Lizzie's List

by Melling, Diane

  “Thanks mum. That’s really kind,” I reply hastily shoving them into my bulging bag.

  “It is a lovely set–shame only you’ll see it – maybe I could set you up with one of Mark’s single friends. This is my set,” says Tabitha as she shows me a glimpse of her new underwear in her bag.

  What I find much more interesting in her bag rather than her underwear, is the latest copy of Heat magazine. As much as I did not want to see the underwear she will wear for my brother, I am ecstatic about seeing this. So you don’t like anything lowbrow Tabitha? Well I will keep this little gem of information stored in my memory for another time. “Bitch!” I say in my head, but NOT out loud and just smile thinking; Heat magazine, and also that there is no way I would ever go out with one of Mark’s friends.

  A few hours later, as I’m driving home in my mud splattered car, I feel pleased with completing an item from the list unexpectedly and also happy that my visit generally went well, with only a few annoying moments. Driving down the tree-lined lane to the village, I am greeted by my usual rush of contentment that fills me whenever I am home. I pull up near to The Tea Cosy and collect my bag which is now straining slightly from the weight of the jars. As I cross over the road towards The Tea Cosy, the handle on my bag snaps spilling various contents, mainly the large jars from the delicatessens. Ensuring my new underwear is quickly pushed back into the bag, I glance around to retrieve the jars from the road and pop them on the doorstep of The Tea Cosy ready to take inside. Fiddling with my unnecessarily, huge, bunch of keys, I search for the correct one to open the front door.

  “Hi, I think these are yours. They rolled off to the other side of the road.”

  Oh no, oh no! Why him again? My mystery man is standing in front of me holding up two jars–my pleasure gel in one hand and body chocolate in the other. Yet again he is wearing his familiar smirk. Feeling my face start to flame hot, I force myself to remember my rules on composure, therefore act as if I regularly drop body chocolate and pleasure gel over the road and couldn’t care less. It doesn’t help that I notice his muscles straining through his shirt as he holds up my jars.

  “Hi, oh thanks, I’m glad I’ve not lost those – couldn’t be without them for one minute” I reply confidently.

  “Well, I’m glad I could be of assistance.” Glancing at the label he reads, “Body Chocolate – best for sharing and erm ...” he glances at the other jar whilst I try not to flinch, “Pleasure gel – for that intense pleasurable feeling – well enjoy them both!” he says as he hands them to me. “I’m sure you’ll make your boyfriend’s day with those.”

  “Thank you,” I reply, face reddening, as I turn to enter The Tea Cosy. I am too flustered to explain that I haven’t got a boyfriend and wouldn’t he then think me rather odd buying them if I haven’t?

  “No problem at all. What’s a jar of body chocolate when I’ve seen the body! See you around Lizzie,” winks my man and with that he saunters off down the road with a swagger.

  “How do you know my name?” I shout after him. He turns and smiles, but this smile reaches his eyes and I know he is teasing me now.

  “The answer to that Lizzie, is one you’ll have to work out for yourself.”

  I am initially delighted with myself for my bolder behaviour until I assess the situation. This man has seen me ballet dancing wildly, whilst naked, and also being unashamedly open about how I am unable to be without my body chocolate. Why didn’t I think of some excuse, like it is a gift for a hen party? And how does he know my name?

  Note to self

  Don’t put too many heavy things in one bag.

  Find out who he is and stop referring to him as my man, because he isn’t – yet!

  Bodily hair – trim, if only for the sake of my gorgeous new underwear.

  Chapter 5

  A proposal

  Closing the door behind me with a bang, I burst out laughing – yes I actually laugh about it! Maybe stepping outside my comfort zone is making me less troubled. Rather than cringe and worry, I find the whole thing funny. I am not saying that next time I bump into him, I won’t get my familiar pink cheeks, but right now I don’t care. He may think I am some sex-crazed naturalist, but what can I do?

  After dumping my stuff, I pop next door to Ruth’s to catch up and tell her about my time away. The other purpose for my visit to Ruth’s, is to broach the subject of the outward bound trip with her. I think Ruth would enjoy it and having started to step outside my comfort zone, I am starting to see the benefits and think it would do Ruth good. I won’t tell her this of course or her stubbornness will step in and she will refuse to even consider it. I am pretty sure Kate will jump at the chance to go, but Ruth may need some coaxing.

  “Some people love the feeling of fear; others hate it and I am one of the others Lizzie,” Ruth responds to my suggestion.

  “Ruth you don’t have to do all of the activities, but just come and have fun doing the parts you like; you’ll enjoy it. I have to go because it’s on my list. Please come as moral support for me,” I beg.

  “I’ll think about it,” said Ruth. This is enough for me to know that she is likely to come. Ruth and I chat a while longer and she shows me some of her creative garden designs for her latest customer.

  Later, I call in on Kate to sound her out about the outward bound weekend and how we could manage The Tea Cosy if we were away. Kate and Ben’s cottage is a fabulous haven of serenity – I love it! It is a small, two up two down, quaint cottage, full of character which Kate has brought to life with her traditional style. She has roses around the door and a cluster of honeysuckle climbing up the walls with a duck-egg blue painted door and matching window frames. Once inside, you are welcomed by the open fire; many cosy rugs; and lots of baskets containing items such as cotton reels and pine cones. At one end of the room is a battered pine table, where Kate and I have shared many lunches. It’s a sanctuary where you can kick off your shoes and relax and I love visiting.

  Sally, their dog, barks when I knock on the door. She shakes with excitement when she sees it is me, probably because I feed her too many treats when Ben isn’t looking. Ben welcomes me in and says that Kate is in the garden and to go through.

  Kate is reading a magazine when I see her. “Hi Kate, I’ve got so much to tell you.”

  “Well you’re not the only one,” she replies.

  “You go first, because my tale may take a while,” I say.

  “Well you may not realise that it was our two year anniversary yesterday, so Ben and I went out for a walk and took a picnic up Bluebell Hill. We didn’t strip off in Bluebell Woods like you, but we did think about it. Anyway Ben hid champagne in his rucksack and when we were having a picnic on the top of the hill, he proposed. I said yes!”

  “Oh my goodness – that’s wonderful news Kate. Congratulations, I am so pleased for you both.” Ben comes over and gives Kate a quick kiss. I watch them interact and think they are perfect together. “Have you decided on a date yet?” I ask.

  “Well, we were thinking of next spring. That gives me about 10 months to plan things, which is why I have all these wedding magazines here. Also Lizzie, would you be my bridesmaid?” Kate asks.

  “Of course I will – try and stop me. I am very excited about all the wedding chat we can have during our days in The Tea Cosy.” I can’t help but smile for my best friend and her lovely man. Maybe I’ll catch the bouquet and it’ll be my turn soon.

  “What did you want to tell me Lizzie?” I spend the next few hours chatting about the wedding, my weekend and of course my third encounter with the mystery man, which Kate and Ben both find hilarious – again. Ben tells us that my mystery man has brought his dog into his surgery dog for its booster jab, but that’s all he knows. Kate and I groan at this and give firm instructions to find out more, should he return to the vet’s surgery again. Kate is also enthusiastic about coming on the outward bound weekend, esp
ecially when Ben agrees to look after The Tea Cosy for us if we make sure everything is prepared for him. Life is looking good!

  The following week at The Tea Cosy is so busy that Kate and I have little time to talk about anything other than work. We have a christening and a wedding anniversary to cater for this weekend, not to mention a ramblers’ club coming for lunch on Sunday. By Sunday evening, we both feel exhausted and my feet throb like a pulse. “Here’s a cup of tea,” I say to Kate as we sit down after The Tea Cosy’s door finally closes.

  “Thanks, just what I need with the week we’ve had. I forgot to mention that we were asked for quite a few business cards at the anniversary and christening, so maybe we’ll get some more customers. I also forgot to tell you that we have booked the village church for our wedding on the 30th April, next spring. Lizzie I know it’s your 30th soon after, but it’s the only free Saturday at the church. I promise I will make sure you have a fabulous birthday, if you don’t mind celebrating a week earlier – do you mind about the date?”

  “Oh all of that is good news and don’t worry about my 30th – we’ll celebrate at some point. I will put the date in my diary later. Where are you having your reception?”

  “We’re not sure whether to go to the village hall and have a low key affair or the have it at the hotel in Bispham. Neither of those venues really appeal to me, but anywhere else would mean guests travelling quite a distance after the service and I want the wedding to be easy for everybody.”

  “Yes I see what you mean. We’ll have to have a think of any other venues or ask the customers for ideas,” I reply in deep in thought.

  “Have you any news on the outward bound weekend yet?” asks Kate bringing me out of my trance.

  “No, but I’ve hardly been in to call Mark and haven’t even checked my email since last weekend. I’ll have a look later and let you know if he’s been in touch.” Too tired to do much else, after we finally lock up, I go upstairs straight to my welcoming bed.

  The following morning, I go online to see if Mark has been in touch and sure enough, an email is waiting in my inbox, explaining that his friend, James, would love us to visit his centre because it gives him an opportunity to trouble shoot any issues before it actually opens, for real, in a month’s time. He suggests that we go up in two weeks, when the centre will be near enough ready. Mark says he is bringing a few work colleagues with him and also Tabitha.

  I reply straight away, saying that this is great news and that I will be bringing Ruth and Kate. Then I call Kate and Ruth to let them know about the news, resulting in an explosion of excitement from Kate.

  Two fairly normal and uneventful weeks pass and suddenly the outward bound weekend is close. I am finding myself a little apprehensive about the whole thing. It’s not just the fact that I will be participating in a dangerous activity, but also bearing my brother’s company with his work colleagues for a whole weekend, but I have my two fabulous friends as company too.

  Packing is fairly easy, since most of my clothes consist of things suitable for the country. I am not sure whether I need to pack anything a little smarter, but throw in a couple of tops just in case. Ben is coming to The Tea Cosy with Kate, for his instruction and then I am driving us all over to the centre, which is called The Northern edge.

  One thing I’ve neglected to mention is Jayne Eyre. I have to confess that I love it so far and as much as I hate to admit that my mum is right–I should have read it years ago. This, I will never admit to my mother, although when she did call this week and ask how I liked it, I was honest enough to say I was enjoying it. This is the first thing from my list that hasn’t given me a wild or reckless feeling; however, I am proud of achieving yet another thing I have never done before, and I have a whole new appreciation for writing.

  Note to self

  Listen to mum more often – she might be right.

  Lizzie, you still need to attend to your bodily hair.

  Chapter 6

  With Sat Navs – when will you ever need map reading skills?

  Twitching with nervous excitement, I get up and fiddle with things or tidy up things that do not need tidying – I can’t keep still. Finally, Kate and Ben arrive, so my attentions turn to instructing Ben momentarily forgetting my nerves. After knocking for Ruth and load the bags into the car, we are ready and on our way to the activity centre. Two issues are causing feelings of slight apprehension. The first is Mark and his chums being utter pretentious idiots and secondly – the thought of actually doing something scary. I really hope it’s not bungee jumping. I have never completely understood why it’s so popular unless used for a quick way of getting down to the bottom of something. I can tell Kate is excited, but bungee jumping to her, would be like a huge slab of gooey chocolate cake to me.

  On arriving at the centre, we are greeted by the panoply of gleaming executive cars. Kate grins as she knows I’m twitchy about my own beloved, skip-on-wheels, as Mark calls it. My stubbornness beats my reasoning, causing me to park slap bang in the middle of a Jaguar and Audi. I have run naked in woodlands; been in a sex shop; read (nearly) a classic novel and am about to do some extreme sports, so two posh cars don’t faze me one bit!

  My boldness then grows legs and disappears over the nearest hill, as I push Kate in front of me when we walk through the solid wood, centre doors. A tall, lean man, with a friendly smile, welcomes us warmly, making my nerves calm instantly. His name is Peter (or Pete, he’ll answer to both) and he explains that he will be taking care of us today. I estimate that he is in his 50s and if I was 15 years older, I may find him attractive, because I can’t help but love his blue eyes, seeming to be constantly full of amusement. Peter gives us our room keys and directions to where we should go to settle ourselves. He asks us to meet for lunch in the dining room once we’re ready. On cue, my stomach starts growling like an untamed monster reminding me that I haven’t eaten that morning due to my nervous energy.

  The centre is modern and spacious with a homely feel and is buffered by the rolling hills of the area. The warmth of Peter’s welcome and the centre itself cause my spirits to rise, and I start to feel excited as my worries gradually wilt away.

  Kate, Ruth and I are sharing a room, so we unpack our bags, giggling with excitement, like school girls. Ruth in particular has suddenly found a spring in her step and is now very enthusiastic about the whole weekend. It hasn’t escaped my attention that she has mentioned Peter’s name rather frequently. I’ll have to keep my eye on her!

  On entering the dining room, we are greeted by heavenly smells of bacon cooking, causing the angry animal in my stomach to rise again. Peter apologises that not all the centre staff have started yet, so we will have to make do with his limited culinary skills, indicating towards the pile of bacon sandwiches he’s made. “Make do! Make do! What on earth does he mean, make do? A man making me bacon sandwiches – this is like all my Christmases coming at once,” whispers Ruth passionately. We are the only ones there so far, allowing me the opportunity to quiz Peter about the activities planned without an audience. He explains that this afternoon we will be doing a 6-mile-hike, with some basic rock scrambling to get us all in the mood. During the evening, when it is dark, we will be doing some orienteering–in the dark. I am quite content and can handle this until Peter’s next comment...

  “Tomorrow, we will step things up a little with some gorge crossing.” This is when my slightly cocky self, shrinks a little – what on earth is gorge crossing and does it involve heights? Strangely enough, rather than roll her eyes and say she is not doing it, Ruth is very keen. Bummer, my aim was to use Ruth as an excuse to stay out of activities and keep her company, but suddenly she’s become this adventurous, outdoorsy woman on a mission. Kate of course is positively glowing with the thought of this exciting escapade.

  At this point, in strolls Mark and his colleagues all dressed in the finest North Face jackets, followed by Tabitha in very clean, unworn Hunter W
ellingtons. I glance at Ruth’s, Kate’s and my own attire and can’t help think we look like the riff-raff locals, dragged in to increase numbers. Mark strides towards us with a solid and over-confident purpose. “Ah Lizzie there you are, please meet my sister, Lizzie, and her friends Kate and Ruth. They all live fairly local, so they’re all accustomed to the mud, country smells and traditions,” Mark laughs to his chums to a response of rowdy, middle class cheers. Kate, Ruth and I give each other knowing glances and look forward to their spotless, North Face clothing not looking quite so fresh and shiny by the end of tomorrow.

  Later we all meet Peter at the entrance ready for our hike and set off with a spring in our step. As we walk, the main group gradually separates into smaller sub-groups. I notice that Ruth and Pete are engaged in a deep conversation, heads nodding together as they appear to be in agreement with one another. Surprisingly I enjoy the company of some of Mark’s colleagues, whom I find entertaining and unlike Mark, they seem honestly interested in local life and the area.

  We stop for a break on a high hill overlooking a valley that I’m not familiar with; the fresh, verdant view is stunning as the rolling hills overlap and curve together like scattered, green emeralds. Conversation turns to the centre and when it will open. Pete explains that they open in two weeks, but that the first week will be an open week for holiday company representatives to experience the centre and hopefully promote it. They have quite a number of bookings already; nevertheless James is currently in a meeting with a marketing company to agree on an advertising programme. “Yes James said he’d be a little late when I spoke to him yesterday,” says Mark.

  “He should be at the centre by the time we return and will be involved in the orienteering tonight and gorge crossing tomorrow,” replies Pete with a smile.

  The rock scrambling is great fun, if tiring, but hilarious at one point when Tabitha places her hand in some sheep poo! Perhaps it wasn’t fun for Tabitha, but I was enjoying her being out of HER comfort zone, whilst I was in mine. I shouldn’t get over confident as I am not sure if I’ll be anywhere near it, let alone in it, when gorge crossing tomorrow.