Love Tarot for Beginners

by Jhone Daniels

  This is the card of duplicity. By this I mean that it is a card of using deception, in word or deed, to turn the tide in your favor and win the outcome of your choice. In business, this can be an excellent thing, and sometimes needed in a cutthroat world.

  But in love, honesty and transparency create the path to warm intimacy, so it is a weapon that needs to be wielded with skill and caution.

  In the beginning of a romance, this can mean the “best self” you present to your potential partner while you are wooing each other. That is normal and to be expected. It is the clever convincing you do when you are trying to win the heart of another.

  But, be careful. It can also mean that your potential romance or even existing partner is not being entirely honest with you. This is ALSO the card of infidelity, so if you are concerned that all is not what it seems to be, pay close attention!

  So, even when you are acting with noble and ultimately sincere intentions, make sure there comes a time when you drop the pretense and show your real self. You need to know that you can be loved for who you truly are, because this “Cool Girl” or “Prince Perfect” is an act you can’t keep up forever.

  POSSIBLE OUTCOME

  Time to pay closer attention to what is happening in your romance. The Seven of Swords in this position suggests deception in the future. NO, this does not mean it’s ok to look at their phone or email, suspicious and searching, but it’s certainly time to have a chat. So have one!

  EIGHT OF SWORDS

  TRADITIONAL MEANING

  Self imposed restriction. Feeling stuck. Learned helplessness.

  ROMANCE READING

  In a traditional tarot deck, the striking Eight of Swords usually depicts a woman, blindfolded, arms bound, in the middle of a circle of swords. She looks helpless and trapped in her tiny prison, but if you look again, you will notice that all is not as it seems.

  That blindfold is about to come loose. Those binds around her arms are loosely tied, and the swords that encircle her like a corral are loosely spaced and once she shakes off her bonds with ease, she might easily walk between those sharp edges to freedom.

  So why doesn’t she?

  Sometimes we feel trapped in relationships, almost as if we have to stay. Yes, in well-established marriages with children, this can seem very true, but even then, you have choices.

  For most of us, it’s just a crappy relationship that is going nowhere, or a crappy relationship in a shared living space that feels impossible to leave, and this type of trapped thinking is a mistake, and it comes from a feeling of scarcity…of feeling like this is all there is, and the best you can do, so let’s make the most of it.

  Scarcity thinking is especially bad for new relationships, as it can cause you to commit to someone who is far less than ideal simply because you feel like you either can’t “do any better,” or worse, DESERVE any better, and so you settle, and you settle hard.

  I want to make it clear here that I am not at all advocating for flighty fickleness and an endless “I can always trade up” mentality. That is also a barrier to intimacy and love. There is everything to be said for making a commitment strong enough that you feel emotionally safe and sticking to it. The idea that “we are in this space together, and no one is going anywhere, so let’s work it out” is great, and to be encouraged, but there is another side to this that you want to avoid, and that is committing to a sucky someone because you have “invested so much.”

  Don’t let your “sunk costs” be your prison. There is such a thing as misplaced loyalty.

  Look carefully at your prison bars, and shake the door. It might already be open.

  OUTCOME

  Someone is feeling very trapped, even if they are free. Time to see if that can be fixed, or if you need to take off the blindfold and run!

  NINE OF SWORDS

  TRADITIONAL MEANING

  Dark night of the soul. Shame and worry. Fear of catastrophe.

  ROMANCE READING

  Wow, Star Pirate-Lover Person, I pondered how to approach this card, because this and the one that follows are probably the most troublesome cards in the deck, and I can’t have you feeling brokenhearted without at least some glimmer of hope.

  Firstly, all tarot readings are to be considered as a guideline for what could happen if you continue on the current course. There is nothing set in stone. You can change an outcome, or at least your part in an outcome, and this is relevant here.

  Secondly, well, let’s get to that.

  The Nine of Swords is the 3am toss and turn in bed, deeply fretful that you are about to be exposed in a shameful or horrible situation. It is the fear that you have done something so stupid and you are about to get caught and it’s too late now and everything is going to turn into a poop sandwich.

  The good news is that with the Nine of Swords, the “world-shattering catastrophe” is most likely all in your head, and if there are bad outcomes to be had in the real world, they are most likely smaller potatoes than you suppose. Nowhere near the disaster you imagine. This is especially true if very positive cards are in the same spread, such as The Sun, The World, or the Nine of Pentacles or any of the Aces. In fact, if the Sun appears in a spread with this card…your worry is for no reason at all. Please stop torturing yourself!

  The element of shame is an important aspect to this card, and you should pay attention to it. If you have done something you consider shameful, it’s time to right the situation as soon as possible. There is every chance you will “get away with it” so to speak, but that doesn’t make your mistake any less, um, mistakey. Shame is very toxic because, unlike guilt, it’s not about disappointment in what you have done; it’s disappointment in who you are. That’s no good, and rarely appropriate…as in, never.

  So either fix it, or make with the self-compassion, pronto!

  POSSIBLE OUTCOME

  Someone is terrified of getting in big trouble. Someone is fearful that they have done a Very Bad Thing. Hopefully it will vanish like a nightmare in the morning light, but otherwise, definitely get on that before it explodes!

  If you think this card might be about how your romantic interest feels about you, rather than your feelings about yourself, then I am sorry. This tends to mean that the other person feels so stressed by you and your relationship that they are avoiding all contact, feeling guilty about it, and are being generally avoidant. It’s a childish response, but a common one, and again, a good time to take very good care of yourself. Pull way back, and spend time with people who love you.

  TEN OF SWORDS

  TRADITIONAL MEANING

  Cruelty. Crushing defeat. Worst is over. Total collapse.

  ROMANCE READING

  Let’s just put the kettle on straight away, before we go on, ok?

  The ideal place for this sorrowful card is in the past position of a spread. Even the present position is fine, because you will already be in pain and know what is causing this to happen.

  Alas, the future is just a crummy place for this to show up. This is a card of absolute endings, cruel behavior, and yes, defeat, but there is good reason not to utterly despair.

  In a traditional tarot card, a man, grey in death, lies on the ground with ten swords stuck in his back...but look beyond this grim scene. In the background is a sunrise, and it is there purposefully to tell you the worst is over, or very soon to be, and this is not forever.

  Yes, this does suggest that someone will let you down in a spectacular sort of way, but it will not kill you.

  An otherwise positive spread will surely mitigate the pain represented here, but there is definitely pain to be had. You might just get dumped, and it’s painful and hard and you will feel a bit crushed, but not for long, and it doesn’t mean you will never love again. That sunrise promises just that, so take heart, lover.

  POSSIBLE OUTCOME

  I fear that if there were ever a card that said “…and they didn’t live happily ever after,” it would be this one, so in an outcome card position the Ten of S
words suggests an ending. I tend to believe things don’t work out for a reason, so you might find in hindsight this was a blessing. Sometimes people we imagine we want the most are directly in front of the one we are truly meant to be with, so consider this one more obstacle removed on your journey to love.

  Regardless, and again, take very good care of yourself, and know you are entirely lovable, even if it is not happening right at this very moment.

  PAGE OF SWORDS

  TRADITIONAL MEANING

  Younger, intellectual person. Cerebral communication. Cool personality

  ROMANCE READING

  As a person, our Page is one of cool disposition, even lacking in passion. This is someone who lives in his or her head, and feels perfectly fine with that…thank you very much! Highly intelligent and a fun person with whom to have long talks late into the night, this young man or woman is not really of a romantic bent.

  You might find your Page frustrating, especially if you crush on a big brain. They might be a bit clueless in matters of the heart. This person will make an excellent friend, but possibly a bad romantic partner. I’m not saying that they are asexual. I am saying though, that sex might be their only way of expressing tenderness or affection, so if you are looking for affectionate warmth outside of the bedroom, said Page might not be for you.

  As a situation, this can mean something as simple as an intense conversation that changes things in your relationship, or a cool reception to your romantic overtures. Not necessarily a bad thing, but if you are looking for fire, expect instead cool steel.

  POSSIBLE OUTCOME

  Most likely just a conversation that clears the air. Expect very straight talk soon.

  THE KNIGHT OF SWORDS

  TRADITIONAL MEANING

  Unpredictable and wild young man. Information given in a tactless manner.

  ROMANCE READING

  Oh look, it's Danger Boy. Sigh. Handsome and charming and devil may care, here is the one that will sweep you off your feet and then drop you as soon as you start to get used to all the heady deliciousness of it all.

  The sexy, but emotionally distant man that you want to "win", because he is a challenge? This guy.

  The man who gets recruited for the CIA? This guy.

  Is that a promise? No. There are exceptions to this. Sometimes the Knight of Swords means there is a smart, intense, and sexy guy is in your life, and he doesn't suffer fools lightly. Can you match that energy? Then he might be your guy, and you two can be the intense couple in all black that hangs out in the corner at parties and wonders how long they have to make small talk before they can go home.

  Otherwise, you might find him a bit…frosty, if great in the sack.

  POSSIBLE OUTCOME

  WHOOSH. What just happened? Did you get swept up in something that feels out of your control? Hold on to your knickers. Things might be getting very exciting, very soon.

  QUEEN OF SWORDS

  TRADITIONAL MEANING

  Intelligent, passionate woman. Straight talk. Good friend. Elegant wife.

  ROMANCE READING

  Ever been called a bitch by a man…because you disagreed with him?

  Ever been called...intimidating?

  Are you, shall we say, a bit blunt with your thoughts?

  Then you understand this queen. What others don't know is this: She loves fiercely and strongly and would kick the butt of anyone who messed with the friend she just chewed out for going out on a date with YET ANOTHER unemployed musician.

  The Queen has intellect and drive and puts up with very little stupid.

  And, underneath all that beats a passionate and tender heart, indeed.

  This is the Queen of Swords personified. She seems rather tough on the outside, and she is, but she is a powerful, good-hearted, deeply loyal friend and partner, and would make any man an excellent, elegant wife. Or partner in crime.

  …He had better have a strong sense of self, though. Domineering, smothering, indecisive or unambitious men need not apply.

  She is traditionally depicted as a redhead or a brunette, but this is, again, a traditional depiction, and should not be taken as a must in any way.

  POSSIBLE OUTCOME

  The Queen will choose the right thing. By right thing, I mean she chooses what is best for herself. Everyone else will just have to deal with it.

  KING OF SWORDS

  TRADITIONAL MEANING

  Strong, intellectual man. Critical thinking. Critical words. Cool head.

  ROMANCE READING

  Danger! Danger! Danger!

  Ok, maybe not DANGER, but…um, danger. Here’s why:

  King of Swords? Sexy. Super, duper sexy. Highly intelligent, well groomed, good in business, very, very competent. James Bond is the King of Swords personified, at least at first blush, so you see where I am going here.

  Attracted to the emotionally remote? Why, you can have it in spades, with this guy! Yes, yes, he is super hot, and maybe you can win his heart, but really, his heart belongs to Daddy…and he’s Daddy. Always. Also, be prepared for lots of unsolicited criticism about, well, everything. Do not ask him if you look fat in that dress unless you really want to know.

  Is your self-esteem so shaky that only “capturing” the one hardest to capture will do? He’s your guy!

  The upside? If he truly loves you, boy, he loves you, but you had best bring your A-game.

  I find it rather exhausting, myself.

  POSSIBLE OUTCOME

  Expect some criticism to come your way. Whether it is justified, fair, or true is up to you. Think carefully, and don’t let someone else dim your shine!

  THE SUIT OF PENTACLES

  Image copyright J. Daniels with elements used with permission.

  ACE OF PENTACLES

  The Pentacles (sometimes called the Coins) are eminently practical, and are often concerned with work and money. They also most certainly have a role to play in romance readings. For example, they are marvelous boosters and grounders! They make the nice cards nicer and the flaky cards stronger and more stable, and that is a marvelous thing! Also, one should never discount the role money plays in a relationship. The lack of it can cause a great deal of stress, and a great deal of it can affect the dynamic of a relationship if there is an imbalance of power between the Have and the Have Not. Let's dig in, shall we?

  TRADITIONAL MEANING

  New business venture, the start of a new undertaking that is prosperous. Wealth.

  ROMANCE READING

  I really like the Ace of Pentacles a lot.

  It's a very friendly card indeed, and while all the Aces have a nice effect on a reading (generally making it more positive and mitigating the negative cards in a spread), I find that the Ace of Pentacles is the most powerful of the Aces for this. This card tamps down the negatives for even Big Bads like the Tower, or the Nine of Swords, and can sometimes reduce them to mere unpleasant little moments. In a romance spread, the Ace of this suit symbolizes plenty, abundance and the freedom that financial security brings to a romance. It could be that your suitor is prosperous, and that you will have luxe adventures together. This is especially true if the World, the Empress or The Emperor is present. Just watch out for the Emperor, as he can be very controlling with his combination of power, entitlement and money.

  If you are looking for an old school provider and protector, well, he's your guy, but remember there are downsides to that kind of control.

  Watch out also if this card is paired with The Devil. Money seduces and excess is easy with this combination. Brace yourself for the hangover, if you overindulge.

  POSSIBLE OUTCOME

  This is a brilliant card to have as an outcome card. Happy days are here again! Whatever your concern, there is a new, prosperous, and sensual change of circumstance about to take place.

  TWO OF PENTACLES

  TRADITIONAL MEANING

  Borrowing from Peter to pay Paul. Low on funds but light of heart. Juggling work life and home life

  ROMANCE RE
ADING

  This card concerns itself with everyday life, so when it appears in a romance spread you have a few ways to interpret it that are perfectly legit, depending on the querant's circumstances.

  In one scenario, this means that things have gotten a little stale. NOT BAD, I want to be clear, but things possibly have become routine and comfortable and that is both nice…and dangerous. Not only is variety the spice of life, but doing things that are even a tiny bit new together, like trying a new restaurant or even playing a new game or having a tiny adventure, can strengthen and deepen a bond between couples. Try it and see if you don't look at your sweetie with fresh eyes.

  Or, in another interpretation of the Two of Pentacles, you might be at a crossroads in the relationship and a choice will be made soon. Do you move in together? Maybe get engaged? This card is a minor, rather than loud and colorful, indication of this happening in the near future. It might not be the Big Proposal, but certainly someone is thinking about upping the ante in your romance.

  POSSIBLE OUTCOME

  Look for a decision to be made regarding your relationship. As this is not a negative card, it will be a positive outcome, but maybe not momentous...yet.

  THREE OF PENTACLES

  TRADITIONAL MEANING

  Moving from Journeyman to Master. Coming together to create something important. Commitment.

  ROMANTIC READING

  Context is king with the Three of Pentacles, but in all romantic permutations it is positive. This is a card sharply affected by the other cards in the spread, but it does stand alone as a positive card, suggesting that a new level of commitment is in the works for your relationship.

  For a person already in a relationship, when this card appears in a spread with the Usual Suspects of Big Romance (Lovers, Two and Ten of Cups, The Star, The Sun), there might be an engagement or proposal coming within the next year.