by Diana Currie
“Hannah’s just been expressing her desire to go horseback riding,” Rachel said suggestively.
I glared at her and blushed. She was unbelievable.
“Oh, well I’d love to take you riding sometime, Hannah,” Aiden replied sweetly.
“I bet,” Rachel blurted, laughing. I stomped on her foot and dragged Aiden out of the kitchen.
*~*
Two nights later we were at the Phillies’ home opener. Rachel made me dress in red and white and wear my hair in pigtails. Aiden’s face was priceless when he came to pick us up. I thought he was going to mount me right there in the front hall. Every day I saw Aiden during the past week of our new and improved relationship I wanted him more than the last. After a few days I felt as though we’d picked up right where we had left off last summer, only minus the giant elephant in the room. So if Aiden and I counted those months we’d already dated then I was more than ready to take the next step with him. With any luck, the Phil’s wouldn’t be the only ones scoring tonight.
Ethan’s tickets were very good seats according to the guys; along the third base line a few rows back. We took our seats just as the game began; hotdogs and sodas in hand. Aiden described to Rachel and me what was happening as the game began. She had a better grasp on the rules than I did. Plus, I didn’t realize how hard it would be to follow what was going on without the TV announcers explaining everything. Luckily, I had Aiden’s husky voice filling that void. He’d whisper commentary like, “Did you see how our player just stole second base?” and then discreetly brush his thumb across my breast. Or, he’d explain, “now if the batter can pop out into centerfield then the guy on third can slide on home…” while running his hand up my thigh. Who knew baseball was so arousing!
After the fifth inning Rachel declared it was time for a visit to the ladies room. I followed her out of the stands and towards the concessions and restrooms. I tried telling Rachel I’d meet her by the hotdog vendor but she insisted I be her tinkle buddy. I was making some minor adjustments to my pigtails when she came up next to me to wash her hands.
“I spoke to Shane this morning,” she informed me in a serious tone, scrubbing her hands like a surgeon.
“And?” I replied a little stunned.
“These bathrooms are appalling! He was calling to check on you since you haven’t returned his calls or texts all week. He seemed worried about you.”
Oh. After Aiden and I finally parted the previous Sunday I went straight home to find out from Rachel what I’d missed after I left the Sigma Phi car wash the previous day. According to Rachel, everyone was invited back to the fraternity after the fundraiser, which was where Rachel and Ally were when Aiden had taken me out that night. Rachel said Shane and Julie declined the offer to join them and had a little argument in the parking lot in front of everyone. She couldn’t hear what it was about but I found out later from Ally that she heard them both say my name at least once.
Ally asked if I knew what Shane and Julie were fighting about but I lied and said I didn’t have any idea. She wanted me to call Shane after that and make sure he was alright. This took place barely 48 hours after I’d reunited with Aiden and I was too afraid that hearing Shane’s voice might give me second thoughts. Furthermore, I didn’t think I wanted to know the details. I could guess the content of their argument without even asking.
I hadn’t seen or spoken to Shane since, never responding to his call or text messages. I regretted avoiding him for the past eleven days since I was determined to rebuild our friendship but I just didn’t have the strength to face him then. I feared the minute I talked to him I would regret my decision to commit myself to Aiden. My time with Aiden had been wonderful and I was happy, but I wasn’t ready to put it to the test yet. I knew that if my relationship with Aiden had any chance of working then I’d have to confront Shane soon, and they would have to accept each other.
“He said you were upset over something Julie said the day of the fundraiser,” Rachel explained.
“Yes, I was. Only because she was asking me personal questions about Shane I didn’t want to answer.”
“Is that what they fought about?” she asked, excitement in her eyes.
I nodded. “I think so. I didn’t want to be stuck in the middle of it so I left.”
“So, why haven’t you talked to him since then?” she pressed. I shrugged.
“Hannah, I didn’t realize you weren’t speaking to one another so when he asked where you were I told him about Aiden.”
“You did? What did he say?” I wasn’t sure what I was hoping his reaction would be to the news. At first I hoped he would be jealous. Then, I realized how gut wrenching it would be to learn his feelings for me were strong enough to result in real jealousy. I felt my hands start shaking as I waited three incredibly long seconds for Rachel to respond.
“He was shocked, Hannah, and didn’t hide it very well. He actually sounded hurt.”
“What exactly did he say, Rachel?” I asked irritated now. All of a sudden I felt like I needed to call Shane immediately. What must he be thinking right now?
“He asked me when you two got back together and I told him last Saturday. Don’t worry; I left out the part about Aiden sleeping over practically every night since. He didn’t ask for details anyway, just wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“God, I need to talk to him,” I groaned. I couldn’t put it off any longer.
“I’m sorry I forgot to tell you before the guys picked us up. That probably would have been a better time.”
“No kidding,” I replied. “I have to call him right now, Rachel. I’ll be thinking about this all night and Aiden will get upset if he finds out.”
“What happened to your ‘Aiden and I are so open and honest with each other now’ bull crap?” she mocked.
“I will tell him about it, but not until I talk to Shane.”
“Hannah, I thought you two discussed your feelings for each other and Shane said he wanted to stay with Julie?” I nodded. “Then why are you so worried about him finding out that you have someone now too?” she questioned.
“Did he sound happy for me, Rachel?” I replied angrily.
She thought for a minute. “No, he actually stuttered a little when he asked how it happened.”
“Things are really complicated between us lately. So I need to call him. I don’t want Shane thinking I got back together with Aiden because I was upset over him!”
She raised one eyebrow. “Isn’t that precisely why you got back together with Aiden?”
“No!” I refuted. “Please tell the guys I’m in line for French fries or something. I won’t be long.”
She laughed and wished me luck before exiting the ladies room. I whipped my phone out of my pocket and dialed Shane with shaking hands.
“Hello,” he answered after a few rings.
“Hey, um, Rachel said you wanted me to call you,” I replied.
“You’ve been ignoring my calls all week, Hannah,” he said softly.
“I know, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you worry.”
“You’ve been busy,” he offered. Crap.
“Yes. Rachel told me she filled you in about Aiden.”
“I was quite surprised,” he said in a nervous laugh.
“I thought perhaps you’d be happy for me,” I said in a snippy tone.
“I am, Hannah. I want you to be happy.” I wasn’t sure if he was trying to convince me or himself with those words.
“Thank you, Shane. I wasn’t expecting Aiden to come riding in on his horse to save me either. It just sort of happened.”
As soon as I said it I wished I could take it back. I didn’t want to sound weak.
“You felt like you needed to be saved?” he asked. I could hear the regret in his voice. He knew he’d been hurting me.
“No, not exactly. I’m just trying to say that Aiden dropped back into my life at the right time,” I amended.
There was silence between us a few moments and I
wondered what Shane was thinking.
“I hated not seeing you all week. It’s like my life is thrown out of balance without you in it,” he said. “First I ignored you unfairly, and then you did the same to me. What’s happening to us?”
“I wish I knew. I’ve missed hanging out with you too. I just needed some time to focus on Aiden… adjust to having a boyfriend,” I explained. It was weird saying that word out loud but I liked it. Boyfriend.
“We need to spend some time together, just the two of us, like we did in high school,” he said abruptly.
“Um, okay,” I answered stunned.
“Is it going to be hard for us to stay close now that we’re both in relationships?” he asked, his voice sounding a little remorseful.
“Probably a little bit,” I replied honestly. “But I think it’s supposed to be that way.”
“I feel like I’m losing you,” he admitted. I laughed silently. Good. Now he knew how I’d been feeling all semester!
“Shane, that could never happen. You’re too important to me. You know that.”
There was a pause. “Regardless, we should get together soon.”
I agreed to study for midterms with him on Sunday afternoon. It would be the first time in months we’d partake in one of our usual study sessions. Shane said he was going to an 11am mass and could come over when it ended. I thought it was noteworthy that he wanted to study at my house instead of the privacy of his dorm room. Did he not trust me alone with him in his room? Did he not trust himself? I realized it was probably the thought of Julie finding out and getting the wrong impression that motivated his choice of location. He wouldn’t want to piss her off again. Either way I felt better about seeing him at my house too, knowing Ally and Rachel would be around.
I felt a little better as our phone call ended and I told him I needed to get back to our friends. It was good to have that awkward conversation about Aiden behind me. I was still nervous about the first time Aiden and Shane would have to hang out together but I’d leave that dilemma for another day. I walked out of the ladies room taking in a deep breath of air.
Concentrate, Hannah. Baseball. Phillies. Aiden. Boyfriend. Okay. Thinking of Aiden calmed my nerves as I hurried back to the stands to find him.
CHAPTER 20: SEX AND STUDYING
When I returned to the stadium seats Aiden smiled at me and took my hand. We watched the rest of the game that way, Aiden occasionally squeezing my hand affectionately. I relaxed from his touch and by the time we were leaving I’d forgotten all about my tense phone conversation with Shane.
Aiden’s car was at our house so Rachel dropped the two of us off there before she and Ethan went back to Sigma Phi. Ally was asleep when we entered the house so I put my finger over my lips to tell Aiden to be quiet.
“She’s asleep?” Aiden whispered. “It’s only ten o’clock.”
I chuckled as I tiptoed into the kitchen and told him pregnant women need more sleep than usual. I offered him a drink but he declined. I asked him if he was hungry and he shook his head, taking a step towards me. His eyes look ravenous, only not for food. I started to feel butterflies in my stomach from the way he was watching me. Aiden closed the distance between us and took a firm grip of my hips backing me up against the counter roughly. I made a noise as my ass hit the cabinets but Aiden’s mouth covered mine before I could make another sound. I wrapped my arms around his neck and tugged at the short hair at the back of his head. He rewarded me with a growl. I gently pushed him back long enough to take a breath and his lips moved down to my neck. He pressed his body against mine, showing me how he was aroused.
“You can’t dress like this and expect me not to want you,” he whispered, lightly tugging on one of my pigtails.
I smiled and replied, “Those were Rachel’s idea.”
Aiden twirled both pigtails around his fingers and said, “Remind me to thank her later,” before lifting my chin up to align my lips with his. I moaned into his mouth as his hands settled back on my hips, grinding me into the counter.
“Let’s go upstairs,” I whispered. He nodded and pulled me by the hand as he ran up the steps.
I closed my bedroom door quietly and Aiden was standing right behind me with fire in his eyes. I greedily pulled his t-shirt over his head and pushed him back onto my bed. He sat on the edge, staring up at me. I wanted to reward Aiden for being a good little boy and patiently waiting for this moment for so long. I was thankful I wore my sexiest black undergarments just in case I felt like sleeping with Aiden for the first time tonight. I hadn’t actively planned this but thought I might feel ready if the date went well. I told Shane I officially had a boyfriend, Aiden was as sweet as could be at the ball park, and the Phillies won 4-3. Everything was perfect.
I took a few small steps away from my bed and gave Aiden a sexy smile as I began running my hands over my body. I unbuttoned my jeans and tugged the zipper down; shimmying the tight denim to my ankles and kicking them out of my way. I heard Aiden clear his throat as his gaze shifted down to my panties. Next I focused on loosing the hair ties Rachel had used on my pigtails, letting my hair fall down around my shoulders still in loose curls.
“Come here, Hannah,” Aiden begged. I smiled wider and shook my head.
I turned around slowly so Aiden would see my panties were a thong. After I heard him say “shit” under his breath, I crossed my arms in front of me and seductively lifted the Phillies t-shirt over my head. I tossed it aside and took a deep breath before turning back around to face him.
There was no way in hell I’d have this much confidence had the man in front of me been anyone but Aiden. Especially not if it had been that person who’s name I refused to think about right now. My heart was pounding and I felt myself becoming more aroused as I stripped for him. Aiden made me feel good about myself. He has always wanted me; when I was confused and standoffish with him freshman year, throughout the amazing summer we spent together, and even after we’d broken up I knew a part of him felt something. Most importantly, I didn’t have him up on a pedestal. I felt like his equal, and his unwavering devotion to me gave me the strength to do this with him.
“I want you so bad, honey. God, you’re making me crazy,” he said in a low husky voice.
“That’s the idea,” I replied with a wink.
I took two deliberate steps towards him so that I was only inches from his knees. My arms reached behind my back to unhook my bra and that’s when Aiden lost all control. He grabbed my waist and pulled me onto the bed landing on top of him. I giggled at his lack of restraint.
“I want to do that,” he growled in my ear, his hands trailing up my back igniting my skin with his fingertips. I needed him more than I ever expected. Aiden surprised me by flipping me over onto my back and attacking my neck with kisses. I giggled as he teased my sides with feather light touches. He smiled at my reaction to him, his ministrations intensifying as his mouth moved from my neck to my chest, and then continued down my torso at an agonizing pace.
I reached my hands between our bodies and opened the fly to his jeans. As I kissed his mouth passionately I could sense a little hesitation. Aiden hadn’t pressured me for sex at all since we’d reunited. “Do you have a condom?” I whispered.
He looked stunned by my question. “Are you sure this is what you want?”
“Absolutely,” I replied. His face fell slightly and I had no idea why.
“I didn’t bring any. I didn’t know you’d want to… you know.”
I smiled and said, “Aiden, pull open my nightstand drawer.”
He did, and after shifting around some of my junk he finally found the small box of prophylactics I’d purchased a few days earlier. He wasted no time opening the box and separating one of the foils from the others. Settling over me again he adorned my neck with open mouth kisses and pressed himself against me.
Aiden kept his lips pressed against mine as we became joined. He was gentle and slow at first and I had to encourage him to move faster. Suddenly things
got much more intense and we became a tangle of arms and legs; kisses and sweet whisperings. When we broke apart to breathe I raised my arms over my head and grasped the iron rungs of the headboard.
“Fuck, that’s hot,” he moaned above me, looking at my hands.
Aiden made me feel loved in a way I’d never experienced before. My mind was scattered between feelings of love and lust as we moved together in unison. I didn’t have the same kind of fear or anxiety as my first experience and Aiden made me feel safe and cherished.
Finally, he collapsed on me and we were both panting. He was heavy but the feeling of his weight was wonderful. I was completely satisfied. Aiden’s forehead was resting on my shoulder and he chuckled lightly as he raised his face to mine.
“You’re noisy, Hannah,” he said teasingly.
I slapped his arm playfully, embarrassed by his words. He rolled to my side and pulled me close against his heated body.
“Do you think Ally heard us?” I asked nervously.
Aiden shook his head, “Nah, I’m sure she was dead asleep,” he assured me placing a kiss on my temple.
For a long time we talked, kissed, and held each other close. His warm body against mine felt so comforting. When Aiden started yawning I slipped into my pajamas and quietly crossed the hall to use the bathroom and brush my teeth. When I reentered my bedroom I found him curled up in my blankets fast asleep. I slipped under the covers next to him and smiled as his arm encircled my waist and he sighed in his sleep. I lay there listening to him softly snoring for what seemed like hours before I finally drifted off, perfectly content.
*~*
I spent the next few days studying for midterms and working at the daycare. I didn’t see Aiden at all. We exchanged a number of text messages but he knew me well enough not to bother me before exams. I did call him Saturday night to make sure he was studying too, and I needed to let him know I’d be seeing Shane the next day. Aiden wasn’t thrilled with the idea but he appreciated my honesty. He felt slightly better after I promised him Rachel and Ally would both be home the entire time and it was a study session like we’d been doing since our first semester.