Born to Be Wilde

by Janelle Denison

Joel had been watching their exchange from the sidelines, and now addressed Zach. "Come on, I'll show you where the bathroom is and get you some dry clothes to change into."

  He wasn't sure what to expect from Zach, but the other man suddenly appeared exhausted and weary, as if he just didn't have any more fight left in him. Most likely, he didn't. Zach was probably at the end of his rope and barely hanging on for his life, and his sister's.

  Zach followed him down the hall to the second bedroom, where Joel first pulled on a pair of black jeans, then retrieved a shirt and a pair of pants for Zach, along with his toiletry bag, which contained shampoo, a razor, and shaving cream if Zach wanted to use any of it. After showing Zach where the bathroom was located, Joel joined Lora in the kitchen.

  She was standing at the stove heating up one of the canned soups and buttering slices of bread to make Zach a few grilled cheese sandwiches. A fresh pot of coffee was percolating, and Joel knew they all could use a boost of caffeine considering how early in the morning it was.

  As he came up beside her and leaned against the counter, he noticed that she, too, had put on a pair of jeans and traded in his black T-shirt for a sweatshirt. Mostly, he didn't care for how quiet she was and how she wouldn't look at him, and wondered if his decision to keep Zach's possible visit to himself was the reason.

  If so, he owed her an apology, and he wasn't above giving it. "I'm sorry, Lora. I should have told you that I set up a meeting here with Zach."

  She slanted him a quick glance before placing two slices of buttered bread on the hot skillet. "Yes, you should have, but I do understand why you didn't." She added cheese to the sandwiches and two more slices of bread, and this time when she looked at him, the pain in her gaze was unmistakable. "God, Joel, I've never seen Zach look like this. So dejected and hopelessly lost, and it scares me. What am I going to do?"

  "Do you realize that to you it's always about what you can do for Zach, and not what Zach can do for himself? You can't take care of this, Lora. Zach has to do it on his own."

  She shook her head, a tinge of desperation etching her features as she stirred the steaming soup. "I have money in my savings that would go a long way toward helping him out of this mess."

  "And bail him out like you have every other time in his life?" he asked incredulously. "I'm sure a part of Zach is hoping that you'll offer him the money he needs to help pay off his debt, but I can guarantee that he'll take your money, go and pay off what he owes, and then he'll start gambling all over again." Frustration raised his tone a few decibels. "If you give him the money, he'll continue to think there're no consequences for his behavior. There will be no one forcing him to be accountable for his debt. It would be nothing more than free money for him."

  "You're right, but it doesn't make it any easier not to do it," she said quietly, and flipped both of the sandwiches over to grill the other sides.

  Her anxiety and despair grabbed at something deep inside him and tugged hard. Realizing he had the power to offer her some kind of comfort from that worry, he decided to let her know what he had planned for Zach. "There's something else I need to tell you."

  "What, more secrets?" She turned off the burner beneath the soup and cast him a skeptical glance. "Should I be worried?"

  Her comment made him realize just how much he'd withheld from her during the course of their relationship. Keeping things to himself was a part of his personality, a function of how he'd grown up and dealt with more emotional issues that had spilled into his life as a marine, then a security agent. But now it made him more aware that she was the one person who managed to drag these things out of him, that he trusted her with so much of himself, and that was a scary prospect for him.

  He mentally filed that away to think about later. Right now, they had her brother's problem to deal with.

  "No, there's nothing for you to worry about," he reassured her. "Not only did I ask Zach to meet us here for the two of you to see one another, but I also have a proposition for him that would enable him to pay off this debt and give him a chance at a solid future."

  Her eyes grew wide, and though she didn't ask for specific details, the gratitude passing across her features spoke volumes. "You would do that for Zach?"

  Without thinking, he reached out and caressed his thumb along her soft cheek, that simple touch affecting him more deeply than it should have. "And for you."

  Moisture welled up in her eyes, and she swallowed hard. "Thank you," she whispered.

  The urge to take her into his arms and comfort her was strong, but with Zach in the cabin and already tossing around derogatory remarks about the two of them, the last thing Joel wanted was to have her brother walk in on them in an embrace, no matter how innocent.

  So, instead, he turned around and opened one of the overhead cupboards. "Would you like some coffee?"

  She nodded and returned her attention to preparing Zach's meal. "Yes, please."

  He retrieved three mugs and poured coffee into each one while Lora put the grilled cheese sandwiches on a plate and poured the soup into a bowl. By the time everything was on the table, Zach was done with his shower and joined them in the kitchen, looking much more human than he had when he'd arrived.

  Zach had shaved the grisly stubble on his face, and he'd combed his now-clean hair away from his face. His eyes were still a bit bloodshot-from lack of sleep or too much alcohol, Joel wasn't certain-but overall his tidied-up appearance and change of clothes was a huge improvement.

  They all took a seat at the table, and Zach immediately started in on his soup and sandwiches like a starved man, which he most likely was. Joel decided to wait and give the man some time to eat his meal before talking to Zach about his proposal.

  Lora took a sip of her coffee, sweetened with cream and sugar, and was the first to speak. "Zach, what happened to your face? Those look like fresh cuts and bruises."

  "They are," he admitted, already finished with one of the sandwiches. "This is what you get when you make a payment on an outstanding debt, so you can imagine what happens when you don't." He gave his sister a lopsided grin, obviously meant to make light of the situation.

  Lora wasn't at all charmed by the smile. "You made a payment? How did you manage that?" She frowned at him in confusion, then realization struck before Zach could reply. "Don't tell me you're still gambling!"

  Zach's demeanor immediately changed, his entire body stiffening defensively, which was an answer in itself.

  Lora stared at her brother in shock, unable to believe the depths he'd sunk to, yet he was digging himself deeper and deeper into debt. "You have no money to gamble, Zach," she said, stating the obvious. "Or should I ask, whose life are you playing with now?" It was a low blow, she knew, but she wasn't about to sugarcoat the situation.

  Animosity tightened the clench of Zach's jaw. "Look, I borrowed some money from a friend, okay?"

  "A friend?" Her doubt rang clear in her voice. "How much interest does this friend charge?" she went on persistently. "No matter who it is, you're borrowing from Peter to pay Paul, not to mention that my life has been at a standstill since you handed over my insurance policy as collateral. What happens when you don't win a poker hand, Zach? When you lose all the money you just borrowed from someone else?"

  Zach dropped his spoon into his empty bowl with a loud clatter, a muscle in his cheek twitching with suppressed fury. "I'm doing what I can to get myself out of this fucking mess."

  "What you're doing is digging yourself deeper into debt, not to mention doing desperate things in order to keep yourself, and now me, alive," she replied heatedly. "Your life is spiraling out of control and it has to stop."

  The hand Zach had on the table curled into a tight fist. "I'm handling it, okay?"

  Lora glanced at Joel, who sat quietly across the table from her, watching the bitter argument between her and Zach. Up to this point she'd dominated the conversation, and judging by the understanding look in Joel's eyes, he knew that she'd needed to vent and had given her that oppo
rtunity. But now, she needed him to intervene with that proposition for Zach that he'd mentioned earlier.

  Joel cleared his throat and sat forward in his seat, and Zach automatically looked his way. "I have an offer for you," Joel said calmly. "One that would pay off your debt, get those thugs off your back, and eliminate the threat hanging over your sister's head, too."

  Zach's gaze narrowed with suspicion, but was quickly eclipsed by a curiosity that got the best of him. "Go ahead," he said gruffly. "I'm listening."

  "I talked with Jon, Ben, and Kevin, and we're willing to pay off your outstanding debt with this Lanny Mendoza guy, and anyone else you owe, in order for you to start off with a fresh, clean slate." Joel paused for a second to let that sink in before adding, "But, the new loan from us and our company, ESS, comes with a few stipulations."

  "Of course it does." Zach replied drolly, and crossed his arms over his chest. "Let's hear it."

  "In exchange for us paying off your debt and getting your sister's life insurance policy off the block for collateral, you need to agree to rehab for your gambling and alcohol addictions. Once you've completed that program, the guys and I want to offer you a job at ESS, which will pay you enough to make a decent living as well as pay back what you owe us."

  Lora's mind reeled at Joel's generous proposal, and she had to resist the urge to jump up and shout "yes!" to the offer for Zach. But, it wasn't hers to accept, and she glanced anxiously at her brother. While Lora was thrilled and knew what a golden opportunity this was for Zach to start a new life for himself, as well as get the help he desperately needed, her brother clearly didn't share her enthusiasm.

  In fact, Zach looked downright furious. "What the hell is this, some kind of fucking setup?" he demanded, staring hard at Joel. "I come here to see my sister, and you accuse me of having a gambling and drinking problem and want to lock me up in some kind of psychiatric facility? Nice way to show your gratitude for me saving your life, Wilde Man."

  Joel didn't so much as flinch. "This is my way of showing gratitude, you ass. Quid pro quo. You saved my life, I'm trying to save yours, and you damn well know it, so don't start looking for someone else to blame for your problems."

  "Well, I don't have any problems to fix," Zach sneered. "This one thing got a little out of control, and you both are making a bigger deal out of it than it needs to be."

  "Oh, really?" Joel leaned closer to Zach, his expression as ruthless and cutthroat as a man could get. "Look at your sister and tell her that, so when those thugs come looking for her again, she'll remember that you don't have a gambling addiction, and those men are going to kill her for no reason at all. How do you feel about that?"

  Joel's deliberately brutal words had the desired affect on Zach, hitting him where he was most susceptible. Rage flared across her brother's features, and he stood up so fast his chair hit the back wall behind him. "Fuck you, Joel!"

  "The truth hurts, doesn't it, Zach?" Joel's mouth flattened into a grim line.

  "You don't know the first thing about my situation," Zach said through clenched teeth.

  "I know enough, Zach." In a smooth, fluid motion, Joel stood, too, looking far stronger and more intimidating than Zach. "I know you're so far gone, and so desperate, that you really have no concept of what you're doing to your life, and your sister's. And if you go back to gambling and start losing and can't pay back your debt, those guys aren't going to kill you, Zach, because that doesn't do them any good at all. Instead, they're going to torture you, little by little, until you're barely hanging on and in so much pain you beg them to let you die, but they're not going to put you out of your misery. Then, they'll go and find your sister and kill her so you can collect on her insurance policy and pay them what you owe. And maybe, if you're really lucky, they'll finally leave you alone."

  The picture that Joel painted with his harsh words was utterly morbid, and it chilled Lora to the bone. She understood what Joel was doing, that he was attempting to break Zach down and force him to face his demons. And, ultimately, to get him to admit that he did, indeed, have a problem and had dug himself into a hole so deep, there were only two ways out… Lanny Mendoza's way, or Joel's way.

  "This is fucking bullshit!" Despite Zach's brave tirade, he was trembling, and panic flashed in his eyes, along with a stark fear he couldn't conceal no matter how hard he tried.

  Her brother's denial was so painful to watch that Lora felt her chest tighten to the point that it became difficult to breathe. She wanted to yell at him for being so stubborn and stupid and too proud to accept help, but Joel had everything under control and didn't need her falling apart on him, too.

  "What it is, is your reality," Joel told Zach. "I'm offering you a clear-cut way out. You've already lost everything. You have absolutely nothing to lose by accepting my proposition, and so much to gain."

  "Forget it." Zach backed away from the table, scrambling to put distance between himself and Joel and the truth threatening to strangle him. "I'm out of here." He spun around and strode out of the kitchen to the front room.

  "Oh, God," Lora said on a sob, and started after her brother, ready to do or say whatever it took to make him see reason. She was terrified that if he walked out that door she'd never, ever see him again.

  Joel caught her arm before she could chase after him. "Let him go, Lora," he said gently. "He has to want to change, or else we'll all be wasting our time."

  The front door slammed shut behind Zach, and Lora felt her heart pound just as hard. Tears stung the backs of her eyes and her throat grew raw. "What is it going to take to make him want to change?"

  Joel didn't bother to disguise his own pain over the situation. "Hitting rock bottom."

  A harsh, humorless laugh escaped her, and she cringed as she heard Zach's vehicle skid on the gravel drive as he left. "I thought he already had."

  "Not quite." Joel pulled her into his arms, and she went willingly, needing his comfort and strength to get her through this agonizing experience. "I just hope he comes to his senses before it's too late."

  So did Lora, because she knew that despite her brother's obstinance, she'd never be able to live with herself if anything bad happened to Zach.

  AFTER Zach's abrupt departure, sleep was impossible. Lora tossed and turned in her bed and listened to the rain outside until six in the morning. She could hear Joel moving around in the living room, and she decided that there was nothing left for them to do at the cabin. It was time to get up and get dressed, pack their small bags, and head back to the city.

  Within an hour, they were ready to go.

  While Joel did one last check of the cabin and made sure that the fire in the hearth was completely extinguished, Lora stepped outside and came to an immediate stop when she saw a large figure huddled on the front porch. Instantly, she recognized the straggly, damp brown hair and dirty and stained coat covering the slumped form as Zach's.

  "Oh, no," she breathed, her mind already thinking the absolute worst. She fell to her knees beside her brother and shook him, hard, and experienced a flood of relief when he lifted his head and opened his bloodshot eyes. "Zach, are you okay?"

  "Yeah… just dandy." He tried to smile, but his expression was heartbreakingly bleak and desolate. He shifted on the cold wooden planks, and an empty pint of vodka rolled out from beneath his coat. He glanced from the bottle to Lora and murmured, "There's absolutely nothing left."

  It was a bizarre statement, and she couldn't help but think that he was referring to more than just the empty bottle of booze that he'd undoubtedly consumed. She wondered if this is what Joel had meant when he'd said that Zach had to hit rock bottom, because her brother certainly appeared lost and bereft and she couldn't imagine him falling any further into his own personal hell.

  Joel came out of the cabin and the screen door slammed shut behind him, the sound making Lora jump.

  She glanced behind her, unsure what to do. "He came back," she said, praying that was a positive sign and a step toward Zach aiding in hi
s own recovery.

  Joel crouched down beside her so he could be on eye level with her brother. "What's going on, buddy?"

  Zach met his gaze without the cocky, brash attitude he'd displayed toward Joel only hours before. "Is your offer still on the table?"

  "That all depends on what changed your mind," Joel replied mildly.

  Zach dragged both his hands down his face and released a rough exhale of breath, and it was clear to Lora that this wasn't easy for her brother. "I got as far as the main road when my car ran out of gas and I realized I didn't even have enough money to fill even a quarter of the tank." He shook his head pathetically. "So, I walked back here in the rain while drinking my last bottle of booze, and now I have nothing left. No money. No place to live. No job. And pretty soon, no life."

  Emotion clogged Lora's throat, and she swallowed back the pressure so she could reassure her brother of the one thing that mattered the most. "You have us, Zach."

  He looked at her, the pain and hopelessness in his gaze more honest and real than anything he'd shown them so far. "I can't do this anymore, Lora," he said in a choked voice. "I'm just so damn tired of running and looking over my shoulder and not knowing if every day is going to be my last. I want out, and I want my life back," he whispered.

  "Well, we can definitely help you with that," Joel said, and straightened to his full height once again. "It's not going to be a quick, easy process, but I do need a verbal commitment from you that you're willing to do whatever it takes to get the help you need for your addictions, and your life is yours again."

  Zach nodded in understanding. "I'll do it." He pushed to his feet and stood.

  "Good," Joel said, pleased with Zach's acquiescence. "Let's get you back inside the cabin. There's enough food here for at least another week, and I'm going to call and see which one of the guys can stay out here with you until we settle your debt and make sure your life, and Lora's, are no longer in danger."

  At the mention of her name, Zach glanced at her. "I know I royally screwed things up, and I'm sorry, Lora," he said gruffly, putting aside his own pride to extend the apology she deserved. "I swear, I'll make this up to you."