The Pull of Destiny

by Hotcheri

  I shook my head swiftly. “No he doesn’t,” I protested. “He just- he wants-.”

  Shazia grinned knowingly. “What? Even you can’t make excuses for this. He has nothing to lose and you to gain. It’s the cutest apology ever!”

  Really? Excuse me while I squee.

  “I’m not gonna stop talking till you accept my apology, Celsi. So till you come to the PA room, I swear I’m gonna sing.”

  “What are you still doing here?” A random blond junior walked up to me, his hands in his pockets. “Go accept the man’s apology!”

  I gaped at him. I had no idea who he was, yet he was talking to me like he knew everything that had gone down.

  “But-,” I started wildly, just as Luke launched into a spirited rendition of ‘Grace Kelly’.

  A tiny girl with raccoon eyes popped up beside me. “He’s obviously sorry! If a guy as hot as Luke did something like that for me, I’d be there in a heartbeat!”

  My eyes widened as a host of people swarmed down upon me, everyone talking at the same time.

  “-forgive him.”

  “He sounds sorry.”

  “It’s Luke Astor, dude!”

  I took a deep breath. Okay, okay, I’m going,” I announced, like it was even anyone’s business if I went to the PA room or not. “If only to put a stop to this nonsense.”

  As I hurried towards the PA room, the sound of applause reached my ears. Like it or not, Luke had succeeded in turning me into a school celebrity, even though it was only for now. I am not enjoying my 15 minutes of fame.

  I found the school technician sitting glumly outside the PA room, a coffee mug in his hand. The door was closed.

  “What’s going on? I asked, even though I had a feeling I already knew.

  “You tell me! I go to get a cup of coffee and when I get back, some crazy kids taken over my base and tells me he’s sorry, but if my name isn’t Celsi I can’t come in.”

  I smiled despite myself. Classic Luke all the way.

  “I think he wants to talk to me,” I said delicately.

  The technician’s eyebrows rose comically. “You mean you’re Celsi?”

  I nodded. “Yeah.”

  He pushed me to the door. “Well, get in there, then! What’s a guy gotta do to apologize around here?”

  Funny. Everyone’s on Team Luke, huh?

  Knocking on the door, I wearily said, “Luke, open up. It’s me, Celsi.”

  Luke stopped singing (thank God) sounding excited, said, “She’s here! I hope she doesn’t have a weapon. Last time she tried to hit me with a book. And let’s not forget the incident with the pencil...”

  “If you don’t open the door I’m leaving!”

  “I’m there, wait a sec.”

  There was a click as Luke unlocked the door. He opened it and, wrapping his fingers around my wrist, pulled me in and closed the door behind me.

  I pointed immediately at the microphone in his hand. First order of business. “Turn that thing off.”

  He immediately flicked the switch off and put the mike on the table. “Sorry, I got used to using it,” he said, smiling apologetically.

  Putting my hands behind my back, I looked at him. “Well, I’m here.”

  “CiCi- what do I have to do to make things right between us?” he asked morosely, biting on his bottom lip nervously as he looked at me.

  “Oh, I don’t know. Not go on the PA and spread my name all over school, that’s for sure,” I said coldly. “I’m sure I didn’t tell you I wanted my business out in the open for everyone to know.”

  “That wasn’t my intention,” Luke started.

  “Coulda fooled me.” I turned to leave. “Way to humiliate me, Luke.”

  My hand was on the door handle when Luke put his hand on my bare arm to stop me. I swiveled around, my skin prickling.

  “Wait.” An endearingly confuzzled expression darted onto Luke’s face as he looked at me. “You were mad at me coz I couldn’t tell my friends that we were friends. Now I tell the whole school and you’re still mad? I thought that’s what you wanted?”

  I sighed. “Luke, you’re missing the point. We’re not friends anymore.”

  Hurt was visible in Luke’s eyes as he swallowed. “Please, CiCi. Don’t be like this. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’ll even get down on my knees-.”

  Alarmed, I shook my head as he started bending to get down on his knees, looking up at me all the while. “Don’t,” I said quickly.

  “I’m fresh out of ideas, though.”

  I looked at him, noting the crestfallen look on his face as he kicked the table with his sneakered foot. If this was an act, it was the best I’d ever seen. He sure looked torn up. But could I trust him? I didn’t need to be hurt by Luke again. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. The phrase didn’t even go up to ‘fool me thrice’ and for good reason- nobody let themselves get fooled three times by the same person.

  “Luke- did you really mean what you said about not caring about what your friends think?” I asked suddenly, twisting a piece of my top between my fingers.

  For some reason, I just felt the need to know. I knew that the wisest thing to do was just leave, but I couldn’t, stupid me. Looking at Luke’s face made me want to hug him, but since I definitely wasn’t going to do that, my next option was to ask questions.

  Luke laughed humorlessly, spreading his hands. “Celsi, I don’t give a fuck about what they think right now.”

  “Why? You’ve known them for way longer than you’ve known me.”

  “I know.” He shrugged. “But I feel like I’ve known you forever. I feel more connected to you. You’re just- you’re just right.”

  Wide eyed, I looked at his serious face. What does he mean, I’m just right?

  “I can’t go through something like this again, Luke,” I said, almost in a whisper. “It hurt.”

  “I’m sorry, CiCi. It hurt me too. When you started crying-.” He swallowed hard, reaching out to grasp my hands. I let him, looking into his sincere eyes as his fingers brushed across my knuckles. “I felt like scum. I hate doing that to you, Celsi.”

  “Can I ask you a question?” Luke nodded. “Are you just apologizing so that I can keep your secret about the aneurysm?”

  It makes sense in a twisted kind of way. I was the only person who knew about Luke’s aneurysm and he had made me mad. Who knows, maybe I was vindictive and hurt enough to let it slip in a conversation with a well know gossip (think Robyn) who would in turn tell the whole school! So, in an attempt to do some damage control, Luke was trying to apologize so that I could see that he was sorry and not spill his secret. I knew he was sorry- you couldn’t look at his face and not know that he was sorry. But just because he was apologizing didn’t mean that he hadn’t meant what he had said about me.

  The look on his face when I asked that question made me feel like a dope for even thinking about it. Obviously, the thought hadn’t even crossed his mind.

  “No. Absolutely not,” he said with such conviction that I knew that he wasn’t lying. He let go of my hands and picked up the microphone, looking at me over his back. “I can even announce it to the whole school if you want.”

  Honestly, his propensity for using that thing is starting to alarm me.

  “No, don’t!” Snatching the mike from his hands, I put it back down.

  “I don’t care if you tell everyone I’m sick as long as you’re still my friend,” Luke told me fervently. Pure sweetness. “I don’t care about the list anymore; all I care about is you forgiving me. I’m not apologizing because I’m scared you’ll tell everyone about my aneurysm, I’m apologizing because what I did was wrong, stupid and cowardly. I feel like a tool. And I-.”

  Celsi hates holding grudges. I stared up at Luke as he talked and decided. How could I stay mad at a guy who would hold a PA room hostage just to get his slightly screwed message across? Humiliating as it was, it was still genius.

  “I believe you,” I said softly, biting my lip.
Celsiana Sawyer, this better not come back and bite you in the booty.

  “-because you- what?” Luke stopped talking, scratching his head.

  “I said I believe you,” I repeated. “And I accept your apology.”

  If you’ve ever seen the sun come out from behind clouds to brighten the day, you’ll know exactly how Luke looked when I said those words.

  “You do? Really?” he asked, sounding like he couldn’t quite believe it. I wondered if I could pinch him and get away with it.

  Rolling my eyes but secretly chuffed at the slow grin of unadulterated happiness that was spreading over his face, I said, “Well, it’s not like I have a choice. You are holding the PA room hostage.” Smiling, I added, “And you look sorry.”

  “I am! I really am! But- wow. Damn. You sure?” Despite the smile on his face, he looked totally unsure. Last time I checked, he was the erratic one, not me!

  I tossed my head. “Luke, I can backtrack on this decision any second.”

  “No, don’t! I just thought- this is so awesome!” Impulsively, he threw his arms around me in a bone-crushing hug. “Thank you! I’m so happy!”

  So happy that he tried to do a little dance with his arms still wrapped around my back and tripped over a wire on the floor. He barreled into me and I fell with a thud on my back, my head not hitting the ground by an act of divine providence. Luke fell on top of me, laughing elatedly as his warm, comforting scent surrounded me.

  “Are you okay?” he chuckled, his minty breath fanning over my face.

  “I think so. Stop laughing.”

  That only made him laugh harder, his body shaking and sending vibrations through mine. “I’m sorry, but I always wanted to do that to you! Think of it as payback!”

  “Luke...” I said, trying for a warning tone but sounding breathless instead. He was lying right on top of me, his eyes looking directly into mine. It was a scarily intimate position to be in.

  “Celsi,” he murmured in response, his eyes on my face.

  My body started to tingle with reaction as his hands, which had been on my hips, slowly roamed up my sides and to my neck as if to hold me where I was. What’s going on? His eyes were still fixed sexily on mine, a mischievous light in them, but wasn’t there something else? I stared wide eyed up at him as he bent his head lower, his warm, muscular body pressing against mine. His bottom lip grazed mine and I drew in a shaking breath. This wasn’t a mistake. It was really happening. Luke wanted to kiss me and God help me- I wanted him to kiss me. Just as our lips touched tantalizingly, the door burst open and Luke jerked back.

  “What the hell is going on in here?”

  Oh, no. Principal Herman.

  “Get off of her, kid,” the PA technician growled, pulling Luke off of me to his feet. I blinked as Principal Herman extended his hand to help me up, and then glared at us both. Too many things to process. Not fair.

  “I fell,” Luke explained, fighting to keep a grin off his face. Didn’t he realize we were in trouble? This was surely grounds for suspension. Adding fuel to the fire was the fact that we had been found in that incriminating position. God, what would Nate do to me if he found out? And how could I tell Aunt Kelly I got expelled?

  Principal Herman ignored Luke, turning to me. “What was he doing to you?” he asked.

  “He tripped over a wire and fell on me. I was trying to get him to leave this room,” I explained, hoping against hope that he would believe me. We had done nothing wrong. Well, I had done nothing wrong. Luke- a whole nother story.

  “You’re in deep trouble, young man,” Principal Herman snapped, his cheeks reddening as he turned back to an unrepentant looking Luke. “You’re lucky I owe your father a favor or I would have expelled you.” He pushed Luke through the open door. “Go wait for me in my office. You’re overdue for a bunch of detentions.”

  Luke turned to give me a happy grin before sauntering off. Principal Herman gave me a scrutinizing look. “Are you sure he didn’t do anything to you?”

  I nodded. All I wanted to do was leave the room since the technician was wiping his microphone and crooning softly to it. This was too much strangeness for me to take in one sitting. “He just fell, Principal. I swear. He would never do anything to me.”

  Apart from try to kiss me when we’re in weird situations. What was up with that?

  Appeased, Principal Herman nodded. “Okay. Steer clear of him. He’s bad news. You can leave.”

  About time.

  I scurried out of the room to the nearest bathroom, where I locked myself in a stall and sank down on the toilet seat, trying to collect my racing thoughts.

  Luke had just tried to kiss me. Again. And if Principal Herman hadn’t blundered in and ruined everything, I would have kissed him back.

  Cringe.

  CHAPTER 21

  back to reality

  .

  Luke’s Point of View

  Luke’s Bucket List- Complete a video game- any video game. Wish on 11.11 pm. Sleep under the stars.

  You can’t please everybody.

  No matter what I did, I had to face the repercussions. Think about it: All I had wanted to achieve with my PA room abduction was to get CiCi talking to me again, and in the process I had managed to piss off three very different sets of people. How fucked up was that?

  Let’s start with the obvious one- Principal Herman.

  After throwing the hugest tantrum in his office (‘I can’t believe you would pull a stunt like that!’ ‘What if there had been a school wide emergency?’ ‘And what the hell were you doing, lying on top of that girl? Our school doesn’t need a sexual harassment case!’) Principal Herman saw fit to give me ten detentions and a warning that if I got into any more trouble at Dalton, it was over. Boy, he was so pissed that I almost laughed in his face, which was interesting, since I was pissed off at him, too. The guy basically threw off my groove with CiCi by barging in, just as I had been about to make my move.

  Because, yes, I had been about to kiss her, dammit. Ever since that day she had blown up at me, kissing her had constantly been on my mind. Sure, trying to kiss her after I had just gotten her forgiveness wasn’t too smart on my part, but I wasn’t usually the sharpest knife in the drawer, especially when it came to timing.

  The look on her face when I was lying on top of her was what had made me throw all my reservations out of the door. CiCi was all wide-eyed innocence with her soft skin, strawberry smelling hair and pouty lips and I wanted her so bad. Looking into her beautiful eyes as I lay on top of her, feeling her heart race through the thin fabric of my t-shirt- shit, who wouldn’t want to kiss her?

  As weird as it was for me to admit it, I wouldn’t have minded getting expelled if it had meant really kissing CiCi. I couldn’t ever have her, I knew that. My dad would freak. My friends would bitch. Our classmates would talk smack behind her back. There was no way I would do that to her. But just one kiss might be enough to rid me of the fascination I had with her. When and where that kiss was going to happen was all up in the air. But it was going to happen, and soon. Because if it didn’t- I would go insane if I didn’t kiss her.

  Next up- Ahmed and Co.

  By going through all that trouble (by trouble, I mean taking over the PA room, which was easier and quieter than taking candy from a baby) to get CiCi to talk to me again, it seemed that I’d broken the cardinal rule in our clique that I had no idea existed- bro’s before ho’s.

  Seriously.

  Ahmed was the one who hunted me down after my lecture from Principal Herman, a pissed off expression on his face, and let me know that my little PA presentation hadn’t gone over well with him, Wendy and Jake.

  “You picked her over us, dude. I can’t believe you picked Celsi Sawyer over your friends! Are you nuts?” was his parting shot, not waiting to listen to my feeble explanation.

  Not that I even had an explanation, because let’s face it- I owed CiCi that apology big time. So for Ahmed, Wendy and Jake not to put that into the equation was just plain s
elfish. They loved hurting people and making others look small and stupid just for the hell of it but I was starting to realize that I was different. Or maybe I was making myself different because I didn’t want to be an asshole anymore. Whatever the reason, I just hadn’t wanted to live with the guilt of making CiCi cry.

  Joanna was also mad at me, for purely selfish reasons (as usual). She was sitting in the desk next to mine when I walked into Math class and as soon as I sat down, she let me have it.

  “Why did you never do anything like that for me when we were dating and you messed up?” she hissed into my ear as I gave her a quizzical look.

  “What?”

  Joanna tossed her sleek hair over her shoulder, glaring at me. “We argued all the time! And we were always breaking up! Why’d you never go on the PA to apologize to me?”

  I laughed. Couldn’t help it, the killer look on Joanna’s face was hilarious.

  “Because the makeup sex was good,” I joked. “Jo, you seriously can’t be mad at me because I apologized to Celsi over the PA-.”

  Screech!

  Joanna pushed her chair back, stood up and went to sit next to Wendy. For the rest of the class, the girls shot the filthiest looks in my direction till I felt like covering my head and running for shelter.

  They weren’t the only people who were mad at me, though. I swear, people I didn’t even talk to were putting their two cents in about the situation. The general consensus seemed to be that I, Luke Astor, had sold them out when I ‘chose teams’. That’s actually what a perky blonde told me, just as school was out. “You chose Team Celsi over Team Dalton, and you’re going to pay,” she said, her voice filled with conviction. “She’s not an Upper East Sider, she’s not one of us. You are. And you just sold out.”

  Obviously, when I told Ahmed, Wendy, Jake and Denise to suck it if they didn’t like it, a lot of people took it to heart.