saint Sebastian the Rose

by Glover, Michael W.

  Sebastian also lost himself in her eyes. Had he ever looked into anyone’s eyes like he had hers? Had anyone ever opened up like that to him before? He knew no one had. He felt guilty for not being completely honest with her, but how could he give up this feeling so easily? Maybe she would never have to know. For now, he would suffer his lie and relish old feelings that were new again.

  He felt himself lean over and place his head on her shoulder. He felt her smooth hair and could smell the sweetness of her skin. Jessica felt Sebastian relax. She knew there was nothing else she could do at the moment that was more important. They might miss them at dinner and probably come looking for them but she wouldn’t leave, not for anything.

  They sat there, not speaking, and Sebastian almost felt as though he had gone into a deep waking sleep, and nothing bad could come to them. Opening his eyes, he wondered how long they had been there. Jessica sat, never wavering in her support of this young guy whose soul was wounded.

  Sebastian fixed his gaze on the windows of the monastery as they reflected the moon’s image coming over the trees. Darkness had come down as they lingered, and he knew safety was an issue. Ready to continue the day, Sebastian stood, and taking Jessica’s hand, brought her to stand next to him.

  If ever he hated the night, now was not the time: Jessica took on a glow in the moon’s light and was more beautiful than anything he had set eyes on in his life.

  “I want to show you something,” Sebastian said as he pulled her toward the castle.

  After making their way into the monastery, the Grand Staircase Hall opened up before them, Sebastian leading the way. The hall was mostly dark, save for a few lights on the walls. Halfway across, Jessica looked up to the top landing of the stairs to find her twin, Jacob, watching them cross the floor, heading for the door that would take them down.

  She held his stare until she passed through the threshold and could no longer see him.

  Sebastian let her stand in the room looking around, and he went to the other door. This door was different; this one was so beautiful, and she knew it was special. Sebastian disappeared behind it, leaving it halfway open so that the faint light played on the interior and gave her a sneak peek as to its true self.

  Sebastian returned after some shuffling, holding a small wooden box that looked to be as old as the monastery itself. He came over to Jessica and placed it in her hand.

  Jessica held the box and felt the wood, absorbing its rich design. She held the box up to her nose, closed her eyes and breathed in the aroma, letting the memory completely etch itself on her brain. Nothing would ever take this away; she would remember it always. She didn’t even have to open the box to know how she felt.

  When the box opened the smell came again but was more powerful. Inside she saw actual petals from a rose, dried and covering something. She reached inside and felt the metal, cool and smooth. The chain came out from the petals, and at the end was a charm. The charm was a combination of two symbols entwined together—a cross and a heart—neither remarkable, but together they became powerful. The cross was simple, and the heart was made of several bands of silver, a three-dimensional design wrapped around the cross with a ruby in its center. Jessica held the necklace up before her, eyes fixed on the charm as it flickered in the candlelight.

  Sebastian took the ends of the necklace from her and moved behind her. Jessica looked into his face as he moved and saw what looked like pain; she slowly moved her hair to the side. He connected the ends and let his hands fall to her shoulders as she let her hair fall back. She turned to face him, expecting to see the expression of pain, only to find a look of longing.

  “Why?” Jessica asked.

  “It was my mother’s. Something so beautiful should not be unadorned,” Sebastian said, leaving the implication hanging. The comment was not lost on Jessica. More than a comment, it was; more like a compliment she would not let go unanswered.

  Jessica stepped in slightly, coming closer to him. She leaned in slowly and lightly touched her lips to his, so lightly the touch remained something elusive and left them in a moment of wonder.

  Time surely slows during these rare moments in life. That first time someone makes you laugh so hard it hurts, the first time someone makes you look twice and they notice, and the first time you kiss someone who wants to kiss you as badly as you want to kiss them. The world could end at moments like these, and no one would take any notice. Surely this is how the world should come to an end.

  chapter TWENTY

  JACOB HAD ENOUGH OF WAITING and was more than a little upset; he didn’t like the feeling of being left out of the group. There was no way he would just sit there and do nothing, so he set off down the massive stairs looking for someone he could be around.

  After making his way to various rooms, he started looking for his father. He missed him. Without the family presence of his sister he needed the security of his dad. The smart place to look was obvious—the room where he spent almost all of his days … and nights, in some cases.

  He came to the small anteroom which he had previously thought was the library, only this room was like the front room of a grand theatre, just the tip of the iceberg which stretched out, unbeknownst, behind the double doors. Jacob walked up to the doors and reached slowly for the edge, his nerves getting the best of him—he expected someone to push open the door any second.

  Thankfully, he touched the door, with no surprises, and opened it. There in front of him again was the massive room that went down before him, up above him, and to each side. The rows of bookshelves repeated themselves and went on so far as to give the perspective of almost having a vanishing point.

  The dim light emanated on several of the desks down the center aisle. They must have been occupied because there were books spread across them. Jacob looked around, trying to discern any movement or sound to give away the presence of anyone. Nothing came.

  Not feeling very brave at the moment and not really wanting to enter the room alone, Jacob maintained his ground at the top of the stairs. Most of the rooms had a feel or a presence to them; that was not unnatural, and Jacob had become accustomed to the sense. But this room seemed different. Maybe it was just the fact there were so many different places here: the room was not a simple large open area one could inspect and take in the whole space. This room seemed to be watching.

  Jacob felt apprehensive. How silly he was to be afraid of an empty room! Was the boogieman hiding there?

  “There is no boogieman,” Jacob said quickly, responding to his subconscious thoughts. Then he made a face and thought again: there actually was a boogieman or even boogiemen for all he knew.

  Suddenly Jacob was seven again and asking his dad if there was anything upstairs, or in his room, or in his closet, or under his bed. With his childhood revisited he realized he may never go to sleep again unless exhaustion took him.

  “I am not seven,” Jacob spoke with resolve and began to make his way down the stairs. The steps made no sound. They were stone, and there was no give to them, merely the worn edges showing the passing of many curious intellects. His silent entrance comforted him as he stepped to the floor.

  This was his first foray into the heart of the library, and he felt a little lost but also amazed. Most might only see a lot of books, but Jacob saw much more in the books: he saw their differences, their individual characters and knew they each were speaking to him, wanting to tell him their own stories.

  Further down the center aisle he walked. Feeling very small now, Jacob looked back to the door he came from and confirmed it was still open. He continued to walk, listening for his footsteps, but there was no echo; the acoustics were very good, maybe too good. The thought did not comfort him in the least.

  As he came to a desk he noticed a large pile of books; the notepads with scribbling and pencils scattered over them was almost the giveaway. The true giveaway was the cup of coffee that was cold—his father’s cup.

  Jacob looked harder at the books. They varied from
histories of cemeteries and grave listings, to myths of the local areas, and even books on astronomical guides. He sat down, beginning to sift through the papers. As he was doing some quick scanning he caught himself holding his father’s coffee cup and nearly taking a drink. Where was his father?

  Jacob sat up, his sixth sense kicking in. He knew someone was behind him.

  “Seeking knowledge?”

  Jacob turned, releasing the great breath he had been holding. There behind him was his father with an armload of books, accompanied by Father Donovan. They had walked up on him without the slightest noise.

  “Seeking you. Did you ever think of checking in every once in a while?” Jacob said, turning the tables on his parental figure. Thomas Ridgeway seemed amused by his son’s role reversal and had nothing to say but simply tilted his head in acquiescence.

  “Your father has been very kind in his effort to help us in our hour of need.”

  “Even though I am a little confused as to how some of this will help find a missing person or solve a mystery,” Ridgeway said.

  “I am afraid we are not blessed with the law enforcement populated areas take for granted. The clues given to us are wrapped up in some kind of riddle that has been left to us. Only history will explain,” Father Donovan said.

  Jacob shot him a worried look. He wanted to say more but was not sure if this was the time to break the news to his father. Father Donovan understood Jacob’s worries and was ready for this moment.

  “I have arranged for your family to leave tomorrow.”

  “What?” Father and son spoke together.

  “There is no need for you to stay and put yourselves in possible harm’s way. I would not stand for that. If there is any danger I would not sleep well if I did not do all that I could to protect our guests.”

  Ridgeway and his son started to protest even though both had completely different reasons for staying, but Father Donovan held up his hand in absolute defiance and silenced them.

  “I appreciate your help and your concern, but we are used to taking care of ourselves.

  “Now, with that said, I believe we are safe in the monastery, but you will leave tomorrow for civilization. We will appreciate anything further you may help us find in your remaining time. I must go and see what the others are up to, keep them focused. If you need anything, I will be available,” Father Donovan said, waving his hand in the air like he were going to disappear.

  Father and son watched the old monk’s retreating back. Jacob looked to his father, who was settling into his chair again and reaching for his cold coffee.

  “Dad, we need to talk,” Jacob said.

  “Girl problems?” his dad joked trying to lighten the mood.

  “Dad! I don’t know if you fully understand.”

  “I know. There is much I want to tell you, so much I have found, but now is not the time. I need to do some more digging, and you need to go and check in on your sister.” Ridgeway’s face was more serious and spoke volumes to his son. “I don’t want you away from her. Do you understand me?”

  Jacob nodded. He didn’t know all of what his dad had found, but he was a smart man and had obviously figured something out. With one final look he left his dad, who was bent over his desk under the reading lamp.

  chapter TWENTY-ONE

  JACOB SEARCHED THE CASTLE over looking for his sister, finally asking the other monks where Sebastian might be if he was not in his room. After receiving a couple of odd glances he was told that if Sebastian was in the castle but could not be found, then there was only one place he would be.

  “On the tower,” Father Lemoine told Jacob, saying nothing else. Jacob left his friend to his sorting without even acknowledging the items he was working with. On his way out, he did happen to procure one small item and stuffed it in his back pocket.

  He was a little tired by the time he climbed all of the stairs it took to reach the roof of the tower. Upon opening the door the breeze hit him. The night air was still cool, but there was a hint of warmth in its edge.

  Standing near the wall’s edge were Sebastian and Jessica, lit by the braziers roaring with life against the night sky. The top of the tower was alive, as the night’s sky played in the background, the moon’s light going in and out of the clouds as they traveled on the breeze.

  Jacob had only been up here once with his sister. Here they had discovered the view that had made this a special spot also. Was there any place in the castle that was not special in some way? The thought almost wore Jacob out. How could one place fill a person so full of emotion that it was almost more than he could bear?

  Intent on the lookout, Sebastian and Jessica had their vision fixed on the woods and the overlying hillsides. They stood close to one another; that reassured and yet troubled Jacob. He should be the one to be her protector; he always had been and would not give up that job easily.

  Jacob made his way to them. As he started, Sebastian turned his head to the side, seeing him approach from behind and Jacob could have sworn he saw a glimmer of bright light in the eyes that swept him. How had Sebastian even sensed his approach? The breeze was strong enough high up here to mask the sound of his footsteps. How aware he must have been to sense him; maybe he was worthy as a protector for his sister after all … maybe?

  The light Jacob thought he saw was gone as Sebastian turned to face one of his newfound friends, and surely Sebastian did consider both of them new friends. He knew they were friends because he would do all that he could to protect them; that is always how you can tell if you truly care for someone.

  The three stood in a small circle; they said nothing, just letting the moment hang there. Once again Jacob felt the moment and wondered how many could one person have in so short a time span. He tilted his head back and took a deep breath, looking up at the stars flickering in and out of the clouds.

  Would there be another time in his life when he would ever feel like this again? Was it the place? Surely the answer was yes, for the place was special, and how could you not feel these moments in such a special place? Could you go to Paris with a lover and not feel the romance of eating at a café in view of the Eiffel Tower? Could you go to St. Peter’s Basilica in Rome and not feel the urge to get on your knees and pray? The answer was clearly no.

  Jacob also realized the place was only part of his experience. An experience that is felt but not shared would only be half as powerful. To experience something with others magnifies the moment.

  “It’s a beautiful night,” Jacob said, wanting to share.

  “Very beautiful,” Jessica, also feeling what her brother was feeling, responded in kind.

  “No wonder Father Lemoine knew where you would be. Do you spend a lot of time up here?” Jacob asked.

  “I come up here when I can, when I want to feel like I am on top of the world. When I want to feel like nothing can touch me,” Sebastian explained what the twins understood completely now.

  “It is very different at night than in the day. Almost a different world,” Jacob spoke his observations like reading the thoughts of Sebastian before he could speak them. The beauty of the night was stolen from Jessica’s face as she studied the face of Sebastian. The look was of worry, concern, and sheer loss.

  “Do you think he is still out there?” she asked. Sebastian looked at them both, wanting to keep their hope alive, but he could not.

  “He is gone.”

  Their faces could not have changed more. They both looked at him for some sign of hope, something in his voice or in his face that would change what he just said.

  “It is unlikely he could survive with them out there.”

  The twins looked at each other and surrounded Sebastian, wrapping their arms around him. They had come to understand how close Sebastian and Father Matthew were.

  Jacob felt the time appropriate to make the announcement about what he had just found out. Bad news is bad news; there is never a good time to give it.

  “We’re leaving tomorrow.”


  All eyes were on him now. Expressions of shock and understanding played out on the faces of Jessica and Sebastian. Jessica was shaking her head, and Sebastian knew this was exactly the right course; it only made sense.

  “We can’t be leaving, not now! How can we be leaving in a time like this?” Jessica cried. She was defiant even in the face of coming danger, and Jacob knew something had changed in her.

  Sebastian was well aware the danger they were all in was the reason for the quick departure of their guests. They should not have to be in harm’s way. He knew Father Donovan was thinking of everything.

  “That is why you have to leave,” Sebastian said to her. “You don’t understand the danger you are in.”

  “The danger we’re all in,” she shot back.

  “Yes, the danger we are all in. But danger you should not have to be in. This is not for you to be involved with. You should not even know about this,” Sebastian reasoned.

  “But we do know about it! My god, we know there are these creatures who actually exist, things we have only talked about jokingly and made fun of in movies,” Jessica protested.

  “You don’t know the half of it,” Sebastian said as he turned back to look out over the walls.

  “What more is there to know?” Jessica prodded.

  “There are things you should never know. Hopefully, you will never know. You will leave here tomorrow and never look back, and your life will be the better for it.” Sebastian turned to see Jessica’s face, to see the look of despair. “Maybe one day you can return, but now is not the time.”

  “What the … ?” Jacob mumbled.

  Sebastian looked from Jessica to Jacob and saw his puzzled expression. Turning to look out over the wall, he scanned the lawn. There, moving from the far end of the woods, running fast across the yard was a figure, dressed all in white. Sebastian felt the fear well up in him: not now.