Next Best Thing

by Charity Parkerson

  The house was silent as Tucker came through the door. Of course, Orion’s house was always quiet. While Orion owned a TV, it was only a small one in his bedroom. Otherwise, Orion’s house was devoid of unnecessary sound. It was just another thing Tucker found appealing about Orion. Tucker didn’t like noise. Too much busyness left him feeling agitated. He wasn’t sure why Orion preferred the silence. For Tucker, it was because he had been raised off the grid by a psychotic father who beat him daily until... Well, it didn’t matter. Tucker was grown now. His dad was dead. They had inherited his money. Hell was behind him.

  Tucker made his way to the den. Orion rarely spent a minute anywhere else. Being surrounded by his massive collection of books made Orion happy. Tucker had to admit, the room filled with mismatched bookcases and overflowing books smelled delicious—like dreams and old paper. He spotted Orion immediately. With his phone resting on his chest, Orion slept peacefully. There were dark smudges beneath his eyes. A hint of guilt sneaked in. Tucker had been keeping the guy up late and busy for over four months. No doubt the guy was exhausted. Tucker should leave him in peace.

  For a moment, Tucker chewed on his bottom lip and stared at Orion. If he stayed put, his neck would be fucked up by morning. Tucker moved slowly, easing to the side of Orion’s recliner. He snagged Orion’s phone and plugged it in to charge. With that out of the way, he killed the lamp. He rushed to the bedroom and turned down the covers before returning for Orion. As softly and slowly as possible, Tucker slipped his arms beneath Orion and pulled him to his chest. Orion immediately snuggled closer. Tucker held his breath. When Orion didn’t wake, he lifted the man into his arms and headed for the bedroom. As he set Orion on the bed, Orion stirred. Tucker froze. Orion grabbed his arm and hauled it across him—like pulling a blanket over him. Tucker slid in beside him. He was right on the edge and was one wrong move away from landing on the floor. Then, Orion rolled, taking Tucker’s arm with him, and Tucker found Orion’s ass pressed against his cock. He was stuck. Orion’s body molded against him and had him locked in place every bit as much as chains. Tucker settled in. He was here for the foreseeable future. As long as Orion stayed in his arms, Tucker would stay put. After all, it was possible this was as much as he would ever get of Orion’s love.

  Three

  First, Orion blinked at his bedroom ceiling, trying to decide how in the hell he had ended up in bed. Then, he spent a minute staring at his bedside clock, wondering if he had lost power in the middle of the night. There was no way in hell it was two in the afternoon. Otherwise, he had slept like the dead, or someone who had partied all night. Next, a solid warmth beside him moved, sending his heart racing into his throat. Orion slowly rolled, praying he wasn’t about to die. Tucker’s huge body filled the bed, taking up too much space. Orion couldn’t even blink. His eyes refused to give up their feast. He had no clue why Tucker was in his bed, but Orion had no complaints. He looked so peaceful. Orion fought a smile. It should be illegal for one person to be so gorgeous.

  Orion’s bladder screamed for him to get moving. With a barely suppressed sigh for the loss of Tucker’s face, Orion slipped from bed as silently as possible. While in the bathroom, he went ahead and brushed his teeth. For a long minute he stared at his reflection in the mirror. Orion never made a point to look at himself. He never saw a collection of features, making up a person’s face—like a normal person would. Orion saw his mother’s eyes and his father’s jaw. Dark hair from some anonymous source he would never know. There were very few times he recalled his parents being sober. Even less times when they were clean at the same time. The one thing Orion clearly recalled was finding them dead. Their empty, lifeless eyes staring at nothing. To his shame, he also recalled his relief. That is, until he realized no one else wanted him either. He would still go hungry, just under a different roof. Orion switched off the light. No good ever came from looking at himself.

  Tucker still slept peacefully when Orion left the bathroom. He didn’t have the heart to wake him. Instead, Orion grabbed a bottle of water from the kitchen and headed for his chair. He had a book waiting and time to kill. Hopefully, Tucker got the rest he obviously needed. That was all Orion had to offer. Thank goodness he had taken a vacation day. Otherwise, he might have ended up fired.

  Tucker padded to the bathroom, finding the toothbrush Orion kept for him there. He went through his usual morning routine, trying to shake off the death sleep he had endured. Somehow, it was three in the afternoon. The hours had passed in the blink of an eye. He wondered what time Orion had rolled from bed and why he hadn’t woken him. Now, he only had a few hours left until he had another job tonight.

  He found Orion in the same spot he had last night, except this time he stared at an open book. Orion had his bottom lip held between his teeth and eyes scanned the pages. He was so fucking perfect.

  “There’s the sexy man of my dreams. Why didn’t you wake me up when you got up?”

  Orion looked up from his book. Even though he focused on Tucker, Tucker could tell he was still half inside the book in his hands by his dazed expression. Tucker bit the inside of his cheek to hide his smile. Orion blinked. “Hey. Did you have a good night of sleep?”

  He was adorable. “Too good. I barely have any time left to spend with you now before I have to get ready to go out for work.”

  “Oh.” Orion set his book aside. “I didn’t realize you had a job tonight. I’ll fix you something to drink. You’re probably thirsty after sleeping forever.”

  Tucker shook his head as Orion headed for the kitchen. Even though Tucker was a dreamer, he still had never met anyone with their head in the clouds as much as Orion. Tucker couldn’t get enough of him. Between his snark and his innocence, Orion was a treasure.

  When Orion didn’t return after several minutes, Tucker went hunting. He found Orion standing in the middle of the kitchen, staring at nothing, while the sink overflowed onto the floor.

  Tucker rushed to turn off the water. “What are you doing? I thought you were fixing me something to drink.”

  Orion blinked. The way he looked at Tucker made Tucker wonder if his head was still half in another world. “Oh. Sorry.” He blinked some more. “I was just thinking about this scene I read right before you woke up.” He moved to the sink and opened the cabinet below it. He pulled out a few hand towels. Orion draped them over the puddle on the floor, letting them soak up the mess. “I think that scene was bullshit. It’s bugging me.”

  Tucker’s cheeks ached from smiling. Orion wasn’t meant for this world. “Tell me about it. Maybe we can work it out.”

  While using his foot to mop up the mess with the towels, Orion spoke over his shoulder. “This girl was on the bed with her head hanging over the edge when the guy came in the room. He bent over and kissed her upside down. They were both super into it, but I can’t think that would be anything but awkward. Like teeth licking and nose all in the chin awkward. I don’t know. It’s just bugging me.”

  “Okay. Well… let’s go try it.”

  Orion snorted.

  Tucker didn’t back down. “I’m serious. You’re my best friend. If you need to figure this out, it’s my job to help you out. Let’s try it.”

  Orion looked his way. He seemed two steps beyond shocked. “You think of me as your best friend?”

  That wasn’t what he expected had surprised Orion. The guy always kept Tucker on his toes. “Duh,” Tucker said, rolling his eyes. “I spend all my free time with you. Why else would I do that?” He motioned Orion toward the bedroom. “Come on. Let’s figure out the reality of this scene.”

  Orion didn’t move. “But I don’t know where your lips have been.”

  Sometimes, Orion really tested him. “Nowhere for at least a year now.”

  The skeptical expression Orion wore spoke volumes. “But you go on dates almost daily.”

  “No. I work. It’s not the same. I’m not trying to really date anyone who hires me. Plus, it’s only temporary. Pretty soon, Toby and I will back awa
y and leave the guys we’ve been hiring to go on the actual dates. You know I don’t need the money.”

  “Then why do you do it? I’ve always been curious.”

  Tucker waved off his question. “So the guys know we don’t think we’re too good to do what they do, and they feel comfortable enough to come to us if anything goes wrong. Toby and I will intercede by barring certain customers, filing restraining orders, or taking legal action. And don’t think I don’t see right through you, buddy. Stop changing the subject. Let’s go see if that book is wrong so you can send them a strongly worded email or whatever it is you do when you find ridiculousness in books.”

  Orion’s forehead furrowed. “I don’t do that.” He moved past Tucker, heading toward the bedroom. “I just won’t read anything else by the author.”

  Tucker followed on Orion’s heels, scared to hope. He wouldn’t believe Orion truly meant to let Tucker kiss him until it happened.

  Orion climbed onto the bed, flipped onto his back, and hung his head over the edge. He looked exactly like this was a science experiment. If there was an ounce of sexual desire in Orion for Tucker, he should win an award for his ability to hide it. This kiss would mean nothing to him while it meant everything to Tucker. Orion crossed his arms over his chest—like a martyr. “Okay. Let’s do this.”

  Heat soared through Tucker’s veins as he crossed the room. Each step he took in Orion’s direction, Tucker’s heart beat a little faster. He gently grasped Orion’s throat as he bent. Tucker needed Orion to give him more than a half second kiss. He needed a moment to make Orion feel what he did. Tucker opened his mouth over Orion’s bottom lip. Orion gasped. Tucker took advantage and licked Orion’s tongue. His cock stirred, hardening as Orion licked him back. Tucker didn’t hold back. He licked, sucked, and nibbled, pouring his heart into the only kiss he would probably ever get from Orion. Their kiss turned even more heated by the second. Tucker was so turned on that his entire body throbbed. He had to know if Orion was as aroused as him. Tucker massaged Orion’s chest as he kissed him deep. He didn’t give Orion time to guess at his intentions. Tucker copped a feel of Orion’s cock, finding him hard. Tucker rubbed, fully intent on driving him insane. He needed Orion every bit as crazed as him.

  Orion pulled his hair and bit him before ripping his face away. He openly gasped for air with his eyes squeezed shut. Tucker couldn’t look away. Orion’s chest expanded. His eyes opened, but he didn’t look Tucker’s way. “I guess that author knew what she was talking about, after all.”

  “Orion.” Even Tucker heard the desperation in his voice.

  Orion rolled from the bed, leaving Tucker behind on his knees.

  With a deep breath for strength, Tucker pushed to his feet and went after Orion. He found him standing at the kitchen counter, staring at nothing again.

  “Orion.”

  Orion barely glanced over his shoulder. “Are you hungry? I have hamburgers I could throw on the grill.”

  From nowhere, the backs of Tucker’s eyes burned. Orion would never truly want him. All the months he had spent trying to win the guy were for nothing. Whatever reasons Orion had for ignoring what grew larger between them every day, Tucker couldn’t breach them. He swallowed past the hurt. Tucker was pretty used to being unloved. It seemed his brothers were all he would ever have. “That’s fine. I’ll go get the grill started.” He turned away, heading for the back door. No amount of talking would change anything. He would stick to why he had come here—being Orion’s friend—and then he would go home. Maybe, he wouldn’t come back though. His heart couldn’t take the beating. Tucker had already spent most of his life getting his ass kicked. He had sworn, when his dad died, he wouldn’t let anyone else hurt him. Being with Orion was starting to hurt. He couldn’t keep doing it.

  “Tucker.”

  Tucker turned at the sound of his name. For a moment, Orion looked as lost as Tucker felt. His shoulders fell and he looked away, as if looking at Tucker physically hurt him too. “You’re my best friend too.”

  Well, fuck. Now, he didn’t know what to do.

  Orion had no clue how much time passed while he clung to the counter and stared at nothing. His body burned. Orion’s heart was a mess. He had always known, if he ever let Tucker touch him, he wouldn’t survive it. Orion couldn’t explain what happened. One second, he had been ranting about that stupid book. The next, he had climbed onto the bed, completely prepared to get his heart wrecked. It was so much better than he had ever fantasized it would be. The pain was so much worse than he ever dreamed. There was no scenario where someone like Tucker fell for someone like him. Orion was a book nerd. He was skinny, awkward, and didn’t know how to flirt. Orion was that guy who hid in the corner, incapable of making friends or small talk. Tucker was that cool kid. The one that got invited to every party. He had money and countless friends. Tucker could play sports in the morning and wear a tux to a huge event at night. His body, smile, and eyes were beautiful. Fuck, even his hands were sexy. Now, Orion knew his kiss was amazing too.

  The way Tucker had kissed him and rubbed his body, Orion could still barely breathe. If Orion hadn’t stopped, Tucker wouldn’t have either. He could have been inside the man tonight. Orion drew a deep breath in through his nose. What then? He never would have seen Tucker again and that would kill Orion. Tucker was all he had. He realized Tucker didn’t know it, but Orion’s life was completely empty. He was an orphan who had survived a group home by losing himself in books. Dreaming was all he had. Only when the world disappeared into fiction, did Orion know what it was like to feel love. When he lived a thousand lives through stories, Orion wasn’t alone. Tucker was the only real connection Orion had. If Tucker took away his friendship, maybe Orion would completely disappear.

  Orion grabbed the hamburger patties and threw some spices on them, determined to push that kiss from his mind. Tucker reappeared. His hand slid across the small of Orion’s back. The scent of his cologne overcame him. Orion’s eyes fell closed as he sucked the smell into his lungs.

  “I keep forgetting to tell you, I won’t be around this weekend. There’s a weekend long event I can’t avoid.”

  Orion nodded. They were back on familiar ground. He could handle this part. Orion was used to Tucker spending time with other men. “That’s fine. I don’t expect you to always come around.” He shrugged and kept his eyes locked on the food. “You have this whole life outside of me.”

  “No. Really, I don’t.”

  Tucker sounded sad. Orion’s gaze slid Tucker’s way despite his best efforts. Tucker stared back at him, as if waiting for Orion’s full attention. Alarm bells clanged in the back of Orion’s mind. His brain screamed for him to run. Orion’s feet refused to budge. Before Orion could react, Tucker was there. Tucker’s body collided with his. Orion was trapped between the counter and Tucker’s massive body. Every molecule of his body was on fire as Tucker’s mouth came down hard on his. Orion automatically opened for him, practically begging. Tucker ate at his mouth while Orion couldn’t do anything but match his intensity. His feet left the floor as Tucker lifted him by his ass, hauled him forward, and ground his erection against Orion’s. For a moment, Orion’s brain short-circuited. He was nothing more than wanton desire. Orion clung to Tucker’s huge chest on the verge of shaking with need. Then, he felt something shift in his chest. Fear set in. His palms flattened against Tucker’s chest. He pushed. Tucker’s entire body hardened. It was as if he physically felt Tucker’s heart close to him. His feet slipped back to the floor as Tucker set him away.

  “Tucker.” Even Orion heard the pleading in his voice. “We’re just too different.” Orion didn’t understand how his tongue still worked. Yet there was no denying the idiocy falling from his lips. “You’ll meet someone who matches you and I’ll be left in the dust. This isn’t one of my books where the nerd lands the hottest guy in town. It’s real life.” He couldn’t stop. Words kept flowing out, making Orion want to bite off his tongue. “The first time someone questions why you’re da
ting me, you’ll be humiliated. Please, just let me be your friend. Stop trying for more. I don’t want to get hurt. I just want your friendship.” Orion’s chin dropped. His gaze hit the floor. Orion’s eyes burned with shame. “I just want to be your friend. That’s as close as someone like me gets to really having someone like you.”

  “Wow.” Tucker’s voice sounded dead. It had Orion’s chin shooting upward. He had to see Tucker’s face. His expression didn’t match. Tucker’s eyes burned with rage. Orion was transfixed. “I had no idea. You honest to god think I’m a piece of shit, don’t you?” He shook his head. A scary looking smile touched his lips. Orion would have taken a step back if he could. A humorless laugh rumbled from Tucker. He shook his head again. Finally, he let out a long and exaggerated sigh. When his gaze locked on Orion again, Orion’s skin went cold. Tucker was beyond enraged. “I spend all day working my ass off, so I’ll be free when you get home. When I get hired for jobs, I watch the clock the whole time, waiting for the minute I can rush here to be with you. If I actually convince you to go somewhere with me, I try hard to stand as close as I can, because I’m so fucking proud for people to think you might be mine. And this whole goddamn time, you’ve been thinking you need to keep me in my place because I’m an egotistical ass who will fuck anything.” Orion wanted to argue. His throat wouldn’t work, and Tucker didn’t give him a chance. Tucker took a step closer. His hips collided with Orion’s body. Tucker’s erection couldn’t be missed. “Even knowing you think I’m the biggest piece of shit on the planet, I still want you. How stupid am I?”

  His expression turned cruel and Orion’s heart squeezed. He wanted to run as Tucker dipped his chin and got in his face, refusing to let Orion look away. “At least I know I’m fucked up, Orion. I know that over a decade of living in a tent while my dad kicked me, spit on me, and knocked out my teeth fucked me up in the head. I’m well aware that I’m worthless, but I never, ever expected that you—someone just as broken but completely blind to it—would be the one to break me even more.” He stroked Orion’s jaw. “You are incredibly beautiful and equally blind, but I’m just some asshole who doesn’t care, right?” He pushed away, as if he ripped away his friendship along with his body. Orion felt it break. “I won’t waste anymore of your time. I’m sorry I hung around where I wasn’t wanted.” He walked away, leaving Orion empty, and with no clue how to fix it. Tucker was right. Orion was broken. No one had ever taught him how to love. Now, losing everything, Orion was a master at that. Some things never changed.