Born to Be Wilde

by Janelle Denison

  She offered him a tremulous smile. "As of right now, you are." As grateful as Lora was for Zach's turnaround, she knew her brother had a long road ahead of him, most of which would be an uphill struggle before things smoothed out for him.

  Zach turned back to Joel. "Thank you." He extended his hand to the other man. "Semper fi, Wilde Man."

  The beginnings of a smile curved the corner of Joel's mouth. "Semper fi, Marshall," he replied, then shook the hand Zach offered, in friendship, camaraderie, and the kind of brotherhood that could have only been formed by their time in the military together.

  Semper fi. Always faithful.

  Lora could see and feel the integrity between the two men, and it made her believe that everything, in time, might just be okay for her brother.

  Chapter Seventeen

  DANIEL parked his Volvo in front of The Electric Blue and cut the engine. Other than Sydney's car, the lot was completely empty, which was strange to see since he'd only been there in the evenings, when the area was crammed with vehicles and there was usually a long line of customers waiting outside in hopes of getting into the bar for a guaranteed good time. Having his own intimate connections with the bar owner, he was always lucky enough to bypass that queue of people no matter when he arrived.

  But his visit this afternoon had more to do with business than the kind of pleasure The Electric Blue had to offer. After watching Cassie over the past two weeks, throughout normal class time and again during after school tutoring, he'd finally figured out what was going on with the teen and the reason she was exhibiting inconsistent grades in her homework and math tests.

  As soon as his students left his classroom after tutoring that afternoon, he'd called Sydney and told her that they needed to talk. Since she was trying to finish up payroll and inventory before her crew showed up in a few hours, he'd offered to stop by The Electric Blue on his way home.

  He exited his car, hit the lock and alarm switch, and headed toward the establishment's front doors. Judging by Sydney's reaction over the phone, he knew she was anxious to discover why her daughter was having a difficult time in his class when Cassie had never had an issue with math before. Daniel had found the whole cause behind Cassie's apparent struggle in math amusing and typical of a teenager, but he'd learned enough about Sydney, and how overly protective she was of her daughter, to know that she was not going to take the news of Cassie's deception well at all.

  He knocked hard on the establishment's main door, and less than a minute later Sydney was there, letting him inside, looking gorgeous and sexy, as always. Soft auburn curls spilled over her shoulders in a sultry disarray, and she was wearing a long-sleeved, low-cut cotton top that hugged her voluptuous curves, as did her skinny jeans. After a quick hello, she led him back to her office, where they could sit down and talk. She sat down behind her desk, and he took one of the chairs in front of her.

  "So, what's up with Cass?" she asked, getting right to the point.

  As Sydney stared at him impatiently, Daniel had the distinct and unsettling feeling that today's conversation was going to be a turning point for them, and not in a good way. That all the emotional headway he'd made with her over the past few weeks, all the dates and getting-to-know-you conversations they'd had, and the hot foreplay that he never let turn into the actual sex she wanted from him, was going to go up in smoke right before his very eyes.

  He could tell by her rigid posture and the guarded look in her gaze that she'd already erected those frustrating barriers between them. The ones that told him she was falling back into that self-preservation mode of hers that shut down her emotions and kept him at a distance. It was such a natural, ingrained response from her that he was pretty sure she didn't even realize she'd done it. But he read those signals loud and clear, and it didn't bode well for him at all.

  "Earth to Daniel," she said, waving a hand in front of him to get his attention. "Are you still with me?"

  "Sorry." He shook his head to wipe those other thoughts from his mind, and redirected his focus on the reason he was there. "You know I've been working with Cass over the past few weeks, and watching her during tutoring, and I'm pretty sure I've discovered what's up with her inconsistent homework and test scores."

  She folded her hands on top of her desk, her fingers clasped tight. "Is everything okay?"

  "Well, that depends on your definition of 'okay,' " he said lightly. Knowing they were about to tread upon a very serious topic, he choose his words, and explanation, carefully. "The good news is, Cassie is completely capable of doing the math homework I give out, and her test scores have improved."

  "Thank God," she said, breathing a sigh of relief that also released the beginnings of a smile. "I've been trying to stay on top of her at home on a nightly basis, and I'm sure the after school tutoring is helping, too."

  "Tutoring does have something to do with her improvement, but not in the way you think. The thing is, Cassie never needed the help in the first place."

  Sydney's smile immediately faded, and confusion creased her auburn brows. "I'm not quite sure I'm following you on this."

  Standing, he came around to where she was sitting, and propped himself on an edge of the desk that wasn't piled with paperwork. "Remember when I told you that I encourage students to pair up during after school tutoring sessions to help one another while I'm working one on one with someone?"

  She leaned back in her chair and nodded. "Yes."

  "Well, I noticed that when I made the suggestion that the students choose a partner, Cassie was quick to pick hers." There was no easy way to tell Sydney what he knew, no way to sugarcoat the truth that would send this protective mother over the edge. So, he attempted to keep his tone and demeanor casual, in hopes that it would keep Sydney calm, too. "She chose a boy named Ryan, who I noticed also tends to flirt with her during regular class time."

  Sydney's complexion paled, and her eyes grew wide with something akin to fear. "Oh, God, are you saying that Cassie deliberately dropped her test scores and grades to get into after-school tutoring in hopes of being with this boy?"

  He slid his hands into the front pockets of his khaki trousers. "That's definitely how it looks, though I didn't want to call Cassie on her behavior until after I talked to you."

  "Well you can be damn sure I'll set her straight as soon as I get home!" she said adamantly, then ran a shaking hand through her hair. "What the hell is she thinking, playing dumb and risking her grades for some boy?"

  Daniel could tell that Sydney was on the verge of hysterics, and decided to share with her the positive aspects of the situation. "What's funny is that Cassie did most of the helping when she was paired up with Ryan, because she knew the problems, and as a result they both ended up with an A on a test I gave the class." He grinned.

  "Hell, if she can tutor the boy and get his grades to improve, too, what's wrong with that?"

  Her gaze narrowed at him. "What's wrong is that she has no business getting involved with this boy!"

  "He's a nice, decent kid, Sydney," he said, trying to soften the situation and reassure her that Cassie hadn't gone after some hoodlum. "He's even a little shy. I've met his parents, and they're good people, too. The kind that care about their son and his education. Just like you do with Cassie."

  "I don't give a shit if he's the Prince of England!" She abruptly stood up, her tone angry, "Jesus, was he the reason why she wanted to go to that Halloween party so badly?"

  "I'm sure he was there," he said automatically, then wished he'd kept his mouth shut when Sydney grew even more furious.

  She paced to the other side of the office, and he felt the distance she put between them like a cold chill. "God, now she's lying to me and sneaking around, too. What's next?" Her voice broke with anguish.

  He sighed, trying to keep his own frustration in check. "I'm sure it's not as bad as it seems."

  She spun back around and glared at him. "You did not just say that."

  He truly didn't understand her extreme reac
tion to the situation, "It's normal teenage behavior, and I see it all the time at school. She's a fifteen-year-old girl who has a crush on a boy and wants to get his attention. In her mind, playing down her math skills so she could get into after school tutoring was her subtle way of doing it." He moved off the desk and stood, facing her. "Trust me, kids do stupid things sometimes, and while I agree that Cassie never should have jeopardized her grades, I've seen kids do much, much worse." Cassie's actions were mild in comparison to the kind of the peer pressure some girls caved into in order to impress boys.

  Sydney's chin jutted out, and she crossed her arms over her chest defensively. "Yeah, well, I know what that 'much worse' is, and there is no way I'm going to let Cassie make the same mistakes that I did."

  He had the feeling that they'd just crossed over into uncharted territory for him-that for as much as he knew about Sydney and her past, there was a whole lot more he didn't know that tied into her need to insulate her daughter from the real world. "What are you talking about, Syd?"

  "I know exactly what teenage boys want from girls who show them the least bit of interest," she stated adamantly. "I already told you about my past, about my mother's heroin addiction and overdose and how I was sent to a foster home. Well, what I didn't tell you was that it was my own foster brother who took my virginity and got me pregnant with Cassie."

  What came to mind was the worst kind of scenario he could imagine. "He raped you?"

  She shook her head, causing her curls to tumble wildly around her face. "Oh, no, he didn't have to force me." Her tone was infused with bitterness and regrets. "I was fourteen years old, I already had the body of a centerfold, just like my own daughter does, and Tim Carson was two years older than I was. He said all the right things and led me to believe that he loved me, and because I was so young and naive and wanted more than anything to be loved, I gave in and had sex with him. Three months later I'm pregnant and Tim's denying that he's the father, and his parents chose to believe him. In fact, they accused me of trying to trap their son by claiming the child was his, then promptly called the state to come and pick me up."

  The pain etched on Sydney's expression made Daniel's heart break. He'd known she'd had a rough past, but he had no idea just how bad it had been. Now he understood that tough attitude of hers, but he also knew it masked a more vulnerable, insecure side to Sydney, as well. Like the woman who craved love and acceptance, but had never received it. A woman who'd opted to be brash and bold in order to protect her emotions.

  And most especially, a woman who based a relationship purely on sex, because she didn't believe herself worthy of love.

  "After that, Tim told his buddies at school that I was nothing more than a whore who put out, which had most of the guys making lewd remarks and crude advances toward me, because being a slut and all, they were sure I'd have sex with them, too," she went on, and paced the small area across from where he stood. "They were pigs, all of them, and especially Tim, and I swore I'd never, ever, let any boy take advantage of my daughter that way."

  "Not all guys are that way, Sydney," he said gently. He wasn't like that, but despite his numerous attempts to prove that to her, she didn't want to believe that, either.

  She released a scoffing laugh. "Tim might have been the first one to take one look at my big breasts and curvy body and decide that he wanted to screw me, but it's been that way ever since. Guys only want one thing from me, and I've learned to deal with that in my own way, but my daughter is not going to be in that situation if I can help it!"

  He moved across the small office, until he was close enough to feel the agitation radiating off of her. "So, what, you're going to put Cassie in a chastity belt until she's of age?"

  She glared at him. "That is so not funny."

  "You're right, and I'm sorry." He released a sigh of breath and gave it another shot. "I guess I see all this from a different perspective, along with my experience of being around hormonal sex-crazed teenagers all day long. The thing is, sooner or later, sex happens, Sydney. But to your credit, you've raised a really smart girl with a good head on her shoulders."

  Sydney wasn't the least bit swayed by his point of view of the situation. "Yeah, well, that's not going to keep some boy from getting into her pants, now is it?"

  "No, but neither is forbidding her from seeing or dating some boy, which will only force her to sneak behind your back to do it," he argued. "You just have to trust that when she's put into that kind of sexual situation, she's going to make the right decision and be smart about it." Reaching out, he caressed his fingers along her smooth cheek and softened his tone as he continued. "Besides, Cassie has one thing going in her favor that you didn't at her age. She has a loving and caring mother. There's no reason for her to go looking for those things, or to be swayed by a boy's declaration of love. Not if she doesn't want to be."

  She jerked away from his touch, a hint of desperation shining through the fierce façade she was attempting to cling to. "You just don't get it, Daniel."

  Ahhh, the evasive "you just don't get it" dictum, which, in Sydney's case, meant just the opposite. He was getting too close and too personal, and while she was doing her best to erect emotional walls between them, he was more than prepared to tear them all down. One by one, if need be.

  "I get it more than you realize," he said, taking a more direct approach. "In fact, I get that this is more about you than it is about Cassie."

  An impatient sound escaped her. "What the hell are you talking about?"

  He shrugged. "It's about you and your past and how you've lived your life."

  "How I've lived my life?" she repeated, brows raised incredulously. "Please, do tell me what you think you know."

  If she wanted to play that kind of hardball, then he was game, and he didn't hesitate to step up to the plate. "I think that as a result of what happened with Tim and those other boys who thought you were easy, you decided to use sex to your own advantage, and as a way to keep any guy from getting too close. Sex is pleasurable and easy, and if you keep it all about the physical, it keeps you in control and there's no threat to your emotions. How am I doing so far, sweetheart?"

  "Not very well," she lied. "You're way off base."

  "Really?" he drawled lazily. "Then what have you been doing with me for the past few weeks? You've been trying to use sex to scratch whatever itch you think you might have, and you've been annoyed as hell that I haven't given in to your numerous attempts at seduction and screwed you, like every other guy that's come before me. That would have been ideal for you, wouldn't it have been?"

  She jabbed him in the chest with a finger. "You are so full of shit."

  He laughed, but the sound lacked any true humor. "Personally, I think I'm hitting way too close to the truth, and you don't like what you're hearing."

  "Go to hell, Daniel." Her nostrils flared, as did her temper. "In fact, while we're at it, why don't we just put an end to this thing between us, right here and now."

  That didn't surprise Daniel one bit. It was an easy way out, and she was taking it. "Just in case you didn't know, because you haven't had all that much experience with them, it's called a relationship, Syd."

  She waved a hand between them and adopted an I-don't-give-a-damn attitude. "Yeah, whatever you want to call it, it's not going anywhere."

  Oh, but it was, or else she wouldn't be scrambling to end things. "It's just not going where you want it to go. Isn't that what you mean?"

  She glanced away and rubbed at her forehead with her fingers. He knew he was putting her through an emotional wringer, but it was necessary if they were going to have any chance at a future together, and he wanted that with her more than anything.

  Finally, she looked back at him, her fortitude back in place. "The truth of the matter is that a relationship between us would never work. We're just too different, Daniel."

  No way was he letting her off with such a simple, unexplained statement. "How so?" he persisted.

  She clearly wasn
't happy that he was pushing the issue, but to her credit she didn't brash off his question. "Look at you, and look at me. Compare your childhood to the one I just told you about. Compare my heroin addict mother and my father who was a nameless John, to your wealthy family who no doubt cares about those things," she said critically. "Your parents would take one look at me, and once they found out I had a daughter at the age of fourteen out of wedlock, and that I own a bar where I dance on the countertops to entertain the customers and help sell more alcohol, they'd probably disown you for being involved with someone like me."

  Disowning him would be a bit extreme, but unfortunately, he knew his parents had a tendency to judge people. "I don't give a shit what my parents think of you."

  "Well, you should," she said, her gaze bright with conviction. "They no doubt expect someone better for you. Someone who is sweet and refined and loves going to Sunday brunch with the family and would be satisfied to be a stay at home mother and wife."

  All the things she believed she wasn't. "My parents do expect a lot from me, but I've never bended to their expectations and I don't intend to now," he stated firmly. "If that were the case, I'd be a doctor, not a math teacher, and I would have married the sweet, refined debutante my mother set me up with when I was twenty. This is my life, not theirs, and I don't need their permission to date you, or anyone else."

  She suddenly looked tired and weary, but she didn't back down from her own personal fight. "Let me set you straight, Daniel. I'm the kind of woman that men fuck, not the kind that they take home to meet their family or marry."

  He met and held her dark gaze. "I disagree."

  "Well, then it's time for you to pull your head out of the clouds and face the reality of who and what I am." Her expression hardened, grew cool and defiant and relentless in her quest to make him understand. "I was a stripper in a gentlemen's club for years, because the tips were outstanding and it helped me to survive and take care of Cassie. Men paid me damn good money for the illusion of sex, no big surprise there," she added wryly. "But do you know how I got the business loan to open up my own bar? The guy at the bank struck a deal with me. Sex in exchange for him pushing my loan application through. So, I slept with him to get what I wanted. Not exactly what a good girl would do, now is it?"