by Mark Roeder
Part 2
Nathan
I looked toward the farmhouse and saw Casper and Brendan sitting together on the porch swing. I wondered what had brought them to our farm in the middle of nowhere. There was an edge to them, a certain tension or fear as if they were waiting on some unpleasant fate to befall them. And yet, there was a sense of relief about them too, as if they had been in great danger that had now passed. I was sure their story was an interesting one, and I hoped to hear it when they’d settled in a little.
“Can you help me with this for a minute?” asked Ethan. I picked up a wrench and held a bolt in place while Ethan tightened the nut on the other side. He was doing a few repairs to the plow that would soon be seeing heavy work. The light wasn’t the best inside the barn at night, but the bulb overhead illuminated the machinery enough that Ethan could work on it without difficulty.
Wuffa whinnied and I walked over to the partition that separated us and gave him a pat. Fairfax wasn’t about to be left out and came up for some attention too. I loved those horses and had even learned to ride them pretty well. I wasn’t an expert rider like Ethan, but then again I hadn’t been riding since I was eight.
The chickens were settling in for the night. I looked over and saw Henrietta, my little brother’s pet hen, situating herself on her nest with great care. She seemed almost like a little old lady adjusting the blankets on her bed just so. After a bit, she settled into the soft straw and lay her head back on her wing. She was one chicken that would never see the frying pan. Dave loved her more than anything. He had ever since Ethan had given her to him, before Dave and I had come to live on the farm.
I looked at Ethan and almost laughed. He had smudges of grease on his cheeks that looked almost like war paint. He was beautiful, even in the dim light of the barn. Sometimes I still couldn’t believe that he was my boyfriend. His looks were the least reason that I loved him, however. Ethan was good to me, and to Dave, and he loved me with all his heart. I knew that we had something special, something that most people searched their whole lives for without finding.
I picked up a clean rag and wiped off Ethan’s cheeks. He looked at me and smiled. He wrapped his strong arms around me and held me tight. That’s what I loved the most, just being held by him. It was wonderful when he kissed me, it was beyond description when we made love, but having Ethan hold me was the best of all. The feeling of loving, and being loved, is the greatest feeling that can ever be. I wished everyone could experience it.
Brendan
I woke up not quite sure where I was. I thought at first that I was sleeping outside under the stars with Casper, as we had done so often since leaving Purity. Then, for a few terrible moments, I feared that I was still back in the Cloverdale Center, trapped in that hellish nightmare of a hospital where they tried to turn gay boys straight. I relaxed as I looked around my unfamiliar room in the old farmhouse. Casper and I had arrived there only the afternoon before, but it was a safe place and I felt more secure than I had in a long time.
I looked beside me. There was no Casper. I felt a twinge of loneliness, but I knew he was in the very next room. He was probably sleeping peacefully for the first time in a long time. We’d had a long journey, weeks of running from my parents and the Cloverdale Center, weeks of trying to avoid being hunted down and put back in that horrible place. A cold chill ran through my body. Fear still touched my heart when I thought of the things they did to me in there.
I got up and opened up the closet. It didn’t take me long to chose what I wanted to wear. I had a grand total of three shirts, two pairs of jeans, a light jacket, and a heavy goose-down coat. The last was given to me as a Christmas present by Casper. I smiled when I remembered that I’d picked out the very same thing for him.
Before dressing I took a look at myself in the mirror. I was out of shape. I’d lost too much weight and I’d lost my muscle tone too. I hadn’t worked out in months, and it had been equally long since I’d been through a football practice. The drugs they pumped into me at the Cloverdale Center probably weren’t any good for my body either.
I flexed my muscles. I wasn’t in the best of shape, but the muscles I’d built up from lifting weights and playing football were still there. Muscles didn’t go away in a few months time. I was sure I’d get my muscle tone back fast enough, farm work was sure to be as strenuous as working out.
I pulled on my clothes and wondered how Casper and I would do as farm boys. One thing was for sure, I was going to do the best job I could. I knew that Jack was really going to a lot of trouble to take us on. We were strangers, but he’d taken us in like lost puppies. Most people would have sent us on our way, but not him. I’d told him our whole story when he pressed me for it and I wasn’t sorry in the least. Casper and I had our first real chance to take care of our troubles because of Jack. I wasn’t about to let him down.
I pulled on my shoes, and then looked in on Casper. He was still sleeping, looking like a little blond angel as he lay there in his bed. He was far too thin. He’d always been thin, but weeks of hard travel had taken its toll. We’d sure get enough to eat while living at the Selby farm, however. That was part of our pay for working there, all the food we could eat, as well as a place to stay and $20 a week. After what we’d been through, it was a dream come true.
I walked downstairs to find Nathan frying eggs and bacon. It smelled so good. My stomach rumbled.
“Hey there, um, Brendan, right?”
“Yeah, Brendan.”
“I keep getting confused and can’t remember if it’s Brandon or Brendan, but I’ll get it down I promise.” Nathan smiled and it made me feel right at home.
“So where is everybody?”
“Uncle Jack and Ethan are out getting a few things ready for today. They want to get started plowing.”
“Should I go help?” I asked. Casper and I had been hired as farm hands and I wanted to make a good impression from the start.
“No, they’ll be coming in soon. Jack said to let you sleep in since you looked like you needed it. We usually get up earlier around here, but it’s Saturday, so we don’t get up until eight or so,” said Nathan.
“Do you mind me asking you something? I mean, I don’t want to be nosy, but I was wondering about you and Ethan.”
“What about us?” Nathan looked slightly uncomfortable as he sat a kettle on the stove.
“I was wondering how you both came to live here. I thought Ethan was Jack’s son at first, but then Jack said he didn’t have any kids.”
“Oh that,” said Nathan. “You mind setting the table? Most of the stuff ’s in that big step-back cupboard over there.”
“Glad to help,” I said. As I pulled out plates and forks and knives, Nathan talked.
“Ethan’s parents were killed in a car wreck when he was little. He didn’t have any other family, so Jack took him in. Jack’s his uncle. I think Ethan’s more like a son than a nephew, however. Jack was married, but he never had any kids and I think he really feels kinda bad about that.
“I’ve only been here a few months. I started in last year. At first, I just worked some after school, and on Saturday’s, but then things got pretty rough at home and Ethan got Jack to let Dave and me come and live here.”
“Don’t your parents mind?”
“No, our parents don’t care about us much. I don’t really want to talk about it, but they weren’t very good to us at all.”
I didn’t press him for more. I had no doubt we were getting into a touchy area. I had a few things I didn’t like to talk about myself. Nathan looked at me with a question in his eyes. He paused, as if considering if he should ask what was on his mind.
“What’s your and Casper’s story? How did you come to end up here in Verona? I mean, this is the middle of nowhere.”
“Well, that’s a really long story, but it’s kind of like yours. I had to leave home because of my parents. They weren’t too good to me either. Casper had a lot of trouble at home too, more than me. His mom die
d a long time ago and his dad never paid much attention to him. His older brother beat on him a lot. We left right after his dad died. I needed to get away from my parents and Casper needed to get away from his brother.”
I wasn’t telling Nathan the whole truth, but I told him enough of it to explain why we were there. I wasn’t lying either, I was just leaving out a lot of details that I wasn’t ready to talk about yet. I didn’t want to talk about why I’d had to escape from my parents. I wasn’t at all sure what Nathan or Ethan would think if they knew I was gay. I wasn’t sure what they’d think if they knew that Casper was my boyfriend either. I could just picture them freaking out about it. Jack knew that I was gay, I had to tell him to explain why I’d run away. He seemed pretty understanding, but I wasn’t sure how comfortable he was with it. Jack didn’t know that Casper was my boyfriend. I’d left out that little detail.
Casper came into the kitchen just then and helped me finish setting everything out for breakfast. It was a good thing the old kitchen table had extra leaves, because there were six of us all together. Casper and I helped Nathan finish getting breakfast ready while we talked. I really liked Nathan; he was friendly, good natured, and funny too.
It wasn’t long before Jack and Ethan came in. They washed up and we all sat down at the table.
“If you don’t get down here I’d giving your breakfast to the dogs,” yelled Nathan. A very short time later, his little brother Dave came running downstairs and into the kitchen. He plopped down in a chair and helped himself to some biscuits and gravy.
“Just grab whatever you want,” said Jack. “We all serve ourselves here. Don’t be shy.”
Casper and I looked at each other for a moment, and then dug in. I reached for some bacon and some of that biscuits and gravy. I took a few bites.
“This is so good!” I said.
“Yeah, it’s even better than your cooking,” said Casper, looking at me.
“You do a lot of cooking?” asked Ethan. I looked at him. Ethan was very handsome, and strong. He was built even better than me. He had muscles bulging out everywhere.
“Yeah, Casper and I worked in a little diner for a few months. I learned how to fix everything on the menu. Casper got pretty good at it too.”
“Good, we could use some more cooks around here,” said Nathan. “I’ve been doing most of it. Ethan isn’t the best at it, and Jack, well…let’s just say he could burn cereal.” Nathan and Ethan laughed, so did Casper and I.
“Watch yourself, boy!” said Jack, but the crinkles in his eyes got very close to indicating a smile. He wasn’t quite as gruff as he pretended to be.
The laughter and pleasant talk really made me feel at home. It was a good feeling, and one I hadn’t experienced in quite a long time. I looked at Casper. I could tell that he could feel it too.
“So what are we doing today?” I asked. “Nathan said you’re getting ready to start plowing?”
“You’re eager enough,” said Jack.
“I just want to get at it. I really appreciate you taking us on and I don’t want to let you down.”
Ethan bent his head down and encircled the end of his nose with his fist, silently calling me a brown-noser. It was all in fun though, his smile made that clear. He knocked it off before Jack had a chance to see him.
“You’ll be helping Ethan this morning. I have a few things to talk over with Casper, and then Nathan is going to show him the ropes.”
“Yeah, today I teach you how to drive a tractor city-boy, think you’re up to it?” asked Ethan.
“What makes you think I’m a city-boy?”
“You’re from the city, right?”
“More like a small town.”
“Same thing.”
“Well anyway, I’m up to it. You’ll see.” I was a little apprehensive. I wasn’t so sure I was as up to the task as I claimed, but I was excited none-the-less. The farm was a whole new world to me.
We finished up breakfast, and then Ethan and I headed out for the barn. Casper stayed behind to help Nathan clean up, and to have a talk with Jack.
Nathan
After breakfast, Casper helped me to clear the table and clean up the breakfast mess. I was glad to have the help. I was accustomed to doing it myself and it went a lot faster with two of us. I’d known Casper less than a day, but I already liked him, Brendan too for that matter. I was glad Jack had hired them to help out with the farm and I was glad they’d be living with us. I knew it would complicate things between Ethan and me, but I also knew we’d manage to find plenty of time to be alone.
Casper looked a little like me. He had the same blond hair and slim build. He was even thinner than I was which was surprising. He was just a bit shorter too. He looked very frail and I wondered if he was up to farm work. I figured he could do it, if I could. I’d put on some muscle in the months I’d been working on the farm, but I was nearly as puny looking as Casper when I’d started.
Jack sat at the table and had another cup of coffee as Casper and I cleaned up. He was usually out the door as soon as breakfast was finished, but I knew he had things to discuss with Casper.
“So boy, you say your brother and grandmother are your only relations?” “Yes,” answered Casper nervously. I could tell Jack intimidated him a little. That didn’t surprise me. Jack had a heart of gold, but he could be as intimidating as hell until you got to know him. He could be pretty frightening at times even when you knew him well.
“And you don’t think we should try to contact your brother?”
“No, absolutely not. He’s horrible. He did really bad things to me. He hurt me. I don’t want anything to do with him.”
Jack looked as if he were going to ask about the things Casper’s brother had done, then thought better of it. I was curious as well. The fear in Casper’s voice
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and eyes spoke volumes. I could tell he was holding back, as if what had happened was too terrible to even say out loud. “So that leaves us with your grandmother. You understand I have to contact her? We have to get things settled or there is no way social services will allow you to stay here.”
“I understand.”
“Can you write her address down for me?”
“Sure,” said Casper.
I dug out a scrap of paper and a pencil and handed it to Casper. He scribbled his grandmother’s address and gave it to Jack.
“I don’t really know how all this works, but I’ll find out, and I’ll get a hold of your grandmother. I can’t make promises, but we’ll see what we can do. Now if you two are finished in here, there’s lots of work to be done outside.”
“Come on,” I said, “I’ll show you some of the chores we do here every day. You’ll be taking care of a lot of them.”
I took Casper out to the barn. His eyes roamed everywhere and especially over the chickens wandering in and out of the barn.
“My brother takes care of gathering the eggs every morning, so you don’t have to worry about that. There’s lots of other stuff to do, however.”
I led Casper around as I checked the water troughs, making sure the cattle, horses, and goats had plenty to drink. Casper helped me dump feed into the feed troughs.
“The horses and cattle do a lot of grazing, but we still need to feed them some, even at this time of year. In the winter we feed them a lot more, but there’s plenty for them to eat in the pastures now. The goats pretty much take care of themselves. They’ll eat about anything.”
For the next hour, I showed Casper around the farm and pointed out all the little tasks that needed done every morning. I could tell Casper was surprised that there was so much to do. It was obvious he’d never been on a farm before. He looked around like he was on some kind of school field trip or something.
There was a lot to show him. I took him around to the outbuildings and sheds. He seemed especially interested in the silos for storing corn, wheat, and soy beans. They were empty now, but would be as full as could be after the harvest.
We
walked back toward the house and I showed Casper the garden. His eyes grew wide when he saw how big it was. I’d already tilled some of it with the old garden tiller and set a few tomato plants, but I was really just getting started. Practically the entire garden was bare. I led Casper to the little shed near the garden and showed him the worktable where I had all kinds of packets and bags of seeds laid out.
“I tilled some of the garden yesterday after school. You can start planting the green beans, peas, cabbage, and carrots. It’s just starting to get warm enough to plant those. We’ll have to wait before we can plant some other stuff, but it won’t be long now.”
We grabbed up seeds and I showed Casper how to hoe a straight row and how far apart and deep the seeds had to be.
“If you forget, just read on the packages and they usually tell you what you need to know,” I said.
I left Casper to himself. He smiled as he started to work. I could tell he genuinely liked working in the garden. I rather enjoyed it myself. I walked into the shed and wheeled out the old garden tiller. I started it up with a few tugs on the rope and began tilling up the earth where it hadn’t been worked yet. The tiller was loud and drowned out the sound of the tractor that Brendan and Ethan were riding in the near distance. The sun was warm overhead and it felt good on my back. The farm was peaceful, even with the tiller running loud and giving out a small cloud of smoke. There was something about being on the farm that I loved. It just made me feel at peace. I looked over at Casper and had little doubt that he shared my feelings. I was glad to have him there. It made me feel good to show him the ropes, just as Ethan had shown me when I was the new boy on the farm.
Brendan
I stood behind Ethan on the tractor, gripping the seat as if I were hanging onto the edge of a cliff. I was just sure I was going to fall off and be cut to bits by the plow behind us. The old Ford tractor chugged on as we finished our first pass in the field to the north of the house. Ethan turned the steering wheel hard and brought the tractor around for the second pass. The muscles in his arms and shoulders flexed with the effort. I tried to pay attention to everything Ethan told me, but he was shirtless and his muscular body was distracting. He had a beautiful build.