Bullets Will Work: A Vampire Slayer Novel

by Geoffrey C Porter

  Chapter Eleven

  The doors to the pharmacy were closed and the lights off. Somebody pushed an aluminum baseball bat into my hands. I smacked the door with it. The glass didn't shatter or break. The bounce hurt my hands.

  Screw this. I drew my .45 and plugged the door. It made about a five-inch spider web. I fired twice more. The glass didn't shatter. I hit it with the bat again. Nathan said, "Step aside."

  I sighed.

  Nathan fired his sniper rifle at the locking mechanism on the door. "Hit it now."

  I hit the door as hard as I could with the bat. The door flew open, crashing against the retaining wall with a loud bang. I looked around to see if we'd drawn in any wild ones. I handed the bat back to the guy who gave it to me. Well, his name was Pup, same Pup who'd been around all along. I really don't know where he'd gotten the baseball bat. Must have picked it up when he put the belt fed gun away.

  Dawn produced a blindingly bright LED flashlight, and I followed her into the pharmacy. Pup, Erin, and Nathan followed me in. The store wasn't looted, and I found a milk chocolate with caramel inside candy bar and ate it. Erin glared at me. "What?" I asked.

  "You can't just eat candy all the time," she said.

  "Are you a nutritionist?"

  "Yes."

  I nodded. "The next time I see some nice leafy greens, I'll devour them."

  She kicked me on the shin, and she can kick pretty hard.

  Dawn pointed that damn flashlight into my eyes. "Get the food. Haul it outside. First aid supplies, too."

  We hauled stuff outside. Dawn approached Bill. She got pills out of two big bottles. "Take these."

  He groaned. "Two antibiotics?"

  "You may need both," Dawn said.

  We didn't have room in the vehicles for everything out of the pharmacy. The soda was warm. So was the beer, but that didn't stop people. Thankfully they stopped after one or two cans. We headed back to I-70. The road wasn't blocked. We made really good time. The left lane was always clear, like somebody had come through with a wrecker and pulled burned out cars out of the way.

  A helicopter started to follow us. I knew it was a bad sign. I pulled out my satellite phone, dialed Agent Nine. It rang and rang. It connected to a recorded message.

  "This phone is only manned from noon to one o'clock Eastern Standard Time."

  I looked at my watch. Hell, I didn't have a watch. I looked at the clock on my satellite phone, it was almost three.

  I shut the phone down. We reached Topeka, Kansas, but we didn't even slow down. We passed up Salina, too. I figure we'd need gas, and gas stations dotted the side of the road every so often. We stopped at one at dinner time. People seemed like they wanted to camp for the night. A cornfield stretched out in every direction from the station. I really had no reason to argue. We had no fuel for a fire, so we ate canned goods right out of the cans. Cold corn was pretty boring, but I guess it had more nutrients than the stockpiles of chocolate we possessed.

  The sun set. Trucks drove by on I-70. I kind of wanted to stop the trucks and talk to the drivers, but I couldn't see an advantage to that. I couldn't sleep after Dawn and I fornicated. I sat up with Nathan's rifle. Different people on watch tried to convince me to sleep. For some reason, I felt I should stay up. And I couldn't sleep no matter what I tried. Part of that was fear of the dreams I'd been having.

  The sun rose. Somehow, Dawn managed to produce frying pans and gas powered heater things. I don't know where the eggs came from, but they smelled ok. The bacon smelled fine, and there was enough for everybody. We ate. Then we all died from food poisoning. No, we hit I-70, and the caravan's speed slowly crept up into the seventy mph range.

  I fell asleep to the smooth vibrations of the vehicle. I dreamed of a vampire. But it wasn't just any vampire. It was the leader of the vampires. He sat at a kind of terminal that was clearly homemade, with wires and circuit boards attached to it. A lot of blinky lights. I was in his head. He looked up through a window. A giant satellite dish pointed into the sky that was controlled by the terminal. His mind was angry with a rage. He felt my presence and smiled.

  "We'll meet someday," he said.

  I didn't say anything. I had no control of myself or my surroundings. Struggling to do something, I stirred awake. The sun was high in the sky. A sign said, "Welcome to Colorado."

  Erin handed me a chocolate bar and smiled. "We're not stopping. We're too close."

  "Some of us might need to go to the bathroom," I said.

  Nathan reached into a bag of goodies and pulled out a bag of fruit flavored chewy snacks. "Hold it or pee in a bottle."

  Hell no. I reached over and nudged Henry, our driver. "We have to stop."

  Erin snatched the chocolate out of my hands. "None for you!"

  We stopped. I didn't want to tell the others about the dreams I was having, but I did relieve the pressure on my insides.

  Chapter Twelve

  We got back on the road. It was a two-lane country road. Henry pushed the gas too far, and he couldn't slow down in time, and we all died. No, I was back in dreamland. I was in some vampire's skull. She was working in some modern poultry factory, pushing carts of eggs into trucks. I tried to jump to a different vampire. It didn't work at first.

  I tried harder. I didn't try and steer. Slowly, I did something different. I chose a direction and pulled. My mind's eye traveled in a straight line across the terrain. Zoom. Then I was in another vampire. This vampire was playing a video game on a game console. I wanted to jump again. Picking a direction, I shoved. My mind traveled in another straight line. I couldn't turn or anything. The dream world was no fun, and a nagging headache was creeping into my temples. I willed myself awake.

  Erin and Nathan were in the back seat hoarding food. I could use fluid too, even if a warm soda or iced tea. Water would be best. The afternoon sun beat on us with big sticks. I reached into the food bag. White cheddar popcorn. That would do. Erin tried to take the popcorn from me, and I gave her my evil eye.

  Nathan, the good kid, handed me a bottle of water.

  I often forgot that Erin and Nathan were basically sixteen, at best seventeen. Too young for the end of the world, but they've stayed strong and quick.

  Henry started to slow down. The road was blocked up ahead. Very intentionally blocked. A camera and outdoor speakers stood in front of the blockage.

  "We're a couple miles from home," Erin said.

  I climbed out of the convertible and approached the camera.

  A voice spoke through the speakers, and the camera turned to point at me. "Sidney?"

  "And my people," I said.

  "Leave the vehicles. It's 1.5 miles march."

  I closed my eyes. "We have two injured people. One leg wound, and a shoulder wound."

  "Shit."

  "You need to send a bus or something, and give us an alternate route."

  The guy started rattling off directions. Back five miles, a left, a right, a dirt road. It was all too much for my brain. Dawn came running up with a prescription pad and a pen. I took those from her.

  "Can you repeat all that?" I asked.

  I scribbled notes. Like it was totally impossible to use good handwriting on a prescription pad. We headed back in a caravan. When we reached the dirt road, Henry slowed down. We seemed stuck on the dirt road forever. Part of my mind started to drift, but I wanted to stay awake so bad. The road was bumpy at best. I said, "Keep it slow, Henry."

  "Aye-Aye."

  Henry slowed down even more. Soon we were staring into a cannon on a damn tank. A guy poked his head up from inside the tank. "Turn left," he said. Yes, turn left.

  The tank pulled out of the way. We followed the road. A wall stretched out in front of us, and a gate stood in our way. The gate moved. A crowd of people rushed us. Two of them brought wheelchairs. An older woman, nearly sixty, with chocolate skin and no gut, approached me.

  "I'm Jules, I'm in charge," this beautiful older woman said.

  Dawn pushed forward. "Housing? S
howers? Moonshine?"

  "All those things, but there is something critical we must discuss first."

  "What?" I asked.

  "Sixty-seven installations like ours exist worldwide. The world leaders that remain have been negotiating terms of our surrender. Chances are mankind is doomed to live as slaves."

  Rage burned in my heart. Negotiating our surrender?

  Jules seemed to sense my rage. "Our last bargaining chip is total nuclear destruction. Humans have enough nukes to blast every population center on Earth. Vampires have enough mobile artillery to flatten every human outpost."

  "Why are you telling us this?" Dawn asked.

  "I want you to know the score. Don't get too excited about your new home. It may not last."

  "Show me to the moonshine."

  "Are you the leader?" Jules asked.

  Dawn shook her head. "No, idiot-boy is leader. Sidney."

  "Follow me."

  Dawn followed. And since I knew I'd get laid if I followed too, I walked behind her. Slowly, thoughts began to cross through my mind. Maybe even visions. Pictures of a future where everybody lived in a food farm. A world, where if I did have a child, they'd be treated like cattle. Jules produced a wooden crate of jars, and Dawn took it. Jules led us to a room. She pushed the door open, "Home."

  I was so excited to see functioning plumbing that I immediately used those facilities. As I stepped back into the common room, Jules said, "Dinner is at six."

  "I'm just going to drink," Dawn said.

  Doom started to creep into my thoughts. Nuclear destruction was our last hope? Blanket the globe in clouds of sun blocking debris and radiation.

  I leaned to Dawn's ear and whispered for no reason. "The drug you gave me in the hospital? You have some of that drug?"

  Dawn set her jar of poison down. "It's medicine, not a drug, but yes, I have some."

  "I want the same dose you gave me in the hospital."

  Dawned looked confused, for sure, but she reached in her bag, and produce a white and blue pill. "Eighty milligrams. Why?"

  I put it in my breast pocket. I wanted to wait until after dinner. "Last time I took that drug, I was in their neural network. I've been drifting in and out of their network for days in my sleep. I just want to go exploring."

  "You've been drifting in and out of their neural network, and you didn't tell anybody?"

  "Yes, but it's been made clear, I'm an idiot."

  She smiled and kissed me.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Dinner was a feast with lots of fresh, leafy greens. Dawn and I went back to our room. She forced me to breed before I took the magic pill. She really didn't force me. Smiling at me and naked, she was all I could ask for. "Take my gun," I said. She took it and left.

  I swallowed the pill. I was expecting an immediate reaction. Why I didn't know. It hit me that it'd likely take time to work. Then boom, I shifted to a different set of eyes. I was in a big rig barreling down I-70. The radio was going. I chose a direction and jumped. Traveling in a perfect straight line, I landed in a new vampire.

  This vampire was working on a pig farm, hosing down shit out of small cubicles that the pigs lived in. I focused on Jarken, their leader. Remembering how it felt to be in his mind, I jumped. I was inside him. He was once again at a homemade terminal. Some kind of helmet was attached to his head. His thoughts betrayed his actions. He was using the terminal and the satellite or cell phone tower above to control the neural network.

  I bounced from vampire to vampire from there. Trying to stay close to Jarken, but figure out a better glimpse of where he was. In my heart, I knew, this was the end of days, and if one person, one thing could be blamed, it was Jarken. I got a couple of glimpses of some of the terrain around the building Jarken was in, but it was mostly brambles and trees. Green foliage outside of every window.

  I felt it was time to experiment more. I was in a vampire driving a harvester. She was bringing in an early crop of corn. I grabbed hold of her hand and spun the wheel on the harvester. She growled at me. "What are you doing?"

  Exploring came out of my mind before I could even think to block my thoughts.

  She wrenched control of her arm back and steered the combine back on track. I didn't struggle. "You're turning?" She asked.

  I guess, floated out of my mind.

  "You were bitten twice, to become a master?" She queried.

  Yes.

  I pulled on her arm again, hard, with all my might. The wheel spun, and she fought me. The vehicle started going in circles. She yelled, "Release me!"

  I jumped to a new vampire. This creature had a light attached to his head, and he was spraying weed killer. I tried to move this one's arm, to get him to spray the weedkiller in his mouth. His arm got halfway there, and he flipped into a rage, pushing me out of him.

  Jarken whispered in my mind, "Who are you?"

  I lied, "I'm George."

  "But you're not one of my children. At least not yet."

  "I don't know why I haven't turned," I said.

  "The process has simply been slowed, you'll turn in time."

  I was getting a nasty headache, and I wanted out of that network. A thousand minds stabbed at me at once. Pain raged through my body. I tried to wake up. My eyes opened, and I was back in my room, but then it wasn't a thousand minds stabbing at me, but ten thousand. Pain ravaged my body. Every muscle, every joint ached. Even my penis and balls hurt. Especially my balls. I held onto those nuggets of life and screamed.

  The assaults on my body didn't stop. My heart raged in my chest. Every nerve was sparked. I writhed on the ground and convulsed. Dawn was at my side in an instant. She tried to get an IV going, but I was writhing around too much. She shoved a pill in my mouth, and I almost bit into her fingers. "Chew it," she said with a growl.

  I chewed it. It was not orange flavored. It was bitter and gross. I swallowed the whole mess. What had been ten thousand stabs of pain, became more than I could ever hope to count. Whatever Dawn had given me started to work, and numbness began to spread in my body. The neural network was stronger, and I shouted, "More!"

  My beautiful partner shoved another pill in my mouth. I blacked out. My mind drifted among the stars and galaxies. Just traveling. Sun creeping through the window woke me. A naked person was pressed against me, and it was Dawn. I grabbed hold of her and squeezed.

  My mouth was parched. My whole body ached like every joint was arthritic and every muscle pulled. My skin was prickly everywhere I touched anything. The thirst was the worst part of it, and I somehow managed to get to the sink and get water. My throat felt better, but to a very minor degree, what I thirsted for was blood, not water.

  I climbed in the shower, and Dawn joined me. We stayed in there for almost an hour. I wanted to be clean so bad, and it seemed like no matter how many times I applied soap I still felt grimy and dirty. Hunger began to gnaw at my insides.

  We sat down in a common room and ate lunch. Jules walked up to our table.

  "Everybody in your group needs to be assigned jobs, as soon as possible," she said.

  "I agree," I said.

  "Good."

  "Do we still have access to satellite photos? A computer?" I asked.

  Jules nodded. "Why?"

  "I'm looking for something."

  Chapter Fourteen

  Jules raised one eyebrow. "There's something you haven't told us."

  "Idiot boy can tap into their neural network," Dawn said.

  A quiet permeated the room while eyes slowed turned on me.

  I stood up. I told everybody about being bitten, the antidote, and the dreams.

  "I want to talk to you in private," Jules said. She put her tray in a slot. I followed her.

  She stopped at a door. "You think you've got something useful?"

  "The leader of the vampires is Jarken. He lives in a big house, with a cell phone tower on site. It's how he controls the neural network, I think."

  "Killing him might make a difference," she said,
"but it might not."

  The piece of shit needed to die regardless. "How many deaths is he responsible for?"

  "Millions."

  I nodded.

  She pushed the door open. Inside the room were computers. There seemed to be a constant hum from fans. It was about five degrees warmer in the room than in the hallway. Jules waved at the machines. "I can find you a laptop."

  Wait, I had a laptop, supposedly with software to tie into satellites. "I have a laptop if we can find a charger."

  "We don't have any spare chargers, and your laptop is milspec. It's going to require a special charger."

  I let out a little whimper. "I'd rather have a laptop to work on than work in this sauna."

  "Does that mean you'd rather wash dishes after meals or work in the fields?" Jules asked.

  "I'm not picky. I'll do my share."

  "Find Jarken and kill him, for all of us, that's your share."

  Fair enough. Jules pulled a loaded laptop sleeve off a shelf and handed it to me. "The login to this machine is simply moonshine. Power supply in the pouch. Battery is mostly useless."

  "How do I access the satellite data?" I asked.

  "Most of the Internet is still working."

  "Okay."

  "We could just use a nuke on him," Jules said.

  "And kill how many millions? Plus, really, I'm not going to know until I'm right on him if it's really his mansion."

  "The second point makes sense, the first, not so much."

  I shrugged. I walked back to my room. Dawn was passed out on the bed, surrounded by a dozen empty jars that once contained moonshine.

  I let her sleep. We had a kind of lounge area in another room, and I booted the laptop. It took a few minutes to become responsive. I pulled up satellite photos. I was pretty sure I was looking for something in America, but that is as narrow as I could get. Reality is I wasn't even sure about that. I spent hours and hours poring over images. I needed to be back in the neural network, but I hesitated. The pain from last time left a permanent scar on my psyche.

  I crawled in bed with Dawn. An alarm clock woke us moments later. She groaned.