foursome has only been together for just over a year is shocking; what’s more surprising is the interesting roads they have traveled in life to be together. It gives me hope that someday, things could be different for me. Maybe I will have someone too.
As Elizabeth and James are escaping
with Sierra to take her to the movies and for a sleepover at their house, Alexis is setting the table for the three of us to have dinner that Elizabeth brought over. Alexis does cook sometimes, but Elizabeth loves to bring over dinner as often as possible and no one ever complains about that. Elizabeth can throw down in the kitchen.
When we sit to eat I’m a bit uncomfortable and not really sure that I’m ready to be under the intense questioning that’s coming my way, but I’d rather get it over with so I start us off.
“Alexis, I know you’re pissed about me bringing Kelly, but let me explain what happened.”
Whitney
I like to feel as though I have complete control of everything in my life and in most cases I do, but Jon somehow makes me feel as though I’m losing control over my emotions. I walk to the cabinet looking at my assortment of wineglasses that I’ve enjoyed collecting over the years. Some are painted, some are crystal, some are colorful glass, but they are all beautiful. I giggle when I see the set of glasses that Alexis bought for me recently, one that says ‘YES’ all over and one that says ‘NO’. I immediately choose the glass that says ‘No’ and giggle as I pour myself a glass of pinot noir.
I sit on the couch with my laptop forging through Facebook and twitter hoping anything will distract me from my thoughts of Jon and his girlfriend. I’m not really sure why I even care. I told him no. Ha ha… no… I look at my wine glass and giggle to myself again as I take another big swig. I’m definitely feeling a little light and brave when I pick up my phone and decide to send him a text. I peck out the message.
Whit: So… Did you have a nice day with your girlfriend?
SEND. Um… Oh Shit… shit… shit. What exactly am I thinking? I throw my phone to the other end of the couch trying not to care that it slid in between the cushions at the far end.
When I hear the chime of a text seconds later I attempt to convince myself that it wasn’t a reply from him, but in my heart, I know it is. I sit up and reach for my phone almost afraid to look. But I see immediately that it’s definitely from him…