Bullets Will Work: A Vampire Slayer Novel

by Geoffrey C Porter

  "I have to get to the clinic," she said. "My shift starts at five."

  The clock said four.

  Enough time for nookie and I pulled her in close. She slapped me. "Not before work."

  "I need another pill to get into the neural network."

  "After last time, you cannot do that without somebody being around. Get your rest. Later."

  She left me. I drifted to sleep. I was back in the neural network, but it was foggy, and again I had no control. But I knew, if I jumped, I'd move to a different vampire. So I did. The vampire I was in was draining an old woman dry, killing her. I didn't want him to notice my presence, and I jumped again.

  I landed in a truck driver's head. He seemed to be in some kind of rage.

  Third delivery this week. Six-hour drive. Jarken must be kept happy. I peered out through his eyes. We were going down an old country road. It was paved, but only one lane going in each direction. No shoulder really or emergency lanes. I tried to focus on staying in the driver.

  World has gone to shit, no matter what Jarken says. Without humans, we've lost so much. And Jarken rules now? No democracy no rights?

  The vampire was obviously furious. We drove to an intersection, but there were no street signs. We passed an Indiana state route sign that said 27. At least I think it was an Indiana state route. We just drove through there not six days ago. We pulled into a little town, but I was too excited to focus on more street signs. Plus the driver's rage was uncontrollable, it was like being a cage match, but we weren't fighting, just ranting.

  The truck pulled down a driveway, and the mansion stood at the end of it. It was largely overgrown with foliage. Like all the invasive plant species common in North America had been allowed to spawn and take root, without being checked in any way.

  Places like Indiana and Ohio got so much rain that they were basically jungle if left unchecked. And it was evident in this domicile. Three other men and two women came out of the structure. The driver exited the vehicle. He undid a lock on the back of the truck and slid the door open.

  People were on the floor of the truck with hands bound behind their back. The vampires who came out of the house, picked them up one by one and hauled them into the house.

  I did my best jump maneuver to move to a different vampire. I wanted to wake up. A hand caressed my cheek. My mind stirred awake, and Dawn was above me, smiling at me.

  Chapter Fifteen

  I pulled her in close. "I need you so bad."

  "Come on, we're going to be late for lunch!"

  She pulled me out of bed. They were putting food away when we got there, but I was able to snatch some leafy greens and chicken salad, with baked beans on the side so I wouldn't starve to death.

  I told Dawn about the dream.

  "I worry you're going to get lost in there," she said.

  I hadn't started worrying about that yet, but I did then.

  We ate fast. Nathan and Erin approached our table.

  "What do you think of this place?" I asked.

  "It's okay," Erin said.

  Nathan rolled his eyes. "It's boring. Weed the fields, collect the eggs."

  "Maybe, just maybe," I said, "we're going back out."

  "Why?"

  "I think I know where to find Jarken."

  Erin's eyes lit up. "Find him and kill him?"

  "I don't plan to teach him how to salsa dance," I said.

  "Count us in."

  I knew they'd want in. "I need to look at satellite photos."

  Erin smiled. "You do that."

  I put my tray away, and soon I was waiting for my laptop to boot. I pulled up a map of Indiana and found route 27. None of it looked familiar, but I followed it. It was eating up the afternoon. I pushed my chair away from the table with the laptop. My head ached. I closed my eyes for a moment.

  I was in another vampire. She was filling up water bottles for humans in cages. Some of the humans refused to drink, and the vampire threatened them with a whip. She started passing out peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to the humans. Some ate. Some were largely paralyzed with fear or catatonic.

  The vampire walked up to a cage holding a young male. He was maybe sixteen or seventeen. He had refused the water and sandwich. "You're going to die," the vampire said.

  The boy didn't move.

  "We're negotiating a peace treaty, to get you out of that cage, and give you some rights and freedoms. You'll need your strength."

  The boy ate and drank.

  I wanted to cry.

  I stirred myself awake. The satellite photos were my priority. I went up and down 27. None of it reminded me of the dream. Was it just a dream? Was my sanity slowly slipping away? When was the last time I took Lithium?

  It had been three days since my last Lithium dose. I went to Dawn's medical bag and took two of the pinkish pills. Dawn poked her head into the room. "Dinnertime."

  Yeah. We went and ate. Roast beef and potatoes. I looked into Dawn's eyes. "I'm on the wrong road or something."

  Dawn let out the prettiest little sigh.

  "I don't know if my dream was dream or reality!" I exclaimed.

  "Maybe it'll help if you talk about it," Dawn said.

  "The road had a 27 sign on it. Mostly past corn fields and soybean fields. A few fields had cows. Sometimes it went through forest or a small town."

  Dawn laughed.

  "Don't laugh at me, my penis isn't that small," I said.

  "Your penis is fine. I'm laughing, because there is a 27 in Kentucky."

  "Kentucky?!"

  "South of Ohio."

  Oh man. First, I needed to get naked with Dawn, then after that more satellite photos. The photos looked just like the Indiana ones. Except just south of Lexington, I started to remember from my dream. Yes. Within another hour, I was staring at a picture of a cell phone tower, and a mansion covered with brambles, vines, and tree starts.

  I curled up in bed with Dawn and slept like the dead for the first time in ages. Dawn's four o'clock alarm woke me again. I was one of the first to the dining hall for breakfast. Pup, Nathan, and Erin showed up. I said, "Sit with me." They complied. Like what were they going to do, tell me to piss off and eat by myself?

  "I found him," I said.

  Pup nodded slowly. "But can you be trusted to not give us away on our way there?"

  "What do you mean?"

  "Well, if you've been in their neural network, bouncing around, and they've seen you in there. Maybe they're going to see us coming."

  "He's right," Erin said. "Give us the location and stay home."

  Piss on that. "I'll go by myself, alone, to kill him, before I send you kids."

  Nathan slammed his fist on the table. "We're not kids. We've got more training than you by far."

  At best Erin and Nathan were seventeen. Kids. Pup was maybe nineteen.

  "Give us the location," Erin said.

  I looked at these little traitorous bastards and wench. "No."

  All three of them broke out into laughter.

  "We wouldn't try and exclude you, Sidney," Pup said. "But it is fun to fuck with your head."

  That's the last thing I needed in life was somebody fucking with my poor brain.

  "When do we leave? How many vehicles are we taking?" Nathan asked.

  "Dawn will finish up in the clinic in a few hours," I said. "We could take one big SUV or two vehicles."

  Erin held up two fingers on her right hand. "Two vehicles would be better."

  "Sure."

  Chapter Sixteen

  Jules approached our table. "You have something?"

  I smiled.

  "Kentucky," Dawn said. "South of Lexington."

  "I want an exact location," Jules said.

  I nodded. "No problem."

  "Is your satellite phone charged?"

  "Should be."

  "Stay in contact with us. Travel at night. It's possible you'll escape detection."

  Good ideas.

  Jules asked, "How many peo
ple are you taking?"

  "Just us," I said.

  "Dawn too?"

  "I need her at my side."

  "I understand," Jules said. "She has medical training. She's very valuable to us."

  "It's up to her," I said. I knew she'd want in on it. Humor Jules. "Let her finish her shift."

  I had not been getting enough rest, and I wanted nothing more than blessed sleep. "Until lunch."

  Nathan looked up at me. "We're not done. Which vehicles are we taking? How many guns? Bullets? Explosives?"

  I leaned my head back and closed my eyes. Jules and the others talked. I drifted to a new vampire. He had a female tied up, and he was shoving his dick into her. I wasn't sure if she was willing or not. I immediately jumped to a new vampire. This one was watching pornography and was erect. I moved quickly to a new host. Moving from host to host was getting easier, but the stream of sexual encounters I was having was not in my best interest. I landed in another host. He was playing video games. I was thankful. Some dungeon explorer game where he was killing monsters with an ax.

  Somebody punched my arm. I opened my eyes.

  Erin grabbed me by the lapel of my shirt and pulled me in close. "Pup and Nathan are bringing belt fed guns. I'm in charge of the sniper rifle. We're bringing twenty kilos of C-4, with two detonators. MREs. And you and Dawn are going to start using condoms."

  Okay, I added that last part about the condoms. "I need sleep."

  "You were just in a REM state," Jules said. "Do you go into their network when that happens?"

  Good guess on her part. "Sadly, yes. Sometimes it's normal stuff, like the vampires are normal people. Other times blood and pain."

  "Stimulants." She said that one word, and I kind of shivered. I needed my sleep.

  Pup laughed. "Good stimulants or caffeine?"

  Erin poked him in the chest. "Nothing stronger than Yerba Mate!"

  What the Hell was Yerba Mate?

  "If Sidney drifts off on the way there, it could give away your location," Jules said.

  I shook my head. "If I take a magic pill, they can detect me, and I have more control. But if I just drift in, in my sleep, they don't notice me."

  "What we can do is lay out a map for you to use," Jules said. "Drive at night, in the daytime, park under heavy trees. There's a chance."

  I wanted sleep. "I'm going to nap."

  "You leave just after nightfall."

  I went to my room. My eyelids closed, and I said a slight prayer to not enter the neural network. It almost worked too. I got some blessed sleep for a time. Dawn woke me. She was naked, and it made me happy. We had lunch with the others.

  Pup, Nathan, Erin, Dawn, and I were at a table.

  Henry approached us. "Something's up."

  I shrugged.

  "You can trust me," he said. "Did I not drive your asses a thousand miles across vampire infested wasteland?"

  "He makes a solid point," Erin said.

  Nobody said anything.

  "I hate this place," Henry said. "I'd rather be on the road out there."

  Nathan closed his eyes and may have started to whisper some prayer. "The vampires have a leader. We're going to introduce him to God."

  "You're fucking kidding me?"

  "Sidney is tied into their neural network. He found the leader. Name is Jarken."

  Before I could react or stop him, Henry pulled me in close and kissed me on the lips. I pushed him away. "I'm taken, asshole."

  "Sorry," Henry said. "I just thought you deserved some affection."

  "He gets enough from me," Dawn said.

  "I'm in," Henry said it with a tone like we weren't allowed to argue. Did I want to argue? He was a good kisser, and if Dawn died, I'd need a new thing. Actually, he drooled on me when he kissed me, which is not viable.

  Erin said, "I don't mind."

  "I'm not giving up my machine gun," Pup said.

  "I'm happy with a 9mm," Henry said.

  "Henry can drive our truck." Nathan grinned wide. "Erin and me with him. That leaves Pup and Dawn with Sidney. Solid plan. If one of the SUVs breaks down, they both seat six."

  Dawn leaned into the center of the table. "Split the explosives between each vehicle, ten kilos per, and have the detonators wired and ready to go."

  "Don't tell me this is a suicide mission," Henry said.

  Erin patted him on the hand. "Blaze of glory."

  "We're bringing moonshine?" Dawn asked.

  "That doesn't answer my question." Henry whimpered a bit.

  "Not suicide, but the odds are extremely good everybody isn't coming home."

  "My family." Henry shrugged. "All my friends except you people. All are dead. I got nothing but revenge to live for anyhow."

  "Join the crowd," Erin said.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Jules encouraged us to rest more. Dawn fell asleep. I watched her breathe for the longest time. Fighting to stay out of the neural network, I decided I'd rather double check the vehicles. Guns, ammo, explosives, food. We were missing one thing, water. I went to the storehouse and picked up four gallon jugs. In the end, I hauled twenty gallons.

  I made sure we had some of the magic water filter straws. Dawn walked out of the building towards me. She wasn't fat, but she had nice breasts. She should stay behind.

  "You're sure?" I asked.

  "I'm a better shot than you, and I'm quicker," she replied.

  Yes, maybe in her dreams.

  Nathan and Erin emerged next. Both youngsters had body armor on from head to toe. The only real difference in their frames was Erin was slightly smaller. Both had broad shoulders. They had a blade strapped to one hip, and a 9mm on the other. Erin wore a backpack, and Nathan had the sniper rifle in his hands.

  Pup and Henry came out next, walking hand in hand. No, that's not how it happened. Henry wore a backpack, and Pup had a belt fed gun in his hands. Two belts of ammo stretched across his shoulders and down his front.

  Jules approached us. She was truly beautiful even though close to sixty. Wide hips and a narrow waist plus large, but clearly firm melons. She hugged every one of us in turn.

  "You are our hope," Jules said.

  I said, "It may not help even if we succeed."

  "I'm trying to encourage you, you dumbass."

  "Is there a backup plan?"

  Jules sighed. "The day after you don't check in on the satellite phone we're calling in a massive airstrike."

  "Nukes?" Dawn asked.

  "Conventional bombs. Laser guided stuff. Enough to scorch the earth."

  "Scorched earth!" Henry said. "I like it!"

  "Blaze of glory," Erin said.

  Pup pushed forward to the center of the crowd. "You best keep that satellite phone safe and charged."

  I frowned. "I don't even have a charger for it. No electricity anyhow."

  "If you keep it off, it'll last," Jules said. "I'm worried about the two D batteries in your GPS in both SUV."

  Dawn raised one eyebrow. "They're the last D batteries in the camp?"

  "No, we have hundreds in our storage sheds."

  Then why the fuck were they not sending us with extra batteries? "Presumably you could spare a few extras for us?"

  Jules laughed loud and bright like you'd expect from a miser who found a gold coin. "There is an extra four pack of them in both glove boxes."

  The sun was setting in the distance. Dawn pulled out a bottle of pills. "Who's driving?"

  Henry and I raised our hands.

  "You take one of these," Dawn said.

  She handed us little orange pills. "They're chewable."

  Henry said, "What is it?"

  "It's a simple little thing that will keep you alert. We've been sleeping at night, and you need to stay up."

  It tasted like orange.

  "If you follow the map, you're looking at four or five hours of driving time to each tree canopy," Jules said. "Don't stop for anything."

  "The roads are clear?" I asked.

  "At leas
t one lane the whole way, vampires have cleared the roads. Try and avoid other vehicles."

  Mostly two lane roads and we're to avoid other vehicles. That's going to work so well.

  "Let's go!" I exclaimed.

  Everybody piled into the SUVs. Including one squirrel that ran out of a tree and jumped in with Pup and Henry. The SUV started no problem. I drove through the gate. The tank was full of gas. Somebody had put a memory stick in the radio, and it had a pretty solid assortment of music files. Dawn paged through the selections and found a folder full of beautifully read short fiction, and we listened to those for a while.

  As promised the road was clear. No helicopter zoomed in on us. I told myself I could drive for four or five hours and not stop to pee. My foot inched down on the gas pedal.

  "Slow down," Dawn said.

  I was pretty much driving in the middle of the road, and sometimes one lane or the other was partially blocked. It was dangerous in the dark, and I slowed down. In the distance, the red tail lights of a truck blazed. I slowed down to let the space between us grow. We were alone on the roads again.

  Nothing I could do, headlights turned into the road in front of us. They went past us on their left. An old beat up sedan. Then a pair of headlights appeared far in the distance behind Henry and Pup. I pushed the gas down and tried to distance them. They were traveling fast. I went faster still.

  We kept passing intersections, and I didn't stop for them. The vampire behind us turned off on one of those intersections. I eased the gas up.

  After a while, my bladder felt like it was going to explode, and it made my nuts ache. We pulled to a stop in a dense forest. Dawn was out of the SUV before it even stopped. I peed like a damn racehorse once I was out of the vehicle.

  For some reason, we only had three tents. Henry and Pup would sleep in one. Me and Dawn in the second. Nathan and Erin in the last one. We set up a watch order first, and everybody took turns. We ate the most amazing MREs ever. They were so delicious. I called home on the satellite phone. We made it through the day.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Dawn passed out more delicious chewable stimulants after sunset. Like it would have been illegal to bring iced coffee with us. We hit the road. Another four-hour jaunt. I drove fast, but whoever decided it was four hours, knew I'd drive fast.