by Mark Roeder
We both started out with big plates full of fried chicken, mashed potatoes, meatballs, shrimp, and everything else we could fit on them. We ate and talked and ate some more. Casper didn’t realize it, but I made sure we ate whenever he was with me. He hadn’t come right out and said it, but I knew he didn’t get much at home. I couldn’t imagine anyone having to live like that. It was unthinkable that some people went to bed hungry, while others had plenty. It pained me to think of Casper going without.
“You really shouldn’t keep taking me out all the time,” said Casper. “Why not? Have another boyfriend hidden away somewhere?” I said quietly and smiled. “No, it’s just that you always pay for everything and I can’t. It makes me feel bad.”
“Hey, I like taking you places. It’s sure a lot more fun than going alone. And don’t feel bad about me paying. My family has a shit-load of money. They’ve always had it. They just keep passing it down from one generation to another. You know what I do for my money?”
“No, what?”
“Not a damn thing. So don’t feel bad about it. I know you’d pay if you could. If our situations were just the opposite, I wouldn’t feel bad about you paying at all. And besides, what you give me is worth a lot more than any old money.”
“What do I give you?”
“You’re the best friend I’ve ever had Casper, and you’re more than that. I wished for you all my life and here you are. You’re my dream come true.”
Casper blushed and I could feel my own face going red. I felt kind of corny saying that, but I meant it with all my heart. He was the boy of my dreams.
“I’m ready for some more!” I said. “Let’s bankrupt this place! We’ll just keep eating until they run out of money buying food for us.” Casper thought that was funny. I loved to see him laugh.
When we returned to our seats, a few of the guys from my team walked in. They came over and talked to us for a little bit. I was somewhat uncomfortable with my team-mates there. Casper and I spent a lot of time together at school and I didn’t really like anyone seeing us together outside of school more than was necessary. I was keenly aware of what could happen if my friends and team-mates started getting suspicious. My one great fear was being outed.
“What’s wrong?” asked Casper. He could read my thoughts on my face.
“Just me being stupid,” I said. “I’ll tell you later when we’re alone.”
* * *
We hopped in the car and drove away. I was so full I was about to burst. “So what was wrong in there?” asked Casper. His beautiful young face was etched with concern.
“I just get worried sometimes. I’m afraid someone will find out about us. I’m afraid the guys will find out I’m gay.”
“Oh, that would be bad I guess.”
Mark A. Roeder 111 “There’s no guessing to it, Casper. I’d lose everything. You think they’d let me be captain of the football team if they knew I was gay? They’d kick my ass out as soon as they found out about me. Hell, I’d probably get kicked off the team.”
“Oh they wouldn’t!” “I bet they would. People are like that. They don’t understand. They think all this weird shit about us gay guys.”
“It’ll be okay, Brendan. No one is going to find out.” Casper looked very thoughtful.
“What is it, Casper?”
“Well, this might not be the best time, but maybe I’d better tell you. My brother suspects something is up between us.”
“Like what?”
“He doesn’t know, but he said there must be some reason you’re being nice to me and sticking up for me. He said he’s going to find out what it is.”
“Shit, we’re really going to have to be careful.”
“Yeah, my brother is dangerous. I don’t think there’s much he wouldn’t do.”
“Well, we’ll handle him. We’re going to stick together no matter what.”
“You really mean that, right?”
“Of course I do. Why?”
“Well, Jason said you’d get tired of me pretty soon. He said you’d dump me and then he’d make me pay for everything.”
“That’s never going to happen, Casper, never! I love you.”
“I love you too, Brendan.” Casper smiled at me, but I could read a mix of fear and relief on his handsome face. He had a lot bearing down on his young shoulders.
“Hey, we’ll always be together, Casper, always. Don’t let anyone tell you any different, especially your brother. He’s just trying to scare you.”
Casper nodded and I could tell he felt better.
“After we’ve driven around a bit, what do you say we go to my house and I’ll start teaching you about lifting weights.”
“Sure, if you think that’s okay.”
“Of course it’s okay.”
“Your parents won’t mind?”
“Of course not. They probably won’t even be there. They won’t care if they are anyway. I have friends over all the time.”
“Cool.”
“I have someplace I want to stop before we head home,” I said. “Where?”
“You’ll see.”
A short time later I pulled up in front of Anthony’s Squire Shop. It was a clothing store. I took Casper in.
“What do you think of this?” I asked, holding up a shirt that I thought would look really hot on Casper.
“I think you’d look good in that,” he said.
“It’s not for me silly, it’s for you.”
“For me?”
“Yeah, I’m going to buy you some new clothes.”
“That’s really nice of you, Brendan, but you shouldn’t.”
“Shhhh,” I said. “No arguing. I’m bigger than you remember. Don ‘t make me have to rough you up.” I smiled. Casper smiled too.
I could tell he was a little uncomfortable that I was buying him things, but I made it clear that I wanted to do it. Casper resigned himself to the situation. I picked him out several nice shirts, some jeans, and lots of boxers and socks. I would have let him pick out what he wanted, but he was too shy and reluctant to do so. I was sure he’d like what I picked out anyway. Casper’s eyes just about popped out of his head when the cashier told me the total, it was a little over $700.
“I can’t believe you just spent that much money on me,” said Casper, as we got back into my convertible.
“Don’t worry about it. My dad probably made more money than that during the time we were in there.” I wasn’t bragging, I was just letting Casper know that the money meant nothing to me. Money wasn’t important, Casper was.
Casper
Brendan and I pulled up to his house in his fancy convertible. I’d only seen pictures of houses like that in magazines. I couldn’t imagine actually living in one. I knew Brendan’s family had money, but I had no idea how much. They were beyond rich.
Brendan led me inside. The first thing I noticed was how clean everything was. There wasn’t a bit of dust anywhere to be found. The floors were covered with thick, comfy carpeting, and everything was so beautiful.
I followed Brendan back to where he kept his weight machine. I looked around wide-eyed. It was a whole workout room. There wasn’t one machine, but several. There was an exercise bike and other machines I didn’t even recognize. Brendan had more different kinds of machines than the school gym.
“I need to change, so do you. You can wear these.” Brendan tossed me a pair of shorts. He pulled off his clothes right in front of me, stripping down to his boxers before pulling on a pair of soccer shorts. He kept his shirt off and he looked so fine. Looking at his bare chest, with all of its muscles, made me breathe funny.
I slipped out of my old jeans and put on the shorts. I kept my shirt on. I felt more than a little self conscious. I also wasn’t keen on Brendan seeing my bruises. He knew Jason had beaten me, but I didn’t want another conversation about it starting up.
“Okay, let’s get started. When I’m done with you, you’re going to be buff.” “I doubt that,” I said laughing.
“I don’t,” he said. I could tell he wasn’t kidding.
“We’ll start with the bench press. It works the muscles of your chest. Watch
me do it, and then you can try.”
113 Brendan lay back on the bench and grabbed the handles of the machine. He pushed the handles up and a big stack of weights rose in the air. I could see all the muscles in his chest and arms flex. Brendan was beautiful. He was so built. I couldn’t help but drool over him. He lowered the weights back down, and then pushed them up again. He did it ten times in all, and then stopped.
“Okay, it’s your turn.”
“I can’t do that! It’s too heavy!”
“You’re not going to do the same weight I use. I’ve worked out for a long
time. You can’t expect to lift what I do, at least not until later.” Brendan pulled a peg from the weight stack and moved it up several weight plates.
“Here, try this weight. If it’s too much of a strain tell me and we’ll lower it.”
I lay back on the bench and grabbed the handles just like I’d seen Brendan do. I pushed up hard and was surprised when the weights lifted off the stack. I could feel the muscles in my chest and arms flexing. I liked it. It made me feel good. I pushed the weight up all the way until my arms were fully extended, then I lowered the weight back down. I did it ten times, just like Brendan.
“How was that?”
“That was great!” I said.
“Like the way it feels, don’t you?”
“Yeah. The last three times were kinda hard, but I could do it!”
“I told you. Most guys think you have to strain your guts out to lift weights, but you don’t. You just use the weight you can handle. I usually do three sets of each exercise, but we’ll start you out with just one. Next time you can do two sets, then three after that.”
Brendan showed me how to do lats, butterflies, ab crunches, barbell curls, and dumbbell curls. While he was doing it, he explained weight lifting to me.
“I always work out three times a week and always allow for a full day of rest between workouts. So like if I work out on Monday, I don’t Tuesday.”
“Why not?”
“Because of the way the body builds muscle. You see, when you lift weights, you aren’t building muscle, you’re straining the muscles you already have. That makes them grow. The first thing your body does is repair any damage you’ve done.”
“Damage?”
“Yeah, there’s usually a little damage, but not much. It’s nothing to worry about. Anyway, after repairing the damage, your body adds on new muscle. It builds you up so you can handle the weight you are lifting. After that it needs to rest. It takes more than twenty-four hours to do all that, so I always rest a full day in between workouts. Some guys work out every day, but you actually put on muscle faster if you don’t. It sounds like it doesn’t make sense, but it does when you know how muscle is built.”
“Okay, got it,” I said.
“The next important thing is how much weight you use. It should be heavy enough to strain the muscles, but not too heavy. If you are straining your guts out, you’re using too much weight. If it’s too easy, you need more. After you’ve worked out for a while the weight you are using will get easy to lift, so then you lift more weight and your body keeps getting stronger. The idea is to keep straining the muscles a little so your body will keep adding on more muscle.”
I really liked all the different exercises Brendan showed me. I don’t think I’d ever felt so good before. I had my doubts about what I could do, however.
“You really think I can work out like you? I mean, look at me.”
“Sure I do. Here, take a look at this.” Brendan took a notebook off a table and showed me a photo taped to the inside of the front cover.
“That’s me four years ago, when I started lifting weights.”
“That’s you?” I asked.
“Yeah, kind of skinny, huh?”
“You look almost as skinny as me!”
“And look at me now,” he said. “I wasn’t born looking like this. I started working out and I stuck with it. I know you can do it, Casper. I did.” Brendan started laughing. “I sound really hung up on myself don’t I?”
“Nah, you’re just explaining things to me. Anyway, you sure look good.” I smiled at him. Maybe I really could do it. I sure liked the idea of being built like Brendan some day.
After our workout, Brendan led me out to the hot tub. I’d never even seen one before. I blushed when Brendan stripped completely naked and got in. I didn’t fail to check him out, however. I couldn’t help myself. Brendan saw me look and he just smiled.
“It’s best if you strip. Be careful. It’s not called a hot tub for nothing.” I pulled off my shirt, feeling a little self-conscious. I felt stronger after my workout, however. Brendan’s eyes fell on my bruises, but he didn’t say anything. I was afraid he would, but he didn’t. I guess he knew I was uncomfortable talking about the things that had happened with my brother. Brendan had taken care of the situation, so maybe he didn’t feel that he needed to ask about the bruises.
I turned red as a beet when I pulled off my shorts and briefs. I’d never gotten naked in front of Brendan before. He looked me over and smiled when I looked back at him. I blushed even more. I slipped into the water.
“It’s hot!” I said.
“Told you.”
The hot water felt really good on my tired muscles. The workout had worn
me out and made me feel kind of tense.
“This will help you feel less sore tomorrow. You’ll probably feel a little sore
anyway, since this was your first workout, but pretty soon you won’t be sore at
all.”
We sat across from each other, with our arms over the sides of the hot tub.
I was thinking to myself how gorgeous Brendan was when I felt his foot running up my leg. He rubbed my leg and kept going higher and higher until he
was nearly touching my groin. I got excited. I was glad he couldn’t see my
lower half clearly through the water. The way he grinned I think he knew what
he was doing. I slid my foot up his leg too. From the look on Brendan’s face, he
liked it.
Sitting there naked in the hot tub with Brendan brought thoughts to my
mind that I’d long suppressed. We’d kissed a few times, but we hadn’t done
anything more than that. I think Brendan was taking things real slow with me
because of what my brother had done to me. I was glad because it was kind of
scary. I knew it would be different with Brendan than it was with my brother.
Brendan wouldn’t hurt me. His concern for me was obvious. I had a feeling he
wanted to do a lot more with me than just kiss, but he was waiting patiently
until I was ready.
I was getting pretty ready. I was having warm fuzzy thoughts about putting
my hands on Brendan’s body, and about having his hands on mine. I edged
closer to Brendan until our shoulders were touching. Feeling his muscular
arm pressed up against mine filled me with desire. I turned and looked into
Brendan’s eyes. He leaned down, ever so slowly, and pressed his lips to mine.
He kissed me and I melted.
We broke our kiss and sat there gazing at each other. I cautiously reached
out, stretching my fingers toward his chest. Brendan’s chest was tanned and
smooth. My fingers brushed it. His smooth, silky skin was such a contrast to
the hard muscle underneath. I ran my hands over his pectoral muscles, feeling the power in his chest. It was as if Brendan’s masculinity were kept there. Gay boys were supposed to be soft and effeminate, but Brendan was about as far away from that as it was possible to get. It was Brendan that made it possible for me to admit to myself that I was gay. Well, I already knew I was gay, but Brendan made me feel that it wa
sn’t a bad thing. Brendan made it possible for
me to accept what I was. If a boy like him was gay, then it couldn’t be bad at all. I sat there by Brendan for the longest time, just running my hands over his
chest, his shoulders, and his arms. He just sat there and let me touch him
wherever I wanted. After quite a long time, Brendan reached out and put his
hand on my shoulder. He did it ever so slowly and gently, like I was a wild animal that he didn’t want to frighten. He moved his hand slowly to my chest. I
tensed, but willed myself to relax. I reminded myself that there was nothing to
fear. Brendan loved me and I loved him. He’d never hurt me.
Brendan ran his hands over my chest. It felt good to be touched like that.
The fact that it was another boy touching me made it that much more intense.
I was trembling, but it wasn’t from fear, it was from pure joy.
Brendan stood and pulled me up with him. We stepped out of the hot tub
and gazed at each other. For the first time ever, I didn’t feel awkward or selfconscious about being naked in front of someone else. I knew that Brendan
accepted me just as I was.
I placed my hands on his chest again as he kissed me. I let them trail lower
until my fingers traced the hard rows of Brendan’s abdominal muscles.
Brendan placed his hands over mine and guided them lower. I drew in a sharp
intake of breath as I felt his hardness. Brendan pulled his hands away, but mine
stayed.
Brendan slowly moved his hands down my body until he was touching me
in the same way I was him. His touch was exquisite and maddening at the
same time. Our breath grew rapid and our hearts pounded in our chests. I
wanted the feeling to last forever, but it was not possible. My entire body shivered as I experienced the most intense pleasure of my young life. Brendan’s
beautifully muscled form tensed and flexed as he too experienced the ultimate