Lavinia's Window

by Michelle Weisen

  “Yes, a letter came.” Constance read the letter. “The mediation is scheduled for Friday afternoon in New York. We meet with Mr. Stewart tomorrow, and I believe there is a train that leaves late afternoon to New York.”

  “Where will we stay?” asked Lavinia.

  “James and Belle have an apartment in the city.”

  “Who’s going with me?”

  “Claire will accompany you,” said Constance.

  “You’re not coming, Grandmama?”

  “I am afraid that it will only antagonize your father, and I don’t want to do anything to jeopardize your chances, Lavinia.”

  “I understand. I am going upstairs to work on my list for the mediation. Come on, Annie.”

  Annie and Lavinia went up to their room, and Lavinia pulled out her list. “I am going to read these questions to you Annie, and I want you to tell me if you like them.”

  Annie nodded.

  The girls went over the list and added more questions and erased others. Finally, Lavinia was satisfied. “This is my own list, and I am not going to show it to anyone,” she told Annie.

  Annie put a finger to her lips and crossed her heart.

  “I trust you, Annie. I know that you won’t tell anyone.”

  The following day, Lavinia met with Mr. Stewart. Lavinia told him that she hoped to speak to her father alone during the mediation with no one else present. Mr. Stewart was very supportive, and explained the current law to her in a way she could understand.

  “I don’t know how everything will turn out, Mr. Stewart, but I thank you for the time that you have taken with me.”

  “I wish you good luck, Miss Lavinia. Your father is very fortunate to have such a lovely daughter as yourself.”

  “Thank you, Sir.”

  “Did Miss Spencer bring you down?”

  “No, my grandmama did, but my Aunt Claire will take me to New York.”

  “I see. Perhaps I’ll stop by her shop and discuss our meeting with her.”

  “You can if you like, but she gets very busy.”

  “Of course, as I am myself,” he added hastily.

  Claire arrived late afternoon with Lavinia’s dresses. She brought Mrs. Holder along to make the final adjustments.

  Lavinia tried on the bronze silk skirt trimmed with cashmere, which had a wide border of knife pleatings down the front. The basque, a jacket-like bodice of Oriental cashmere, opened over a bronze satin vest. The matching bronze velvet hat had ostrich plumes of bronze and dark red. A pair of light bronze gloves completed the outfit.

  “It’s lovely, Claire.”

  “I think you should wear this to the mediation. You look stunning. Let’s try on the second outfit.”

  The suit had a forest green skirt of light wool, trimmed on the bottom with two gathered flounces. The cream wool coat was trimmed with a fringe of green, brown, bronze, and cream, and was worn over a short-sleeved blouse which was finished with bows of brown and forest green ribbon down the front. A forest green velvet bonnet trimmed with loops and strings of brown and bronze ribbon matched the suit.

  Claire placed bronze kid boots on Lavinia’s feet. The boot was open in the front and laced with brown silk lacing. “A perfect fit, and these boots will go well with both outfits.”

  She stood back observing Lavinia’s outfit with a practiced eye. “Mrs. Holder, give a tuck to the waist of this skirt. It hangs a bit loose.”

  Lavinia took off the suit and put on a robe. Claire folded and packed Lavinia’s clothes with the help of Mrs. Holder.

  “Did Mr. Stewart stop by?” Lavinia asked.

  “I don’t know,” replied Claire. “I was out most of the day. What did he want?”

  “He wanted to talk about the meeting.”

  “Don’t you feel prepared, Lavinia?” asked Claire with concern.

  “I am as confident as I can be,” Lavinia replied.

  “Then there is no need for further discussion.”

  “I think Mr. Stewart wanted to see you.”

  “What makes you say that?”

  “I don’t know. I just got that feeling.”

  “He’s awful.”

  “But he isn’t, Claire. He is gentle and kind, and brilliant too.”

  Claire looked up in amusement. “Sounds like you might want to see him,” she teased.

  “He’s far too old for me,” giggled Lavinia.

  “Well, he’s far too stuffy for me,” said Claire, and she kissed Lavinia on the nose.

  Time passed quickly and before Lavinia knew it, she was saying good-bye to Grandmama, the General, and Annie. Claire had put Bubbles in a small carrier so he could ride on the train. They arrived in New York and took a hansom cab to James and Belle’s apartment.

  “Come in,” said Belle. Their large apartment overlooked the city. “James uses it mostly for business,” explained Belle, “although we do have many friends here and come often enough.”

  Belle had dinner ready. Lavinia could barely eat, and asked to be excused. “I’m rather tired and would like to get to bed early.”

  “We understand, dear,” said James. “Remember, you are not alone, Lavinia. We all support you.”

  “Thank you, and good night.”

  Claire helped Lavinia get ready, and tucked her into bed. She kissed each one of Lavinia’s fingers. “These are your weapons, Lavinia: love, creativity, wisdom, truth, tolerance, freedom, and courage.”

  “Those are the seven heavenly virtues!”

  “They are.”

  “What are the other three fingers for?”

  “Grandmama, Uncle Edward, and me—your closest family.”

  Lavinia nodded.

  Claire took a small package from her pocket.

  “What is that?”

  “The General couldn’t be here with you, but he wanted you to have something that would give you courage.”

  Lavinia’s heart swelled, “I love the General so much.”

  “So do I,” agreed Claire. “He might not be the typical uncle, but he certainly makes life interesting, and there is no denying his love for us.”

  “That’s for certain.”

  “Turn the lights out when you are ready to sleep. If you need me, I am right down the hall,” said Claire.

  “I’m sure that I will be fine.”

  Claire blew Lavinia a kiss, and closed the door. Lavinia unwrapped the small package. It contained the General’s Medal of Honor and a small note that said, “Good Luck, Soldier.”

  Red Valerian -“Readiness”

  Chapter 19

  The time had come to depart for the mediation. Lavinia requested a few moments alone. “Take as much time as you need, Lavinia,” said Claire gently.

  Lavinia gazed in the mirror. She had to admit that Claire was correct in the assumption that her attire would boost her confidence. She looked much more composed than she felt.

  Lavinia’s first reaction to her father’s letter had been one of disbelief; she assumed a terrible mistake had occurred. One look at Constance’s face confirmed the unthinkable. She had been frightened, true, but she was also angry. How could Papa use her as a pawn to avenge himself against Grandmamma? Clearly, she held no meaning for him as a person.

  “I would have been content to leave things as they were. Now I must act,” she thought with conviction. “I will find a way to reach Papa and make him understand how wrong this is.”

  Lavinia felt her mama’s presence wrap itself around her, and experienced a rush of love flow through her. “You might not be here in body, Mama, but I feel your spirit,” she whispered. She took comfort in knowing that her faith remained strong, and Mama would be with her.

  Lavinia did not wish to go to a boarding school in Europe. Her home was here. Her father may not accept her decision at first, but he had an obligation to consider her point of view. If he refused, he must understand that she would take further legal steps in an attempt to free herself from his control.

  Lavinia squared her shoulders and li
fted her head. She reached into her front pocket and touched the General’s Medal of Honor. “Papa believes that I will bend to his will,” she maintained. “I am stronger than he imagines, as he will soon see.”

  Resolved, Lavinia picked up Bubbles, and joined James, Belle, and Claire, who waited for her with open arms.

  Jacob’s Ladder -“Come Down Off Your Pedestal”

  Chapter 20

  They arrived at the attorney’s office and were shown into a conference room. Lavinia sat between Claire and James. Belle sat next to James. Ten minutes later, Alex arrived with his attorney. He stood in the doorway, and looked directly at Lavinia.

  Lavinia felt awkward. She stood and said nervously, “Hello, Papa.”

  Alex nodded, and walked over to Lavinia. He took both her hands into his own and said softly, “Hello, my dear.” Then he and his attorney sat on the opposite side of the conference table.

  “It’s been a long time, Alex,” said James.

  “So it has,” replied Alex.

  Alex’s attorney spoke. “Let me introduce myself, I am William Hardman. The purpose of this meeting is to determine what is best for Mr. Rexford’s daughter. As you are aware, Mr. Rexford feels that Lavinia would benefit from boarding school.”

  James spoke. “We are aware of Mr. Rexford’s position, but our family feels that it would be in Lavinia’s best interests to remain with her grandmother.”

  Alex leaned forward. “Lavinia returned the gift I sent her at Christmas. I believe that her current environment is hostile to my role as a parent.”

  “You’ve never assumed your role as a parent,” said Claire in disgust.

  Mr. Hardman interjected, “Mr. Rexford allowed Mrs. Spencer to care for the child, and he has provided and continues to provide funding for his daughter. Therefore, he has maintained his parental responsibilities.”

  “There is more to raising a child than money,” said Belle gently. “Lavinia has never known any other home. She is loved and well cared for.”

  “However, she does not live with a biological parent,” said the attorney.

  “But Mr. Rexford is not seeking personal custody,” said James angrily. “He intends to send his daughter to another country, and his motives do not derive from an interest in Lavinia’s welfare. He resents Mrs. Spencer, and is using the child as a means to injure her emotionally.”

  “Pure speculation on your part,” stated Mr. Hardman. “Mr. Rexford is exercising his parental rights under the law. He is not obliged to provide you with an explanation regarding his decisions, nor does he require your permission.”

  “Stop!” Lavinia stood up. “Please! Everyone leave the room. I want to speak to my father alone.”

  Mr. Hardman looked at Alex, who nodded. Everyone filed out, and it was just Lavinia and her father sitting across from each other at the table.

  Alex took a close look at his daughter. She was dressed exquisitely, and looked quite fetching sitting at the table holding her little pug.

  “I see that you brought your dog,” he said.

  “His name is Bubbles. I love him. Thank you for sending him to me,” said Lavinia with a smile. “He makes me so happy.”

  “Good,” responded Alex.

  “I hardly know what to say,” said Lavinia, “so I wrote down some questions on a piece of paper. Do you mind if I refer to it?” she asked.

  “Not at all,” stated Alex.

  Lavinia pulled out her list. “There are a number of things here, but if you don’t want to answer a question, please tell me. You are not obligated.”

  Alex shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He braced himself for Lavinia’s recriminations. “Let her get it out of her system,” he thought. “I’ll stay for a half-hour or so, and then leave.”

  Lavinia waited for his response.

  “Understood,” said Alex.

  Lavinia consulted her list, “What is your favorite color?”

  Alex looked at her in surprise, “What?”

  “What is your favorite color?”

  “I don’t know. I really hadn’t thought about it. Let me see. I think blue.”

  Lavinia wrote on her list. “What is your favorite food?”

  “Steak.”

  “I like steak too,” said Lavinia. “Do you like ice cream?”

  “Yes.”

  “What kind?”

  “Chocolate.”

  “What do you like the most about your job?”

  “Traveling to exotic places.”

  “What do you like the least?”

  “It keeps me away from home more than I would

  like.”

  “If you could spend a day doing anything that you wanted, what would you do?”

  Alex thought for a minute. “I would go to the beach and fly a kite. I did that when I was a boy. It’s been years since I’ve had that opportunity.”

  “Why don’t you make the time?”

  “I don’t think my daughters would be very interested in that activity.”

  “Why?”

  “Well, I don’t know.”

  “I like to fly kites. I do it all the time,” said Lavinia.

  “You do?”

  “Of course, and I also fish.”

  “I like to fish,” said Alex.

  “We probably have a few things in common,” suggested Lavinia.

  “You think so?”

  “I do,” said Lavinia solemnly.

  Alex nodded.

  “If you were an animal, what would you be?”

  Alex burst out laughing. “What kind of question is that?”

  “Don’t you want to answer it?”

  “I don’t know. What kind of animal would you be, Lavinia?”

  “I would be a bird and fly everywhere,” she said.

  After a moment, Alex said, “I think I would be a wild horse.”

  Lavinia nodded and wrote on her list.

  “I must say that I expected different questions, Lavinia. How did you arrive at your list?”

  “You should not be surprised, Papa. These are the sort of things that most children already know. I have wondered about you all my life. I don’t know what will happen here today. I don’t even know if I will ever see you again and, if I don’t, at least I’ll have my list, and my picture.”

  “You have a picture of me?”

  “Yes, my Uncle Cubby got it for me from the newspaper.”

  “I have a picture of you too.”

  “You do?”

  “Yes, Constance sent it.”

  “I look like you a little, don’t you think?”

  “You look very much like your mother. She was a beautiful woman.”

  “Do you ... think I’m beautiful?” asked Lavinia hesitantly.

  Alex stood up and walked over to Lavinia. He sat in the seat next to her and touched her cheek, “I think you are very beautiful.”

  Lavinia laid her list on the table. “Are you happy, Papa?”

  “I’m happy enough. Are you happy Lavinia?”

  “No, I am not.”

  “I expect that you do not want to go to boarding school.”

  “That is true. I love living with Grandmama and Uncle Edward, but I have also missed you,” said Lavinia. “Why didn’t you want me, Papa?”

  “It wasn’t that I didn’t want you, Lavinia. Your mother’s death came as a terrible shock. I had a business to run, and no family. I’m a busy man, and you would have been raised by strangers. Despite the fact that your grandmother and I do not get along, it was in your best interests to stay with her. Eventually I moved on with my life. I remarried and had other children.”

  “Did you never wonder about me?” pleaded Lavinia.

  “I did, but it seemed that you were happy and well cared for. Unfortunately, ill feelings complicated my relationship with your grandmother, and I felt that you were better off if I stayed away.”

  “Better off not knowing you? How can you say that?”

  “You are too young to understand.�
��

  “Perhaps that is so, Papa, but we are together now. I have hope that we can learn to know, and love, each other. Please don’t send me away.”

  Alex took Lavinia’s hand. “What do you want, Lavinia?”

  “I don’t know, Papa. I love Grandmama and Uncle Edward, but I often prayed that you would come for me. Now you are here, and I fear I will lose you again,” she replied. “I don’t know if I can bear that.”

  Alex nodded. “My wife, Charlotte, knows nothing about you, Lavinia. It will take some time to prepare her.”

  “Can’t you give us a chance, Papa? I will be satisfied with any amount of time you can spend with me. If it doesn’t work out, there is always boarding school.”

  “I am concerned that your grandmother will resent my position.”

  “I don’t believe that is true, but I will not speak for her. If my understanding of the law is correct, you do not require her permission to see me.” Lavinia puffed herself up and spoke in a poor imitation of Mr. Hardman, “nor are you obligated to provide an explanation for your decision.”

  Alex held Lavinia in his arms. “How did we ever arrive at this mess? Why don’t we spend the day together tomorrow and talk about it?”

  Lavinia held her papa tight. “I would love to, Papa.”

  “All right, Lavinia. Where are you staying?”

  “I am staying with James and Belle.”

  “I will pick you up tomorrow morning.”

  “Can I bring Bubbles along?”

  Alex picked up little Bubbles and held him. Bubbles licked his chin. “It might be a little cold for him. I have something in mind that I think you will enjoy.”

  “Spending the day with you will be my greatest joy,” replied Lavinia. “I’m sure the others are wondering what is happening in here.”

  “No doubt. Your Aunt Claire has probably strangled Mr. Hardman by now.”

  “True.” Lavinia stood up and Alex handed Bubbles back to her. She leaned over and kissed her father on the cheek. “Is it too soon for me to tell you I love you?” she asked anxiously.

  Alex looked into his daughter’s eyes, deeply affected by the depth of emotion he found there. It was then that he realized how his absence had determined all of their fates: Julia’s, his, and their daughter’s. Overcome, he pressed Lavinia to him. “I am so very sorry, my dear. Of course it is not too soon, and I thank God that it is not too late either.”