by Amy Starling
I buried my face in my hands. Even though he made me feel like a dope, I didn't regret bringing him. His company made me feel safe.
“I'm glad to see you've gained a little.” Dr. Ferris looked over my chart. “That's promising. We'll need to keep an eye on that for the next five months, though. Now, I'd like you to go visit Nurse Irene for that ultrasound.”
I rubbed my tummy. “You still need that?”
“Well, yes. It would reassure me that the baby is developing normally. You'd like that peace of mind, wouldn't you?”
I glanced at Max. He didn't seem fazed one bit.
“I suppose so.”
“Besides, you'll get to find out the baby's gender.” He winked. “I'm sure this is a very exciting time for you both.”
With that, he left us to go deal with some other patient. That was my cue to move.
“Y'know, I am excited,” Max noted. “And it's not even my kid. I think if it was mine, I'd be going nuts right now.”
“Thought you didn't want your own children.”
“I'm pretty sure I don't, but who knows? Time changes people, as you said.”
We went down the hall to the ultrasound room. The nurse saw us standing out there and waved me in.
“You sure you want to come in for this?”
“Hell yeah, I do. This is a huge moment for you. I just... want to be part of it somehow.”
Irene's eyebrows raised at Max's cussing, but she smiled warmly at him anyway.
“Dr. Ferris told me you're the dad. Congratulations.”
“Yeah, thank you.”
Maybe I was dreaming, but I swore I saw a hint of sadness in him. Didn't have time to think what it might mean, though.
“Go ahead and lie back on the chair. Pull your shirt up for me.” I did, and she cocked her head. “Wow, how far are you? Seventeen weeks, right? Hmm.”
That was all she said. “Hmm.” I didn't like the sound of it.
Max watched in awe as Irene smeared that cold, sticky goo on my stomach. Then she pressed the wand to my skin and adjusted some knobs. A blurry image appeared on the screen.
“There's the little one.” She pointed to a small, white mass of something that looked vaguely human. “We got a head, arms, legs, and... Oh, there's a penis. It's a boy!”
“A boy!” Max clapped. “Awesome. What do you think, Anna?”
I was too stunned to reply. Somehow, finding out the baby's gender made all of this sharply real. I couldn't deny it anymore. Couldn't pretend it was all a dream.
I was having this baby no matter what. This child, my son, who I didn't plan for and hadn't met yet – but I already loved him anyway.
“Everything looks great. Very normal.” She frowned. “A bit low on your amniotic fluid levels, but nothing to be alarmed about.”
She typed up her report and sent it to the doctor. While we waited, Max pranced from foot to foot beside me like a kid about to go to Disney World.
“You're doing fine, it seems.” Dr. Ferris signed off on my paperwork with a smile. “We'll see you back here next month. And Max – keep feeding her those extra calories, okay?”
“That won't be a problem, doc. I'll load her up with butter and bacon if that's what you want.”
In the car, I didn't say much. Max, however, wouldn't shut up.
“A boy, wow. You know how lucky you are? I mean, girls are great too, of course. But you can play football with a boy. Go hunting. Wrestle. Cool stuff like that.”
“You can do all that with a girl, you know.” I laughed. “You saying you'd do that with your son? You seem very eager to be a dad.”
He paused, as if he wanted to say something but thought better of it. Finally, he began to calm down.
“I never wanted to be a father, because I thought it would trap me. My friends with kids told me I didn't understand. I kind of do now.”
“You do?”
“When you care about a woman, everything changes. That's what they said.” He breathed deeply. “Now, it makes sense.”
If that was the closest he'd get to saying he had feelings for me, I'd take it. We drove back home, hand in hand.
Maybe I was crazy, but it seemed like things just might work out for us after all.
Chapter 17 - Max
“Now try and put some pressure on it. Go slowly. Take your time.”
I hadn't walked in eight weeks. My leg muscles had become weak and almost atrophied. I was itching like mad to get back in the game, to exercise and run miles and go back to putting out fires, where I belonged.
But I'd be lying if I hid my fear. The agonizing memory of bones breaking upon impact, of those off-white shards piercing my skin, was still burned into my mind. I'd stay in the chair forever if it meant none of that ever again.
“Go on, Max. You can do this.”
The nice nurse encouraged me. I wish I had Anna here with me, 'cause then I really could do it. Too bad her mother had flown back into Austin and practically ordered her to check out wedding venues on short notice.
People like her, I swore, were the worst thing about marrying into a family. They were why I never considered even dating a woman, let alone proposing to her.
My foot touched the floor. That worked all right. Then, real slow, I tried to stand.
Sharp pain radiated from my ankle all the way up to my knee. I inhaled deeply and tried not to cry.
This was nothing, right? I couldn't be a sissy. Over eight weeks had gone by. Healing should have been pretty much complete.
“Easy,” the nurse said. “You're not used to standing on your feet anymore. You have to learn how to walk all over again.”
“Learn how to...? Lady, I'm not an infant.”
She smiled. “You're almost there. And you'll definitely be all better in time for your wedding.”
My wedding, huh? Seemed like half the town knew about that without me once opening my mouth.
Anna's dad actually had the nerve to put up papers all around here, and even as far out as Austin, maybe beyond. They were flyers, advertising his next tour through the Lone Star State – and, as the crowning event, the marriage of his youngest and most beautiful daughter.
To me, it felt like he was auctioning off his prize pig at the county fair. At first, for him, Anna was a weakness. Now, she was just a pawn in his bid for governor.
“You must be very excited,” the nurse went on. “Anna's a great girl. I buy fresh veggies from her at the farmer's market every weekend. And a baby! You two are so lucky.”
I knew that I was. For a woman like her to even give me the time of day, that was something special.
When I first came here and tried to put my hands on her, she wasn't having none of it. But then that first kiss we shared, it was the most satisfying kiss I'd ever had in my life.
I didn't know what it meant back then. Thought we just had awesome physical chemistry, and that might be true, but... It was more than that. Much more.
Trouble was, I still didn't know what exactly I wanted out of life. My goal had been to heal up and continue my journey out west in the RV, since Waco held nothing for me but shame and regret.
Anna was worth sticking around for, but how long could I really stay? And this wedding nonsense? I'd have told Daniel to stick those flyers where the sun don't shine, but the last thing I wanted was to cause trouble for her.
Still, I couldn't just get married because some asshole said I had to. If I did this, it'd be on my own terms.
Man, never had I been so confused in my life.
The nurse gave me instructions for practicing on my own between physical therapy appointments. I also got myself a new pair of crutches, just in case.
Trey was waiting for me in the lobby. He'd been my ride up here. Let me tell you, I was getting mighty sick of having people drive me around town.
“I just talked to Chris. With how hot and dry it's been lately, they got little brush fires popping up all over.” He patiently waited for me to haul myself into the van. “The
y've been able to maintain control for now. But it's August, and there's no rain in sight.”
“I hate sitting on the sidelines. You brought me here to help out, and now look at me.”
“No one could have foreseen that accident, Max. You'll be back on your feet real soon.” He glanced at me, studying me. “What are you gonna do when you're better? I imagine the folks at your job aren't happy with all this extended time off.”
“I'm supposed to be getting married, I guess.”
He slammed on the brakes at the stoplight. “You're not marrying Anna.”
I had to chuckle at how serious he was, how... angry, almost.
“Oh, I'm not?”
“This has gone too far. When you told me your ridiculous plan, I went along with it for a while. But this? It's time to come clean and tell everyone the truth.”
“The hell's your problem?”
“Anna is a fine woman. I know she wants to appease her parents and keep hold of the farm, but marrying the likes of you to do it? It's absurd.”
“You ever think maybe she'd marry me for more reasons than that?”
He laughed, though clearly he didn't find this funny. We pulled into the McDonald's drive-through for lunch. I couldn't eat; my stomach was in knots.
“Frankly, I'm confused why you let this go on so long. Figured as soon as Daniel started making his demands, you'd bail.” He looked me over. “That's what I think you're planning to do. You're gonna let this show go on until your legs are better, then hop in your RV and never return.”
“You think I'd just leave Anna here to deal with this alone?”
“Why not? That's what you do. You don't commit to any one person, not ever. Your specialty is scoring a new girl whenever you want to get laid.” He rolled his eyes. “Before you came here, you complained to me about Bastrop's lack of strip clubs.”
I shoved him. “Shut up. People can change.”
“And you think you've changed? That, I very much doubt. I'm not gonna let you hurt her.”
“Idiot, maybe she wants to marry me.”
“Yeah, but not for the right reasons! She's scared what her dad will do if she doesn't. If you think for a moment she's getting hitched out of love, you're nuts.”
He pissed me off so much, I punched the dashboard. My knuckles throbbed. Didn't care. How dare he?
“How do you presume to know how she feels? Maybe you ought to ask her.”
“I did ask her. That's what she told me – she was doing this because she had no choice.”
It felt like I'd been punched in the gut. No, that couldn't be true. She wasn't getting hitched out of nothing but duty to her family. She had feelings for me.
Didn't she?
“She knows how you are, too. Believes you'll void the marriage and run first chance you get.”
“She doesn't think that. She can't think that.”
All those special moments we'd shared... The mind-blowing sex that made me feel, for the first time, like I was actually connected to another human being...
Didn't it mean anything to her?
Trey pulled into Anna's driveway and idled there while eating his burger. I looked for her truck, but she still wasn't home. Why now, of all times, when I so badly needed to talk to her?
“I'm asking you to be sensible, man. Don't do this.”
“If getting married is what Anna wants, why not let her?”
“She's been through enough pain these last few months. She deserves someone who actually loves her.”
“And you think I don't?”
His eyebrow raised. “Do you?”
That word petrified me. I wasn't even sure what it meant, exactly. Having warm, fuzzy feelings for someone was one thing. But love, well...
“I care about her more than you'll ever know.”
He scoffed. “You care about her? Then explain to her dad this was all a huge misunderstanding. Tell him the baby's real father is out there somewhere, and if he wants to punish someone, go after him.”
I could do that. It would be so much easier than tying my life to this woman when I wasn't sure what I wanted quite yet. I knew that I longed to travel, and was I really done sowing my wild oats?
When I got hurt, I was like a viper that lashed out at everyone in my way. I had planned to keep my mouth shut about the incident at Pierre's, but if Trey was going to start crap with me, then I had news for him, too.
“Y'know, what about you? What do you know about love? You've been with Rachael for years and haven't proposed yet.”
“That's none of your damn business.”
“I think it became my business when your girlfriend put her hands on me at dinner a couple weeks back.”
Trey's jaw fell. “She... What?”
“She was smashed beyond belief. All the venom she was spewing at Anna, I couldn't take it anymore. Remember?” I sure as heck did, though I'd like to forget. “We went off to talk. I asked her what her problem was. She had a breakdown, wondering why you hadn't asked her to marry you yet.”
He rubbed his temples. “Why would she tell you that?”
“Because apparently, seeing me with Anna made her jealous. She said she had a crush on me still, after all these years.”
“No, that's nonsense. You're making it up.”
“Dumbass, why would I lie about this? I don't like to start drama. I just thought you should know.”
He cast me a wary glance. “You didn't... touch her, did you?”
“Of course not. I have more respect for my brother than that. Besides, I got Anna. She'd never forgive me.”
Trey looked as if the life had been sucked out of his soul. Had I made a mistake telling him? Maybe. I just wanted him to lay off me about Anna.
Yeah, and if I was being honest, misery loves company.
“Listen, man. She was really drunk. I don't think she'd actually cheat on you. It was more like... She still held onto the past for some reason.”
“Yeah, I hope you're right. Maybe she and I need to have a talk.”
I got out of the car, hoping I didn't just do something irreparably stupid.
Chapter 18 - Anna
“Oof! You've gotten so fat, you barely fit into your dress!”
I gasped for air as mom forced the zipper to go up. The gown had fit fine just a couple of weeks ago, but evidently, my belly had grown another size in that time.
“Mom, please... I don't think we should put so much pressure on the baby. And I can't breathe.”
She waved me off. “Don't be silly. The child will be fine. And as for you, sometimes we ladies must sacrifice comfort for beauty. You do want to look beautiful on your wedding day, yes?”
“Sure I do. But do I really need to wear those shoes? I can barely walk in high heels. I'm used to boots.”
She rammed my swollen foot into the silken shoe. I winced as my toes curled up at the pointed tip.
“It's only for one day. Goodness, Anna, when did you become such a complainer? Your sister and I have done so much to make this work for you, and all you do is whine.”
The wedding was to be less than a week away, yet it still felt surreal. I had no idea what to think anymore.
Max's legs were better, for the most part. He could have probably moved back to Waco and left me here to deal with my own problems, but he stayed.
I still couldn't figure out why he'd go along with this. Because he believed he owed me? Or could it be something more? He never talked about his feelings, or about us, so figuring him out was next to impossible.
And I was supposed to marry this man in six days. Wonderful.
A clerk from the dress store came into the fitting room and fretted over me along with mom.
“Isn't there anything you can do? My daughter has gotten quite big around the middle. I'm afraid the zipper will break.”
“I'm sorry, ma'am, but it's too short of notice to make any significant alterations.”
Mom groaned. “Anna, it's nothing but salads for you until after the
big day.”
“The doctor said I was supposed to be eating more, not less.”
“Well, the doctor isn't the one trying to look pretty for the cameras, now is he?”
Finally, I was allowed to take off the dress and slip back into my comfy clothes. While I dressed, mom gave me a list of things I was to do and not do for the next week.
“Be sure you use that medicine I got you. It wouldn't do to have pimples showing, like you've got now. That one on your chin is awfully noticeable.” She sighed deeply. “And tell Max he needs to be completely clean-shaven. None of that stubble he's always got.”
I happened to think he looked sexy that way, especially when he was out working and sweating on the farm. That mental image of him alone made me want to rush home and rip his pants off.
Back at the house, dad was there filming a commercial for his campaign. He'd donned a cowboy hat, flannel shirt, and jeans – nothing like his usual dressy attire. Apparently, he was going for the “traditional Texan” look, as if that somehow would make him appear more trustworthy.
They had cameras set up all over. One cameraman followed him while he strolled past the garden, a smile plastered on his face.
“Family values. Southern hospitality.” He paused by the pond and looked into the camera. “I'm Daniel Southwell, and if you believe honoring tradition is as important as making progress, vote for me as your next California governor.”
“All right, that's great, Mr. Southwell.” The kid working the camera wiped his forehead from the heat. “Can you try to say it again with a bigger Texas drawl?”
Dad noticed me heading up the driveway and gestured for the boy to wait a moment. He came to me, beaming.
“There's my princess. Aren't you excited? Just six days to go.”
He was clearly more excited than me. I couldn't help but feel this discontent, as if what we were doing was wrong.
“Where is Max, anyway?”
“He's better now, so he drove back to Waco to take care of some things. I know his friends must miss him a lot.” I paused on the doorstep. “This whole thing doesn't feel right to me. Isn't there any other way?”