Lavinia's Window

by Michelle Weisen

  Lavinia looks forward to your Christmas gifts, but, more importantly, holds hope that you will one day acknowledge her with a letter. You are her father and your lack of communication causes her pain. Alex, many years have passed, and I hope that time has softened the unpleasant memories of the past. I understand your animosity towards myself, but I do hope that you might reconsider your position regarding your daughter. Lavinia brings love and happiness to all.

  Sincerely, Constance Randolph Spencer Millstone Manor

  Pink Verbena -“Family Union”

  Chapter 4

  Lavinia and Bubbles stopped at Constance’s garden and picked a few daffodils for Mrs. Lawson. They came in through the back, and Lavinia took off her muddy shoes and put them on the mat. She wiped Bubbles feet with a small towel kept in a basket by the door for that purpose.

  “Did you have a nice day today?” called Mrs. Lawson from the kitchen.

  “We surely did. Thank you for my special breakfast and my lunch,” said Lavinia as she presented the daffodils to Mrs. Lawson.

  “Such a dear little angel,” said Mrs. Lawson who hugged Lavinia to her ample bosom, and gave her a loud smacking kiss on the cheek.

  Lavinia giggled, “Will I ever get too big for hugs and kisses?”

  At that moment Claire strode into the kitchen and grabbed an apple from the counter. Mrs. Lawson swatted at her with the dish towel. “Those apples are for pie.”

  “You’ll never be too old for hugs and kisses from Mrs. Lawson. I know I am not,” laughed Claire as she put her arms around the plump little woman. “Leave Mother and come with me to Philadelphia.”

  “Sakes alive! Philadelphia? And what would Mr. Lawson do without me? Off with you both. I’m plenty busy!” She shooed them away affectionately.

  Laughing, Claire grabbed Lavinia’s hand, and dragged her from the kitchen. They ran up to Lavinia’s room.

  Claire sat on the divan and tucked her feet up underneath her, crunching her apple. “You know, we lived in the Philadelphia house before the war, but Mother moved back here with us to be with grandfather when Father and Uncle Edward signed up. I’ve always loved this room. It was Mother’s room before Julia got it, and I was given Aunt Marjorie’s room, but we shared it for a time. I was about five when we moved and very upset that Father had left. I started having nightmares. I would run from my room to snuggle with Julia. She would put her arms around me and sing such sweet little songs to chase away my fears. I adored her. Naturally, I refused to go back to the other room, so Mother had no choice but to let me stay with Julia.”

  “What was it like having a sister?” asked Lavinia.

  “Hmm. Although we were very different from each other, we were best friends. Julia was gentle and calm, more like Mother. She always knew the right thing to do. I, on the other hand, am quite temperamental and daring. I take risks when I sometimes should not. You cannot imagine how many times Julia interceded on my behalf for one misdeed or another. I believe there were times when I frightened her. No one knew me as well as she did.”

  “I forgot to ask earlier, what was Mama’s adventure?” inquired Lavinia.

  “Oh my, it was much more altruistic than my experience. Julia turned twelve at the end of the Civil War. She was deeply affected by the injuries that Uncle Edward and Timothy sustained. Julia worked with the pastor of our church to help soldiers and their families in our community. She participated in numerous food and clothing drives, but her true legacy was the Randolph-Spencer Children’s Fund, which she started with part of her inheritance from our grandfather. The fund benefited children whose fathers were killed or gravely injured in the war. She inspired many to give, and distressed families in our area were able to stay together as a result of her efforts. Julia loved those children, and she and Timothy worked for many years with the families. I believe that Timothy still keeps in touch with most of them. My father headed the fund, but Mother decided to donate the proceeds to the church after Julia died.”

  Claire rose and stood before Julia’s portrait.

  “As you can see, she was very beautiful but her true beauty lay inward. She had no idea what a powerful effect she had on people. Everyone wanted to be close to Julia, but she only wanted to be home, close to us and her community.”

  “I don’t understand. Why did she marry my father and go to New York?” asked Lavinia.

  “That is a sad and complicated story, Lavinia.”

  “Please tell me, Claire.”

  “It is not my place to tell it.”

  “Whose then? Grandmama?”

  “I don’t know.” Claire whirled around. “My goodness, look at the time! Lavinia, lie down this instant! Mother says that you are to be well rested for this evening’s festivities. No, not a word!” Claire picked up Bubbles and deposited him on the bed. Lavinia followed and lay down. Claire covered her with the quilt.

  “Sleep now, little one,” said Claire and kissed her forehead. She closed the door as she went out.

  “Bubbles, why wouldn’t Claire answer my question? She acted so strange.” Bubbles stared into Lavinia’s eyes and tilted his head to one side. Then he circled twice and curled up next to Lavinia, letting out a loud sigh.

  “I guess you are just as confused as I am.” Lavinia tossed and turned before falling into a restless sleep. She dreamed that she was calling out for Mama but no one could hear her.

  “Lavinia! Lavinia! Wake up!” Nancy was shaking Lavinia’s shoulder. “Look what Claire has brought for you!”

  Lavinia sat up, rubbing her eyes. Nancy pointed to the divan where a two-piece dinner gown lay. It was much grander than anything Lavinia had ever worn. “Oh, my!”

  “Oh my, indeed! ”

  Lavinia jumped out of bed and washed up. Nancy helped her with her petticoat and quilted corset. Lavinia stepped into the turquoise and ivory silk brocade skirt.

  “Oh, look,” said Lavinia, as she turned, “Claire used the new floor-length quarter train.”

  “Easier to get about, I should think,” said Nancy as she slipped the pleated ivory silk chiffon bodice over Lavinia’s head and hooked it up the back. Nancy tucked the bodice into the skirt and smoothed out the puffed turquoise sleeves trimmed with cream-colored lace. She arranged the plain turquoise satin overskirt so that the pleat trimmed with pink satin roses was in the front, and the material draped gracefully along the sides and back up into a small pink bustle. Finally, Nancy slid blue shoes with buckles set in turquoise upon Lavinia’s feet.

  Lavinia sat at her dressing table while Nancy fashioned her hair into a simple bun surrounded by a wreath of pink roses.

  “How do I look, Nancy?”

  Nancy stepped back. “Let’s see.”

  Lavinia turned this way and that for Nancy’s inspection. She was very excited and her eyes sparkled in anticipation of her big night.

  “Why, you are the picture of fashion! The color suits you and the blue matches your eyes. A young lady already.” Nancy became weepy. “Our little angel is nearly grown. Too soon for me.” She dabbed at her eyes with her skirt.

  “I’m still the same,” Lavinia assured Nancy, rushing into her arms to comfort her.

  A sharp knock at the door interrupted them.

  “Come in,” called Lavinia.

  The General entered in full-dress uniform. His mustache was meticulously trimmed and his silver hair shone. He wore a double-breasted frock coat with a dark blue velvet collar and cuffs. Two stars adorned the gold epaulettes, one on the pad and a smaller one on the strap. The buttons on the coat were positioned in three sets of double rows of three buttons as befitted his rank. A yellow sash with three rows of embroidery circled his waist and he wore his dress sword, a custom order from the German firm of Schnitzler and Kirschbaum. George and Martha stood proudly at his side.

  Lavinia gazed in admiration at her uncle. “You look magnificent, Sir.”

  “Thank you. I’m here to escort a certain young lady to dinner,” he said, offering Lavinia his arm.

>   Lavinia stood on tip-toe to kiss his cheek, and took his arm, “I’m ready.”

  “A good thing, too. Can’t abide silly self-absorbed females, primping in front of the mirror while a gentleman waits. I’ve brought you a gift.” The General gave Lavinia a small silver box. Inside lay a delicate gold necklace with a pearl pendant.

  Lavinia was moved to tears. “It’s lovely. Thank you so much.”

  “You’re welcome. Now turn around and let’s put this on. Does you no good in the box,” said the General as he fastened the clasp.

  “Oh, Miss Lavinia, it’s beautiful,” declared Nancy. Lavinia stooped to look in the mirror, admiring the necklace. “Now I am really ready,” said Lavinia excitedly. “Come, Bubbles.” “Good Lord! You’re not bringing that silly animal, are you? He looks ridiculous!” protested the General.

  Claire had thoughtfully provided a matching turquoise ribbon trimmed with straw-colored lace and tiny pink roses for Bubbles, which Nancy had tied around his neck. The little pug sat on the bed, looking expectantly at the General. “Of course I am. I’ll place him in his basket in the corner with his toys.” “Very well, far be it for me to tell someone to leave their dog behind.”

  The entourage made its way downstairs to the formal living room, where various relatives and friends awaited. A thunder of applause erupted when Lavinia and the General entered the room.

  “Darling, you look lovely,” exclaimed Aunt Mimi and Aunt Allie as they approached Lavinia. They were tiny silver-haired sisters in their seventies, and looked so much alike that it was hard to tell them apart. They had both been widowed for many years, but remained spry and animated.

  “Her dress turned out beautifully,” they commented to Claire.

  “Thank you, and thank you for your help.” Claire turned to Lavinia. “Aunt Mimi and Aunt Allie chose the colors, and also fashioned your overskirt.”

  Margaret White-Singer, a robust brunette fondly called “Pegs,” put an arm around Lavinia’s waist. She was Claire’s best friend and business partner. “You look smashing, darling. If we ever decide to branch out of the wedding business, we’ll use you as a model.”

  “I think you have enough to keep you busy for the time being,” said her husband, Martin, putting his arm around his wife and patting her stomach. “We’re expecting our first child and I’d like my wife to slow down a bit. Not that my opinion counts for much,” he said, kissing the palm of Pegs’ hand.

  “Lovely man,” murmured Pegs, caressing his cheek.

  “By the way, Lavinia, I was the one who picked up your shoes from the shoemaker. Pegs designed them, but nevertheless,” grinned Martin.

  “If you ever want to give up banking and work for us, we’re hiring,” laughed Claire.

  Lavinia hugged and kissed them all. “I don’t know how to thank you. I feel like a princess in this elegant dress.”

  “You’re welcome. By the way, Aunt Mimi also made Bubbles’ collar,” said Claire.

  “He’s adorable!” said Pegs.

  “Ridiculous thing,” sniffed the General.

  “Don’t be so dour, nephew,” scolded Aunt Mimi. “It’s a bit of fun for the festivities. I’ve also brought collars for George and Martha.”

  The General watched as Claire placed a blue ribbon trimmed with white lace and tiny red roses around Martha’s neck, and Constance fastened a jaunty red, white, and blue bow tie on George. The wolfhounds appeared pleased with their party attire and turned circles with excitement, much to the crowd’s delight. George and Martha eventually made their way over to the General. They sat in front of him, seeking his approval.

  “Most undignified indeed, although they do look splendid,” admitted the General as he patted their large heads affectionately.

  Lavinia sat and talked with various cousins while her aunts and uncles sat with Constance. They all lived in Philadelphia, and Lavinia was unable to see them as often as she would like, although they corresponded regularly. Ella and Charlie Brewer, fifteen and seventeen respectively, discussed their various activities in the city. Charlie attended Chestnut Hill Academy and was looking forward to attending Yale the following year. John Glynne, another cousin, also attended Chestnut Hill Academy and was an excellent equestrian at fourteen. He was quite sweet but had a tendency to become rather tedious since he only cared to discuss horses. John quickly tired of the conversation, and wandered over to the General, who was sitting with Timothy and Kevin. Kevin, like John, was quite knowledgeable about horses, and the two boys were soon deep in conversation.

  “It’s good to see young people here,” commented Constance to Claire. “I worry about Lavinia. She prefers studying with tutors versus attending boarding school where she could meet girls her own age.”

  “Lavinia is like Julia in that respect, Mother. Besides, I know you could not bear to send her away.”

  “True, I would miss her terribly, but Lavinia does not have siblings, which makes an enormous difference. I only want what is best for her.”

  “As do we all.”

  At that moment Mrs. Lawson announced dinner. The party moved into the dining room. The table was set with Constance’s Aynsley china and decorated with primroses for Lavinia’s birthday. Everyone dined on lobster salad, boiled pheasant with egg sauce, fresh trout, new potatoes, steamed cabbage, fresh tomatoes, and brown rolls with butter.

  After dinner family and friends retired to the drawing room, where Constance persuaded Timothy to sing while she accompanied him on the piano. A remarkable tenor, he sang some requests from the family along with some Irish ballads. The General asked Constance to play “The Stars and Stripes Forever” and stood up with his hand over his heart, tears streaming down his face. Aunt Allie also stood and held his other hand in both of hers. All were silent for a moment, and then Mrs. Lawson wheeled in a large birthday cake with pink and white icing, sparkling with candles. Everyone clapped and congratulated Lavinia. Constance and Mrs. Lawson had come up with a clever trick to disguise the damage caused by Martha. They had cut out the offending corner and created a small base with a picture of Lavinia atop, surrounded by flowers.

  “What a lovely idea,” exclaimed Ella. “Mama, please do that for my birthday.”

  Constance winked at Lavinia. The General cut the cake and passed hearty slices around. All agreed that the cake was as delicious as it was decorative. Afterwards Lavinia opened her presents. Aunt Mimi and Aunt Allie gave her a subscription to The Girl’s Own, a popular magazine. She received a portable easel and some paints from Charlie and Ella, and a book about horses from John. Uncle James and Aunt Belle gave her the sweetest pink bonnet with matching gloves, and Pegs and Martin gave her a new tennis racquet. Kevin and Timothy made Lavinia a maple chest with her initials carved into a heart on the top. Overwhelmed, Lavinia could barely speak. She thanked everyone over and over.

  At nine o’clock Aunt Mimi suggested that the family get ready to leave, as it was some distance to Philadelphia. Everyone began to gather their belongings with the exception of Pegs and Martin, who were spending the night and leaving the following day with Claire. The carriages pulled up and, after a half-hour of hugging and promises to get together soon, the family left. Constance walked with Lavinia back to the house.

  “What did you think of your day?”

  “Oh Grandmama, it was the best day of my life! I shall never forget it. Thank you for everything!”

  Constance picked up a drowsy Bubbles from his basket, and placed him gently in Lavinia’s arms. “Good night, little one,” whispered Constance. “I’ll send Nancy up to help you undress. Don’t read so late.”

  “You know me too well, Grandmama,” whispered Lavinia as she blew Constance a kiss. Constance watched the young girl tenderly carry Bubbles upstairs and her heart ached with love. She said a small prayer, thanking God for bringing Lavinia into her life.

  Constance walked down the hall and took a wool shawl from the coat closet and wrapped it about herself.

  “Going out?”

 
Constance turned to find the General watching her.

  “I thought I would say good-night to Julia.”

  “I’ll come with you,” said the General, offering Constance his arm.

  They walked along with George and Martha trotting behind them. The night was misty and cool. Edward opened the cemetery gate and followed Constance in. The family had brought several bouquets of flowers, which covered Julia’s grave.

  “I wish Alex would have consulted us regarding the headstone, it seems so inadequate,” said Constance. The epitaph simply read:

  Julia Spencer Rexford 10 April 1852 - 22 March 1871

  “Don’t distress yourself. No amount of words could sufficiently describe our beautiful Julia,” comforted the General. “Alex needed to be in control; you allowed him that much.”

  “I have made mistakes in my life, Edward, and I wonder if I should have taken it upon myself to mislead Alex about that particular date.”

  “Nonsense, you did not want Lavinia to know that her mother died on the day she was born. It harms no one, and allows the child to celebrate her birthday every year in joy, not sorrow. What does it matter if the headstone states two days later? Only you, I, and Mrs. Lawson know the truth, and we will never reveal it.”

  “That may be so, but I denied Alex the opportunity to see Julia before we buried her.”

  “What has been done cannot be undone.”

  Constance nodded and pulled her shawl tighter around her shoulders. Edward put his arm around her. Tears slipped down her cheeks as she laid her head on Edward’s shoulder. They stood together with George and Martha lying at their feet, each lost in their own memories.

  Hawthorne -“Hope”

  Chapter 5

  Lavinia sat on her window seat with her new journal in her lap and gazed out into the night. The light from the moon bathed her face in soft light. She ran her hands through her hair and closed her eyes, glowing with a mixture of happiness and pleasure. She thought about the events of the day and how they would impact the following year. Uppermost in her mind was the adventure that she would undertake, and how she would apply the virtues that would enhance her life. Finally, she wrote: