The Pull of Destiny

by Hotcheri

  And now here was Shazia looking like she wanted to skin me alive and feed me to rats. Yikes.

  “Whatever, Astor,” Ahmed said idly as he spotted his ride, a slick, white limo, winding up to the school entrance. “Gotta go. You staying over tonight?”

  Shaking my head, I said, “Nope, sorry dude. My sister wants me home.” I stretched my closed fisted hand out to meet his. “Pound it.”

  We fist bumped as Ahmed laughed loudly. “My sister wants me home,” he said scornfully. “Daddy’s little princess.”

  “Sure, Ahmed,” I said, unperturbedly as I rolled my eyes and walked away. I waved to Shazia as I left. “See you, Shazia.”

  She didn’t answer, just glowered at me. I deserved it, I knew that much.

  That’s why I was going to try to make things right between CiCi and me in detention. I was planning to pull out all the stops, even though I was sure I was fighting a losing battle. This was the second time I had dissed CiCi in front of my friends, the second time I had made her beautiful eyes fill with tears. Why would she forgive me? Her anger made perfect sense to me, even though it had really turned me on. Angry CiCi was such a hellcat and as weird as it may seem, when her eyes were flashing with anger, that was hot.

  She was early to detention (go figure). Her bag was on the floor next to her feet and a book was in her hands. She gave no sign of even noticing my entrance into the room as I sat down in the empty desk in front of her and turned my chair around to face her.

  “Hey, Celsi,” I said friendlily, smiling in her direction. No answer.

  I was positive she wasn’t even reading.

  “You can’t ignore me forever, you know,” I pointed out. “Sooner or later, you’re gonna have to talk to me.”

  That worked. Slowly, she put down her book and looked at me. She didn’t say anything, just stared till it made me nervous. I grinned weakly at her. “Hi.”

  “You don’t get it, do you?” she said finally, her voice like music to my ears. Unfortunately, what she was saying was all bad. Great. Still, at least she was talking, albeit in a voice so cold I could almost see icicles forming.

  “Get what?”

  “I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t want you talking to me. I just want to get through detention and leave. So do me a favor and just shut up.”

  The calmness of her voice belied the fury raging in her eyes.

  Impulsively, I reached over and put my hands over hers. “I know you’re mad and you have a right to be. But just-,” I started.

  She pulled her hands away and placed them safely in her lap. “If you say ‘let me explain’ one more time, I’ll stab you in the eye with a pencil.”

  I leaned back in my chair, spreading my arms out wide. “Go ahead, do it.” CiCi’s mouth dropped open as she gave me an ‘are you nuts’ look. I wasn’t joking. Maybe if she did something to hurt me, it would make us slightly even. I hoped.

  “You’re joking.”

  I shook my head. “Nope. If it makes you feel better, go for it. Slap me, pull my hair, spit on me- whatever you want. Open season on Luke day. If it gets rid of some of your anger, that’s fine with me. I deserve it. Hurt me like I hurt you.”

  “No thanks.”

  CiCi went back to scrutinizing her book as I bit my lip, feeling perplexed.

  “CiCi, listen-,” I started, sighing.

  “No, you listen.” CiCi looked up again, this time brandishing her pencil. Her eyes were blazing again and I licked my lips involuntarily. Shit. Could she get any hotter? I tried looking at her lips in an effort to concentrate on what she was telling me, but got sidetracked by the color of her gloss. Dark pink. God, they would probably taste of strawberries. “You think I’m stupid enough to think that slapping you will hurt you like you hurt me? What makes you think that? Actually, don’t tell me. I won’t stoop to your level, Luke. I’m not going to slap you because that won’t hurt you. So just shut up and keep your dumb ideas to yourself.” Her lip curled as she gave me a scathing look. “And quit staring at me like that, you perve.”

  My eyes widened as Miss Swanson walked in.

  “Okay, Luke, move to the other end of the class,” she barked. “I don’t want to see you even look in Celsi’s direction.”

  Without saying anything, I stood up and walked to the desk Miss Swanson was pointing at. She placed a file in front of me. “This is work you simply haven’t bothered to do. I don’t expect you to do all of it, but at least answer three questions.”

  Okay. Miss Swanson was effectively on my shit list.

  I sat through detention feeling frustrated every time I happened to glance in CiCi’s direction (which was often). At the end of my ordeal, Miss Swanson called me up to her desk to hand in my completed work. By the time I had walked out of the class, ready to punch walls, CiCi was gone.

  Misfire.

  As I played with Faith later on that night, (or more correctly, as Faith attempted to style my hair using a mixture of gel and play-do) I realized that I only had one option left. Since CiCi wasn’t going to listen to me, I had to swallow my pride and ask Shazia and Robyn for help. There was no possible way they would help me, but I’d come this far. I didn’t want to lose CiCi as a friend till I’d excised every possible avenue. By asking her friends, the people who knew her best, I had nothing to lose but my pride.

  Next Day at School.

  I had to wait until Shazia and Robyn were alone (i.e. without CiCi) before I could approach them. When that finally happened it was almost lunch time and I was just giving up hope, then I spotted the two at Shazia's locker.

  Robyn saw me first and folded her arms across her chest as I came up to them.

  “Well, well, well, if it isn’t Douchebag of the Year,” she drawled coolly, giving me a head to toe look as I stood in front of her. “You know, you make me sick. How can you use a girl like Celsi for your own selfish needs like that?”

  “I didn’t use her,” was all I could come up with. Two sets of cold, brown eyes were fixed on me, and that was making me nervous.

  Sniffing derisively, Robyn muttered, “A likely story.”

  “What do you want from us?” Shazia's voice caught me off guard.

  Swallowing my pride, I said, “I need your help,” in a soft voice, looking surreptitiously around, just to make sure that nobody was listening.

  Robyn ran her fingers through her thick blonde hair. “Unless you’re looking for a way to kill yourself- I’ve heard that arsenic is painful- we don’t have anything to say to you.”

  “Look, guys, I feel terrible for what I did to CiCi-,” I started, scratching my neck nervously.

  Shazia cut in, swinging her bag onto her shoulder. “So why’d you do it?”

  “I just- peer pressure got to me, I guess,” I replied. “I didn’t know what to say.”

  It had been all about the peer pressure, just not in the conventional way. And the only person I planned on telling the whole story to was CiCi, if she would ever talk to me again.

  Scornfully, Robyn said, “How about the truth, that you and Celsi are actually friends?”

  “They wouldn’t like that,” I said defensively, even though I wasn’t too sure what I was being defensive about. “You know what they’re like.”

  “I know what you’re like when you’re not with them,” Shazia told me, shaking her hair over her shoulder and giving me a piercing look. I stared at her as she continued. “Do you really have to act like a jerk to look cool?”

  As hard as it was for me to admit it, I knew Shazia was dead on. I did act like a jerk to look cool. I did say a lot of things I didn’t mean to feel accepted. I just hadn’t planned on anyone seeing through that deception, especially not my friends little sister.

  Shrugging, I said, “It’s what everyone thinks I am, so- what else can I do?”

  Robyn watched us, her eyes wide as Shazia shook her head.

  “But you’re not, Luke. I used to think that you were but now I see through your ‘spoilt little rich kid’ act.”
She put her head on one side, looking into my eyes. “You’re not the guy you make yourself out to be.”

  I couldn’t even say anything as Shazia spoke. Everything she said was true. How the hell did she know that I was a big phony?

  “Preach, Shaz babe,” Robyn grinned, slinging an arm over her best friends shoulder.

  Shazia smiled at me. “If you show Celsi that you can be humble and not care so much about what your friends think, you might be able to win her back.”

  I gave a rueful grin. “I think it’s too late for that,” I admitted. “I was just hoping that you guys could tell her that I didn’t mean what I said and I never meant to hurt her.”

  “It’s never too late,” Shazia said, a ghost of a smile on her face.

  “And we’re not doing your dirty work for you.” Robyn gave me a fierce look, putting her hands on her hips. “Tell her yourself.”

  Oh, like I haven’t tried about a thousand times already!

  “She won’t listen to me,” I said, striving for calmness when all I felt like doing was throwing a tantrum and screaming ‘help me’! The girls were being no help at all!

  Robyn pursed up her lips. “Honestly, Luke, does that surprise you?”

  I sighed, feeling lost. “You guys have been tons of help. Thanks.” I started walking away. Now what?

  “Remember what I told you,” Shazia called after me. “Drop the act and you’ll be fine.”

  Feeling frustrated, I headed for Math class. So much for that plan. I understood and respected the fact that Shazia and Robyn probably didn’t want to get mixed up in the mess that I was responsible for creating and they had a loyalty to their friend, but that meant I was now officially stuck.

  “Dave Renfrew, please report to the locker room.”

  Or was I?

  The loud voice over the PA system made me stop dead in the hallway. As cursing students bumped into me, an idea was starting to form in my mind. A very stupid, potentially embarrassing, exceedingly dangerous idea that just wouldn’t quit.

  Shazia's earlier words echoed in my head. ‘If you show Celsi that you can be humble and not care so much about what your friends think, you might be able to win her back.’

  I stared up at the ceiling, looking up at the speakers that were hooked up to the PA system, shaking my head at my plan. There was no way I could get away with doing this. I would be expelled for sure. But if it meant clearing up things with CiCi, I would take the expulsion. There were plenty of nice schools in NYC. Maybe I wouldn’t even need to go to another school, because my dad would probably kill me if I got expelled. I shrugged carelessly. Fuck it. I was gonna do this. Not only would it prove that I was serious about my friendship with CiCi, it was also a way to knock one more thing off of my list. Making up my mind, I turned around and headed towards the PA room.

  Luke’s Bucket List- Make a complete and utter fool of myself

  Celsi’s Point of View

  “So he was trying to get to me through you guys? That low life!”

  I shook my head in disbelief. Why was Luke approaching my friends? You didn’t see me going to his friends and asking them to tell him to stop being a jerk. Probably because you know they would run you out of town, Celsi.

  Wrinkling up her nose as we passed the Science lab, which smelled of ammonia, Robyn said “IDK, he seemed pretty legit to me. Too legit. Too legit to quit.”

  Shazia giggled behind her hand at Robyn’s spontaneous outburst of foolishness and I rolled my eyes at her naiveté. Obviously Luke seemed legit. He could pull off the puppy dog look better than anyone I knew. That didn’t mean he was telling the truth, it just meant that he was a great liar.

  “He’s a good actor,” I said as I tightened my ponytail.

  “Nobody’s that good. You should have seen the look in his eyes when he said he thought it was too late for him to try get back on your good side.” Shazia patted my shoulder. “Trust me. He’s torn up that you won’t talk to him.”

  A vindictive pleasure swept through me. “Good! Let him be torn up,” I said spitefully, then paused, giving Shazia and Robyn searching looks. “Wait a minute. Is this part of your plan with him to get me to forgive him? Because it ain’t happening.”

  “What’s going on between you two is your own business. Robyn and I aren’t involved and we’re not helping him,” sensible Shazia replied calmly.

  “Shaz gave him advice on how to win you back though,” Robyn said in a sing-song voice, hiding behind me and sticking out her tongue at Shazia.

  I stopped walking (not easy in a crowded hallway with other students elbowing you out of the way) and stared at Shazia.

  “Win me back?” I asked suspiciously.

  Cheeks flushing, Shazia nodded slowly. “I might have used those words, yes.”

  My curiosity was piqued. What on earth had they talked about? No wonder my eye had been twitching all through Music.

  “Why’d you give him advice to win me?” I asked.

  “All I said was for him to humble himself-,” Shazia started.

  I snorted. I couldn’t help myself. That’s unlikely.

  Furnishing me with a dirty look, Shazia continued. “-And not care about what his friends think-.”

  Snort.

  “Okay, can you not snort?” Shazia exclaimed exasperatedly.

  “We all know there’s no chance in hell that’s gonna happen, so I don’t have to worry about him winning me back. Now, let’s forget about that sucker and go grab some lunch. I’m starved.”

  I linked arms with Shazia and Robyn and we started walking again, but not for long.

  “Good afternoon school. This is Principal Herman with an awesome announcement: You're all expelled!!!” A student in the hallway screamed as, instinctively, we all looked up at the PA speakers in shock. “No, I’m just playing, just a little joke. Can you imagine, though?”

  Robyn frowned slightly, tapping her nose with her finger. “That’s not Principal Herman,” she said.

  “Yeah, you’re right,” Shazia agreed, also squinting up at the PA speakers like that would solve the mystery. “In fact, it sounds like-.”

  “Luke. It sounds like Luke.” I stared at Robyn and Shazia. “What the hell?”

  “Okay, so I lied. I’m not Principal Herman even though I think he’s doing a really great job. I’m actually Luke Astor.” Knew it! Luke’s magically amplified voice boomed through the hallway as crowds of students stood around, listening and wondering what Luke was up to now. I was one of them. “You might know me from gossip around campus but here’s your tip for the day: don’t believe everything you hear.”

  A couple of students standing near us said, “What the hell is he doing?”

  We didn’t have long to find out.

  “So, you’re probably wondering why I’m on the PA. Well, a few days ago, I did something evil to one of the nicest people I’ve ever met.” My mouth dropped open. Oh no he isn’t! Oh yes he is! “Now she won’t talk to me coz I really messed up bad.”

  “Oh my God he’s talking about you,” Robyn exclaimed in an awed whisper. I shook my head. He couldn’t be. He had to be talking about someone else. Had to be.

  “You all know Celsi Sawyer, right?” Students started to murmur and I hid my face in Shazia's hair. “I call her CiCi but she told me not to after our- incident. She’s the tall girl with the hazel eyes and the kind heart.”

  “With a description like that, everyone will know who you are,” Robyn whispered sarcastically.

  But it seemed that more people knew who I was than I thought, because faces started turning towards us and several people pointed. Oh, what I would give for an anonymity filled life.

  “-took advantage of that kindness big time.” Luke sighed. “I’m a snob, okay? I admit it. I hang out with rich people and I don’t want to mix with people outside my clique. That’s something most of us are guilty of so don’t judge me. But I had an opportunity to get to know Celsi and I realized that I’m a jerk. Because when my friends started c
onfronting me about why I was hanging with her, I lied and said she was the one who was sticking to me and I was just using her to piss off my dad. Can I say ‘piss’ on the PA?”

  “No! My 5 year old sister goes here!” a jokester in the crowd yelled. My mouth was wide open and my eyebrows were raised in a classic stunned expression. Was he serious? Why was he doing this?

  “-want to clear this up because I tried apologizing in person and she won’t hear me out. I don’t blame her. So here it is, folks, you’re all my witnesses. Celsi Sawyer is my friend. If anything, I’m the one who sticks to her! I didn’t ask her to the charity ball to piss off my dad, I asked her because I enjoy her company. So if anyone, especially Ahmed, Joanna, Wendy, Denise and Jake has a problem with that, you can all suck it. Seriously. Celsi, I’m sorry.”

  I jumped as he addressed me personally, the PA only amplifying the remorse in his voice.

  “I know I hurt you. I know I keep on hurting you and I shouldn’t. I won’t. You really don’t deserve that, especially from me. Please forgive me. You don’t even have to talk to me again after this if you still don’t want to, but please forgive me. I’m holding the PA room hostage so that I can apologize to you coz you deserve it. I don’t care about what anyone else thinks about this.”

  Eyes bright, Shazia nudged me. “I told him that!”

  “Shhh!” Robyn waved Shazia to silence as Luke continued.

  “The whole school should know that we’re friends. So, what do you say, Celsi? Just one more chance.”

  “Oh my God, this is so humiliating,” I whispered to the girls.

  Robyn gave me an ‘are you nuts’ look. “I think it’s sweet! He’s making a total fool of himself over you!”

  Shazia appeared to agree. “I knew he loved you!”