Born to Be Wilde

by Janelle Denison

  He exhaled a deep breath. Joel hated taking that particular trip down memory lane, but for Lora, he knew he'd do it.

  With effort, he mentally put himself back into the situation and tried to make the story as succinct as possible.

  "Our unit was on its way to conduct a search operation of a known terrorist ring in east Baghdad, when a young boy came running up to our Humvee, which is never a good sign. Three of us jumped off the vehicle, including Zach, to assess the situation and make sure the boy wasn't part of some suicide attack, and that's when one of the Humvees in our convoy was hit by a roadside bomb, followed by an immediate insurgent attack."

  He combed his fingers through his now-short hair, which felt odd after months of dealing with the unruly, longer strands. "I was hit by a piece of shrapnel in my right thigh, and just as the guys in our unit started taking cover where they could, another blast went off nearby, which knocked me on my ass."

  He watched as Lora pressed her fingers to her lips, her eyes wide with horror as she listened to his grim tale. "I ended up in the middle of the road, without any protection, and gunfire going off all around me from both sides," he went on as his hand absently rubbed at the scar on his thigh. "I tried to get up, but my right leg kept giving out on me, and just when I thought I was as good as dead, your brother ran back out into the open fire while the other guys covered him the best they could. He grabbed me beneath my arms and literally dragged me back behind one of the Humvees, where it was relatively safe."

  "God, Joel," she said, her voice hoarse. "I had no idea."

  Most American civilians never knew just how bad things could get in Iraq, that every day for someone in the military could be their last. Joel never took for granted just how lucky he'd been to get out of that attack alive.

  "It could have been much worse," he said, eternally grateful that his injury hadn't been life threatening. "I could have died like a few other of our men did that day, and I have Zach to thank for saving me."

  There was no doubt in Joel's mind that if it hadn't been for Zach's bravery and spontaneous rescue, he would have ended up dead, too. But it was that tight band-of-brothers mentality that always had men risking their own lives to save others. Like one of their guys who'd thrown himself on top of a grenade during another mission in order to save the entire group. That had been just one of the many devastating acts of courage that Joel and Zach and his other comrades had witnessed.

  "That's the kind of shit we dealt with, Lora, every single day," he continued. "And it takes men who are loyal and you trust implicitly to watch your back and do the unthinkable if necessary. And that's exactly the kind of marine and man that Zach was."

  "Then what happened to him, Joel?" Lora's gaze was troubled and her voice trembled when she spoke. "What made that loyal, trustworthy man turn on his own sister?"

  Her emotional turmoil was nearly tangible, and it twisted in Joel's gut like a knife. In no way did Joel absolve Zach of the mistakes he'd made over the past few years with his life and his sister's, but he tried to make Lora understand things from a military perspective.

  "The war, and seeing the worst in humanity, and witnessing some of your good friends dying right in front of your eyes without any way of saving them, is enough to send anyone off the deep end." Leaning forward in his chair, he clasped his hands between his spread knees, his gaze holding hers as he recounted some of those situations. "There's a lot of pain involved in war, and not all of it is physical. There's guilt and remorse and regrets for things you should have done, or things you could have done differently. There's the anguish of watching innocent people die, and the guilt of not being able to save an eighteen-year-old fresh out of boot camp who ends up getting killed in the line of fire."

  Joel did his best not to dwell on the ugly, tragic aspects of the war, but he knew that some people had a tougher time blending back into civilian life than others. Like Zach. Then there were the too-high statistics of depression and suicide that had afflicted some veterans of Iraq once they returned home from the war.

  "Everyone deals with that emotional upheaval in different ways," he said, and he highly suspected that Zach had some form of combat post-traumatic stress disorder, which would explain a lot of his choices and actions since being discharged. "For Zach, maybe it's the gambling and drinking that keeps him from remembering and dealing with what he'd endured. But those addictions are just a temporary Band-Aid for the real underlying issues and problems he needs to work through."

  She nodded in understanding, then tipped her head, regarding him in a speculative way that made him uncomfortable. "What about you, Joel? How did you deal with what you saw on a daily basis?"

  He shrugged more casually than he felt inside. "Honestly, I try not to think about it, or the split-second choices I had to make." Because if he did, he knew he'd go insane and allow the mental distress of some of those wrong choices to lead him down a destructive path, much in the way that Zach had gone. "I keep myself busy with work and don't dwell on the past." And he kept himself emotionally detached, too. That part came easily. Since his mother's death, other than Mia, he'd managed to distance himself from everyone else in his life.

  Not wanting to dredge up any more of the past or his time in the war, he stood up and brushed off the bigger chunks of hair still on his shirt and jeans. "If you'll get me the broom and dustpan from that closet over there, I'll get this mess cleaned up."

  Knowing by his change of subject that they were done talking about Zach and the war, she pushed away from the counter and went to retrieve the items he'd requested. "Why don't you go take a shower, and I'll do this."

  Considering that the smaller hairs that had found their way down his shirt in the back were starting to make him itchy, he wasn't about to argue. "Thanks."

  She stopped him before he could exit the kitchen. "Joel?"

  He turned back around. "Yeah?"

  "Thank you for telling me," she said softly, gratefully. "I really hope that it's not too late to get Zach the help he needs after this is over. I don't want him living like this anymore."

  He felt the same way. "You and me both."

  As Joel headed to the bathroom, he knew that someone had to save Zach from himself before the other man got himself killed. And that person would most likely be Joel.

  Chapter Sixteen

  A new storm raged outside the cabin, loud and windy and with enough furor to rattle the windows in the front rooms. The fire in the hearth had died down enough for Joel to feel confident that it was okay to retire for the night, as Lora had a few hours ago, yet he was still out in the living room, his mind, and his thoughts, working overtime.

  He'd spent too much time mulling over what Lora had said about getting Zach the help he needed to overcome his problems, and Joel couldn't agree more with her. He, along with Ben, Kevin, and Jon, were ready and willing to give Zach the financial and emotional support he needed to dig himself out of his predicament, but accepting that help would require a huge dedication from Zach, personally and professionally.

  But if Zach couldn't do something as simple as show up for a planned meeting, Joel had to wonder if he had it in him to make the commitment it would take to change his life for the better.

  Knowing he needed to get some sleep so they could head back to the city in the morning, Joel got up from the couch and started toward the second empty bedroom down the hall. But instead of passing by the room that Lora was sleeping in, which would have been the smart thing to do, he came to a stop in the doorway and stared at her sleeping form on the bed.

  She was curled up on her side, bundled beneath the covers. A flash of lightning from outside illuminated Lora's serene features, followed by a loud crash of thunder that shook the cabin and ultimately startled her awake. She came up on one elbow, her hair tumbling around her shoulders, and looked his way.

  "Hey," she said, her voice soft and slightly raspy. "What are you still doing up?"

  "I'm on my way to bed right now. I was just checkin
g in on you." He forced himself to back away from the doorway before he gave into the temptation to crawl into bed beside her. "Good night."

  "Wait," she called out before he could make his escape. Then she tossed back the covers, scooted over to make room for him, and patted the open spot next to her. "Why don't you sleep here with me? There's no sense in messing up two beds," she teased.

  He chuckled, but there wasn't a hint of seduction in her voice. She wasn't looking for sex, and honestly, neither was he. He just wanted to be close to her, to take what he could while it lasted, no matter how selfish that might be.

  More thunder clapped over the cabin, accompanied by a torrent of rain pounding on the roof, and Lora winced at the sound. "The storm is making me jumpy, and it sure would be nice not to sleep alone."

  She didn't have to convince him any more than that, so accepting her invitation was incredibly easy to do. He moved into the room, and after stripping down to his boxer briefs, he slid into bed beside her. She turned to face the opposite way, and he cuddled up behind her, wrapped an arm around her waist, and aligned the front of his body to her backside.

  His head rested next to hers on the pillow, and he breathed in the floral scent lingering in her hair. Interestingly enough, he discovered that she was wearing one of his T-shirts, and not her own pajamas. It appeared that she wanted to be equally close to him, in any way she could.

  Smiling, he closed his eyes, and it didn't take him long to fall into a deep, exhausted sleep.

  JOEL jolted awake, uncertain as to what, exactly, had disturbed him. Eyes open, he remained still, in the same position that he'd fallen asleep in snuggled up behind Lora, and listened for any unusual sounds. Outside, the storm was still in full force, but it wasn't the distant rumble of thunder or the pattering of rain against the window that had roused him. It had been something else entirely.

  Then he heard it again, the rattling of the front doorknob, this time followed by a whoosh of wind as the door opened, then closed behind someone.

  The noise woke Lora with a start, and she looked over her shoulder at him. "What was that?" she whispered.

  Joel had a feeling that their guest had finally arrived. Considering they were out in the middle of nowhere, and he'd only given one person the directions to the cabin, he'd deliberately left the front door unlocked, in the slim hope that Zach would eventually show up. Even though it was after two in the morning, it appeared that Lora's brother had finally found his way to the place.

  Still, Joel wasn't ready to reunite brother and sister just yet, not until he confirmed that what he'd heard truly was Zach. "Just stay put," Joel murmured quietly. "I'm going to check it out."

  He rolled out of bed onto his bare feet and stepped out of the bedroom into the adjoining living room just as the person switched on the lamp by the couch, illuminating none other than Zach Marshall. Joel came to a stop, and from across the room Zach stared at him, his chin lifting belligerently, as if anticipating some kind of confrontation or fight.

  Joel's first thought was that his friend looked like shit. His dark brown hair was even longer than Joel's had been before his haircut, and the strands were dripping wet and tangled around his head, as if he hadn't bothered to run a comb through his hair in days. His eyes were dull, and what he could see of Zach's unshaven face was pale and gaunt.

  Then there was the black and blue bruise ringing his swollen left eye and the fresh cut on his lower lip that added to his unkempt appearance. He was wearing a long, tan trench-like coat that was old, worn, and dirty, and Joel noticed that his left hand and arm were plastered in a cast. He knew without asking that Zach's broken arm and his messed-up face were courtesy of the men who wanted their money from him. And those were just the injuries that he could see. There was no telling what else they'd done to Zach over the past few weeks.

  As much as Joel hated seeing Zach in such a sorry state, he wasn't about to pity the other man, or let him off easy. No, Zach had gotten himself into this predicament, and he needed to pull his head out of his ass before he completely flushed his life down the toilet.

  "Nice of you to make it," Joel said dryly.

  The corner of Zach's lip curled into a bitter smile. "Better late than never, huh, Wilde Man?"

  Before Joel could reply to that snide remark, Lora came out of the bedroom behind him, obviously having heard the exchange and recognizing her brother's voice. She came to an abrupt stop next to Joel, her hand fluttering anxiously to her throat.

  "Oh my God, Zach?" she asked, her voice trembling with shock, "Is that you?"

  Zach's narrowed gaze traveled from Joel, to Lora, then back to Joel again in a heated and furious stare. Too late, Joel realized how the situation looked from Zach's perspective… with his sister walking out of the same bedroom Joel had, and her wearing one of his black T-shirts and her legs bare, while he was in nothing more than his boxer briefs.

  The next time Zach looked at Lora, he managed a small smile meant solely for her. "Yeah, it's me." He spread his arms out in front of him. "In the flesh, big sister."

  "Oh, Zach," she breathed, obviously still stunned to see him. After a moment, she rushed across the room to give her brother a hug.

  Zach returned the embrace, though he still glared at Joel over Lora's shoulder. Joel crossed his arms over his chest and remained where he was, deciding to let brother and sister handle this reunion on their own and without any interference from him.

  "It's been forever, and I've been so worried about you, and…" Lora pulled back and glanced from his drenched hair and coat to her own damp T-shirt, and frowned. "You're all wet."

  "Yeah, well, there just happens to be a rainstorm out there," he drawled, the beginnings of sarcasm lacing his tone.

  "And your face…" She swallowed hard and reached up to touch his discolored cheek.

  Zach flinched away before she could make contact. "I'm fine, Lora. Stop fussing over me."

  "You're far from fine," she argued, a hint of anger creeping into her voice. "You've got a black eye, a split lip, and your arm is in a cast. And you've been drinking. I can smell the alcohol on your breath."

  Zach's lips thinned, and his own temper flared. "If I'd known you were going to reprimand me like a little kid, I never would have shown up."

  Now that her initial surprise had ebbed, Joel could see her mind working and trying to make sense of her brother's spontaneous arrival at a cabin miles away from civilization.

  She shook her head in confusion and ran her fingers through her sleep-tousled hair, which only added to the appearance that she'd spent the night in Joel's bed having hot sex. "What are you doing here, Zach?"

  "What, Joel didn't tell you?" he replied mockingly.

  She turned around and tipped her head, looking to Joel for answers, just as Zach had no doubt intended. "Tell me what, Joel?"

  Refusing to let Zach make him into the enemy, Joel moved forward into the living room, his gaze on Lora. "Tell you that I set up a meeting for you to see Zach," he said, and went on to explain his reasons for withholding that information before Zach could twist things around to suit his own purposes. "But I didn't say anything to you because I had no idea if Zach would show up, and considering he was supposed to be here, oh, a good sixteen hours ago, I'd given up hope of that happening."

  Zach clearly didn't like taking responsibility for his actions and didn't hesitate to deflect the attention off of himself. "Well, it looks like it was more than enough time to nail my sister, now wasn't it, Wilde Man?"

  Joel saw that confrontation coming from the moment Lora had walked out of the bedroom behind him, but she obviously hadn't anticipated such a derogatory remark. She gasped in shock and whirled around to face her brother again.

  "Zach!" The one word rang with a firm warning for him to back off. "What the hell kind of comment was that?"

  "Well, it's the truth, isn't it?" Zach said, and shifted his challenging gaze back to Joel. "I asked you to protect my sister, Joel, not fuck her."

  Th
e crude remark spurred Lora into action, and before Zach realized what she intended, she'd hauled off and slapped him across the face, hard enough to make his head snap to the side. "That's enough, Zach!"

  Joel couldn't help but silently applaud her bold and gutsy move. She'd just made it more than clear that she wasn't about to take any crap from her brother, and if Zach had any smarts left, he'd watch what he had to say.

  Zach worked his jaw and narrowed his gaze at Lora. "Wow, nice greeting, sis."

  His obnoxious attitude pissed her off even more, and it seemed like all the pent-up fear and anger toward her brother that she'd been suppressing the past few weeks finally came bubbling to the surface.

  "How dare you come here and make Joel the bad guy, or make any kind of assumption about our relationship!" She punctuated her statement with a forceful finger jab to Zach's chest that made him wince. "It's none of your business what's going on between Joel and me. For that matter, I wouldn't be in this situation with Joel if it wasn't for you and your stupid, idiotic idea of using my insurance policy as collateral on a gambling loan. What were you thinking, Zach?"

  The first faint signs of remorse flickered in his gaze. "I had no choice."

  "That's a pile of bullshit!" she said, not letting sympathy for her brother get the best of her. Instead, she took a tough love approach that Joel admired. "Every time you put money down on a table in hopes of winning you make the wrong choice, Zach. The right choice is to walk away."

  Zach's shoulders slumped in defeat, an oddity in a man who'd been trained to be strong and tenacious in any given situation. "You have no idea what it's like," he said quietly.

  She exhaled a deep breath and dragged her fingers through her disheveled hair. "Look, you're here, and that's what matters," she said, her voice softening with concern. "Why don't you take a hot shower, and I'll make you something to eat, then we can talk."

  Zach nodded. "Yeah, I'd like that."