by Mark Roeder
“Brendan, could we stay here?”
“What, in the graveyard? Want to keep Mark and Taylor here company?” “Funny. You know what I mean. Stay here in this town, like we did in Purity
before. I’ll go anywhere you want, of course, but I’d like to find a place to settle down. I’m getting tired of just walking all day, every day.” I was getting tired. In the last few weeks we’d covered well over two hundred miles.
“I know what you mean. Our funds are getting kind of short too. Tell you what, let’s stay here and rest up; then, when it’s late enough that school has let out, we’ll walk into town and see what we can find.”
We finished our lunch, then lay down side by side and took a nap. It felt good to rest in the shade of the big cedar trees.
I had a dream as I lay there, although I couldn’t remember much about it later on. It was a dream about Brendan and me, and yet it wasn’t about us. There was a boy with dark hair, very handsome, but not Brendan. There was a blond boy too, but he wasn’t me. He was taller and had very long hair. He was so beautiful he seemed like an angel. They were looking at us as we slept, and they were smiling. I felt very safe. They took each other by the hand and then just kind of faded away.
When I awoke, it felt like no time at all had passed, but it was nearing four in the afternoon. It was safe for us to walk into town. We left the graveyard and followed a street into the heart of Verona. It was a nice little town, with just a few restaurants and shops, not too big, but big enough to have something to offer. Everyone was really friendly and said “hi” to us as we passed. I thought to myself that it was the kind of place I’d like to live.
We didn’t pass a single “help wanted” sign, so Brendan went into the drugstore and bought a copy of the Verona Citizen. There wasn’t much to it. The front page story was about the local baseball team defeating their long time rivals. There wasn’t much to the classifieds either, but one ad immediately caught Brendan’s eyes.
“Here, listen to this,” he said. “Help Wanted: Looking to hire strong, dependable man to help with spring planting and other farm work. Room and board provided, plus small wages. Possibly a year round position. Apply in person at the Selby farm.”
“Sounds pretty good,” I said, “but it does say “man” and they’re only wanting one person.”
“Yeah, but I bet I could do it. It couldn’t be that tough. Maybe we could both get hired. There’s got to be stuff both of us could help with on a farm. We ought to at least check it out. If we can’t get it, or decide we don’t want it, we won’t be any worse off than we are now.”
“That’s true,” I said. “So let’s do it.” It didn’t take us long to find out where the Selby farm was located. The very first person we asked was able to give us directions. The farm was located not too far outside of town and we walked there in a matter of minutes.
We passed a mailbox reading Selby and followed a long drive up to a big, white farmhouse. Not far beyond it was a huge barn and all kinds of farm buildings. Fields stretched out for miles in every direction.
Brendan knocked on the door and an old, somewhat gruff looking man answered. My hopes fell. I knew that old guy would never hire us. He looked like the no nonsense, all business type. There was no doubt he was a farmer. He was wearing overalls and looked like he’d just come in from the fields.
“We, uh, came about the ad?” said Brendan. The old man looked at us as if he was thinking of sending us away. Instead, he smiled ever so slightly and invited us in.
He showed us inside to a big living room, with a television in one corner, a sofa along one wall, and a couple of big recliners. It was nothing fancy, but it was homey and comfortable.
“Hey Jack, did you…” A boy who looked not more than fifteen entered the room and fell silent when he saw us. He was blond and just about as slim as me.
“They’ve come about the ad,” said Jack in explanation.
“Oh, yeah, right.”
The boy looked at us somewhat perplexed as well, as if we couldn’t possibly be there looking for farm work. I don’t know if it was our age, or that we probably didn’t look like farmers in the least. He seemed a touch uncomfortable, but was friendly enough. He stood in the doorway for a few moments looking at us until he remembered why he was there.
“Jack, Ethan wants to know if you fixed the radiator on the tractor. He wants to get in some plowing before supper.”
“Yeah, I got it patched up again. Tell him to go at it.”
The boy was gone as quickly as he came.
“I’m Jack, as I guess you’ve figured out.”
“Brendan.”
“Casper.”
“So, you boys came about the job?”
“Yes sir,” said Brendan.
“I was really looking for someone a bit more mature. I don’t suppose you have any experience with farm work?”
“No sir, we don’t,” said Brendan.
The old man looked at us appraisingly. It made me extremely uncomfortable and Brendan too. I knew we were being sized up.
“I guess maybe we’re wasting your time,” said Brendan, getting up. I got up too.
“Sit down, boy. I’ll tell you if you’re wasting my time.”
Brendan sat back down quickly, as did I. The old man had a commanding tone that made me do what he said automatically.
“We’ve just added a whole lot of new acreage to the farm, and me and the boys could just barely keep up with what we had. Spring planting is coming up fast and we either need to hire help, or let all our new acreage lie fallow. I’d much rather get it planted. Wheat should bring a good price this year. I’ve also got a mind to start raising sheep, in addition to our cattle.”
“Both Casper and I are looking for work,” said Brendan. “We aren’t experienced with farm work, but I’m sure we can pick it up fast and we’ll both work hard. We really need a job and a place to stay. You won’t be sorry if you take us on.”
Brendan seemed to have found the courage to talk with the old man. I think the old guy was impressed by it.
“You are awfully young, both of you,” said Jack.
“I’m seventeen, Casper here is fifteen.” Brendan looked a bit frightened.
“So you need a place to stay? What about your parents?”
I knew this question was coming and wasn’t looking forward to it at all. Brendan didn’t answer.
“My parents are dead,” I said. My mom died when I was little and my dad just died a few months ago.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” said Jack. He looked back at Brendan.
“You a runaway son?” Brendan looked as uncomfortable as I’d ever seen him. I waited to see what he would say, and if he’d make up a story or not.
“Yes, sir. I had to run away. I promise that I didn’t do anything bad though.”
“Well boy, I’m not one to pry into anyone’s personal business, but if I’m going to take you boys on here, I need to know what I’m up against. Both of you are underage and that can create a whole heap of trouble. I’ll take you at your word, but I expect you to be honest with me. If I find out you aren’t, you’ll be out of here fast. I don’t put up with liars. I’m not calling you one either, I’m just letting you know how it is.”
The old man was definitely the straightforward type. I was afraid of what was going to happen next, but his words gave me hope. He made it sound as if we at least had a shot at staying. I looked at Brendan. He was so scared he was practically shaking.
“Okay, the truth. Just one thing, though. Promise me you won’t turn us in. I swear we haven’t done anything illegal. If you don’t want to hire us, that’s fine. Just let us go on our way. Okay?”
“Fair enough.”
I could tell that Brendan was deciding if he could trust the old man or not. I could also tell he decided pretty quickly that he could.
“Well, uh, my parents had me committed to this hospital, right after they found out that I was, uh, gay.”
Brend
an looked at Jack fearfully, as if expecting him to order us both out of the house immediately.
“I’m beginning to wonder if any of you young boys like girls. We may be facing under population soon,” said Jack.
It seemed an odd thing to say and it made me wonder about a lot of things. I could tell it made Brendan wonder too.
“That hospital was a terrible place. You wouldn’t believe what they do to kids in there.”
Brendan went on explaining just what had gone on in that hospital. I listened very closely because he was telling a lot of things I’d never heard before. Brendan didn’t like to talk about what happened to him in there, so I never pressed him. He glanced at me now and then as he spoke. I could tell he was very uncomfortable.
The old man sat there and listened as Brendan poured his heart out. He told him everything about the hospital, how he broke out, about our travels and hardships. I was kind of surprised that he told him everything, but maybe he kind of needed to get it off his chest. Maybe he needed to tell it to an adult; even if it was someone we didn’t even know.
I began to grow afraid as Brendan went on. I could tell he was afraid too. He kept speaking faster and faster until the old man told him to slow down. I was scared of the look on Jack’s face. He looked very angry, like he didn’t approve at all of us running away. Finally Brendan finished and there was dead silence in the room.
“That really burns my ass,” said the old man. I feared he was getting ready to go off on Brendan and me and order us off his property.
“Some people would do anything to have children,” said Jack “and then others abuse theirs like that. You were right to run away son, you too,” he said, looking at me. “You should have gone to someone about it, however. You boys can’t handle something like this yourself and you can’t keep running forever.”
“Yes, sir,” said Brendan.
“I promised I wouldn’t turn you in and I certainly won’t. I’m a man of my word. A man isn’t anything if he doesn’t keep his word. You boys are going to have to deal with this situation, however, and sooner or later that’s going to mean confronting your parents.”
“I’ll be eighteen in just a couple of weeks,” said Brendan. “Once I turn eighteen they can’t put me back in that hospital.”
“True, true,” said Jack, “you’ll legally be an adult then. I guess the best thing may be for you to stay out of sight until your birthday.”
“Yes, sir.”
“You, however,” said Jack, looking at me, “you’re another matter entirely.”
“Sir?” I said.
I didn’t like having his attention focused on me. I felt like I was under a microscope or something. I was scared.
“Do you have any relatives?”
“Well, I have a brother and a grandmother on my dad’s side, but that’s it.”
“No aunts or uncles?”
“No sir. I just had one uncle, my mom’s brother, but he died before she did.”
“Where’s your grandmother?”
“She’s in Florida. I never saw her much. My dad didn’t get along with her, so I don’t know her very well.”
The old man looked like he was thinking very hard.
“You have to have a legal guardian, and your brother or grandmother would be the most likely to be granted that.”
“Not my brother, sir! Please!” Brendan had told Jack that Jason abused me, but he’d left out the gory details.
“Calm down, boy. I’m just telling you how it is. We can talk more about this later, but if you two are going to stay here, you’ll have to go to school. Brendan can enroll on his own, without his parent’s involvement, when he turns eighteen, but the school is going to want to know who has custody of you. If we don’t get that settled, social services could take you away and put you in a foster home. Most likely they will too.”
Tears welled up in my eyes and I started to cry.
“Maybe we should just go,” said Brendan.
“Don’t be dense, boy. You can’t keep running from your problems forever. We can work through all this. It will just take time.”
I stopped crying. It sounded a lot like we were going to get to stay.
“Now, about the job,” said Jack, “depending on what we can work out with your grandmother or brother, I don’t see any reason why I can’t at least give you boys a try.”
I smiled, and so did Brendan.
“You certainly look strong enough,” he said, looking at Brendan. He glanced at me for a moment and I know he was thinking I was puny. He didn’t say anything, however.
“The job doesn’t pay much in cash, but I’ll give you each a room here in the house, all the food you can eat, and say…$20 each a week for spending money. There are conditions, however. As soon as you turn eighteen Brendan, you will enroll in school.”
“Yes, sir.”
“And you, we’ll have to try and find your grandmother. We’ve got to get things straight with her.”
“I know her address, if she hasn’t moved. She sends me a Christmas card every year.”
“Good. We’ve got to get this whole custody thing settled right away. I know you don’t want to deal with it, but it’s got to be dealt with, and now. Understand?”
“Yes, sir.”
“So that’s the deal. Take it, or leave it.”
Brendan looked at me and I nodded.
“We’ll take it, sir,” said Brendan.
“Good, just don’t make me sorry. I’m running a farm, not a house for wayward boys, although sometimes I’m not so sure.”
I wondered what he meant by that.
“Yes, sir,” said Brendan.
“And one more thing, stop calling me sir. The name is Jack.” “Yes, sir, I mean Jack,” said Brendan.
When I looked at the clock, I was amazed to see how much time had passed. I didn’t realize Brendan had been talking so long, but I guess it shouldn’t have surprised me. He had a lot to tell.
Less than an hour later we sat down to the best supper we’d had in a long time. There was fried chicken, mashed potatoes, green beans, corn, bread, and even apple pie. An older boy came in before we started eating. He was the Ethan that Nathan had mentioned before. He looked to be about Brendan’s age and was powerfully built, as well as very handsome. He was very friendly and I liked him a lot. He didn’t look anything at all like Nathan however, so I wondered how they could be brothers. I found out later they weren’t. Jack didn’t have any kids. Ethan was his nephew and Nathan was working there kind of like Brendan and I would be. Jack’s comment about running a house for wayward boys began to make more sense. I wondered how Ethan had come to live with him, and even more about why Nathan was there.
A boy of about nine joined us and we soon learned that he was Nathan’s little brother, Dave. I would have immediately guessed it without being told since he looked like a smaller version of Nathan. He was a friendly little boy, and very lively. Jack had a whole house full of boys and not one of them was his own.
After supper, Nathan showed us to our rooms. We stopped in to look at Brendan’s first. It was big with windows looking out in two directions over the yard and fields around the house. Mine was right next to it and had a great view as well. It was light and airy and had an old double bed that looked very comfy.
“The bathroom is just down the hall,” said Nathan. “There’s only one, so we’ll have to share.”
“Not a problem,” I said.
“I’ll let you two get settled in, and then I’ll give you a tour of the house and show you where everything is. If you need me, I’ll be downstairs.”
Nathan left. Brendan and I checked out our rooms some more.
“It’s nice isn’t it,” I said, looking at his room.
“Yeah, and big. I hope this works out.”
“Yeah, me too. I guess we’ll see.”
“I wish we could share a room, and a bed,” said Brendan meaningfully. “Me too, but we better not push it.”
�
�Yeah. I’m not so sure what Jack would think about that. I don’t know what the others would, either. I think we’d better keep us being boyfriends a secret, at least for a while.”
“Well, we don’t want to lie.”
“I’m not talking about lying. I’m talking about not telling. If one of them asks, we’ll tell the truth, but if they don’t, there’s no need to volunteer it. Let’s scope things out before we tell anyone.”
It sounded like a good enough plan to me.
* * * That evening, Brendan and I sat on a wooden swing on the big front porch as the sun set. The sky was all oranges and purples over the empty fields. I felt like I was in that Robert Frost poem we’d read in English class, “Nothing Gold Can Stay.” We just sat there, and talked, and swung back and forth. It was beautiful.
For the first time in a long time, I felt safe. Our future was still uncertain, but yet it didn’t seem so uncertain anymore. I had a feeling deep down inside that everything was going to be okay. Somehow I just knew that we wouldn’t have to run anymore, that we’d be safe. I’m not sure why I felt that way. There was sure a lot of stuff to deal with, but I felt it all the same, and it felt good.
We were alone, Jack was out checking on a field, Ethan and Nathan were working in the barn, and Dave was inside doing his homework. I took Brendan’s hand in mine and held it as we swung. A gentle breeze brought the scent of new mown grass and freshly tilled earth. In the distance I could hear insects I couldn’t name calling to one another, and frogs singing their song. I looked at Brendan and smiled. Our eyes locked, our lips met, and I kissed him, feeling all the love in our hearts. We drew back and smiled at one another again.
I knew that everything was going to be okay. There were troubles before us without doubt, but they didn’t seem so impossible to deal with anymore. Jack had a lot to do with that. I knew he was the kind of guy that got things done. I knew that he wouldn’t let anyone hurt us. I just felt safer with him around. We’d come to the farm looking for a job and a place to stay, but we’d found much more. We’d come to a better place.