Target This

by Lily White

  “I’m talking about all of this; the Master/slave relationship, the third floor, the clothes, Sarah – ALL of it. Why do you do it?”

  Rubbing my chin between my thumb and finger, I considered her question. Why did I do this? At first it started with a woman who liked rough sex, who liked to pretend that she was being raped or tortured in some way, and, at first, I had been turned off to the idea, not wanting sex that involved violence or force. I’d been studying criminology when I dated her and the type of role play that she wanted reminded me too much of the men I studied. To say the least, I was disgusted by the thought.

  But my first muse was too beautiful a woman to turn away, and she had a natural inclination towards manipulation. I gave in to her demands quickly. And what was born of that experience became an obsession.

  “I enjoy inflicting pain, seeing fear and studying the emotions, the actions and reactions chosen by a person when they are placed in a compromising position, when they are fighting for their life. It touches something inside me that is dark; it pulls it out of me. After my first experience, I developed an obsession for the victims of the serial killers I studied as much as for the killers themselves.”

  “So you’re a sadist.”

  “If you want to use that term.” I sipped from my glass of wine before I continued. “I’m not the ‘norm’, Autumn. As you know, I push things farther than most and, yes, I can be abusive. I’ll readily admit that. But it’s your choice to endure it.”

  “I don’t have much of a choice, Lucas. It’s you or jail. At least here, I have a chance to find out who actually burned down my house.”

  I smiled. “And how do you plan on doing that, exactly? I believe I’ve stripped you of all contact with the outside world.” Another smug grin.

  Her eyes narrowed. “You said you would help me…”

  “And I will. It will take time, obviously; but eventually, I’ll make sure that it all gets cleared up. In the meantime, the house is yours to play in; you are welcome to whatever you want. I’ll spoil you, Autumn, as a thank you for being my muse.”

  After considering my offer for several minutes, she nodded - the rebellion in her slipping away so easily.

  “However, I must remind you that while you’re here, beautiful, you’re mine to do with as I see fit. I promise you, breaking my rules will only come with harsher punishments for each new mistake. Do you understand?”

  “Yes.”

  She was right back under my control.

  Never having to raise my voice, I was able to, once again, convince her to completely acquiesce to my terms. It was the same pattern I’d studied over all the years of my career. It was the same one I used in my books; but to see it occur in front of me, to see it brought to life was remarkable. I’d hurt her; both physically and psychologically, I’d abused her. After that, I showed kindness, offered a gift, and hinted towards affection. She responded almost immediately, too worn down to fight. It was that small offering of good that gave her enough hope to continue with everything I demanded, to not feel bad for admitting defeat.

  We ate in silence following that conversation. The entire time, I couldn’t help but study her mannerisms, the way she held herself now after she’d learned the truth. Nothing more than a game, she was a woman who was taken advantage of and used. An object intended for my affection and my perversions.

  Once we’d finished and I’d requested she clear the table, she sat back down. I watched with amusement as she slowly lowered herself into the chair, the marks across her ass no doubt stinging as they came in contact with the wood. After she’d found a comfortable way to sit, her eyes studied the expression on my face. “Why are you grinning?”

  A soft chuckle vibrated out from my chest. “Would you like some wine?” I lifted the bottle to tilt it in her direction and she reached out to cover her empty glass.

  “No. Thank you. I believe I had enough last night.”

  Another laugh escaped me and I sat back, eyeing a woman who, despite her helplessness, still refused to let go of her scathing words. “Yes, well, that was offered to get what I wanted. Tonight, however, I’m offering it to you in order to take the sting off.”

  “My ass is fine.”

  An eyebrow arched on my forehead and a crooked smile slid over my face. “I’m not talking about your ass; although, I wouldn’t mind exploring that particular activity with you again. Did you enjoy it?”

  “No.”

  “Are you sure? You were absolutely dripping by the time the sixth strike had marked your immaculate skin.” I paused, allowing the anger to dissipate from behind her eyes. “You might as well be honest with me, Autumn. That is part of the purpose for you being here. I want to hear about how it feels to be punished, to be humiliated, the emotions and thoughts that plague your mind when you’re treated as nothing more than an object or a whore.”

  “Why me, Lucas? Why not Mary Beth? She would have been perfectly willing…”

  “Which is exactly why I didn’t want her, Ms. Cleary. I’ve had enough of the perfectly willing. It isn’t real. They only pretend to hate the experience as they are holding their asses up in the air, begging for more. But you, with your modest thoughts and your overinflated sense of morality, you are the perfect subject. I know you hate what I do, I know you die inside a little each time I disrespect your body or mind. You are not one to be controlled and you are not one to be used to wet my dick; however, you have no choice. So you endure it, but you hate it at the same time. THAT is worth so much more to me. However, it’s of no use to me if you are not honest with how it makes you feel.”

  “So, not only do I have to endure, I have to relive it afterwards by giving you every small detail of my thoughts? Am I not allowed to keep anything for myself?”

  “No.” Leaning forward, I grabbed her bound hands and dragged them across the table until her beautiful tits were pressed firmly against the wood, her ass, undoubtedly lifted from the seat in her position. “You are owned, thoroughly and completely. You might as well get used to it.”

  When I released her, she fell back, grimacing when the bruised cheeks of her ass once again made contact with her chair.

  Swallowing hard, she eyed me before finally admitting, “As I said before, I hated it. The strikes, they were more painful than I thought they should be. I thought it would be nothing more than a stupid little spanking, something that wasn’t actually intended to hurt. So, when the first one met my skin, I wanted to jump out of place, to turn and run from the room.”

  “But you didn’t.”

  “Where would I run to, exactly? Plus, pursuant to your rules, the punishment would only end up being more severe.”

  Nodding, I waved my hand in the air to indicate for her to continue.

  “I hate this, you know? The whole fucking thing. I feel helpless. To have no choice – no say in what’s done to me. I feel small, weak, not so much human any longer, more like a pet.”

  “Hence the use of the word by many men in my position. You’ve read the books…”

  “And what’s that supposed to mean?”

  Sitting back, I steepled my fingers at my chin, looking at her long and hard as I considered what I would and would not tell her.

  “You’ve hated everything you’ve read of mine…”

  “Because it’s filth! That is not romance, it’s not enlightening, there is nothing to be gained from it except an abject understanding that cruel men exist!”

  “Which you already knew, correct? Obviously I exist, but now you are part of that ‘filth’. Why did you get off if you hated every part of it?”

  She sat back and sighed, the truth of her reaction finally reaching up to slap her in the face. “I don’t know. My body reacted, not my mind. I hated myself for it, but forgot that hatred when you touched me, when I climaxed. It was more powerful than I thought it could be. It was as if my logical mind turned off, and what replaced it was wild – animalistic – something operating purely based on nature rather than moralit
y. And after it’s all said and done, and as we sit here now, shame is all I feel.”

  Fighting back laughter at her statement, I answered, “You shouldn’t. There are reasons for your reactions, perfectly natural reasons. Have you asked yourself if the shame is only because of your body’s reaction, or because you were fooled into being in the situation in the first place? Do you feel shame when realizing that you will be in that situation again?”

  “Yes.”

  “And yet, you do nothing about it.”

  Her face flashed red with anger – with hate. “What can I do?”

  Holding her eyes locked with mine, I smiled mischievously. “Now that, Ms. Cleary, is the question.”

  Autumn

  I slept in my cuffs that night. It was horribly uncomfortable and I lay there for hours, not able to find a position that didn’t hurt my arms or press painfully across my swollen ass. Each discomfort was a reminder of his control, his ability to hurt and degrade me whenever the thought just happened to cross his mind.

  By the time the sun began to peek over the horizon, my eyes had closed, exhaustion overtaking my body’s awkward positioning. When I woke hours later, the smell of roses was the first thing I noticed. Reaching up, it didn’t register with me at first that my hands were no longer bound. However, once the realization set in, my eyes flew open and I gasped at the hazy sight. Once my eyes were focused, shock sank like a heavy stone in my stomach.

  Roses. They covered every available surface besides the floor. Dozens upon dozens of red roses were in large crystals vases, in sconces on the walls. Everywhere I looked, they were there and when my eyes finally saw the side table, I noticed the leather cuffs I’d been wearing the night before placed on its surface - a single rose positioned inside each cuff.

  Ambient light poured in through the window and dew slowly trailed along the petals of the flowers, as if they’d only been freshly picked minutes before. Sitting up, I winced when the sheets met my bottom, but I forced myself to spin so that I could hang my legs from the side. My knees almost buckled and my arms still shook to hold my weight when I pushed up into a standing position. I hurt all over, but I choose to focus on what I found in my room rather than the pain in my body. From the corner of my eye, I noticed something white within the sea of red. It was note:

  Ms. Cleary –

  Thank you for allowing me the pleasure of your company last night. Your punishment is now over. Feel free to get dressed and head downstairs for breakfast. I apologize that the roses are not as beautiful as the woman to whom they are given. I was unable to find something that could compare. You are – truly – inspirational.

  Lucas

  He’d left the flowers as a gift – a thank you – as if a good faith offering could soften my memory of the demeaning and cruel side to him. My hands made quick work shredding the note and I looked for my shopping bags, not finding them on the floor where I’d left them. Opening the closet, I wasn’t surprised to find the clothes hung up, sorted by color from light to dark.

  I choose a light blue shirt that buttoned up the front and a white pencil skirt. As usual, I wasn’t afforded a bra or panties. Shoving my feet into my four-inch heels, I imagined ramming one of those heels through Lucas’ head.

  There was nobody in the foyer when I walked downstairs and I thought the coast was clear until I heard Sarah’s heels clicking in the kitchen. Rounding the corner, I found her sipping coffee while looking out the large picture window. Her blonde hair sparkled like diamonds when she turned her head to look at me.

  “Good morning, beautiful.” A smile spread across her face that was as bright as I’d ever seen it.

  “Maybe for you.” Sitting down at the small dinette, I winced again, shifting the position of my hips to lessen the pain. Her bright smile shifted into a mock expression of sympathy.

  “Oh dear. You look like you had a rough night. I should have known. Lucas has been hard at work all morning. I dared to knock on his door a few hours ago and when he answered, he sounded like he wanted to slaughter me for having disturbed him.”

  Smiling again, she added, “He hasn’t been like that in months. Good job.”

  Rolling my eyes, I looked around the room, desperately wanting coffee, but not wanting to approach her to get it. “You look happy this morning. Did Lucas tell you about what he did?”

  Laughter, light and tinkling, rolled over her lips as she returned her attention to the window. “No dear. I have my own sex life. There’s no need for me to live vicariously through Lucas. However, since you’re asking, I’m happy this morning because I had my own little romp in the hay last night. He was very … special. I’m quite proud of myself, actually.”

  “That’s great – really.”

  She tsked and shook her head as she walked over to sit down. Her cup clattered softly against the wood of the table and she folded her hands together, leaning forward as she spoke softly.

  “There’s no need for your sarcasm, Autumn. I’m aware that you now know what’s going on here. We might as well play nice until Lucas is finished with you. I can be your best friend or your worst nightmare; well, second to worst if you consider Lucas as being part of that equation. I’ve been through several of you, beautiful girl. Things only get worse when you piss me off. Understand? Just sit back and enjoy the ride. I’m sure you exploded over him when he fucked you last night. Isn’t that worth something?”

  A heavy breath forced its way from my lungs.

  She smiled and sat back, satisfied with my lack of a response. “There. That’s better. You’ll learn to enjoy it, Autumn. I mean, what other option do you have? You could leave I guess, but with that nasty little warrant hanging over your head, you could never live comfortably always on the run. And if you turn yourself in? Well, let’s just say you’d be stuck behind bars for a very long time. You have nothing to help you. No friends, no money – they’ll probably assign you some piss poor public defender that is already overworked and underpaid. The chips have stacked up against you, my dear. If you like, I can turn on the news for you to see. It might be interesting to watch your reaction to the new theories of the scandal rocking this little town. They are in the process now of searching and testing every inch of your property for more evidence. They believe the fire wasn’t an insurance thing after all – that it was a way for you to cover up murder.”

  “I didn’t kill anybody!”

  She laughed. “I know that, you know that and Lucas knows that. However, the rest of the town believes you’re guilty.” She snickered, picking up her cup to take a sip before carefully placing it back down. “It’s always the quiet ones; the ones who appear to be so perfect until the day when they finally snap.”

  Suspicion that had always been there suddenly grew to a point where I couldn’t ignore my thoughts. “Which one of you was it? Who killed Mary Beth and who set my house on fire? Was it just you, just Lucas? Or was it a team effort to set me up?”

  Her lips curled in amusement. “Hmmmmm. Now why would you think we had anything to do with it? Maybe the circumstances of your life were just a convenient series of events that made it easier for Lucas to take advantage? No, darling, I won’t tell you whether we had anything to do with it or not. In fact, Lucas would to be quite upset with the accusation. However, if you really want to know, I suggest you ask Lucas himself; if, that is, you think you handle the repercussions.”

  My shoulders dropped in defeat. I’d already learned what happens when I asked Lucas about anything having to do with Mary Beth or the fire. I wasn’t about to step back into that trap again.

  After a few minutes, and when Sarah had finished her coffee, she stood up. Her hands smoothed down her skirt and she looked over at me. “I’m not going to be able to keep you company today, unfortunately. I have a date. Lucas wanted me to let you know that you are welcome to anything in the house. There is food in the fridge that you can heat and of course, you know where the entertainment room and the library are located if you get bored. I also sugg
est you roam the backyards. Lucas’ gardener has spent hundreds of hours perfecting many different types of areas for you to enjoy. My personal favorites are the cherry blossom garden and the rose garden – although that one lost a lot of its blooms this morning.” She winked before turning and clicking her way out of the room. Before she was out of the doorway, she turned around to add, “Be sure to mind Lucas’ rules, Autumn. Remember - do not explore the basement or the third floor.”

  “The third is kept locked; I’m not even sure how I would access it if I wanted to.”

  She smiled, “There are always ways when one searches hard enough.”

  After she finally exited the doorway, I listened to her footsteps until they had entirely disappeared and laid my head on the table, completely at a loss as to what to do.

  …

  She hadn’t lied. The gardens outside were absolutely breathtaking. Each different corner of the backyard had a different theme, and, like Sarah, I found the cherry blossom trees to be only slightly less spectacular than the rose garden. Whereas, the flowers in my room had been all red, the rose garden was filled with every color you could imagine. Some were solid and others were hybrids, but they all were perfect. I spent several hours sitting in the plush furniture I’d found outside beneath an open-sided tent. The wind blew across the bushes and carried with it the heavy scent of the buds. It was Heaven, pure and simple, a small place of refuge from the nightmare that existed inside Lucas’ home.

  I read a book I found in the library, a classic I’d read before and which I knew I didn’t have to worry about descriptions of violence or evil men. After several hours, my eyes grew tired as clouds started to roll across the sky. Eventually, the warmth of the sunlight I’d been enjoying was covered up. The wind blew stronger, bringing with it a refreshing chill and I fell asleep beneath the tent, completely at ease to be outside and away from Lucas Bates.

  Violent thunder and brilliant flashes of lightning were what woke me up from the peaceful place that I’d found. Looking up, I saw the top of the tent being blown back, the tethers threatening to let go if the wind grew any stronger. The sound of the rain was overwhelming and I looked out to see sheets of water, rather than the path leading back to the house. There was no visibility, but I knew that the tent would most likely give during a storm this severe and the last thing I wanted was to be trapped outside with no cover.