Love Tarot for Beginners

by Jhone Daniels

  For a person who is single and dating, the Three of Pentacles suggests that more than one quality person is out there for you, so take heart!

  For a person in a difficult relationship, this card can sometimes mean that there is a third person, waiting in the wings, should this relationship collapse. This is doubly so should the Seven of Swords (clever duplicity wins the game!) or the charming and seductive Magician appear in the spread.

  POSSIBLE OUTCOME

  Everything written about this card above is enhanced in an outcome position. Be sure to look at other cards in the spread to see which way the wind blows.

  FOUR OF PENTACLES

  TRADITIONAL MEANING

  Miserly behavior. Valuing possessions over experiences or people.

  ROMANCE READING

  Have you ever dated someone who seemed very charming at first, but rather quickly devolved into this new and heartbreaking person who is emotionally stingy, not particularly affectionate, obviously afraid of intimacy, and highly protective of their space? Someone who, for some reason, stuck around in your life, assuring your mutual unhappiness until you finally end it in a tearful tornado of frustration and bewilderment? (whew!)

  You have had a Four of Pentacles Experience!

  This card is a clear cut representation of the Emotionally Avoidant attachment style, and people of this orientation can only handle small amounts of intimacy before a very powerful and fearful need to control the space between you kicks in, leaving you feeling confused and lonely. These are not bad people, but they won’t be able to come around easily. You can’t love them “better”.

  Watch out for someone who engages in little cruelties in order to upset you and confirm their unconscious belief that romance is more trouble than it is worth. Painful stuff.

  Look for any of the following cards to confirm this: the Five of Swords (fighting for funsies!), the Eight of Swords (a prison of your own making, but one from which you can easily escape), the Two of Swords (emotional withdrawal/unavailability, rejection of love), and The Hermit (a desire to be alone and control your environment).

  On the other side of the coin, and depending on where this card falls in a spread, it can mean that you are feeling possessive in a way that is focused more on “acquiring” the person you want, in an almost objectifying way, rather than truly caring for them.

  The Emperor landing in a spread along with this card is strong affirmation of this tendency to objectify.

  Finally and again, as with most Pentacles, context is so important. This card might represent a less complex but equally vexing issue, such as who controls the purse strings in your relationship? Is money a source of friction between you? Time to talk about it before it festers!

  Careful discernment and self-awareness is needed to interpret this card correctly. Keep an open mind regarding your own behavior!

  POSSIBLE OUTCOME

  As an outcome card, this does suggest the object of your affection is emotionally remote, and focused on things other than you. It is maddening to see someone who was once warm and charming slowly back out the door, figuratively or literally! If you see it happening, try to let them go. No amount of careful behavior on your part is going to fix this. It’s really not you.

  ….unless it is. Again, watch for possessiveness and attempts to control others purely to calm your own fears.

  FIVE OF PENTACLES

  TRADITIONAL MEANING

  Sadness. Loneliness. Financial instability. Business failure. Feeling left out.

  ROMANCE READING

  Oh dear!

  Here’s the good news, Star Pirate: Tarot speaks in big bold symbols, and the extreme representations of misery on the cards often only manifest as dainty poop sandwiches you have to nibble on a bit, and then toss.

  Here’s the bad news: There’s a dainty poop sandwich in your future.

  Or at least, there might be, if you don’t take things in hand right away. This IS traditionally a card of breakup. I won’t mince words here. This is a classic card of being Separated From What You Want Very Much. …BUT…

  Sometimes this is just a miserable fight that nearly ends your relationship. You recover, but it takes a while.

  Sometimes it means your partner loses a job and is terrified and miserable, so please be gentle and try not to fan their freak-out flames with your own fears.

  Sometimes it means you are having an extreme emotional reaction to something that is actually not all that dire. Perspective is needed.

  A traditional illustration of this card always shows a ragged, freezing family outside a beautiful home whose light filled windows show a scene of a table groaning with abundant food, cheer and warmth, and this might be just how you feel right now: like everyone is having a great time but you, and you will never, ever be happy again.

  Look for positive cards in the spread to mitigate this. If The World is in the spread, it means that this pain you feel now is only the ending of a miserable phase of your life, and you are on to bigger and better things! If the Sun appears, it means you come upon a revealed truth that makes staying in the relationship impossible, but thank goodness you know!

  If Death appears, well, it’s over. I mean really over. The bandage was ripped off on the count of “one.” This is doubly so if the Tower appears, and it is entirely out of your control, and not your fault.

  Other Five cards in the spread add to the punch of Pentacles, especially the Five of Cups. Fives are bummers in Tarot, generally, but the least of them is the Wands. If the Five of Wands appears with this card, you have a good chance of fighting your way back to a good place, if you keep a cool head.

  If the Big Daddy of “Fives” appears in a spread as well, The Heriophant (Major Arcana #5), it means that adopting a very reserved, traditional, calm and classy demeanor will go a long way towards softening the effects of this card.

  No matter what happens, how you feel now is not how you will feel forever.

  POSSIBLE OUTCOME

  This is where loss is especially likely. I hope it’s only a tiny bite of that sandwich.

  SIX OF PENTACLES

  TRADITIONAL MEANING

  Generosity, philanthropy, charity. Taking care of others. Financial success. Fairness

  ROMANCE READING

  This is a very straightforward card, and the interpretation of it is either positive or less than positive depending on which way the wind is blowing with respect to the other cards in the spread.

  Fairness and balance in a relationship are the main themes of this card, so often and most likely the Six of Pentacles just states that in this relationship both of you have a strong sense of fairness, balance and generosity. You care that each other’s needs are well met. Both of you contribute equally to the relationship, with the knowledge that giving even more than just 50% makes it all work.

  The only time this card is unfavorable is when negative cards are present as a majority in the spread. Then this card suggests a “one down” position for someone in the relationship, through money, power or control.

  If this is a new relationship, be sure that everyone is on a place of equal footing.

  POSSIBLE OUTCOME

  Having this card in the outcome position is favorable! This suggests fairness and material comfort is to be had in this relationship. Even more importantly, you are both on the same page with regard to your needs, wants and hopes for the future. Good stuff!

  SEVEN OF PENTACLES

  TRADITIONAL MEANING

  Efforts made will reap rewards. Pausing to reflect.

  ROMANCE READING

  There is a famous example of psychological bias called The Sunk Costs Fallacy. This is normally about business, but it can easily apply to relationships as well. It boils down to this: We often stick with someone despite all signs pointing to a poor fit. We stay because we have poured effort and energy into this romance, dating is so dang hard, and leaving now feels like quitting too soon. We have already invested so much, we think we are so close, but bas
ically we perceive the relationship has greater value than it objectively does.

  Bleh.

  In fact, this is such an effective bias that we often throw “good money after bad” in an effort to salvage past choices. Rarely a good idea!

  The Seven of Pentacles is here to help you step back, breathe, and assess. It’s a pause to refresh, as it were.

  In this card a young man is looking rather melancholy, and is leaning on his hoe, gazing upon a garden rich with pentacle coins. Now is the moment right before harvest, and things look good.

  Why the long face, then? He is deciding if the work was worth the reward.

  You might soon be at a tipping point where you decide if this relationship is one worthy of deeper investment. The cards around it, and of course, your personal experience, will answer that.

  There is nothing wrong at all with pulling back a bit and assessing the value and possible future of your romance before you sink any more of yourself, your time, effort and money into it. The opportunity to do that is soon upon you.

  Just because you invested time and effort and love into something doesn’t mean it can give you back what you need. Look carefully at the situation you are in, and take heart…there is nothing negative about this card, as you will either realize you are happy and wanting to go forward, or that you need to take your ball and go home.

  For a single person, it’s the moment before you sign up for a dating site, or go to that party. In this instance I would encourage the investment, as it could pay off big!

  POSSIBLE OUTCOME

  Decision time! Take some time and look at this relationship. Could be a tipping point of commitment!

  EIGHT OF PENTACLES

  TRADITIONAL MEANING

  Hard work and dedication. Doing what needs to be done. Small gains over time.

  ROMANCE READING

  I know what you are thinking. Ho Hum. Not a very romantic card. A man at a bench, hammering out pentacle stamped shields. Laborious work, and he currently looks none too prosperous.

  Looks can be deceiving!

  I think the Eight of Pentacles is one of the most romantic of the Pentacle cards, and here’s why:

  The Eight of Pentacles is a card of loyalty and commitment. This card represents a person who is going to stay and work hard to make a relationship stable and happy. He or she is the person who is loyal through the tough times, willing to go to therapy to learn how to communicate better, and generally shows up like a grown up. He’s a mensch, and She’s a devoted, kind hearted, emotionally intelligent soul.

  This is not a flighty person. In a world that increasingly values non-committal “chill” over earnest expressions of intent, desire and devotion -- this is very romantic indeed!

  The only drawback to this card is that it can represent someone who might be loyal to someone unworthy of this kind of care. Make sure everyone involved is equally noble of intent!

  POSSIBLE OUTCOME

  Everyone involved intends to stick it out through the hard times. Small gains, over time, reap romantic rewards and increased bonding and connection. It can also mean small financial gains and comforts over time that make your life together easier. This is a sweet little card that should make you smile when it lands in this position. Just make sure that other negative cards in the spread don’t point to misplaced loyalty!

  NINE OF PENTACLES

  TRADITIONAL MEANING

  Luxury, comfort, being free of care. Alone in luxury.

  ROMANCE READING

  A lovely card on its own, the Nine of Pentacles is about security, luxury and comfort. Nothing wrong with that at all. This card, though, also tends to mean that you enjoy this luxury alone.

  It could be that your desire for emotional space and comfort and security means you hold people at arm’s length as a form of self-protection, or that your romantic interest does this to you.

  This is not a card of deep feeling. There could be a shallowness to the company you share. There is no emotional ugliness to this card, but that is because there is little in the way of deep emotion present at all.

  If this card is in a position that represents the other person in your life, beware of the seductive delights of nice dating experiences and the traditional trappings of romance rather than a more genuine and soulful connection. It might surprise you that all these grand gestures don’t mean much to the person dazzling you with adventure.

  POSSIBLE OUTCOME

  Alor...style over substance! It will be fun for a while, and you might enjoy some nice little adventures together, but don’t expect high romance. It’s just not likely to be found here.

  Or -- maybe that is just what you need right now?

  TEN OF PENTACLES

  TRADITIONAL MEANING

  Wealth. Inheritance. Material comfort.

  ROMANCE READING

  There is a lot to be said for material comfort. Takes a great deal of stress away from day-to-day life, and that can be wonderful. Studies suggest most fights between couples are money stress related. Evidence of deeply secure comfort is depicted in the Ten of Pentacles, and it does suggest that becoming part of a wealthy family, or receiving an inheritance, could be in your future.

  What this card does not promise, though, is emotional happiness. It’s not a negative card at all, but one of the central meanings of this card is “luxury and comfort can sometimes mean boredom rather than happiness.” While it is hard to imagine this being true as you struggle to pay the bills, there are plenty of famous people in the world who can confirm the fact that all the material comfort one can imagine does not assure happiness.

  Now, having said that…all this goes out the window in a spread that has one or more of these: Ace of Cups, Two of Cups, Lovers, or the Emperor and Empress together in a spread…then, whoa! Fairy tale stuff, either on a grand scale, or a smaller, sweeter and more manageable scale, is possible here.

  Very Happily Ever After. Good Luck!

  POSSIBLE OUTCOME

  The same meaning as an outcome card as stated above! Look for romance cards to be included in the spread to assume emotional happiness. Watch out for negative cards that suggest a comfortable but cold partnership.

  PAGE OF PENTACLES

  TRADITIONAL MEANING

  Thoughtful young person. Well off. Intelligent and practical. Careful focus and discernment.

  ROMANCE READING

  The young person depicted in the Page of Pentacles is as smart and practical as they come. All the Pages have their defining romantic characteristics: Wands are emotional passion, Cups are love, Swords intellectual connection…and the Pentacles are about sex! Surprising, I know, but by sex I don’t mean the sweeping, loving, passionate kind found in the other suits. I mean the “sex is fun, so let’s do it” sort of casual encounter that can be fun, but lacking in deeper connection.

  Also, watch out. This Page is smart but less emotionally invested than most, and can easily walk away from situations others might cling to.

  This is not a bad person (unless other cards around him confirm that idea). This is just a person who enjoys things on a simple, material level, rather than a soulful or heartfelt one.

  OUTCOME

  A wait and see outcome. Pages are “New Relationships”…new romances. So now is the time to observe and enjoy, rather than decide or attempt to control.

  He might be a nice, handsome, practical guy you enjoy as a friend with benefits. Or, you might wonder why this guy seems like such a catch on paper, but is such a false start in person. Observe!

  KNIGHT OF PENTACLES

  TRADITIONAL MEANING

  Calm person. Well off man. Devoted Man. Earthy person. Constancy.

  ROMANCE READING

  Ahh.

  This is where we meet the first of the three most gracious, committed in love, generous and warmly open “people” in Tarot.

  In a traditional Tarot deck, the Knight of Pentacles is the only knight that isn’t galloping, running, bucking or otherwise being ADVENTURE
BOY.

  He is instead fancily dressed in dark dress armor, sitting calmly on a large, black, gorgeous horse that is well groomed and standing still. Grapes and vines are a motif for the Pentacles and are all around him, symbolizing wine, pleasure, and wealth.

  If you are looking for a passionate, committed, ardent, and most of all STEADFAST partner in love, you really can’t go wrong here. If there is a downside to this knight, it may be that people who need constant variety and excitement might find him a little dull. These are also people who find actual intimacy a daunting thing to be avoided. Let them go off and have their doomed romances. This Knight is here to stay, and will say so.

  Bonus: he is a thoughtful and attentive lover.

  Good times.

  POSSIBLE OUTCOME

  SCORE! Fist pump. What a catch! Your mother will be terribly pleased! Even as a circumstance this card stands for calm, tranquil, secure abundance. Nice!

  QUEEN OF PENTACLES

  TRADITIONAL MEANING

  Gracious, generous host. Beautiful home and thoughtful care. A kind and loving woman.

  ROMANCE READING

  The Queen of Pentacles is the epitome of someone who in the past might have been referred to as a Very Classy Broad.

  And she is. The man who has her in his life is a lucky, lucky man. She is warm and kind and sensual and creates beautiful homes and is emotionally and materially generous to a fault. She is a nurturer and a giver and a cook and a homemaker supreme (when not possibly running her own law firm!).

  Our Queen of Pentacles doesn’t do well with poverty, though. She will be gracious and kind even in struggle but, seriously, she needs her comforts. Like the Empress, a starving artist’s life is not for her. Having said that, of course, when she visits starving artists she brings homemade lasagna and wine and good cheer.