Rae (Captured Hearts Book 1)

by E. R. Wade

  “So, Rae, it seems you have some explaining to do. To start, why don’t you tell us why your friend just kissed you?”

  “I don’t know . . . Maybe it’s because he has no boundaries?”

  Ana looks like she’s about to laugh but Mia isn’t impressed by my lame attempt to avoid answering the question.

  “Rae. Spill it.”

  “Fine,” I say, letting out the breath I’ve been holding. “He and I are friends with some benefits.” There. I said it.

  “What kind of benefits? Ana and I deserve a detailed description.”

  “What? Really, guys?”

  “Just joking,” Mia says, smiling. “I can’t even be mad at you. Seriously, that was so hot.”

  Ana agrees with her. “It was. The way you were both looking at each other like no one else existed.”

  “I have to find a guy who looks at me like that. The benefits must be very huge and impressive,” Mia teases. Ana gives her a look that I can’t decipher.

  I swallow my embarrassment and discomfort, and say, “Sorry, I wasn’t completely honest. I’ve been trying to keep this . . . thing between us under wraps. It was supposed to be a one-time deal but somehow . . . I don’t even know for sure what we’re doing.” My friends are looking at me with interest, which makes me ramble on. “I mean, he comes over and we have the most amazing sex and then he asks me out and I say no, and in a few days we do it all over again. I truly don’t know what we’re doing. I guess Cole knows what he’s doing but I don’t know what I’m doing.” I finally stop talking.

  “Wow.” Mia is staring at me.

  “In other words, you really like him,” Ana tells me.

  “Obviously,” Mia says.

  “He’s her Jake.”

  “Ana –” Mia tries to cut Ana off.

  “What? Who’s Jake?” I ask, curious.

  “The man Mia is in love with,” Ana says.

  Mia’s face is a sight to behold. “I’m not in love with him.”

  Undeterred, Ana continues speaking. “She fell for a perfect stranger on a night out with some friends in Vegas almost two years ago. She hasn’t seen him since they spent the night together and she hasn’t dated anyone since then because she compares every man to him and no one comes close. Her excuse is that she doesn’t think she’ll ever feel the deep connection she felt with him with anyone else.”

  “Wait. How did I not know this?” I ask, looking at Mia.

  “Same reason we didn’t know about your boyfriend. I didn’t want anyone to know how much he affects me. Ana found out when she caught me in a moment of weakness.”

  “She was drunk,” Ana supplies helpfully, smiling at the memory, I assume. “And wouldn’t stop talking.”

  “He’s not my boyfriend,” I say.

  “Yeah, Rae. Keep telling yourself that. You should have seen your face when you spotted him, and then you were trying so hard pretending that you didn’t care that he was in the same bar with you,” Mia says.

  Clearly, I was doing a shitty job of trying to hide my reaction to him. “I thought you wanted me to find out if he has a girlfriend.”

  “I was just trying to get a reaction out of you. I wanted to see if you’d fess up.”

  “But I meant it about his friend. Luke, right?” Ana says. I nod and she continues. “Such a strong, sexy name.” I eye her, amused. I’m not sure how strong and sexy his name is. Sounds like a regular name to me.

  “You mean the man, and not the name, I’m sure.”

  She doesn’t respond. “And did you see how green his eyes were? I’ve never seen eyes like that. I think there are flecks of gold in them. I have to take a closer look.” Some of the dreamy look clears from her face as she focuses on me. “You need to get him to ask me out.”

  “How am I supposed to do that? We’re not close. I’ve never had a conversation with him.”

  “Talk to Cole. He’ll set it up.” Her face lights up. “We could go on a double date,” she suggests excitedly.

  “Hey. I want to go too,” Mia says.

  What the heck is going on here? I look at my two friends like I’m looking at aliens.

  “There will be no date. I told you, Cole and I aren’t like that.”

  “Sorry, Mia. If we invite you, you know you’ll say no because you’ll have to bring a date,” Ana says to Mia, both of them completely ignoring me.

  Are they even listening to me?

  “No one is inviting anyone anywhere. There isn’t going to be a date. Not now, not ever,” I state firmly, my voice slightly raised.

  Ana squints at me. “Why not?” I was right, she wasn’t listening to me. “I’m sure Cole won’t mind Luke and me joining you.”

  I want to scream but I don’t want to be known as ‘that crazy black lady who almost attacked her friends at a bar’. I take a deep breath and take a different approach. “Luke could have a girlfriend. He may even be engaged.” I add the last part deliberately.

  “That’s true,” Mia points out. Finally, some support. Thank you, Mia.

  Some of Ana’s excitement dims. “Oh. Yeah. I didn’t think about that. But you’ll find out if he does.” She looks at me hopefully. Shit. She must really like Luke. Sure he’s handsome but he didn’t even speak to us.

  I give up. “Yeah, I will.”

  EIGHT

  Rae

  I’m back in my apartment, but I’ve only managed to kick off my heels and drop my clutch on the couch. I’ve been pacing the length of my living room.

  I’m angry at Cole. This is all his fault.

  It’s his fault that I’m attracted to him. I’m now thinking of him beyond the bedroom and no matter how hard I try to fight it my heart and my body want him. My heart beats so fast whenever I see him.

  It’s his fault that he’s constantly on my mind. Does he have any idea how many times I’ve caught myself smiling because I’m thinking about him?

  It’s his fault that I want to say yes and go on a date with him.

  Now, he’s got me hiding things from my friends and almost dying of embarrassment at how I was mooning over him in public. He made me forget that we weren’t the only ones in the bar. Damn him!

  This is his fault.

  Except it really isn’t.

  I could have walked away from him at the bar the night we met. I didn’t have to invite him home . . . but I did. And I agreed to see him again and again and again.

  The buzzer goes off. Cole walks in looking too damned gorgeous and irresistible. Yes, this is definitely all his fault.

  “What the hell was that, Cole?” I ask angrily as soon as I close the door.

  He studies me for a few seconds, looking completely unaffected by my outburst. “Do you want me to pop this in the fridge?” he asks, holding up the box of desserts he brought from AV.

  I ignore his question. “My friends think we’re dating.”

  “I’m sure you set them straight,” he says dryly, walking to the refrigerator and opening it.

  “Did you really have to do that?” I ask, referring to the kiss, and not willing to let it go. I’m pissed off because of my reaction to him in front of everyone. This man has been slowly getting under my skin.

  He closes the refrigerator and turns to me. “It was more for my benefit than yours. There was a woman hitting on me at the bar and she wasn’t taking no for an answer so I wanted to make it clear that I wasn’t interested.”

  Someone was hitting on him just a few feet away from where I was sitting? That makes me more upset. I don’t want anyone hitting on him. I don’t want anyone looking at him. He’s mine. I freeze at the direction of my thoughts. No. No, he’s not mine. He’s free to do anything he wants with whoever he chooses. I don’t care. I really don’t . . . except I do, and judging by the way he’s looking at me, he knows it. He takes a step towards me.

  “Rae –”

  And just because I’m me, I cut off whatever he’s about to say. “You should have taken her number. Don’t deny yourself on my accoun
t.”

  He raises an eyebrow in amusement. “You won’t have minded?”

  “Why would I? We’re not dating and we’re not exclusive. You can do whatever you want.” The words taste like acid in my mouth.

  He studies me silently, and I stubbornly refuse to take the words back. “Okay. I will. She works at the bar so I’ll stop by there tomorrow.”

  What the fuck? He agreed? Just like that? And he said it like it’s no big deal. I grit my teeth in annoyance. Fine, I know I told him that he could do whatever he wants but that doesn’t mean he should go ahead and meet up with the first woman who bats her eyelashes at him. Seriously, what the fuck? I can’t help it, I glare at him. Leaning on the wall looking completely relaxed – which is in sharp contrast to how I’m feeling – he watches me. He better not go back to that bar tomorrow. I don’t say it out loud, instead I say, “I’m tired. I’m going to bed. Alone.”

  I make to walk past him but he snags my waist and pulls me to him.

  “Why are you so stubborn? Why can’t you be honest and admit you want us to be exclusive?”

  “Why would I want that?” I can feel my body already melting into him and I try hard to resist but it’s obvious I’m fighting a losing battle.

  “Rae.” He pulls me closer. “I want the same thing. I don’t want anyone else, and I don’t share. As far I’m concerned, you and I are exclusive. Do you understand?”

  No. No, I don’t understand. I don’t understand what this man is doing to me. I don’t understand why it’s impossible for me to walk away from him. I don’t understand why I am completely enamored of him and why I feel like everything is better when he’s around. Every single thing is better when he’s here.

  “Rae?”

  I don’t say a word. I pull his face down and kiss him. I don’t know what I’m trying to say or what I’m avoiding saying by kissing him. I wrap my arms around his neck, and part my lips, inviting him to deepen the kiss. My entire body is trembling with desire and desperate need. He lifts me up and I wrap my legs around him. Without breaking the kiss, he walks us to my bed. He doesn’t leave until morning.

  After that night, whenever Cole asks me out on a date – which is every time we’re together and every time he calls – I don’t turn him down. I don’t say yes either. I just change the subject and he lets me. He knows I’m going to say yes soon, very soon.

  Two weeks after the bar incident, we’re lying on my couch not watching the movie we picked out together. He seems to spend most of his free time with me. We’ve spent the past thirty minutes talking, laughing and teasing each other. And our hands haven’t stopped touching each other.

  I’ve gotten to know more about him. I now know his favorite color is dark green. His office occupies a floor in a multi-story office building in Holborn. He lives in South Kensington. He and Luke moved to London together four years ago, and are neighbors. He doesn’t know how to cook but he’s very handy with a microwave. He doesn’t like mushrooms. He goes running in the mornings and to the gym roughly about four times a week. He watches the English Premier League on weekends when he’s not working, and plays tennis when he has the time.

  “You seem fascinated with my hair,” I say, smiling at him. Cole likes playing with my hair. As a matter of fact, he likes touching me every chance he gets.

  “Not just your hair. Everything about you fascinates me – your eyes, your lips, your smile, your sexy-as-fuck curves, your mind. Everything,” he says. “I want to get to know you better.”

  Why the hell is my heart beating so fast? His words shouldn’t affect me. I know better than to fall for them.

  “Cole –”

  He takes my lips in a searing kiss, and I forget what I was going to say. I forget all my objections. I forget all the reasons why this is supposed to be a bad idea.

  “We’ll go at your pace, Rae,” he says in that sexy voice of his. “We’ll do it your way.”

  I look into his gray gaze and I swear I feel everything inside me bending to him. The parts of me that I thought I had safely buried are trying to crawl out, yearning for him. How can I say no to him? How can anyone?

  “Okay?” he prompts when all I do is stare at him.

  I close my eyes, take a deep breath and ignore the sliver of fear. Not quite believing what I’m about to agree to, I say, “Okay.”

  He kisses me again and again . . . and again. Before I know it, his face is between my legs and I’m coming in his mouth.

  Cole moves up my body and kisses me on my lips and I taste myself on him. We stare into each other’s eyes for a moment. The air is charged with emotion, and nothing to do with lust or the mind-blowing orgasm he’s just given me. Cole breaks the silence.

  “Go on a date with me.” His voice may be soft but he’s not asking me, he’s telling me.

  I can’t escape his gaze. His gorgeous gray eyes are swirling with emotion. I have no doubt that mine are too. This isn’t just sex anymore. The truth is that it hasn’t been just sex in a long time. I’ve been lying to myself, hiding from the truth.

  “Yes.” I’m tired of resisting him, and I really want to go on a date with him.

  Cole’s expression doesn’t change. There isn’t a hint of surprise or satisfaction there.

  “Tomorrow night,” he says, and then kisses me. This time, the kiss is long and deep. It is everything.

  NINE

  Rae

  It’s date night and I’m nervous. I’m sitting in my bedroom waiting for the buzzer to signal Cole’s arrival. I’m wearing a dark purple off-shoulder, knee-length dress. It took me damn too long to choose this dress, and now that I’m ready, I’m second-guessing my choice. What if I’m over-dressed? What if he doesn’t like it? Is it too short? Too long? Too tight? I debate pouring myself a glass of wine but I don’t. I need to keep a clear head for our first date.

  I almost jump out of my skin when I hear the buzzer. What the fuck is wrong with me? Why am I so nervous? It’s just a date with a man who’s seen me naked many times. And we’ve eaten together a few times so this shouldn’t be a big deal.

  But it is. Because it’s Cole I’m going on the date with. And it means something to me.

  I open the front door. He looks all kinds of gorgeous in dark trousers and a button-up shirt.

  “Orchids,” I say, staring at the crystal vase with my favorite flowers in his hand. “How did you know?” How does he know that I love orchids? I’m sure this isn’t a coincidence.

  “Your bio on your magazine’s website,” he reveals.

  His disclosure affects me. Knowing that he took the time to find out what I like means a lot to me. I know how busy he is yet he always comes over and spends time with me, and persistently asks me out. I’m glad I agreed to go out with him. I regret waiting this long.

  Taking the vase from him, I say, “Thank you.” It’s so sweet of him. I don’t look up at him because if I do, he’ll be able to see everything I’m feeling, and I’m feeling pretty vulnerable right now.

  Cole takes me to an intimate and exclusive Italian restaurant in Mayfair for dinner. The restaurant serves authentic Italian dishes just the way I like it. A few weeks ago, I had mentioned casually that I hadn’t found any good Italian place, and it was my favorite cuisine. He remembered, and I’m pleased.

  After an amazing dinner, he asks if I’d like to come back to his place. I’m curious to see where he lives so I say yes. He drives towards South Kensington, and parks his car in front of a striking three-story townhouse. He lives here?

  “I’ll get your door.”

  As soon as I get down from the car, I feel some of my nervousness from earlier in the evening return. It’s been a long time since I went home with a man. I’ve never wanted to be with anyone except it’s either in my place or somewhere neutral.

  “Are you okay?” Cole, always astute, notices my reaction even in the darkness.

  “Yeah. I’m good.”

  He puts his hand on the small of my back, and guides me forward. Pulli
ng out his key, he opens the large dark brown solid wood front door, and ushers me in.

  Wow. His house is really big and nice. The spacious living room has light hardwood floors and off-white painted walls, and is decorated in shades of gray and cream. It’s not what I expected. I’m not sure exactly what I expected, to be honest. I didn’t think about it since I’ve been so focused on him – on the feelings he elicits in me and in denying said feelings. If I had to think about it, I probably would have pictured him in one of the city’s luxury apartments living the bachelor life. Instead, his home looks nothing like what I’d expect a bachelor pad to look like. It’s warm and welcoming. It looks homely, but it also looks like it came straight out of the pages of a magazine.

  “You live here?” I ask. Granted, it’s not the smartest question.

  “Yeah.”

  “Alone?”

  He smiles at me. “Of course. What would you like to drink? I have beer, white wine, red wine and scotch.”

  “Cabernet Sauvignon?”

  “I’ll get a bottle,” he says. “Why don’t you have a seat? I’ll be right back.”

  Within minutes, he comes back with an open bottle of wine and two glasses.

  “Did you decorate your house yourself or you hired an interior decorator?”

  “I hired a decorator but I ended up doing most of the decorating. Not her fault, I kept ripping up her ideas and ignoring her recommendations. I just had this idea of how I wanted my home to look.”

  “It’s beautiful.”

  “Thanks,” he says, smiling at me. “Come on. Let me show you around.”

  His house has four bedrooms, a gym, a library, a wine cellar and a game room. We end up in the master bedroom which is decorated in different tones of walnut and cream. It’s spacious, and has a sitting area, a walk-in closet and en-suite bathroom.

  Cole takes the wineglass from my hand and sets it down on a small round table next to a sculpture, and then wraps his arms around me.

  “I’ve wanted you in my home and in my bed for a long time,” he murmurs against my ear. Shivers of awareness course through me, and I lean into him.