by J. M. Paul
Taking a deep breath and clearing my mind, I tried not to panic, like Bax had repeatedly told me to do. I put my hands on his hips, bent my legs, took a few steps back to place space between us, pushed him off me hard, and lifted my hand to his face to mock hit him. Bax was forced to take several steps back while I turned and ran to the edge of the campsite.
“Great! Excellent, Libby! That was the best one yet,” Bax praised as I walked toward him again.
“Okay, now, we’ll do this from behind because that’s probably the most likely direction someone would come at you. Attackers want the advantage, and if you can’t see them coming, it puts them in the prime location.” He came closer to me. “I’ll talk you through what to do. Ready?”
“Yes.” And I was.
Bax was right; learning these moves and, most importantly, learning how to defend myself helped empower me. I didn’t feel like I was a sitting baby duck, waiting for a snapping turtle to drag me underwater, without any defenses. Bax was giving me the confidence and will to fight, like I had never done before.
As he walked me through the actions, I found my heart racing at his proximity. Going through these measures was supposed to make me feel emboldened, and they did, but they also left me inflamed for Bax in a way I hadn’t been for anyone—ever. It was liberating yet embarrassing because I was sure he could tell he was affecting me.
Bax gripped me from behind, and I lifted my arms upward to slightly loosen his grip. Then, I pushed him back with my butt and swung my leg behind his to take him down, so I could run away, but my leg got wrapped up in his. We stumbled and hit the ground but not in the position that would allow me to elbow him in the face and get to my feet to escape.
Instead, my back hit the ground first, forcing a whoosh of air out of my lungs. Bax’s big frame landed on top of me, making me groan at the pressure. Once the shock of the faulty move wore off, I opened my eyes and met Bax’s concerned expression.
“Shit. You okay?” he asked without moving.
Several stones were jabbing into my back and shoulders, and I would definitely have a bruise on my hip, but other than that, I thought I would survive.
“Y-yes.” It came out as a gasp since I was having trouble breathing. And it had nothing to do with hitting the ground and everything to do with the warm, masculine body on top of mine. Instead of making me wary and frightened, it made me tingle and come to life in places I hadn’t known I had.
His arms shot out and immediately lifted his weight from my body, but he hovered over me for a few seconds. Hazel eyes bore into mine before he dropped them lower to my mouth. In response, I licked my lips, and I heard a quiet rumble in the back of Bax’s throat and deep in his chest.
His focus remained on my lips as his head slowly dipped toward mine. I closed my lids in anticipation of—finally—another kiss.
“Uh, dude, you might want to take that inside,” Milo boomed from beside us.
Bax exhaled a frustrated breath, his body slumping, and I snapped my eyes open and twisted my head in the direction of the uninvited interruption. All I could see was Milo’s dumb big feet and sandals in my line of vision.
Really?
Climbing to his feet, Bax stuck out his hand to help me up. I grabbed it, sprang up, and adjusted my T-shirt around my waist.
“That was a quick hike,” Bax said to Milo.
Milo shrugged and then lifted his camera in front of him. “My battery died.”
“He’s worse than a girl.” Carly joined our group.
I lowered my head and ground my sandal into one of the offending rocks that had pierced into my skin. Mostly, I wanted to hide my heated cheeks at getting caught in such a compromising position with Bax.
“What are you guys up to?” Milo addressed the elephant in the woods.
I swore, my heart did a jumping jack in my chest. He could never leave well enough alone.
“We were working on self-defense moves, Milo,” I tried to scold him, but my voice was laced with too much discomfort to be heated.
“Well”—Milo cleared his throat—“that looked like quite the lesson.”
Bax punched his arm. “Shut the hell up, and go start the fire.”
“Yeah, I’m starving. Come on,” Carly said.
Before Carly dragged Milo away, she gave me a knowing look, and Milo winked at me. I shook my head at both of them.
“Ignore him. He’s the most immature person I’ve ever met.” Bax turned to me. “Are you sure you didn’t get hurt?”
“No. I’m good.” My ego, on the other hand, is a different story.
“Had enough for today, or do you want to continue?” Bax’s eyebrows lifted in question.
“I think we’ve covered enough for today. I should probably start prepping dinner, so we can head out for Sunset Peak.” I lifted my eyes to the cloudless sky. “It looks like it’ll be a perfect night.”
“I’m sure it will be.” Bax placed his hand around mine and led me back to the campsite where Milo was unsuccessfully trying to light a fire.
“You’d think, with as much camping as we’ve done, he’d know how to build a fire by now,” Bax mumbled to me before he released my hand and walked toward Milo.
“I heard that, pendejo.” Milo tossed a stick at Bax, but he easily sidestepped it.
“Men.” Carly stood beside me and smiled at the guys arguing over the pit.
If they didn’t get the fire going soon, we would either have to skip dinner or not make the sunset.
As Carly and I prepared the lemon-and-salmon foil packets, we chatted about our portfolios and how epic this trip would be for our careers. She wanted to be a fashion photographer, and my ideal job would be to work for National Geographic or Time magazines, but I would accept any job that allowed me to make a living off of what I loved to do and kept me traveling the world. If I were constantly on the move—like I was on this trip—my past mistakes couldn’t come back to haunt me, and I would almost be impossible to find. It was a win-win for someone in my situation.
“You want to work at National Geographic or Time magazines?” Bax picked up the food pouches.
“Ideally, yes. But I know it’s virtually impossible to get in. So, I would love to work for any reputable magazine, but those are my top picks.” I scratched my ear.
“You can do and achieve anything you set your heart on, Peanut,” my mom’s voice whispered in my head.
Even though my mom wasn’t with me here on earth, she was always with me in my heart and soul, being my biggest supporter the only way she was allowed. The feeling used to make me sad, but I was finally learning to accept comfort when I received little signs from above from her, Dad, Justice, and Jarrod. I carried their deaths with me every single day. But, if I was forced to be on this earth, I wanted to be a woman they could be proud of, in whatever way I was capable.
“Those are my top picks as well.” Bax bent by the fire and placed the food on the hot coals to cook.
We gave each other a knowing look, and then I busied myself with pulling out some fruit, pasta, potato salad, and chips to snack on while we waited for our main course.
“Where do you want to work, Milo?” I shoved a Dorito into my mouth. Then, I scooped the potato salad onto a paper plate.
“I don’t really care as long as I make enough money to rule the world.” He collapsed into a camping chair and closed his eyes.
It had been another couple of busy days of driving to all the beautiful parts of Glacier National Park. Avalanche Lake and Pebble Shore Lake were my favorites so far. The stones at Pebble Shore were astonishing. There were pinks, reds, and blues along with every other color of the rainbow beneath the surface of the clear-as-day water. The backdrop of mountains provided an apt setting.
I was excited to get into a bigger city where we could connect to a good Wi-Fi signal, so I could start to edit my photos and save them to my Dropbox folders.
“Not everything’s about money.” Bax stoked the fire, and the flames grew with inten
sity.
“That’s because you have it,” Milo shot back. “I’m from a Mexican family. All we do is work our culos off, and there are eighty of us that live in one house.” I took that to be an exaggeration. “I’m the first in my family to go to college, so I have a lot riding on what I become.”
We all eyed each other and then him. Milo didn’t tend to get personal and talk about his family or home life. He always joked or made fun of people. Not one thing he said tended to be serious, but I could tell by the look in his eyes and the tone of his voice that he wasn’t lying. His family was depending on him.
The silence sat heavy around us for too long, so I said, “You’re a very talented photographer, Milo. I have no doubt that you’ll go far in your career.”
And I meant it. He was extremely gifted. His ability to capture something from such a unique angle made a viewer reexamine what they’d thought they knew of a typical scene. He was creative, sporadic, and showed a considerable amount of specialized craft.
“Gracias, muñeca.” He winked at me.
Carly moved her chair next to his and balanced her already full plate on her knees. She’d be full before dinner was even ready.
“How many people do you actually have living in your house?” Carly shoved a strawberry into her mouth.
“About twenty.” Milo snatched a blackberry off her plate.
“Twenty?” My eyes widened.
“Yeah. We have my family, my mom’s brother’s family, my dad’s sister’s family, and my abuela and abuelo.” Milo pushed his hand back through his hair.
“That has to be a busy place.” Bax made a plate for himself and moved my chair next to his to sit by the fire.
“Eh, you get used to it.” Milo shrugged. He took Carly’s fork and started to eat half of the food on her plate. That must have been the reason she had taken so much. “We’re Mexican. It’s what we do for family.”
That was all Milo said about his home life.
None of us asked more questions because prodding into someone else’s life would give them permission to pry into ours. A mutually unspoken agreement had happened at the beginning of this trip. We wouldn’t inquire into anyone’s past or lives if they didn’t intrude into ours. I liked it, and I, above anyone else, respected it. I was sure Milo and Carly knew more about each other than I did about either of them, just as Bax and I had shared secrets of our own that Milo and Carly didn’t know.
We passed the time with easy conversation, ate our foil-packet dinners, and then packed up to head out to Sunset Peak.
It was a beautiful sunset, and I wasn’t even facing it. Instead, I’d turned my back to the sinking sun, and I was photographing the single mountain it illuminated in its mesmerizing orange glow.
As I crouched down with the lake and mountain in focus, I felt Bax standing behind me. He gently placed his warm hands on my shoulders to help steady me for the shot.
When I clicked several rounds, I turned my head in his direction. He was outlined by the fading light and looked like an angel. My angel.
In that moment, I knew my heart was no longer mine. And, if the look in his eyes held any indication, I would say Bax was stumbling down the same path as me.
When it came to farms, I always thought of miles upon miles of drab flat land with nothing but corn or hay. The vision skimming by the van window proved that thought very wrong.
The lush green land before us had rolling hills with mountains in the background. It was vibrant, stunning, and happy.
Or maybe that’s just me.
My elated mood could possibly have something to do with the fact that Bax was holding my hand. In the van. In front of Carly and Milo, like it was something we did every day.
I sneaked a peek down at our conjoined fingers and then glanced up at Bax. He was driving but turned his head in my direction. The small tilt of his mouth and the hint of a dimple informed me that he knew what was running through my head. His grip tightened slightly, and at the same time, it felt like he clasped my heart more firmly.
In the last few days, Bax and I’d seemed to take leaps in our budding relationship. I wasn’t sure what exactly was happening because we hadn’t discussed it, but something greater was starting to bloom. There were more stolen glances, innocent touching, and kissing.
Oh, the kissing.
I closed my eyes and let myself remember the moment.
After the sun set at Sunset Peak in Glacier National Park, Carly and Milo walked back to the van almost immediately. I stayed by the water, listening to the nocturnal world awaken around me. As I digested the atmosphere, I felt a warm hand press against my back as Bax stood next to me.
When I lifted my head in his direction, I couldn’t see well, but I noticed there seemed to be contentment in his features. He pulled me closer to his side, and I wrapped my arm around him. We stood together like that for a long moment until I felt Bax’s attention on me.
“Can I kiss you again?” Bax turned slightly, so the front of our bodies were touching.
My breasts rubbed against his chest, sending tingles deep inside my stomach.
Lifting my chin, I stood on my tiptoes and pressed my mouth against his in answer. It surprised me that I could be so bold when it came to intimacy, but with Bax, I found I wasn’t afraid. His touch was almost like a drug I started to crave uncontrollably.
Our lips moved in a slow dance, and it grew with intensity as our hunger for each other escalated. Bax’s hands moved up and down my back, slowly bringing every aspect of me to life. I had spent the last five years desperately trying not to feel anything, but when I was wrapped in Bax’s arms, I found I wanted to feel everything. His touch, attention, consideration, and respect woke me up from a long winter’s sleep.
Tongues clashing, bodies struggling to get closer, lips biting and begging for more, I didn’t hear Carly’s and Milo’s approach. Slowly, Bax broke the kiss. I groaned my protest and tried to decrease the space between us as my mouth searched for him in the dim light.
A deep chuckle vibrated in his chest. “Patience, Ad Lib. We have plenty of time to get acquainted with one another. But I don’t think you want to give our traveling companions a show right now. I don’t mind, but I know you do.”
I blinked open my eyes to see Bax studying me in the dark, and then I noticed our trip-mates behind him, and the mood was crushed.
Now, we were all sitting in the van, enjoying the sites of Idaho flashing by in a blur, on our way to Coeur d’Alene. The location was mostly just a motel stop on our way to Seattle, but we had researched the city, and it seemed pretty enough to spend some time there, taking pictures.
The van suddenly jerked, and a wump, wump, wump sounded in the cab before the whole vehicle started to shake.
“Shit.” Bax gripped the steering wheel tighter and tried to maneuver the hard-to-control van to the shoulder of the road.
“Flat tire?” I glanced behind us to make sure there wasn’t a vehicle that would rear-end us.
“That fricking blows…literally. What the hell is wrong with this van?” Milo complained from the backseat.
“We’ve put thousands of miles on this thing. I think we’re in pretty good shape if this is only the second time we’ve broken down.” Bax’s patience for Milo’s complaining was running thin, especially when he was trying to move us safely off the road.
Milo pulled out his phone. “Well, at least this time, I have a signal. Gracias, Idaho.”
Bax brought the vehicle to a stop and put it in park.
“Well, I guess this all adds to the adventure.” Smiling at Bax, I opened the door to assess the damage.
Bax, Milo, and Carly joined me.
“Do we have a spare?” Carly kicked the flat.
“No clue. I’m sorry to say I didn’t think to check before we left.” Bax ran his hand down his face.
“The better question is, does anyone know how to change a tire?” I considered them, and they looked like deer caught in headlights.
“Can we Google it?” Milo questioned. We all laughed. “I’m serious. I’m sure there’s a YouTube video.”
Bax and I pulled luggage from the back of the van in search of the spare when a tractor pulled up along the fence bordering the farm we had broken down next to.
The guy stepped down and leaned against the post. “Well, what seems to be the problem, folks?” The farmer lifted his hat and wiped his forehead with his arm.
“Flat tire!” Bax yelled back.
“Well, that there’s no good.” He placed his hat back in place and pulled it low to block the sun from his eyes. “You gotta spare?”
“We’re looking right now,” Carly answered.
“Well, ya ain’t gonna find it in there. If ya gotta spare, it’d be under the hatch, right there.” He pointed under the van. He stepped up onto his tractor, turned it off, and then hopped over the fence to walk in our direction. When he made it to us, he crouched on his hands and knees and peered under the van. “Well, looks like ya ain’t got one.” The farmer sat back on his heels.
“That sucks.” Milo kicked at a stone on the cement.
“Well, there ain’t a car place around for miles, and”—he pulled out a pocket watch—“in the country it’s close to closin’ time, so they won’t come out this far.”
My shoulders sagged. Why do we have the worst luck?
“What are we supposed to do now?” I asked the group.
“Well, where ya headin’?” The guy stood and scratched his chin.
“We planned on staying the night in Coeur d’Alene.” Bax started to load the van again.
“Well, that there’s a pretty town, but ya still a ways out from there.” Farmer Guy tucked his hands into the pockets of his overalls and broadened his stance.
“What about a tow truck?” Milo pushed the hatch closed after Bax put the last bag in.
“Well, ya ain’t gonna get one to come out here this late at night. No, sir.” The guy shook his head.
I pulled the phone I never used out of my pocket to look at the time. It was four thirty in the afternoon.